There's nothing major going on, just a lot of minor, kind of irritating things that are keeping me not so much grounded as submerged.
It may sound like a good thing, but it's very, very bad to have skinny mirrors in your dressing area. I always forget that the mirrored doors in our bathroom are, indeed, skinny -- so it was quite a shock when I got a look at my backside's actual dimensions in the dressing room at Eddie Bauer last week. (No wonder those jeans didn't fit!) The tape measure at home confirmed it, my hips are now wider than they have ever been, other than when I was pregnant or recovering from delivery. Yikes!
Time to get serious and stop and eating so much carborific food (I'm looking at you, Trader Joe's Veggie and Flaxseed Chips) and get back into an exercise routine.
The first three days of doing lunges put me in a state where walking and sitting were about equally painful, but that's worn off now.
Interestingly, I found that exercising at night before bed does not interfere at all with my sleep; I think I fall asleep more easily since I've released any tensions. I also wake up more or less without pain, which is astonishing. This leads me to my latest rule for life: exercise is not optional. I'm sure I'll blow it off from time to time, and for longer stretches here and there, but for now I'm sold on the benefits.
Windows Vista has several annoying quirks. I'm still not used to all the software that came with this machine, and I miss the stuff we had on the XP machine that had simple, clear interfaces. The new Vista HP PhotoSmart is horribly non-intuitive -- why do I have to put a check mark under the photos I want to edit? Isn't that ridiculously clunky? Why can't I just click on the Edit tab and have it edit the photo that is currently highlighted? Who designed this hideously unfriendly interface? Can I slap them? Oh -- is there no unzip utility for Vista? Because Vista is entirely ignorant of files with the ".zip" extension, and that's inexcusable as far as I'm concerned.
There's just too much new. In addition to the new Vista computers, there's my new camera, which takes forever to store photos -- seriously, about 4 seconds, which is way too long. Is it the memory card, which is supposed to be high speed but is some brand I never heard of? I have no idea. I need to check the settings. But it's really annoying.
Then there's the new all-in-one printer/scanner/fax, which doesn't communicate properly with Vista even though they are all HP machines. I've had to re-install the software twice, and I've had to "add a printer" from the Network page about a dozen times. I'm sorry, but WTF? Jeez. At least the people on the online chat at HP Service are knowledgeable and have been able to get everything working again... so far.
Remember I had to port my website a few weeks ago? Well, now I have new website management software which reports everything in a completely different format than the old software. It's way better, of course, but it doesn't seem to have the one report that let me figure out what images of mine had been hijacked into discussion forums. I'll figure it out... eventually.
Even freakin' SiteMeter went and upgraded over this same time period!
School is rapidly drawing to a close. My in-laws are arriving the day after school lets out for another of their whirlwind visits, this time made even more crazy by the fact that DH and my FIL will be attending all three Diamondbacks-Red Sox games over the weekend. Whee! A few days after they leave, we leave for the summer.
I'm not ready for any of it, and a bigger part of me than usual is actually dreading going. DH will be back home here for nearly a month! That's too long for us to be apart. I'm worried about my mom and what the situation will be at her house, with us, plus my sister-in-law and her children, and the random nephew or two. I'm sure it will be fine when we get there, but there are too many things squeezing me right now for me to look forward to the trip with nothing but pleasurable anticipation.
Sorry for the extended lament -- it's all small potatoes, and I know that. We just have to get through the next couple of weeks, and then I can exhale.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
last summer
Definitive news came yesterday that, starting with the 2008-2009 academic year, our school is moving to a modified year-round schedule. We'll be 9 weeks on, 2 weeks off, with school starting in July. That gives 2 week breaks in October, December/January, and March. Summer will be 4-5 weeks, mostly June.
sigh
I knew they'd come to an end someday, my deliciously long New England summers. We'll have to make the most of this one.
sigh
I knew they'd come to an end someday, my deliciously long New England summers. We'll have to make the most of this one.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
top 10 things full-time teachers should tell their substitutes
I had another one of those days subbing today, and it completely took me by surprise. The teacher I worked for is one that had one of my own kids in recent years, so I thought I was familiar with her classroom style; I wasn't expecting any great difficulties.
What I failed to consider is that the teacher's style is only part of the equation, and that the make-up of the class is another, equally important part. The culture of the class won't just be determined by the teacher, because let's face it, no one has that much control. A lot of it depends on the kids, their capabilities, and their personalities. My biggest problem today was expecting this class to be like my kid's class, and it wasn't.
I ran into a multitude of small issues today, along with one issue -- actually, one child -- that was a constant source of disruption and (I'll admit it) irritation. So here's my list of the top 10 things that full-time teachers should tell their subs, to help avoid the problems I had today. (I didn't include lesson plans; this is the stuff besides lesson plans that subs need to know.)
10) The full names of the teachers and aides that the sub will be interacting with, along with the room numbers where you can expect to find them. Abbreviations don't cut it with subs that are not familiar with all the staff at the school. We have a pretty small school, relatively, but there are still some teachers' and aides' names I don't know. Today, since I don't know who the aide was, I couldn't ask about her whereabouts when she wasn't there to get the kids out to morning recess. So I had to take them out, which was OK but still left me wondering what was up with her.
9) A list of permissable activities for the kids to do when/if they've finished all their work. A recent in-class project involved curling ribbon, and I guess some kids hadn't finished, and so were working on it today. But at least a third of the class was cutting off lengths of curling ribbon at various times, completely independent of any activity. I put the curling ribbon away at least twice, and told the class at least twice "No more curling ribbon today," but apparently the lure of the curling ribbon was impossible to resist.
8) A list of activities the kids should not be doing when/if they've finished all their work. I let some kids use the computer workstations today, and many of them logged in to EdHeads to do virtual knee reconstruction surgery. About 10 minutes later I heard more than one (non-computer-using) kid declare, "We're not supposed to go on EdHeads!" (Of course that was after I'd tried to get them onto Frog Guts, and failed -- the computers are too slow and too old to handle all the Flash graphics.) I have no idea whether or not there was a ban on EdHeads, but I couldn't see the harm in it.
7) Details on whether or not work is to be turned in, and if so, where. Over the course of the day, we completed a number of assignments. For some, I had directions: turn in. For others, nothing at all, so I assumed the kids should hang onto them. Also include with the lesson plan instructions for whether or not to correct any work before handing it in -- some classes have the kids swap their worksheets with a partner, and then correct them; this saves the teacher a great deal of time down the line, I understand -- but I do need to know if that's something you want me to do.
6) Details on whether a lesson needs to be taught to the whole class, can be tackled by small groups on their own, or whether some subset of the class should be broken out to cover a topic that a lot of kids get on their own. In my experience, given a math assignment, the class, if given a choice, will never choose instruction, preferring to guess on every single answer rather than sitting through instructions. If you ask the class, "Have you studied probabilities before?" Some significant fraction of the class will say "yes" while the rest insist "no," and as a sub, it's nearly impossible to tell one way or another. So "Math journal, pages x and y," is a good start but needs more information, like "They can work on this in small groups," or "They need instruction on these topics before tackling the worksheets."
5) Class rules for seat-changing or special locations. Most classrooms have special places, usually comfy places for reading, that students get to use certain times. Several classrooms I've worked in let one or two, possibly three groups work out in the hall. Rarely, if ever, do teachers let me know what the rules are regarding these special places, which results in ugly competition among the kids to score a good spot for whatever it is they're doing. So, if the rule is "you get to work in the hall once a day," I need to know that. And I also need to know when to open the in-class comfy places, if at all; just tell me the rules so I can enforce them uniformly and keep the kids on-task. Today I had to chase my problem kid out of the rocking chair three times. I had no argument from authority because I didn't know what the rule was.
4) A brief run-down on classroom incentives and disciplinary measures. Some incentives I've seen are "table points" and extra recess minutes, but disciplinary measures have a lot more variety and are often very difficult for a sub to apply. The teacher I subbed for today has a good system when kids go astray; she makes them clean up the schoolyard during recess. But I forgot about that while dealing with my one problem kid, and so ended up imposing my default consequence -- sitting out recess -- instead. But this teacher also has an incentive plan which she mentioned to me, very briefly -- so briefly I didn't know how to use it! How many points would I give to a table, and how often? Maybe the class would've responded to the positive incentive of table points, rather than to the negative incentive of losing recess? It's hard for me to believe at this point that they would've responded to any incentive for very long.
3) Seating charts are a godsend.
2) If any children leave the classroom for special instruction, please tell me who they are, when and for how long they are gone, and where they are going. Do I need to escort them wherever, or just send them? Do I need to pick them up?
1) Absolutely, the most important: if there are any children with learning disabilities or behavioral issues in the classroom, please let me know so I don't have to waste time trying to figure them out. When a child is acting out in class, I need to assess immediately what's happening so I can deal with it. If the acting out is temperamental rather than manipulative, that's going to make a big difference in how I handle it. Also, give a moment's thought to the class dynamic. If you know about any testy relationships that are likely to heat up without policing, please let me know.
My biggest mistake today was getting entangled in the problem kid's arguments against everything. (Seriously, everything -- when DS1 said, at the end of the day, "I've played kickball with you," this kid immediately said, "Nuh-uh, I've never played tetherball with you," which is of course not what DS1 said -- but this kid goes into argument mode automatically.) I like to think that, if I'd had a head's up, I would've known better than to get drawn in the way I was.
On top of that issue, there were a few others, like kids using crude humor or just being obnoxious to each other. These were for the most part harmless if disruptive, but once or twice they threatened to mushroom into something more serious. As a sub it's hard to know when a tiff is going to explode into something much larger, so any advice on danger signs is very, very useful.
What I failed to consider is that the teacher's style is only part of the equation, and that the make-up of the class is another, equally important part. The culture of the class won't just be determined by the teacher, because let's face it, no one has that much control. A lot of it depends on the kids, their capabilities, and their personalities. My biggest problem today was expecting this class to be like my kid's class, and it wasn't.
I ran into a multitude of small issues today, along with one issue -- actually, one child -- that was a constant source of disruption and (I'll admit it) irritation. So here's my list of the top 10 things that full-time teachers should tell their subs, to help avoid the problems I had today. (I didn't include lesson plans; this is the stuff besides lesson plans that subs need to know.)
10) The full names of the teachers and aides that the sub will be interacting with, along with the room numbers where you can expect to find them. Abbreviations don't cut it with subs that are not familiar with all the staff at the school. We have a pretty small school, relatively, but there are still some teachers' and aides' names I don't know. Today, since I don't know who the aide was, I couldn't ask about her whereabouts when she wasn't there to get the kids out to morning recess. So I had to take them out, which was OK but still left me wondering what was up with her.
