on the block, again

Just got back from my visit with the wonderful Dr. O, my ENT. Happily, he concurs completely with how my PA has been handling the Sinus Infection from Hell, and tells me to give it a good 10 days more, when I should finally be feeling better.

Sadly, he agrees that the lump in my neck is suspicious, and has ordered an ultrasound with FNA biopsy for me here in Phoenix. He's sending me to yet-another-doctor who is also a cytologist, so this doc can do the evaluation himself without having to send it out to a lab. That's good. It's also good that this node is very easily accessible, so he should be able to take good samples.

I sent a "head's up" message to both of my doctors at M. D. Anderson. I wonder what they'll say? And now I'm counting weeks before our planned summer vacation, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to need surgery and will we able to do it all in time? I don't know.

I talked with DH and he thinks the thing to do if it's positive is move up the nuclear scan before any surgery, so we can see what we're dealing with here. That should be an option -- we'll see what the MDA docs think.

I do feel like crying, but there's no point. Maybe the news won't be bad! In all honesty, though, I'm sure it will be, so what's the point in pretending it won't be? I used to be able to hope for the best, but expect the worst (that way I'm prepared for all contingencies, right?) but that's a pretense I can't maintain just now. This sucks.

Update: the biopsy is scheduled for 4/28, but I can call in between times to see if there have been any cancellations. Great! I just love having stuff like this hang over my head for weeks on end! [/sarcasm]