Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Lurching along


My days have no "flow" lately. I hate that. There is no routine, and there's too much running around. I don't like having to go out on Wednesday nights and Saturday mornings with DD to her cheer stuff. I don't mind the cheering itself, but the running around is exhausting. Especially this week, with having to go out last night, too.

OTOH, this is a good preview of what life will be like if I work for Princeton Review. I will be out one or two nights a week over a couple of months for each class. Maybe at that point I'll be used to it!

Heard back from the g/e dr's office today, and my celiac tests all came back in the normal range. I am simultaneously relieved and annoyed. I don't want to have celiac but I do want to find the trigger, what is causing all this auto-immune crap I am dealing with. I was perversely hoping that it is celiac, because there's a known successful treatment for it -- going gluten-free. And I'm so close to being gluten-free now that all it would require is an additional layer of vigilance with respect to ingredient-checking. It would also put a big crimp on eating out, which we periodically do quite often. But still, it would be do-able.

I'm also wondering if the Plaquenil I'm on could be affecting the test results, too. I swear, I never have any antibodies when I'm tested for them. My RA factor was negative, as were my anti-thyroid antibodies. And yet I have RA and I definitely have Hashimoto's thyroiditis, which is an auto-immune condition. Not to mention the adrenal fatigue stuff I went through, which some drs brush off but was very real. Or is it just foolish of me to say, well, it was a very specific treatment and it worked, so that must've been it?

Thursday I get my shoulder blade "spot" biopsied. Next Wednesday, the colonoscopy. I can feel my whole system just tensing up over this. Blech. I should take up meditation.

All this medical stuff is weighing heavily on me. I'm having trouble focussing on work, either for the freelance job or for MILC -- and I do have a couple of letters that need answering! I hate this "stuck" feeling, I know I just have to sit down and start, and I'll be OK, but for now even getting into gear is tough.

I'm sick of my own whining, too. *grrrrr*

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