9) A list of permissable activities for the kids to do when/if they've finished all their work. A recent in-class project involved curling ribbon, and I guess some kids hadn't finished, and so were working on it today. But at least a third of the class was cutting off lengths of curling ribbon at various times, completely independent of any activity. I put the curling ribbon away at least twice, and told the class at least twice "No more curling ribbon today," but apparently the lure of the curling ribbon was impossible to resist.
8) A list of activities the kids should not be doing when/if they've finished all their work. I let some kids use the computer workstations today, and many of them logged in to EdHeads to do virtual knee reconstruction surgery. About 10 minutes later I heard more than one (non-computer-using) kid declare, "We're not supposed to go on EdHeads!" (Of course that was after I'd tried to get them onto Frog Guts, and failed -- the computers are too slow and too old to handle all the Flash graphics.) I have no idea whether or not there was a ban on EdHeads, but I couldn't see the harm in it.
7) Details on whether or not work is to be turned in, and if so, where. Over the course of the day, we completed a number of assignments. For some, I had directions: turn in. For others, nothing at all, so I assumed the kids should hang onto them. Also include with the lesson plan instructions for whether or not to correct any work before handing it in -- some classes have the kids swap their worksheets with a partner, and then correct them; this saves the teacher a great deal of time down the line, I understand -- but I do need to know if that's something you want me to do.
6) Details on whether a lesson needs to be taught to the whole class, can be tackled by small groups on their own, or whether some subset of the class should be broken out to cover a topic that a lot of kids get on their own. In my experience, given a math assignment, the class, if given a choice, will never choose instruction, preferring to guess on every single answer rather than sitting through instructions. If you ask the class, "Have you studied probabilities before?" Some significant fraction of the class will say "yes" while the rest insist "no," and as a sub, it's nearly impossible to tell one way or another. So "Math journal, pages x and y," is a good start but needs more information, like "They can work on this in small groups," or "They need instruction on these topics before tackling the worksheets."
5) Class rules for seat-changing or special locations. Most classrooms have special places, usually comfy places for reading, that students get to use certain times. Several classrooms I've worked in let one or two, possibly three groups work out in the hall. Rarely, if ever, do teachers let me know what the rules are regarding these special places, which results in ugly competition among the kids to score a good spot for whatever it is they're doing. So, if the rule is "you get to work in the hall once a day," I need to know that. And I also need to know when to open the in-class comfy places, if at all; just tell me the rules so I can enforce them uniformly and keep the kids on-task. Today I had to chase my problem kid out of the rocking chair three times. I had no argument from authority because I didn't know what the rule was.
4) A brief run-down on classroom incentives and disciplinary measures. Some incentives I've seen are "table points" and extra recess minutes, but disciplinary measures have a lot more variety and are often very difficult for a sub to apply. The teacher I subbed for today has a good system when kids go astray; she makes them clean up the schoolyard during recess. But I forgot about that while dealing with my one problem kid, and so ended up imposing my default consequence -- sitting out recess -- instead. But this teacher also has an incentive plan which she mentioned to me, very briefly -- so briefly I didn't know how to use it! How many points would I give to a table, and how often? Maybe the class would've responded to the positive incentive of table points, rather than to the negative incentive of losing recess? It's hard for me to believe at this point that they would've responded to any incentive for very long.
3) Seating charts are a godsend.
2) If any children leave the classroom for special instruction, please tell me who they are, when and for how long they are gone, and where they are going. Do I need to escort them wherever, or just send them? Do I need to pick them up?
1) Absolutely, the most important: if there are any children with learning disabilities or behavioral issues in the classroom, please let me know so I don't have to waste time trying to figure them out. When a child is acting out in class, I need to assess immediately what's happening so I can deal with it. If the acting out is temperamental rather than manipulative, that's going to make a big difference in how I handle it. Also, give a moment's thought to the class dynamic. If you know about any testy relationships that are likely to heat up without policing, please let me know.
My biggest mistake today was getting entangled in the problem kid's arguments against everything. (Seriously, everything -- when DS1 said, at the end of the day, "I've played kickball with you," this kid immediately said, "Nuh-uh, I've never played tetherball with you," which is of course not what DS1 said -- but this kid goes into argument mode automatically.) I like to think that, if I'd had a head's up, I would've known better than to get drawn in the way I was.
On top of that issue, there were a few others, like kids using crude humor or just being obnoxious to each other. These were for the most part harmless if disruptive, but once or twice they threatened to mushroom into something more serious. As a sub it's hard to know when a tiff is going to explode into something much larger, so any advice on danger signs is very, very useful.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
all clear
Turns out my sinuses (sinii?) are fine; the problem is with my turbinates. If you know how to read the films, you can see that they're all swollen and that's what's causing my problems.
My ENT recommends turbinate reduction surgery -- which DS1 had last June, with great results -- but I don't have time to get it done before we leave for our vacation. It will have to wait until the fall, or possibly forever. It's an outpatient procedure and one that should contribute to my quality of life, but it's not strictly required, either.
For now I'm hanging in there on a course of Cipro, trying to get rid of the latest round of gunk. I'm hoping I'm not too miserable over the summer, but I'll manage somehow, regardless.
My ENT recommends turbinate reduction surgery -- which DS1 had last June, with great results -- but I don't have time to get it done before we leave for our vacation. It will have to wait until the fall, or possibly forever. It's an outpatient procedure and one that should contribute to my quality of life, but it's not strictly required, either.
For now I'm hanging in there on a course of Cipro, trying to get rid of the latest round of gunk. I'm hoping I'm not too miserable over the summer, but I'll manage somehow, regardless.
dialog du jour
Can you name the speakers?
First Speaker: Is it really so bad?
Second Speaker: No, I'm just a whiner.
----
Speaker the First is DD, who begged me, after dinner but before I'd finished my glass of wine, to spot her at handstand practice. Obviously, I'm the second speaker.
First Speaker: Is it really so bad?
Second Speaker: No, I'm just a whiner.
----
Speaker the First is DD, who begged me, after dinner but before I'd finished my glass of wine, to spot her at handstand practice. Obviously, I'm the second speaker.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
...and we're back!
I discovered a few days ago that my site metrics tools had gone wonky, yet again -- my ISP was moving accounts from an antiquated server to a new one, and mine was among them. This issue brought to the fore once again the fact that my 'net resources were less than ideal, just because I was too lazy to deal with it.
I don't know why -- maybe it's all the new computer equipment surrounding me these days -- but I decided enough was enough with the make-do situation and asked if they could move my account to the new system. They were happy to do it, on the spot and free of charge. They even advised me on a dependable, free FTP gadget: FireFox's FireFTP, which I used to download everything off the old site, and then upload everything onto the new site.
It took a day or so for the DNS names to propagate through the ISP's system so that everything hooked back up properly, and there may have been a file or two that failed to upload, but I'm fairly confident that it's 99% there -- and now I have a backup to recover from if it's not.
Onward & upward...
I don't know why -- maybe it's all the new computer equipment surrounding me these days -- but I decided enough was enough with the make-do situation and asked if they could move my account to the new system. They were happy to do it, on the spot and free of charge. They even advised me on a dependable, free FTP gadget: FireFox's FireFTP, which I used to download everything off the old site, and then upload everything onto the new site.
It took a day or so for the DNS names to propagate through the ISP's system so that everything hooked back up properly, and there may have been a file or two that failed to upload, but I'm fairly confident that it's 99% there -- and now I have a backup to recover from if it's not.
Onward & upward...
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
difficulties
Worked today, subbing in third grade -- not a bad class at all, but not a good day for me, simply because I felt so crummy. It's hard to teach with sinuses full of gunk and a voice that's threatening to give out at any moment.
I survived. Took a nap before dinner, and that helped -- going to the ENT tomorrow with hopes he can get me fixed up soon.
Meanwhile, I notice that Blogger is misbehaving (or perhaps is just on my new, Vista-running computer)... let's see how this post goes.
I survived. Took a nap before dinner, and that helped -- going to the ENT tomorrow with hopes he can get me fixed up soon.
Meanwhile, I notice that Blogger is misbehaving (or perhaps is just on my new, Vista-running computer)... let's see how this post goes.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
adventures in radiology
Hey, I've got a camera! As promised, some pictures of the pictures of inside my head.
Here's slice 22. Don't you think the swirly pattern is pretty? At this level, my maxillary sinuses look nice and clear, I think (again, what do I know? I'm not a doctor...):
Image 22
But a mere 10 slices away, there's a big difference between the left and right:
Image 32
Maybe that's normal; it looks almost like a difference in the bony structure of my face. That doesn't surprise me, because as people go, I'm more asymmetrical than most. (Not that anyone notices.) Of course, that could also be the result of the time my head broke a windshield and my jaw dented a dashboard. I know my jaw was cracked in that accident, and it wouldn't be surprising to learn that my cheekbones were damaged as well. I don't remember my face hurting so much as my jaw, which had a lump on it the size of a small plum, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. I just can't remember it -- it was more than 30 years ago, after all, and if we're not allowed to forget car accidents, what can we forget?
Here's a good introductory page on sinuses and sinusitis.
I called the ENT yesterday to see what was up, and I was on hold for the shortest time ever before the receptionist got back on the line to say, "You need to come in." (I'm pretty sure they called me last week, but the new printer/fax machine had been set, inadvertently, to answer the phone, so anyone who tried to leave a message last week got an earful of fax-screeching.)
I'm going Thursday, and it's not soon enough. My sinuses filled up with gunk again at the end of last week, and I'm feeling distinctly unwell. It's too soon for antibiotics now (it has been less than a week), but it may not be, by Thursday. I am strangely calm about this, mostly because I'm not expecting anything relating to my cancer to have shown up in this scan. I realize I could be wrong about that, but I'm just going to continue along my merry way and pretend we're just looking at the sinuses here, and that whatever it is that's happening, it's not something that requires surgical intervention.
Here's slice 22. Don't you think the swirly pattern is pretty? At this level, my maxillary sinuses look nice and clear, I think (again, what do I know? I'm not a doctor...):
But a mere 10 slices away, there's a big difference between the left and right:
Maybe that's normal; it looks almost like a difference in the bony structure of my face. That doesn't surprise me, because as people go, I'm more asymmetrical than most. (Not that anyone notices.) Of course, that could also be the result of the time my head broke a windshield and my jaw dented a dashboard. I know my jaw was cracked in that accident, and it wouldn't be surprising to learn that my cheekbones were damaged as well. I don't remember my face hurting so much as my jaw, which had a lump on it the size of a small plum, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. I just can't remember it -- it was more than 30 years ago, after all, and if we're not allowed to forget car accidents, what can we forget?
Here's a good introductory page on sinuses and sinusitis.
I called the ENT yesterday to see what was up, and I was on hold for the shortest time ever before the receptionist got back on the line to say, "You need to come in." (I'm pretty sure they called me last week, but the new printer/fax machine had been set, inadvertently, to answer the phone, so anyone who tried to leave a message last week got an earful of fax-screeching.)
