so, not done...

My head and neck surgeon at MDA referred me to their endocrinologist, and I thought, "Why not?" I like my endo just fine, but her office staff is neither friendly nor supportive.  I always feel as if I'm inconveniencing them when I call, if I actually connect to a human.  If I don't connect to a person, I inevitably get bounced to a voice mail box that is full.  This year, because I wanted to be tested at a more local hospital, I had to make a half-dozen phone calls to figure out where the order should be sent.  That's not my job, and I resented it having to do it.  I'm glad I did, though, because for the first time ever I didn't have to drive all the way to Phoenix for my testing.

My tumor marker test results finally came in, slightly lower than last time (3.60) at 2.90.  But my new endocrinologist and I discussed whether this result is useful or meaningful for someone like me.  Her opinion: at this point, it's detectable vs undetectable.  I should haven't any cancer activity, so the tumor marker should be undetectable.  The fact that it's not means I have some cancer somewhere, albeit (most likely) very small.

Since my ultrasound and my whole body scans consistently come back clean, even though my tumor marker is detectible, that says these tests aren't worth doing any more.  (This has been going on for years, after all.)  The new endo explains it like this: we know the cancer is there, but it's not showing up on these tests, so there's no point in doing these tests anymore.  Half of me says, YAY! No more low-iodine diet, no more Thyrogen (r) trials, none of this foolishness anymore! 

The other half says, Wait, what? Intellectually I knew that sometimes thyroid cancer just stops picking up radioactive iodine sometimes, I just never thought mine was like that... except it obviously is, since I've got cancer that doesn't show up on the whole body scan.

The new endo wants a thorough work up to stage my cancer, so next Friday I'm going for a lab test that looks at adrenal function (to see what's going with my pituitary), as well as a CT scan, a PET scan, and a brain MRI.  It's going to be a fun (haha) and expensive day. 

The good thing is, after all that, we'll know what we're dealing with, because honestly at this point all we know is that there is cancer somewhere.  I've been operating on the assumption that it's small because it's not showing up on the whole body scans, but that's only one possibility.  The other possibilities include a) it's not small and/or  b) it's not picking up the radioactive iodine anymore.

I'm just glad it will be over relatively quickly, and I'll have some idea what's going on soon.

In other news, I had another round of x-rays on my broken toe and it's worse, at least the break near the bottom joint. I'm now buddy-taping two toes over and wrapping around the ball of my foot to try to stablilze it, and I'm back to elevating the foot and icing it as often as possible.  I could not possibly be more irritated with that situation.

On the other hand, I watched and enjoyed season 3 of Netflix's Jessica Jones (spoiler, foreshadowed from the very beginning of season 1: Trish was the monster all along. ) and all of season 1 of HBO's Big Little Lies, and I've read two Terry Pratchett novels and have one last one I'm kind of saving.  Plus I'm listening to the McElroy's podcast The Adventure Zone, and am caught up with Amnesty but just started the Balance arc.  If I'm going to just be listening, I need to find something else to do, so I'm actively toying with the idea of a knitting project.  I just don't know what to knit!

Niece & nephew are visiting next week from New Orleans, and then the following week DH and I are heading east.  Summer's not flying by but it is going by faster than I'd like!

and, done!

Most likely. 

Since I had the scan at a different hospital, the nucmed doctor was not there to look it over.  Technically I have to wait until I get the official report, but I looked at the images and didn't see anything out of the ordinary.  I was particularly interested to see whether the weird area of uptake in my chest re-appeared, but I didn't see it.  (Doesn't mean it's not there, but if it is, it's very subtle.)

There was a blip, however, at the lab: my bloodwork that's supposed to go to UC Davis? "We're not using that code anymore," the technician told me.  She assured me they would call the doctor's office and find out what was supposed to happen, and that's all to the good. But I had a blood draw last weekend before this whole process started that was also supposed to go to UC Davis, and now I'm wondering if it actually went. 

I could allow myself to become agitated about this, but I won't because I'm not going to find out those results for another month. I'm just going to back-burner all this until my next appointment.

at the turn

I'm happily exhausted.

