Thursday, March 11, 2004

wasted day

Not entirely, I suppose, since I worked a little over 2 hours, mostly on the phone, catching up with the guys I haven't talked to for over 2 weeks. They've made tremendous progress with the software in those 2 weeks, and we're hoping to release an alpha version of the product by the end of this month. That means I need to get writing! Cool.

But most of the day, yeah, I feel it was a waste although I found some great new source material. I was engaged for a good part of the day, again, in a discussion about the whole gay marriage issue with a very liberal young woman on another forum I participate in. She had posted in her journal a very emotional response to the fact that MA legislature is considering an amendment to ban gay marriage in that state, and she was, literally, taking it personally.

My take on this issue is quite different. I'm annoyed that the gays have done an end-run around the legislative process. The comparison to the Civil Rights movement is completely bogus, because no one in the Civil Rights movement was sworn to uphold the laws of their state, the way the MA judges did, the way those handful of rebellious elected city officials have. The whole thing is just so stupid, because what they are doing is actually shutting OFF meaningful dialog, and blocking any real, reasonable solution.

A couple of articles I found very helpful: Thomas Sowell's "Gay Marriage" Confusions, and also this from the Weekly Standard, about how weakening of the social institution of marriage has changed family life in Scandinavia: The End of Marriage in Scandinavia by Stanley Kurtz, originally published 2/2/04.

I do have a major problem with people who refuse to acknowledge that it's better for children to be raised in stable, loving 2-parent homes with a mother and a father. Yes, I know that for many families, that's just not possible. I realize that many children don't live that life. However, I do believe that it is the best situation and I don't fault the government for wanting to encourage it.

Kurtz' article details how marriage has been in decline for the last 30 years or so in Scandinavia, and how it has resulted in a huge increase in single parent households. Of course Scandinavia has welfare going on at all levels, and it is pretty much racially homogenous, much more so than the US. Not to mention that those countries are really tiny, especially compared to the US. When I pointed out that changing the definition of marriage was really nothing more than social experimentation on a grand scale, I got leapt upon, of course.

I was also fascinated by the views expressed by Suzanne Fields, "Queer Eye" for straight courtship, in which she talks about the gay marriage movement is really an attempt to mainstream homosexuality, and that quite a large number of gays are not happy about that. Whatever happened to being different, and proud of it? Isn't marriage an institution of the much-sneered at bourgeoisie? Fields posits that gays with that viewpoint are intimidated into silence, and that the debate/struggle is being driven by judges and PC leaders. It's an interesting concept and not one I had read or heard about previously.

As usual, since I spent so much time on the phone and on the computer today, the kids spiralled into a meltdown this evening. DD got so annoyed with DS1 that she forcefully dis-assembled one of his Bionicle toys, and he responded by pinching her cheeks so hard you could see the fingernail marks an hour later. I had her ice her cheeks down and hopefully they won't swell up or bruise. At least that's what I hope, because if she goes out and about with a beat-up looking face, we could get into serious trouble with CPS.

It really disturbs me when DS1 loses his temper and becomes violent like that. So far he hasn't done it to DS2 but then again, DS2 is a lot smaller and doesn't goad him the way DD does. It's just distressing. We told him about what could happen to our family if anyone even thinks that our kids are being abused, and he really seemed to understand. He was very upset about being yelled at and punished, but after he calmed down he got very sad and scared and really was very sorry.

I don't want to scare him unnecessarily, but I think it's entirely appropriate to make him understand the consequences of violent action... even if it's "only" a fight with his little sister.

Lots of thinking on big ideas today. Maybe it wasn't such a waste, after all. But I certainly didn't do much in the physical world. Didn't finish folding the laundry (just a few whites -- undies and socks), didn't put the other laundry away, didn't clean up anything or even pay that much attention to the kids. Ick.

Not that I can use this as an excuse, but it was my first day on Bextra. I ran out of my trial of Vioxx and want to give the Bextra a good try of a couple of weeks at least and see how it goes. Today was weird, weather-wise, because it was cloudy but hot, and we had a big thunderstorm, but no rain, this evening. Hands and feet and hips are killing me... it's as if I hadn't taken anything. Just the weather, or does Bextra just not work? I was good and made my appointment with my rheumatologist, so I can discuss with her my pain meds and the possibility of going on that disease-modifying drug to try and stop the progression of the RA.

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