I'm going Thursday, and it's not soon enough. My sinuses filled up with gunk again at the end of last week, and I'm feeling distinctly unwell. It's too soon for antibiotics now (it has been less than a week), but it may not be, by Thursday. I am strangely calm about this, mostly because I'm not expecting anything relating to my cancer to have shown up in this scan. I realize I could be wrong about that, but I'm just going to continue along my merry way and pretend we're just looking at the sinuses here, and that whatever it is that's happening, it's not something that requires surgical intervention.
Friday, May 04, 2007
new & improved
1. Buy 1/2-inch plastic tubing at Home Depot
2. Measure against length of all cables cats like to chew on, which is basically all cables, and cut
3. Using a sharp scissor, cut the tubing along one side, the entire length of the tube
4. Slide/work the cable into the slit, then attach to computer/peripheral as usual
5. Rest easy knowing your cat will not electrocute itself, nor will it wreak havoc on your net connection, by chewing through crucial wiring
All the new hardware arrived yesterday (well, Wednesday). Setup began yesterday after the kids got home from school and finally finished today -- mostly.
We ended up needing to get a new router. (I bought this one on the recommendation of the very nice tech support lady, who sadly informed me that my old (ancient!) 802.11b router would simply not work under Windows Vista. Considering the contortions I went through to get it to work with Windows XP, I was not surprised.
Lucky for me, by that time, all the stores were closed, so I had to wait until today to pick up the new router and get everything configured, and to finish setting up the new printer as well. (It really was lucky, too, because otherwise I would've been up till 3AM tinkering -- as it was, I had to give up and go to bed, just like I should now.)
I just a few moments ago finished restoring my iTunes libarary from my iPod; I used this nifty utility called CopyTrans (along with its companion utility, CopyPhoto), to get everything off the iPod back onto the PC. Considering I had close to 5,000 songs and nearly a hundred photos on that thing, it was well worth it to shell out the cash for the program to do the copying for me -- having to load in those hundreds of CDs again just would've crushed me.
So far Windows Vista is OK: very slow at startup, but otherwise fine. We're slowly but surely getting everything installed and back to "normal". I ran into the MS Office 2003 persistent EULA problem, but that was an easy fix (at least for me, since I don't mind editing a registry entry if I must.)
Possibly the coolest thing was booting up the laptop and having it be able to access the network through the new router with no intervention on my part -- now I just have to figure out how to get the Vista PCs to be able to grab files off the laptop, which is still running Windows 98, and I'll be cooking with gas. There are dozens of photos on there, not to mention the last 10 days worth of email that I'd like to move to the new computer without resorting to ftp -- it may yet come to that, believe me.
This evening I set up the mail accounts in Outlook again, along with the sorting rules, and we'll just see how that goes. There are all these little odd things that go on that make doing things like that take way longer than they should. But it's working now!
I can't believe how much time this has sucked out of my life, all this ordering and unpacking and setting up (and setting up, and setting up, and setting up again) of new computers and other equipment. The house is trashed, old hardware is piled on various surfaces, while new manuals and discs and extra cables are all over the place as well. There's a huge stack of boxes the cats have been enjoying tremendously, too. This weekend will be a cleaning weekend for sure.
Meanwhile, my new/replacement camera is due tomorrow: yay! Setting it up will require nothing more than putting in the batteries and the memory card, and setting the date and time -- my hands need a break from working with that vinyl tubing.
For now, we're done.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
jinxed
I lost a diamond stud earring yesterday, and it has really thrown me for a loop. I was so upset about it last night I did that almost-crying thing for a good 30 seconds, and then I spent the rest of the night feeling horribly grumpy and fighting with myself not to yell at the kids.
Is this just an inevitable reaction to the break-in last week, with the lost earring being the trigger? Or was yesterday just an exceptionally stressful day, with losing the earring the final touch that set me off?
The morning started very early as I hauled myself out of bed at 5:45 to take DS1 to his final physical therapy session. DH would normally take him, but as this was his final session, I wanted to get instructions from the therapist on the exercises he should continue to do at home. His appointment was at 7AM, so I had to get him up, breakfasted, and out the door by 6:45, which we managed OK.
I got him to school on time, and stopped in to talk briefly with the teacher I subbed for all last week, and that was OK -- I had spent a couple of hours writing up my notes (4 pages, single spaced!) on Saturday night, and sent them to her via email. We were chatting about things when DH called me: he needed his car! Oops -- I forgot that I had it, and in retrospect, I'm not sure at all why I took his car and not my own. Just one odd decision among many on this day.
Got home, got my breakfast, and waited for Mom to call. She wanted me to take a look at her lab results, mailed to her without comment by her new kidney doctor. She read me all the stats over the phone, and from what I had already read, it seemed to me that 1) her kidneys are failing but 2) she doesn't need dialysis yet, just based on her Creatinine level. I was surprised that there was no mention of GFR, which is typically the key number used to determine the stage of kidney failure. Mom said she would call the kidney doctor to ask about her results, because she knows they're not good and it's just odd that the doctor sent them back to her without scheduling any kind of a follow-up appointment.
After we rang off, I did some web-crawling and was surprised (I don't know why I was surprised, I just was) to find several GFR calculators online. I used three different calculators, and every one of them said Mom's at stage 3, where there is moderate damage and the treatment goals are to control the conditions that cause further damage to the kidneys, as well as therapies to ameliorate anemia (which Mom also has) and bone loss, which are common at this stage. Then I agonized over whether or not to call my Mom back and say this to her, but I decided not to. When we talked I had already impressed upon her that her labs were out of whack enough that she shouldn't just let it go until the doctor called her. (Later in the day, I talked to one of my sisters and gave her the update; she'll check in with Mom this week and find out if she called the doctor and what is to be done.)
After that, I went over to TMC to have my head scanned to see what's going on with my sinuses. I spent more time in the waiting room than I did under the scanner; the whole thing took about 10 minutes. The worst was when I had to lie on my stomach and rest my chin on a little platform, tilting my head back to look up as far as I could. Thank goodness that was only for a few minutes, because it was a position designed to aggravate my TMD. The last thing you want to do when you have problems with your jaw muscles clenching too much is have to lean on your chin like that.
And this is where I lost the earring. I forgot I had them on (more muddled thinking on my part), I had meant to leave them at home since I knew I would have to take them off for the scan and I didn't want to lose them. I've already lost one pair of diamond stud earrings, and that made me feel bad enough.
But still, there I was with the earrings and needing to be scanned, so I took them off and put them in my pants pocket. The front pocket. The one I tuck everything -- keys, cell-phone, receipts -- into, when I don't feel like dealing with my purse. And after the scan, I completely forgot about them, so there they stayed, all day, until I realized at about 4:30 that I had forgotten to put them back on. When I reached into my pocket to fish them out, I could only find one. Aaaauuuggghhhh!
Where could I have lost it?
Let's see, after the scan I met DH at Dilly's Deli for lunch, and had my cellphone in that pocket, then out of that pocket. I tucked my receipt for lunch into that pocket, too.
After lunch, I went home for a while. I have a copy of my CT films and decided to play at doctor: radiologist, and looked at them all. Going strictly on the idea that things inside the front of your head are supposed to be symmetrical, I can definitely say there's stuff going on there in my sinuses that is not typical. Whether or not there is anything technically wrong I can't tell, of course, but even I can see the huge differences between left and right sides. (When I get my camera, I'll post some of the cooler looking images.) I don't feel particularly stressed about the sinus stuff -- nor about Mom's situation -- but I think that's just me not letting myself flip out, because I know there's no point. But these are still big stresses.
Then I went up to the Catholic Book and Gift Store in Tempe to find going away things for my RE class, as last night was our last class. I had my car key in that pocket.
Then I went to Trader Joe's, and I had my keys in and out of the pocket, and when my keys weren't in there, the cell phone was.
Then I got the kids from school, came home, put the groceries away, went out again to the supermarket to get snacks for tonight's class parties (four parties, one grocery cart embarrassingly full of junk food). Came home, puttered around for a while, got ready to go to RE, and realized I'd lost my earring.
No time to look for it, either -- out the door, drive about a mile, realize I'd forgotten the going-away gifts, came home, went back, had class, came home, made dinner, and got the kids in bed.
Then I looked for the earring in my purse -- it might have moved in there with a receipt -- in the car, on the floor in the garage. No luck. The kitchen counter and the desk were a mess, the result of about 4 days accretion of stuff. No one could find anything; DD spent 5 minutes looking for the key to turn her expander, it had become so buried.
To top it all off, when I checked my email after getting the kids in bed, I had a message from the teacher I subbed for last week, asking me about an incident that I had decided not to report. I spent about an hour writing and re-writing an account of the incident and why I handled it the way I did and why I did not do what I didn't do. In the end, I felt very muddled about the whole situation -- stay tuned for more blogging.
I ended up staying up too late 1) feeling very upset 2) deciding to get over it 3) doing my PT exercises (they help, at least physically) 4) cleaning off the desk and countertop and 5) falling asleep in front of the TV.
Now I'm just miserable, but there's a lot going on and I'm tired of having a computer that is too slow to run video on (seriously), and I'm very sad about losing about 10 years worth of email correspondence (seriously), and the new stuff isn't getting here fast enough to take the edge of that sadness.
Mostly I'm upset that I've managed to lose another diamond stud earring. The first pair disappeared in the aftermath of my neck dissection surgery in Houston; my ear was numb and I couldn't wear the earrings, so I put them... somewhere to take home -- at least I think I did -- but they never made it home. It may be that I left them in the safe in the hotel room, but by the time I realized I didn't know where they were, weeks later, it was way too late to do anything about it. DH got me new ones for Christmas, and I wore them nearly every day.
It's just a thing, a kind of expensive thing, and not that big a deal, I know. I'm pretty sure DH can't figure out why I'm so upset about this. I think I wouldn't care as much if I hadn't already lost a pair. I'm starting to feel like I have an earring jinx. In the past month I lost one of my favorite opal studs, too -- but that one mystifies me. One of them is in the small dish where I keep my earrings, the other has just... disappeared. I have no idea what happened to it.
Now I'm considering wearing the opal in one ear and the diamond in the other. Eclectic, or weird? Just making do with what I've got left.
Is this just an inevitable reaction to the break-in last week, with the lost earring being the trigger? Or was yesterday just an exceptionally stressful day, with losing the earring the final touch that set me off?
The morning started very early as I hauled myself out of bed at 5:45 to take DS1 to his final physical therapy session. DH would normally take him, but as this was his final session, I wanted to get instructions from the therapist on the exercises he should continue to do at home. His appointment was at 7AM, so I had to get him up, breakfasted, and out the door by 6:45, which we managed OK.