Monday I started my low-iodine diet and my first-ever stint as a summer STEM camp instructor.  My school sponsored a session of Camp Invention, and it was both very busy and very fun.  The best part was the team I worked with, including the director and one other instructor, both teachers from my school, and then all the interns and "leaders in training" -- older students -- who helped make it all possible.  I'll get a stipend that sounds great for a week of 9:00 AM - 3:30 PM contact time, but we all earned every penny of it!  I think one afternoon we teachers were out by 4:30, but all the other days it was more like 5:30 or 6, and the day started about 8 the latest.  NIHF sends all the material (more than adequate amounts, but a lot of absolutetly lowest-cost supplies) and curriculum (truly superb), and they provide online support with everything from training videos to background music and timers.  Even though all I had to do was read through the curriculum and deliver it, there was still considerable prep work involved, and my two classes were probably the least fussy! 

The kids had a blast.  It was interesting to work with such young students.  It took me back to my story-time days when my own kids were very small.  The very first sort-of teaching thing I ever did was story time at Borders!  The younger group (rising first through third graders) was completely onboard.  The older group (rising fourth through sixth graders) had some holdouts on some of the slightly sillier things, but there was only one who pretty much sat out the entire week.  Fortunately she wasn't able to poison everyone else's enjoyment, even though she refused to participate in practically everything.  The kids built, and we sent home with them, an inordinate amount of stuff that would make me shudder if anyone brought it into my home now, but looking back, I remember that's what you deal with when you have young kids.  Also: building and experimenting is such a positive activity for them, they all (except that one) loved just having time to make stuff, and no one telling them to stop making a mess or "No, you can't do that."

Notwithstanding all that, I'm definitely in the right job: teaching the "littles" for more than a week and I think my head would explode.   I couldn't even begin to count the number of times the phrase "suck it up, buttercup," went through my head when a child whined about something not being exactly the way they wanted it... I managed not to say it aloud even once! Something to be proud of, I suppose.  Redirect, redirect, redirect... In a week, you can really suss out who the good kids who are and who are, sadly, more or less rotten.  By today I just wasn't as willing to give the brats a lot of energy or attention.  Everyone survived.

LID while at camp: no breakfast (never eat breakfast, really), apple at snack time, a banana and fig & walnut thing from Trader Joe's; after school, a peach, and then dinner.  So far it's going OK but DS2 threw a mini-tantrum about the boring roast pork loin and I did rather harshly put him in his place by suggesting that he find a better recipe and cook it himself!  With any luck, by this time next week I'll be off the diet and have a clean report from my scan.  The scan will be done, of course, but I don't know if I'll get the results immediately the way I usually do, because I'm going to the different, blessedly closer, hospital this time around. 

So, a blood test tomorrow morning kicks off the merry-go-round of appointments. Oh yeah, between the ultrasound and the scan, I'm spending $1000 on medical testing next week -- there goes my stipend...

into the maelstrom

In five days, give or take, I'll start the low iodine diet in preparation for my whole body scan two weeks from today.   That will give me a solid week before my dose of radioactive iodine.  It ought to be enough...

I have an inordinate amount of medical appointments scheduled for the week after next.  I feel as if they have come out of nowhere, but they all materialized over the last few days.  I have three ultrasound-related appointments, and then four whole-body-scan-related appointments, and three trips to the lab.  I still need to schedule my last follow-up appointment, which will be right before I head into my pre-service days, as well as a "spot check" .  

I don't really want to think about my summer being over yet, but that's how this plays out.  I really wanted to do the scan in early June, but that didn't work out.  At least I'm not driving all the way into downtown Phoenix this time, but the situation is still somewhat tenuous.  At UHC downtown, I went every day to the same place for the injections, the dose, and the scan.  At the closer place, I'm in a different locale for each step!  They sound like they have their act together.  I just hope they do.  

Next week, I'm teaching at a STEM summer camp program at my school.  It's a later start than my usual school days, I'll be out by 4, so the days won't be too long.  I hope having a broken toe doesn't impair my ability to have fun while I'm there!  

same foot, different summer

Yesterday was a very busy and productive day: the two boys and I finally, finally painted DS2's room.  Yay!

Except on the way back up to his room to finish up the second coat, I stubbed my little toe on the rug that is usually in the hall -- I had flipped it over so it wouldn't get (any more) paint dripped on it accidentally.  And then I walked right into it, smashing my little toe in the process.