I got him to school on time, and stopped in to talk briefly with the teacher I subbed for all last week, and that was OK -- I had spent a couple of hours writing up my notes (4 pages, single spaced!) on Saturday night, and sent them to her via email. We were chatting about things when DH called me: he needed his car! Oops -- I forgot that I had it, and in retrospect, I'm not sure at all why I took his car and not my own. Just one odd decision among many on this day.
Got home, got my breakfast, and waited for Mom to call. She wanted me to take a look at her lab results, mailed to her without comment by her new kidney doctor. She read me all the stats over the phone, and from what I had already read, it seemed to me that 1) her kidneys are failing but 2) she doesn't need dialysis yet, just based on her Creatinine level. I was surprised that there was no mention of GFR, which is typically the key number used to determine the stage of kidney failure. Mom said she would call the kidney doctor to ask about her results, because she knows they're not good and it's just odd that the doctor sent them back to her without scheduling any kind of a follow-up appointment.
After we rang off, I did some web-crawling and was surprised (I don't know why I was surprised, I just was) to find several GFR calculators online. I used three different calculators, and every one of them said Mom's at stage 3, where there is moderate damage and the treatment goals are to control the conditions that cause further damage to the kidneys, as well as therapies to ameliorate anemia (which Mom also has) and bone loss, which are common at this stage. Then I agonized over whether or not to call my Mom back and say this to her, but I decided not to. When we talked I had already impressed upon her that her labs were out of whack enough that she shouldn't just let it go until the doctor called her. (Later in the day, I talked to one of my sisters and gave her the update; she'll check in with Mom this week and find out if she called the doctor and what is to be done.)
After that, I went over to TMC to have my head scanned to see what's going on with my sinuses. I spent more time in the waiting room than I did under the scanner; the whole thing took about 10 minutes. The worst was when I had to lie on my stomach and rest my chin on a little platform, tilting my head back to look up as far as I could. Thank goodness that was only for a few minutes, because it was a position designed to aggravate my TMD. The last thing you want to do when you have problems with your jaw muscles clenching too much is have to lean on your chin like that.
And this is where I lost the earring. I forgot I had them on (more muddled thinking on my part), I had meant to leave them at home since I knew I would have to take them off for the scan and I didn't want to lose them. I've already lost one pair of diamond stud earrings, and that made me feel bad enough.
But still, there I was with the earrings and needing to be scanned, so I took them off and put them in my pants pocket. The front pocket. The one I tuck everything -- keys, cell-phone, receipts -- into, when I don't feel like dealing with my purse. And after the scan, I completely forgot about them, so there they stayed, all day, until I realized at about 4:30 that I had forgotten to put them back on. When I reached into my pocket to fish them out, I could only find one. Aaaauuuggghhhh!
Where could I have lost it?
Let's see, after the scan I met DH at Dilly's Deli for lunch, and had my cellphone in that pocket, then out of that pocket. I tucked my receipt for lunch into that pocket, too.
After lunch, I went home for a while. I have a copy of my CT films and decided to play at doctor: radiologist, and looked at them all. Going strictly on the idea that things inside the front of your head are supposed to be symmetrical, I can definitely say there's stuff going on there in my sinuses that is not typical. Whether or not there is anything technically wrong I can't tell, of course, but even I can see the huge differences between left and right sides. (When I get my camera, I'll post some of the cooler looking images.) I don't feel particularly stressed about the sinus stuff -- nor about Mom's situation -- but I think that's just me not letting myself flip out, because I know there's no point. But these are still big stresses.
Then I went up to the Catholic Book and Gift Store in Tempe to find going away things for my RE class, as last night was our last class. I had my car key in that pocket.
Then I went to Trader Joe's, and I had my keys in and out of the pocket, and when my keys weren't in there, the cell phone was.
Then I got the kids from school, came home, put the groceries away, went out again to the supermarket to get snacks for tonight's class parties (four parties, one grocery cart embarrassingly full of junk food). Came home, puttered around for a while, got ready to go to RE, and realized I'd lost my earring.
No time to look for it, either -- out the door, drive about a mile, realize I'd forgotten the going-away gifts, came home, went back, had class, came home, made dinner, and got the kids in bed.
Then I looked for the earring in my purse -- it might have moved in there with a receipt -- in the car, on the floor in the garage. No luck. The kitchen counter and the desk were a mess, the result of about 4 days accretion of stuff. No one could find anything; DD spent 5 minutes looking for the key to turn her expander, it had become so buried.
To top it all off, when I checked my email after getting the kids in bed, I had a message from the teacher I subbed for last week, asking me about an incident that I had decided not to report. I spent about an hour writing and re-writing an account of the incident and why I handled it the way I did and why I did not do what I didn't do. In the end, I felt very muddled about the whole situation -- stay tuned for more blogging.
I ended up staying up too late 1) feeling very upset 2) deciding to get over it 3) doing my PT exercises (they help, at least physically) 4) cleaning off the desk and countertop and 5) falling asleep in front of the TV.
Now I'm just miserable, but there's a lot going on and I'm tired of having a computer that is too slow to run video on (seriously), and I'm very sad about losing about 10 years worth of email correspondence (seriously), and the new stuff isn't getting here fast enough to take the edge of that sadness.
Mostly I'm upset that I've managed to lose another diamond stud earring. The first pair disappeared in the aftermath of my neck dissection surgery in Houston; my ear was numb and I couldn't wear the earrings, so I put them... somewhere to take home -- at least I think I did -- but they never made it home. It may be that I left them in the safe in the hotel room, but by the time I realized I didn't know where they were, weeks later, it was way too late to do anything about it. DH got me new ones for Christmas, and I wore them nearly every day.
It's just a thing, a kind of expensive thing, and not that big a deal, I know. I'm pretty sure DH can't figure out why I'm so upset about this. I think I wouldn't care as much if I hadn't already lost a pair. I'm starting to feel like I have an earring jinx. In the past month I lost one of my favorite opal studs, too -- but that one mystifies me. One of them is in the small dish where I keep my earrings, the other has just... disappeared. I have no idea what happened to it.
Now I'm considering wearing the opal in one ear and the diamond in the other. Eclectic, or weird? Just making do with what I've got left.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
weaning
In retrospect, this weekend may not have been the best time to experiment with coming off the Aleve.
(ow)
(ow)
what does it say about me...
... that I don't feel violated?
Two things invariably happen whenever someone hears about the robbery:
1. They relate their similar experience(s);
2. They commiserate with how horrible I must feel, how vulnerable I must be now, because they remember that they felt violated -- every single person.
Well, I don't feel violated. My house was broken into, some stuff was stolen. I'm disgusted that I let it happen.
We lost an entire afternoon and evening to police procedures, clean up (that was quick) and insuring that our financial data was secure. We've had to spend more time re-purchasing the things we lost. DH has made a major time investment by taking this opportunity to switch the way his company does its payroll, but that's coincidental.
I am not torturing myself wondering why this happened. Someone was obviously watching the house. It could have been someone from the painter's crew, or a friend of someone on the painter's crew. It could've been someone working on the new park down the street. It could've been random thugs. I don't know, and I don't care. The reason it happened is quite simple:
We were stupid.
How stupid were we? Let me list the ways:
1. We've had an ADT security system in this house since the day we moved in. I cannot recall the last time we regularly set the alarm when we were coming or going. Did you get that? We had an alarm system, but we didn't use it. (We use it religiously now.)
2. For the longest time -- right up until we had the house painted, as a matter of fact, we had an "ADT Security" sign in our front yard. It was recently destroyed (I'm unclear how that happened), and even though we had an extra in our garage, we never put it out. So -- no sign, and an un-armed security system, a great combination!
3. We have a huge (8'x12') sliding glass door to our backyard. It had a flimsy lock on it. There was no security bar.
So you see: we were stupid, because we didn't do the things we knew we should have been doing to protect ourselves.
That explains why I'm annoyed with myself -- if you're going to be la-di-da and naive, the world will come along with a corrective eventually. As correctives go, this one was really not that bad. I'm bummed about the loss of my digital photos, but it's not the end of the world.
The reason I don't feel violated is because I know this attack was not personal. I, personally, was not attacked. My house was robbed. Sadly, I have a lot of experience with this type of thing.
When I was 9, my parents built a house on Cape Cod. We used it for weekends and vacations, and I can't tell you the number of times that house was broken into. Apparently, breaking and entering was an accepted way to pass the time in the off-season months. They would drink the liquor, scrounge for food, and take whatever cash they could find. I had my piggy bank stolen at least once. One time, my brother and his wife wanted to use the house for a week's vacation, and got there to find that every single window had been broken.
The summer I turned 13, we moved into that house year-round. One day I was coming home from school, alone -- Dad was still working up in Boston, and mom was out with my brother (I think), and I put my key in the lock and pushed it in, but before I could turn it, the door opened. I knew something was up, and walked in (stupidly, but I was clueless) saying, "Hello?" I heard footsteps downstairs and then the back door (also downstairs) slamming shut.
Mom got home shortly thereafter and figured out that I had surprised whoever it was by showing up. They must have figured the house was empty since there weren't any cars out front. I know my mom was freaked out by the "what ifs", but I don't remember being freaked out then -- I was entirely too sheltered, and had no idea what could've happened to me. Seriously, I couldn't figure out why my mother was so upset.
(My mom has an ADT system, too.)
Later I found out who broke all the windows and I was really upset -- kids I knew from school, not well, but still. This was months (if not years) after the fact, so there wasn't anything to be done about it. I still remember the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, and Lynn's voice saying, "Well, they didn't know it was your house," as if that made it OK. Idiots.
After your house has been vandalized -- repeatedly -- you realize that it's not personal. You take stock of what's missing, you clean up the mess, you move on. There are bad people in the world, or, if you prefer, people who do bad things to others. Sometimes you may be at the receiving end of such a bad thing. There are things you can do to minimize that risk, but even doing everything you can, there's no guarantee that bad things aren't going to happen to you some day.
I don't feel fearful, but I am more cautious now. I set the alarm. I look the house over as we approach. These are things I should've been doing all along, but this is a nice neighborhood, and we have a very low crime rate around here (obviously not low enough...) Both DH and I fell into a state of complacency.
You can't be complacent about who or what you love. As I said before, sooner or later, the world will come along with a corrective, and we got ours. Lesson learned, no psychological violation required.
Two things invariably happen whenever someone hears about the robbery:
1. They relate their similar experience(s);
2. They commiserate with how horrible I must feel, how vulnerable I must be now, because they remember that they felt violated -- every single person.
Well, I don't feel violated. My house was broken into, some stuff was stolen. I'm disgusted that I let it happen.
We lost an entire afternoon and evening to police procedures, clean up (that was quick) and insuring that our financial data was secure. We've had to spend more time re-purchasing the things we lost. DH has made a major time investment by taking this opportunity to switch the way his company does its payroll, but that's coincidental.
I am not torturing myself wondering why this happened. Someone was obviously watching the house. It could have been someone from the painter's crew, or a friend of someone on the painter's crew. It could've been someone working on the new park down the street. It could've been random thugs. I don't know, and I don't care. The reason it happened is quite simple:
We were stupid.
How stupid were we? Let me list the ways:
1. We've had an ADT security system in this house since the day we moved in. I cannot recall the last time we regularly set the alarm when we were coming or going. Did you get that? We had an alarm system, but we didn't use it. (We use it religiously now.)
2. For the longest time -- right up until we had the house painted, as a matter of fact, we had an "ADT Security" sign in our front yard. It was recently destroyed (I'm unclear how that happened), and even though we had an extra in our garage, we never put it out. So -- no sign, and an un-armed security system, a great combination!
3. We have a huge (8'x12') sliding glass door to our backyard. It had a flimsy lock on it. There was no security bar.
So you see: we were stupid, because we didn't do the things we knew we should have been doing to protect ourselves.
That explains why I'm annoyed with myself -- if you're going to be la-di-da and naive, the world will come along with a corrective eventually. As correctives go, this one was really not that bad. I'm bummed about the loss of my digital photos, but it's not the end of the world.
The reason I don't feel violated is because I know this attack was not personal. I, personally, was not attacked. My house was robbed. Sadly, I have a lot of experience with this type of thing.
When I was 9, my parents built a house on Cape Cod. We used it for weekends and vacations, and I can't tell you the number of times that house was broken into. Apparently, breaking and entering was an accepted way to pass the time in the off-season months. They would drink the liquor, scrounge for food, and take whatever cash they could find. I had my piggy bank stolen at least once. One time, my brother and his wife wanted to use the house for a week's vacation, and got there to find that every single window had been broken.
The summer I turned 13, we moved into that house year-round. One day I was coming home from school, alone -- Dad was still working up in Boston, and mom was out with my brother (I think), and I put my key in the lock and pushed it in, but before I could turn it, the door opened. I knew something was up, and walked in (stupidly, but I was clueless) saying, "Hello?" I heard footsteps downstairs and then the back door (also downstairs) slamming shut.
Mom got home shortly thereafter and figured out that I had surprised whoever it was by showing up. They must have figured the house was empty since there weren't any cars out front. I know my mom was freaked out by the "what ifs", but I don't remember being freaked out then -- I was entirely too sheltered, and had no idea what could've happened to me. Seriously, I couldn't figure out why my mother was so upset.
(My mom has an ADT system, too.)
Later I found out who broke all the windows and I was really upset -- kids I knew from school, not well, but still. This was months (if not years) after the fact, so there wasn't anything to be done about it. I still remember the horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, and Lynn's voice saying, "Well, they didn't know it was your house," as if that made it OK. Idiots.
After your house has been vandalized -- repeatedly -- you realize that it's not personal. You take stock of what's missing, you clean up the mess, you move on. There are bad people in the world, or, if you prefer, people who do bad things to others. Sometimes you may be at the receiving end of such a bad thing. There are things you can do to minimize that risk, but even doing everything you can, there's no guarantee that bad things aren't going to happen to you some day.
I don't feel fearful, but I am more cautious now. I set the alarm. I look the house over as we approach. These are things I should've been doing all along, but this is a nice neighborhood, and we have a very low crime rate around here (obviously not low enough...) Both DH and I fell into a state of complacency.
You can't be complacent about who or what you love. As I said before, sooner or later, the world will come along with a corrective, and we got ours. Lesson learned, no psychological violation required.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Mrs. H's class rules (life rules)
I posted these rules today for the first graders I'm substitute teaching. I'm thinking of having a poster made up and laminating it so I can use it whenever I'm subbing.
1. Be Kind
We spend all day in class together. Use good manners and be nice, so our class will be a pleasant place to be.
2. Do your own work.
Do not worry about what others are doing, or not doing. You are only responsible for YOU. If you look for trouble, it will probably find you.
3. No Freaking Out
a) Breathe
b) Stop and think.
c) Find a solution to the problem. Ask for help if you need it.
d) Move on! Get over it, get on with your day.
4. Never lie on the floor.
Someone will step on you, sooner or later.
5. Don't touch the bell.
(unless Mrs. H has given you permission.)
6. If someone is bothering you...
a) Ask them to stop. They may not realize they're annoying you.
b) If they don't stop, move away from them.
If they follow you, or you can't move away, then
c) Get help from a grown-up.
The teacher has a poster up with reporting rules that are very similar to what I taught my own kids (an inexact paraphrase, but you get the gist):
Tell someone if
1. Someone is hurt;
2. Someone is in trouble or danger;
3. Property is being damaged;
Otherwise, work it out yourself, because I don't need to hear it, and I don't want to hear it.
At the beginning of the week, many of the kids were in each others' business, and there was a lot of tattling going on. Whenever one of the kids had an issue, an audience would gather and work would grind to a halt. Now, I'm seeing kids keep on task and pay attention to their own work, and when issues flare up, most keep on with what they were doing before. In just a few days, these lessons can make a dramatic impact if they're explained and consistently enforced. It's cool.
I'm thinking about adding this one:
It's not about YOU.
No one else spends nearly as much time thinking about you as you do. Before you accuse someone of wronging you, think about that. Chances are, whatever they did had nothing to do with you, you just happened to be in the way.
Of course, they're still responsible if they hurt you, but being hurt by accident is a lot different from being hurt on purpose.
You'd be amazed how many accusations fly across a first-grade classroom over the course of the day -- but I've seen similar paranoia among (supposedly) grown men and women. Sadly, this last rule may be the most important of all.
1. Be Kind
We spend all day in class together. Use good manners and be nice, so our class will be a pleasant place to be.
2. Do your own work.
Do not worry about what others are doing, or not doing. You are only responsible for YOU. If you look for trouble, it will probably find you.
3. No Freaking Out
a) Breathe
b) Stop and think.
c) Find a solution to the problem. Ask for help if you need it.
d) Move on! Get over it, get on with your day.
4. Never lie on the floor.
Someone will step on you, sooner or later.
5. Don't touch the bell.
(unless Mrs. H has given you permission.)
6. If someone is bothering you...
a) Ask them to stop. They may not realize they're annoying you.
b) If they don't stop, move away from them.
If they follow you, or you can't move away, then
c) Get help from a grown-up.
The teacher has a poster up with reporting rules that are very similar to what I taught my own kids (an inexact paraphrase, but you get the gist):
Tell someone if
1. Someone is hurt;
2. Someone is in trouble or danger;
3. Property is being damaged;
Otherwise, work it out yourself, because I don't need to hear it, and I don't want to hear it.
At the beginning of the week, many of the kids were in each others' business, and there was a lot of tattling going on. Whenever one of the kids had an issue, an audience would gather and work would grind to a halt. Now, I'm seeing kids keep on task and pay attention to their own work, and when issues flare up, most keep on with what they were doing before. In just a few days, these lessons can make a dramatic impact if they're explained and consistently enforced. It's cool.
I'm thinking about adding this one:
It's not about YOU.
No one else spends nearly as much time thinking about you as you do. Before you accuse someone of wronging you, think about that. Chances are, whatever they did had nothing to do with you, you just happened to be in the way.
Of course, they're still responsible if they hurt you, but being hurt by accident is a lot different from being hurt on purpose.
You'd be amazed how many accusations fly across a first-grade classroom over the course of the day -- but I've seen similar paranoia among (supposedly) grown men and women. Sadly, this last rule may be the most important of all.
observation: I can never be a full-time teacher
I'm subbing all week for a first-grade class that is quite small (17 kids), but has three challenging boys. Their regular teacher is super organized and left truly exquisite lesson plans for me -- she worked very hard to prepare for her absence, and I am very grateful for that.
That said, she has me working harder than I have ever had to, as a substitute teacher, before. (I've worked plenty hard in several previous work environments.) I have to keep track of homework and assignments and hand out all sorts of stuff, including behavior incentives like points and stickers. It's a tremendous amount to keep track of, especially on top of managing the kids who basically resist being managed.
Surprisingly, I'm not having too much trouble with those three boys. At heart they're all quite sweet, they just don't deal with the world the way everyone else does, and I have a lot of experience with boys like that from my own DS1. Not that he ever was troublesome in school on a regular basis (just the occasional meltdown), but still -- I cut my parenting teeth dealing with a very stubborn, very smart little boy, so these boys are honestly nothing new to me. I think if I had longer to work with them, I could help them -- their regular teacher is the super-strict, yells-alot kind (apparently, I've never witnessed her in class) and with these guys, I can tell that is totally the wrong approach -- a bad fit. But sometimes you get a bad fit between teachers and students, and you just need to tough it out.
I only have one more day with this class, and I will miss all of them, really -- except one, and this one child taught me that I should never be a full-time teacher. I can't stand this kid. There are certain personality types that set my teeth on edge, and the one that constantly demands to be the center of attention, and manipulates others to make sure that is always so, is pretty close to the top of my list. Another thing that gets me is the blank stare in lieu of an answer to a serious question -- a tactic which involves ignoring inconvenient facts and feigning either ignorance or inattention when I know neither is applicable. Aaauuugghhh!
You know it's bound to happen that you get a kid that you find insufferable in your class. And I'm sure I could learn to deal with that, with practice. But I don't want to! And since I'm just a sub, I can grit my teeth and make it through the day, or week, or however long, knowing that this detestable person is not my ultimate responsibility.
Thank God.
That said, she has me working harder than I have ever had to, as a substitute teacher, before. (I've worked plenty hard in several previous work environments.) I have to keep track of homework and assignments and hand out all sorts of stuff, including behavior incentives like points and stickers. It's a tremendous amount to keep track of, especially on top of managing the kids who basically resist being managed.
Surprisingly, I'm not having too much trouble with those three boys. At heart they're all quite sweet, they just don't deal with the world the way everyone else does, and I have a lot of experience with boys like that from my own DS1. Not that he ever was troublesome in school on a regular basis (just the occasional meltdown), but still -- I cut my parenting teeth dealing with a very stubborn, very smart little boy, so these boys are honestly nothing new to me. I think if I had longer to work with them, I could help them -- their regular teacher is the super-strict, yells-alot kind (apparently, I've never witnessed her in class) and with these guys, I can tell that is totally the wrong approach -- a bad fit. But sometimes you get a bad fit between teachers and students, and you just need to tough it out.
I only have one more day with this class, and I will miss all of them, really -- except one, and this one child taught me that I should never be a full-time teacher. I can't stand this kid. There are certain personality types that set my teeth on edge, and the one that constantly demands to be the center of attention, and manipulates others to make sure that is always so, is pretty close to the top of my list. Another thing that gets me is the blank stare in lieu of an answer to a serious question -- a tactic which involves ignoring inconvenient facts and feigning either ignorance or inattention when I know neither is applicable. Aaauuugghhh!