I have a podiatrist now, after smashing my big toe last summer and breaking it in 3 places. I spent most of the summer in a boot, praying it would heal before school started.  It did, and I've been very cautious about going barefoot since then, and especially since the neuroma kicked up in my right foot, too.  Why is it always the right foot?

Anyway, saw the doctor, she took x-rays, and showed me how it was broken in 3 places. Horrifying, actually.  No cast, just buddy-taping, and she wants me to wear the boot again for another six weeks.

Not likely...I feel barely recovered from the hip damage I developed from wearing the boot last summer, and this isn't a big toe, which you really need for balance and walking, etc.  This is just a baby toe!  Sure, it's kind of purple now, and I will keep it elevated, and ice it, and all that stuff, but I refuse to surrender another summer entirely.  Also, I've got sandals that accomplish pretty much the same thing.  We'll see how it goes.

best excuse ever

I have some correspondence to write, but the piano tuner is here. 

It is possible to maintain a coherent thought, but stringing more than one together with another? Nope.

summer

The first unofficial start of summer in my family is Mother's Day, when we celebrate the coming season with a cookout.

The actual unofficial start of summer is Memorial Day weekend, because here in AZ, school (at least my school, and up to this year, my kids' school) conveniently end just before that.

Of course, science-wise, summer doesn't officially start until the summer solstice, which is some 3 weeks away.   My brain seems more atuned to that calendar, because I'm surprisingly not exhausted and ready for long, lazy days.  I have a long list of tasks I'd like to accomplish, both work-related and house-related, and I've been chipping away at it all week.

Which is not say that I'm being super-productive.  Just moderately so, as in, "not completely lazy and doing nothing."  But it doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment to spend hours trying to schedule medical appointments, and still be without any for my long-delayed whole body scan.  I did schedule an ultrasound, though, and I may just skip the WBS for now... again.  It just seems like a lot of money and hassle (Low-iodine diet? No, thanks.) for very little information.

I had my vision field test and eye exam on Tuesday.  My eyesight is holding steady which shocks everyone. There is widespread disbelief that I can function well with the same lowest-level cheaters I've been using for years.  I guess it's unusual.  The VFT, however, showed a gap in my left peripheral vision that I actually noticed during the test.  Directly to the left, there's a blind spot.  Upper left and lower left, I could see all the flashes just fine, and close to the center, no problem. I requested records be sent to both my endo and my head & neck doctor at MDA, so we'll see what they say.  I can't remember the last time they imaged the pituitary, but I do know my pituitary hormones are still behaving themselves.  The doctor is having me repeat the VFT in six months to keep an eye on it, so that's something to look forward to, just before Christmas.

I'm still processing the fact that I have only 2 college students now.  DS1 is home and diligently applying for jobs but he's going to have do something about his inverted sleep schedule!  He's getting lots of interviews and we're all just waiting for something to click.  DS2 is also home, post-high school graduation, and we gave him this week to be lazy, but he'll be looking for a job now, too -- the kind of job you can have and still be a full-time college student.  We'll see how that goes.

DD is spending the summer up in Flagstaff, and is looking for a job up there.  I've seen a bit more of her recently as she's come home for Mother's Day and DS2's graduation.  I've made the drive up to Flagstaff multiple times, too, helping her furnish her new apartment.  I have to say it's much nicer than any of my college apartments ever were, but then, my parents didn't help my furnish mine.  She has great taste and we've been lucky finding her good used furniture at good prices in resale and antique stores.   My mother-in-law (visiting for DS2's graduation) found her an awesome little table and chairs set absolutely buried in stuff at the antiques mall.

I'm sure my restlessness will settle down eventually.  My classroom is in great shape for the fall, I just want to give my desk a good cleaning and a thick coat of wax to spruce it up a bit.  I had the luxury of time to go through all my files and clean out stuff I didn't need, and organize what was left.   I'm working one week in June at a STEM camp at my school, but I'm also seriously thinking of applying at Pearson as a scorer for piece work over the summer, too.  Otherwise I think I might go crazy doing nothing?

Last summer I had to sit around with my foot up because of the broken toe.  I certainly don't want to do the same thing by my own choice this year!