You know it's bound to happen that you get a kid that you find insufferable in your class. And I'm sure I could learn to deal with that, with practice. But I don't want to! And since I'm just a sub, I can grit my teeth and make it through the day, or week, or however long, knowing that this detestable person is not my ultimate responsibility.
Thank God.
limping along
Actually, in Real Life, it's more like galloping from commitment to commitment, whereas in the online world, I'm making do with a laptop purchased when I was pregnant with DS2. He's six years old; I believe that this machine -- still running Windows 98 -- qualifies for antique status in some jurisdictions. It works, but the keyboard has that old-fashioned laptop weirdly compressed layout, which insures that I invariably hit the FCN key instead of the CTRL key, or the PgUp key instead of the Backspace.
Man, it's annoying.
However, a glimmer of hope on the horizon: we ordered our new computers today, and they should arrive, along with a spiffy new printer, early in the 2nd week of May. I can survive that long.
Man, it's annoying.
However, a glimmer of hope on the horizon: we ordered our new computers today, and they should arrive, along with a spiffy new printer, early in the 2nd week of May. I can survive that long.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
too short
I got my hair cut today, and in fit of what? inspiration? maybe -- I said, "let's go short this time." I am so over my self-consciousness over my neck scar, and my long, long hair has been weighing me down -- so off it went.
I'd post a photo, but I don't have a camera anymore. Also, I'm not sure how I could connect a camera to this old tank of a laptop, anyway.
So, the hair is longer in front and very short in the back, many layers -- the front layers land just under my chin. My stylist spent about 20 minutes (at least) with the flat iron getting it to look this way. Everyone loved it.
The real question is, how is it going to look when I do it? I should've remembered that short hair is a lot more work than long hair...
The thing about hair: it grows back. Too-short now will be perfect in a few weeks.
I'd post a photo, but I don't have a camera anymore. Also, I'm not sure how I could connect a camera to this old tank of a laptop, anyway.
So, the hair is longer in front and very short in the back, many layers -- the front layers land just under my chin. My stylist spent about 20 minutes (at least) with the flat iron getting it to look this way. Everyone loved it.
The real question is, how is it going to look when I do it? I should've remembered that short hair is a lot more work than long hair...
The thing about hair: it grows back. Too-short now will be perfect in a few weeks.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
horror story
I spent the day with DS2’s class on a field trip to see The Wizard of Oz. It was a cute production and we had fun, and we didn’t get back to the school until after 2. I decided to hang around for the rest of the day, even though I was looking forward to just relaxing once we got home.
That was not to be. As soon as I drove up to the house, I knew something was wrong; the gate was open, and there was no reason it should be. I told the kids to wait in the car while I checked out the house. As soon as I opened the door into the house, I knew it would be bad: every light was on, every door was open. Various stuff was all over the floor, and the back door was wide open. Both cats were hanging out on the patio, Alice unperturbed, but Cooper looking spooked.
I grabbed the phone to call DH – do I call 911 or a different number? – and I tried to scoot the cats inside. Alice came willingly, but Cooper freaked out and ran around the house. I was terrified because the gate was open, and the last thing I wanted was for him to dash out into the street to get pancaked. I tore around him and closed the gate, and that was enough for him to wheel around and dash into the house.
So the cats were safe, and I got a hold of DH, and he said to call 911, so I went out to the car and told the kids what was up, and we waited for the police to come. While we waited, they got a bit scared so I took them over to our neighbors to wait it out; thank God she was home and said of course she would look after them. It was a relief not to have to worry about them while waiting for the police.
The officers came in short order, and went in to make sure the house was empty (the 911 operator made it clear to me I should get out of the house and stay out until the police had made sure that the thieves were gone.) Lots of blah-blah-blah with the officers, then waiting and waiting for the forensics unit to show up, then trying to figure out what surfaces might have good prints. The forensics officer noticed they had forced open the back door, which was something of a relief: at least we hadn’t left the house unlocked.
We had to list the things we’d noticed missing for the police, and assign approximate values. At this point, we had realized that both the ‘real’ computers were gone, as well as DS1’s PS2 – with his favorite Lego Star Wars game -- it may have been Lego Star Wars 2, actually -- and memory card with all his adventures on it – plus my digital camera, and the odd incidental: DS1’s really nice Eddie Bauer duffle bag. Bizarre.
Then started the long list of phone calls, the trip to the bank to close all our accounts and re-open new ones, the call to HP to try and reconstruct our computer configurations (and how much we paid for them), and every so often, the realization that something else was lost: the vast majority of our digital photos, my entire recipe database, and God knows how much of my website source and Farscape writing (ironically, I just assured Ross that I still had everything instantly available – man, I hope that’s still true. I know I have a backup around here somewhere, but I don’t know what format it’s in; have to find it.)
I’ve opened a claim with our insurance, and will be contacted by an adjuster in the next 2 days to figure it out.
If you’re wondering how this blog post is possible, the idiots who disrupted our lives, and took two hard-to-tote computers, completely overlooked the laptop that was sitting next to them. It’s about seven years old and running Windows 98, and it doesn’t even have an Ethernet connection – but by some weirdness, the wireless network (80211.b, yay!) still works, and so we’re not completely cut off from the ‘net. The left shift key doesn't work most of the time, and it does bizarre things from time to time that make typing up anything longer a real challenge, but at least it works.
For the record, in this situation -- coming into a home that has obviously been broken in to -- here's what you do:
1. Get out of the house, don't touch anything.
2. Call 911. The police will come and make sure there is no one left in the house and that it is safe for you to go back in. Don't touch anything unless they tell you it's OK.
3. Don't store your passwords to financial data sites or any other sensitive information in the computer without password protecting them also. We have a bunch of passwords built into our Quicken installation so it can download information from our accounts, but all of those passwords are in a "password vault" so they are shielded.
4. Treat the theft of the computer with financial information on it the same way you would treat someone stealing your briefcase full of all your account statements, credit cards, and ATM cards: in other words, you must contact each credit card company and tell them your information has been compromised. You should visit your bank so they can close your old accounts and open new ones with the transferred balances, and you can sign the signature cards right away.
5. Notify the credit agencies so that new new accounts may be made in your name without getting approval from you first. The three credit agencies are:
Equifax 800 525 6285
TransUnion 800 680 7289
Experion 888 397 3742
It takes about 2 minutes to put a watch on your social security number, and if you call one agency, they'll notify the others for you.
6. Make a list of all the companies that directly access either your bank accounts (direct deposit, auto-paid accounts) or your credit cards -- you'll have to notify all of them of the new account numbers.
7. Last but not least, make sure you have enough cash on hand to last you until your new ATM and credit cards can be used, usually 2-5 days.
Also: Save your receipts and other information (warranty cards, owners manuals) for stuff that idiots might like to steal. It will make your insurance claim easier, and having the serial numbers available slightly increases the chances of you recovering your stolen property. (I wish!)
And do I even need to say this, now? Yes, I do: Back up everything periodically, more frequently if you're accumulating a lot of data -- like digital photos. Or store everything online if you can, because then it won't matter where your hardware is (or isn't).
I know it's a pain but just do it, OK? You don't want to be left, like me, without address books and photos and nevermind my iTunes library. At least I still have my iPod!
That was not to be. As soon as I drove up to the house, I knew something was wrong; the gate was open, and there was no reason it should be. I told the kids to wait in the car while I checked out the house. As soon as I opened the door into the house, I knew it would be bad: every light was on, every door was open. Various stuff was all over the floor, and the back door was wide open. Both cats were hanging out on the patio, Alice unperturbed, but Cooper looking spooked.
I grabbed the phone to call DH – do I call 911 or a different number? – and I tried to scoot the cats inside. Alice came willingly, but Cooper freaked out and ran around the house. I was terrified because the gate was open, and the last thing I wanted was for him to dash out into the street to get pancaked. I tore around him and closed the gate, and that was enough for him to wheel around and dash into the house.
So the cats were safe, and I got a hold of DH, and he said to call 911, so I went out to the car and told the kids what was up, and we waited for the police to come. While we waited, they got a bit scared so I took them over to our neighbors to wait it out; thank God she was home and said of course she would look after them. It was a relief not to have to worry about them while waiting for the police.
The officers came in short order, and went in to make sure the house was empty (the 911 operator made it clear to me I should get out of the house and stay out until the police had made sure that the thieves were gone.) Lots of blah-blah-blah with the officers, then waiting and waiting for the forensics unit to show up, then trying to figure out what surfaces might have good prints. The forensics officer noticed they had forced open the back door, which was something of a relief: at least we hadn’t left the house unlocked.
We had to list the things we’d noticed missing for the police, and assign approximate values. At this point, we had realized that both the ‘real’ computers were gone, as well as DS1’s PS2 – with his favorite Lego Star Wars game -- it may have been Lego Star Wars 2, actually -- and memory card with all his adventures on it – plus my digital camera, and the odd incidental: DS1’s really nice Eddie Bauer duffle bag. Bizarre.
Then started the long list of phone calls, the trip to the bank to close all our accounts and re-open new ones, the call to HP to try and reconstruct our computer configurations (and how much we paid for them), and every so often, the realization that something else was lost: the vast majority of our digital photos, my entire recipe database, and God knows how much of my website source and Farscape writing (ironically, I just assured Ross that I still had everything instantly available – man, I hope that’s still true. I know I have a backup around here somewhere, but I don’t know what format it’s in; have to find it.)
I’ve opened a claim with our insurance, and will be contacted by an adjuster in the next 2 days to figure it out.
If you’re wondering how this blog post is possible, the idiots who disrupted our lives, and took two hard-to-tote computers, completely overlooked the laptop that was sitting next to them. It’s about seven years old and running Windows 98, and it doesn’t even have an Ethernet connection – but by some weirdness, the wireless network (80211.b, yay!) still works, and so we’re not completely cut off from the ‘net. The left shift key doesn't work most of the time, and it does bizarre things from time to time that make typing up anything longer a real challenge, but at least it works.
For the record, in this situation -- coming into a home that has obviously been broken in to -- here's what you do:
1. Get out of the house, don't touch anything.
2. Call 911. The police will come and make sure there is no one left in the house and that it is safe for you to go back in. Don't touch anything unless they tell you it's OK.
3. Don't store your passwords to financial data sites or any other sensitive information in the computer without password protecting them also. We have a bunch of passwords built into our Quicken installation so it can download information from our accounts, but all of those passwords are in a "password vault" so they are shielded.
4. Treat the theft of the computer with financial information on it the same way you would treat someone stealing your briefcase full of all your account statements, credit cards, and ATM cards: in other words, you must contact each credit card company and tell them your information has been compromised. You should visit your bank so they can close your old accounts and open new ones with the transferred balances, and you can sign the signature cards right away.
5. Notify the credit agencies so that new new accounts may be made in your name without getting approval from you first. The three credit agencies are:
Equifax 800 525 6285
TransUnion 800 680 7289
Experion 888 397 3742
It takes about 2 minutes to put a watch on your social security number, and if you call one agency, they'll notify the others for you.
6. Make a list of all the companies that directly access either your bank accounts (direct deposit, auto-paid accounts) or your credit cards -- you'll have to notify all of them of the new account numbers.
7. Last but not least, make sure you have enough cash on hand to last you until your new ATM and credit cards can be used, usually 2-5 days.
Also: Save your receipts and other information (warranty cards, owners manuals) for stuff that idiots might like to steal. It will make your insurance claim easier, and having the serial numbers available slightly increases the chances of you recovering your stolen property. (I wish!)
And do I even need to say this, now? Yes, I do: Back up everything periodically, more frequently if you're accumulating a lot of data -- like digital photos. Or store everything online if you can, because then it won't matter where your hardware is (or isn't).
I know it's a pain but just do it, OK? You don't want to be left, like me, without address books and photos and nevermind my iTunes library. At least I still have my iPod!
Monday, April 16, 2007
concurrence
My ENT, Dr. O, agrees with my TMD (jaw pain) doctor that what's going on with my "sinus" headaches is
1) not an infection at all and
2) possibly caused by referred pain from my screwed-up neck muscles
Of course, he also mentioned possibility 3) referred pain from the jaw joints, although his exam didn't seem to trigger anything to make that seem likely.
The question of the day was, What does Dr. C think of your occlusal plane? I had to admit we had never discussed it. I'll make a note of it for my next appointment. (This article is the kind of thing that makes you go "hmmmm" when you're having persistent headaches and some shoulder pain as well. On the other hand, there's no way I'm going for a third round of orthodontia.)
Bottom line is, I have to go for a CT scan of my sinuses.
I confessed to Dr. O my trepidations in having the scan. I know it's necessary, but I don't want to have to deal with either cancer or surgery (never mind both). He was quite sympathetic but assured me that we couldn't just leave it, as such neglect would be far from benign. Odds are this has nothing to do with cancer, although the twitch symptoms (not nearly as frequent now as they have been in the past) do seem a little freaky.
So we'll take a look and figure out what's going on -- I have to wait for the scheduler to call me to make the arrangements. It will be interesting trying to fit it in without canceling something else; my calendar is hysterically full for the rest of the month.
1) not an infection at all and
2) possibly caused by referred pain from my screwed-up neck muscles
Of course, he also mentioned possibility 3) referred pain from the jaw joints, although his exam didn't seem to trigger anything to make that seem likely.
The question of the day was, What does Dr. C think of your occlusal plane? I had to admit we had never discussed it. I'll make a note of it for my next appointment. (This article is the kind of thing that makes you go "hmmmm" when you're having persistent headaches and some shoulder pain as well. On the other hand, there's no way I'm going for a third round of orthodontia.)
Bottom line is, I have to go for a CT scan of my sinuses.
I confessed to Dr. O my trepidations in having the scan. I know it's necessary, but I don't want to have to deal with either cancer or surgery (never mind both). He was quite sympathetic but assured me that we couldn't just leave it, as such neglect would be far from benign. Odds are this has nothing to do with cancer, although the twitch symptoms (not nearly as frequent now as they have been in the past) do seem a little freaky.
So we'll take a look and figure out what's going on -- I have to wait for the scheduler to call me to make the arrangements. It will be interesting trying to fit it in without canceling something else; my calendar is hysterically full for the rest of the month.
shift
I reach my peak ambition routinely somewhere around 12:30AM. Everything seems easy, then, and I can see with stark clarity all the little steps I need to do to complete some larger task.
Eventually I go to bed, and then I wake up and all that ambition and clarity is... submerged. It's not gone entirely, it's just very hard to reach.
It's a rare day when the inspiration/energy combination hits me early enough so I can actually get something significant done before the kids get home from school. I get hung up on the idea that it's not worth starting because I know I will be interrupted before I can finish, but I know that's an excuse.
The question is, how do I get over that? I want to be able to work more, and more efficiently, during the day. I'm out of practice, too used to writing being night-shift work.
Eventually I go to bed, and then I wake up and all that ambition and clarity is... submerged. It's not gone entirely, it's just very hard to reach.
It's a rare day when the inspiration/energy combination hits me early enough so I can actually get something significant done before the kids get home from school. I get hung up on the idea that it's not worth starting because I know I will be interrupted before I can finish, but I know that's an excuse.
The question is, how do I get over that? I want to be able to work more, and more efficiently, during the day. I'm out of practice, too used to writing being night-shift work.
on Children of Men
Watched it on DVD this weekend. Miraculously, there were no scratches, dings, or crud on the disc requiring me to clean it, so we were able to watch the whole thing without interruption.
That fact was probably the highlight of the viewing experience. What a slow, sorry and depressing dirge that was! I'm mystified by the critical acclaim it received.
I enjoyed the performances of Clive Owens and Michael Caine, who did what they could with what they were given. Julianne Moore's character, obviously American, inexplicably leading a group of British terrorist activists, was impenetrable and barely present. Her role was little more than a cameo, and gave me nothing to believe in, which made Kee's faith in her -- and her subsequent faith in Owens' character -- very difficult to accept. Why would Kee believe these people? Indeed, it was demonstrated fairly early on that Kee's faith in the Fish was entirely misplaced when they murdered Moore's character and tried to steal her baby.
So. A lot of the praise I've read for Children of Men talks about the atmosphere and how richly detailed it is, and how believable. The world has gone to hell in a handbasket, daily acts of terrorism are not only expected but tolerated, and Great Britain has set up refugee cities to control its illegal immigrant populations. I suppose it could happen that way, but I'm not buying it.
Here's why: the story posits a world in which no one has been born for 18 years. No one -- not one single child. (One of the more affecting scenes takes place in a gutted school building: who needs schools when there are no children to educate?) Presumably, the birth rate had been dropping precipitously for several years before that 18 year mark, so the youngest generation -- people 18-25 years old, say, would be very small indeed. What would that mean for society?
Well, for one thing, that would mean that the labor supply would necessarily over time become scarcer and scarcer. Any country that wished to sustain its economy would actively seek out immigrants, to keep the economy going. If new people aren't being created to sustain the workforce, eventually the economy will falter (see: Europe, circa now.) But the entire plot of Children of Men hinges on this deathly distinction between natives and immigrants ("fugees").
In a country with no children to educate but millions of refugees, education resources could be retooled to accommodate the assimilation and training of all those refugees. The manpower they'd provide would be vital to sustain the economy. Someone has to do the work, after all. If there aren't any native snotty teens and twenty-somethings to work the barista jobs or any other entry-level drudgery, those jobs will go to the immigrants. Everyone's happy because you're still able to buy your coffee and the immigrants have jobs. Yay!
But there's another aspect of the Children of Men scenario which just doesn't play, either: there's way too much killing. Terrorism is a young man's (nearly exclusively) game. You don't see too many -- any, in fact -- middle-aged suicide bombers. By the time they've reached middle age, their fanaticism has been worn smooth at the edges, usually enough that while they may able to plan vicious attacks on innocent civilians, they're not as likely to carry them out themselves. So what happens when there are no young people to recruit? Over time, the members of the terrorist organizations get blown up or arrested, and attrition does them in. Eventually, they will run out of both steam and people.
It makes no sense to assume that these groups could continue to muster up enthusiasm for their cause among the aging and war-weary population. Over time, people become inured to violence, and violent acts are less and less likely to be viewed as any kind of a solution, especially if the birth rate is zero. If there are no new people, would everyone really be that cavalier about killing off the ones that we've got?
I'll grant that Cuaron is a wonderful director, and certain images will remain with me forever. But human nature, common sense, and economics all weigh against the dystopia this film presents. A few fine performances don't outweigh all the rest of the nonsense that's up on the screen, now matter how darkly, richly envisioned it is.
That fact was probably the highlight of the viewing experience. What a slow, sorry and depressing dirge that was! I'm mystified by the critical acclaim it received.
I enjoyed the performances of Clive Owens and Michael Caine, who did what they could with what they were given. Julianne Moore's character, obviously American, inexplicably leading a group of British terrorist activists, was impenetrable and barely present. Her role was little more than a cameo, and gave me nothing to believe in, which made Kee's faith in her -- and her subsequent faith in Owens' character -- very difficult to accept. Why would Kee believe these people? Indeed, it was demonstrated fairly early on that Kee's faith in the Fish was entirely misplaced when they murdered Moore's character and tried to steal her baby.
So. A lot of the praise I've read for Children of Men talks about the atmosphere and how richly detailed it is, and how believable. The world has gone to hell in a handbasket, daily acts of terrorism are not only expected but tolerated, and Great Britain has set up refugee cities to control its illegal immigrant populations. I suppose it could happen that way, but I'm not buying it.
Here's why: the story posits a world in which no one has been born for 18 years. No one -- not one single child. (One of the more affecting scenes takes place in a gutted school building: who needs schools when there are no children to educate?) Presumably, the birth rate had been dropping precipitously for several years before that 18 year mark, so the youngest generation -- people 18-25 years old, say, would be very small indeed. What would that mean for society?
Well, for one thing, that would mean that the labor supply would necessarily over time become scarcer and scarcer. Any country that wished to sustain its economy would actively seek out immigrants, to keep the economy going. If new people aren't being created to sustain the workforce, eventually the economy will falter (see: Europe, circa now.) But the entire plot of Children of Men hinges on this deathly distinction between natives and immigrants ("fugees").
In a country with no children to educate but millions of refugees, education resources could be retooled to accommodate the assimilation and training of all those refugees. The manpower they'd provide would be vital to sustain the economy. Someone has to do the work, after all. If there aren't any native snotty teens and twenty-somethings to work the barista jobs or any other entry-level drudgery, those jobs will go to the immigrants. Everyone's happy because you're still able to buy your coffee and the immigrants have jobs. Yay!
But there's another aspect of the Children of Men scenario which just doesn't play, either: there's way too much killing. Terrorism is a young man's (nearly exclusively) game. You don't see too many -- any, in fact -- middle-aged suicide bombers. By the time they've reached middle age, their fanaticism has been worn smooth at the edges, usually enough that while they may able to plan vicious attacks on innocent civilians, they're not as likely to carry them out themselves. So what happens when there are no young people to recruit? Over time, the members of the terrorist organizations get blown up or arrested, and attrition does them in. Eventually, they will run out of both steam and people.
It makes no sense to assume that these groups could continue to muster up enthusiasm for their cause among the aging and war-weary population. Over time, people become inured to violence, and violent acts are less and less likely to be viewed as any kind of a solution, especially if the birth rate is zero. If there are no new people, would everyone really be that cavalier about killing off the ones that we've got?
I'll grant that Cuaron is a wonderful director, and certain images will remain with me forever. But human nature, common sense, and economics all weigh against the dystopia this film presents. A few fine performances don't outweigh all the rest of the nonsense that's up on the screen, now matter how darkly, richly envisioned it is.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
MILC's in!
...at it's new online home, CarbSmart magazine.
"MILC" is Make It Low Carb, the column I've been writing monthly (more or less) since February 2004. I've links to all my old columns on my own MILC site, which is now desperately in need of an update.
At any rate, I'll be writing twice as often at CarbSmart, which means I'll have to impose some discipline on myself to deliver. That's a good thing, especially considering there is actual income involved here.
Click on over and see my first two columns -- Southwestern Spinach Three Ways, and Chicken with Crispy Skin.
"MILC" is Make It Low Carb, the column I've been writing monthly (more or less) since February 2004. I've links to all my old columns on my own MILC site, which is now desperately in need of an update.
At any rate, I'll be writing twice as often at CarbSmart, which means I'll have to impose some discipline on myself to deliver. That's a good thing, especially considering there is actual income involved here.
Click on over and see my first two columns -- Southwestern Spinach Three Ways, and Chicken with Crispy Skin.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
referral madness
I had my umpteenth follow-up appointment with Dr. C, who is treating me for my TMD -- tempero-mandibular disorder, informally and commonly referred to as TMJ.
Sadly, I've backtracked considerably on the progress I was showing at the end of January, so I'll be going back in again in 3-5 weeks.
My take on my situation was: Yes, I'm having headaches, but I've had this sinus thing going on, and I haven't been too great about doing all of my physical therapy exercises. (I do some nearly every day, just not the whole suite.)
Dr. C's assertion: There's no such thing as a sinus headache, it's referral pain coming from problems with the musculature in your neck.
Me: !!!!???
There followed the back-and-forth: But I'm not having the eye-stabbing headaches that got me into treatment in the first place -- Yes, those are the most uncommon, now you're having the most common headaches -- well, what about my ears feeling blocked, too? -- Jaw muscle pain can cause ear problems... -- Why does Nasonex work, then? -- Because Nasonex (a steroid, after all) treats the jaw inflammation...
To all of this I say: Hmmmm. But also, keeping an open mind.
I told Dr. C I'm going to see my ENT on Monday, and we'll see what's what. The one symptom I forgot to mention to him that makes me think there really is something going on with my sinuses is the fact that I have never-ending post-nasal drip, and if I snort enough saline (or warm water in the shower), some pretty nasty gunk comes out of my nose. But I agree with Dr. C that we shouldn't say it's a sinus infection unless there's actual evidence -- other than the headaches -- of something going on in there, something culturable.
We'll see.
Let me just say I'm a bit freaked about getting a head CT. My eye twitching is better than it was, but hasn't gone away completely, and in the last week or so, I've developed an intermittent lip twitch as well. Just now I'm experiencing something weird with my nose -- there's pressure in my sinuses which is somehow or other making the tip of my nose feel numb, the way it did when I had the local anesthesia for my front crown work. It's odd to walk around feeling that way when you haven't been to the dentist. Obviously something is going on... I just don't want it to involve either 1) cancer or 2) surgery.
Dr. C recommends doing some tests with numbing muscles/nerves in my neck to see if it alleviates the pain before anything more invasive is done. I'm fine with that, if the tests don't definitely show something wrong with the sinuses.
For now, I'm supposed to wear the splint during the day when I don't need to talk or eat, and also note if I have jaw pain in the morning. Last, try to get back to the exercises on a more regular basis -- I know that will help. I am so not in the mood for another health issue! I'm hoping it's not too late to avoid having something major done with this.
Sadly, I've backtracked considerably on the progress I was showing at the end of January, so I'll be going back in again in 3-5 weeks.
My take on my situation was: Yes, I'm having headaches, but I've had this sinus thing going on, and I haven't been too great about doing all of my physical therapy exercises. (I do some nearly every day, just not the whole suite.)
Dr. C's assertion: There's no such thing as a sinus headache, it's referral pain coming from problems with the musculature in your neck.
Me: !!!!???
There followed the back-and-forth: But I'm not having the eye-stabbing headaches that got me into treatment in the first place -- Yes, those are the most uncommon, now you're having the most common headaches -- well, what about my ears feeling blocked, too? -- Jaw muscle pain can cause ear problems... -- Why does Nasonex work, then? -- Because Nasonex (a steroid, after all) treats the jaw inflammation...
To all of this I say: Hmmmm. But also, keeping an open mind.
I told Dr. C I'm going to see my ENT on Monday, and we'll see what's what. The one symptom I forgot to mention to him that makes me think there really is something going on with my sinuses is the fact that I have never-ending post-nasal drip, and if I snort enough saline (or warm water in the shower), some pretty nasty gunk comes out of my nose. But I agree with Dr. C that we shouldn't say it's a sinus infection unless there's actual evidence -- other than the headaches -- of something going on in there, something culturable.
We'll see.
Let me just say I'm a bit freaked about getting a head CT. My eye twitching is better than it was, but hasn't gone away completely, and in the last week or so, I've developed an intermittent lip twitch as well. Just now I'm experiencing something weird with my nose -- there's pressure in my sinuses which is somehow or other making the tip of my nose feel numb, the way it did when I had the local anesthesia for my front crown work. It's odd to walk around feeling that way when you haven't been to the dentist. Obviously something is going on... I just don't want it to involve either 1) cancer or 2) surgery.
Dr. C recommends doing some tests with numbing muscles/nerves in my neck to see if it alleviates the pain before anything more invasive is done. I'm fine with that, if the tests don't definitely show something wrong with the sinuses.
For now, I'm supposed to wear the splint during the day when I don't need to talk or eat, and also note if I have jaw pain in the morning. Last, try to get back to the exercises on a more regular basis -- I know that will help. I am so not in the mood for another health issue! I'm hoping it's not too late to avoid having something major done with this.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
spring training
The roses, of course.
We have seven Lady Banks rose bushes growing around the privacy walls in our backyard. Here in suburban Phoenix, where houses are large and lot sizes are small, and homes are packed like sardines into subdevelopments, privacy walls are not optional, and most are like ours: six foot cinder block monstrosities. I'd just as soon have a split-rail fence and be able to interact with my neighbors, but that's not how it's done around here.
So, trying to make the best of a less-than-optimal situation, we planted the Lady Banks' knowing they would grow up the wall. The problem is, instead of staking them out to spread and cover as much cinder block as possible, DH trellised them. It's not what I wanted but at the time I was busy having a baby (that would be DD) and since I wasn't going to do the work myself I didn't argue the point. After eight years, we had rose bushes that were growing up and out, but still each only managed to cover a relatively small amount of wall:
Let me stress that these are really lovely, hardy plants, covering themselves with lots of little white blossoms every spring. There's nothing wrong with them, they just weren't the way I wanted them to be. So when a big wind storm blew through a few weeks ago, and knocked three of the bushes off their trellises, DH decided that now would be as good a time as any to train them along the wall, instead of up a trellis. He's done four so far:
It's not a complicated process, but it does take a little time: chop off the top of the bush, then prune and separate the canes. Drill pilot holes for the lead anchors, tap them in, screw in the eye hooks, and fasten the canes to the hooks. The kind and helpful people at Whitfill Nursery assured me that 1) it was easy enough for us to do and 2) a landscape maintenance company would charge us a fortune to do it. Fortunately they were right about the first point, especially given the reassurance that it's very difficult to kill these plants. They bounce back very quickly. Here's a plant that DH trained last Saturday:
And here's one he did two weeks ago; you can see how much new growth this one is already showing:
In short order, our walls will be more green -- and evergreen, here, too, as the Lady Banks don't die off in winter -- than cinder block, and our poor lizards' will have more shade than they know what to do with. Just now they're wildly scampering for cover along the back wall, because all that lush foliage they're used to is gone.
It is deeply satisfying to see something done that has been subtly nagging at me for years now. What is even more delightful about this whole process is that DH is the one who suggested it. Whether the idea of training the roses along the walls came to him from thin air or he remembered that it was something I'd always wanted to do makes no difference to me -- it's finally happening, and when it's finished and the roses have grown back in, it will make a really lovely change in the backyard. Psyched!
We have seven Lady Banks rose bushes growing around the privacy walls in our backyard. Here in suburban Phoenix, where houses are large and lot sizes are small, and homes are packed like sardines into subdevelopments, privacy walls are not optional, and most are like ours: six foot cinder block monstrosities. I'd just as soon have a split-rail fence and be able to interact with my neighbors, but that's not how it's done around here.
So, trying to make the best of a less-than-optimal situation, we planted the Lady Banks' knowing they would grow up the wall. The problem is, instead of staking them out to spread and cover as much cinder block as possible, DH trellised them. It's not what I wanted but at the time I was busy having a baby (that would be DD) and since I wasn't going to do the work myself I didn't argue the point. After eight years, we had rose bushes that were growing up and out, but still each only managed to cover a relatively small amount of wall:
Let me stress that these are really lovely, hardy plants, covering themselves with lots of little white blossoms every spring. There's nothing wrong with them, they just weren't the way I wanted them to be. So when a big wind storm blew through a few weeks ago, and knocked three of the bushes off their trellises, DH decided that now would be as good a time as any to train them along the wall, instead of up a trellis. He's done four so far:
It's not a complicated process, but it does take a little time: chop off the top of the bush, then prune and separate the canes. Drill pilot holes for the lead anchors, tap them in, screw in the eye hooks, and fasten the canes to the hooks. The kind and helpful people at Whitfill Nursery assured me that 1) it was easy enough for us to do and 2) a landscape maintenance company would charge us a fortune to do it. Fortunately they were right about the first point, especially given the reassurance that it's very difficult to kill these plants. They bounce back very quickly. Here's a plant that DH trained last Saturday:
And here's one he did two weeks ago; you can see how much new growth this one is already showing:
In short order, our walls will be more green -- and evergreen, here, too, as the Lady Banks don't die off in winter -- than cinder block, and our poor lizards' will have more shade than they know what to do with. Just now they're wildly scampering for cover along the back wall, because all that lush foliage they're used to is gone.
It is deeply satisfying to see something done that has been subtly nagging at me for years now. What is even more delightful about this whole process is that DH is the one who suggested it. Whether the idea of training the roses along the walls came to him from thin air or he remembered that it was something I'd always wanted to do makes no difference to me -- it's finally happening, and when it's finished and the roses have grown back in, it will make a really lovely change in the backyard. Psyched!
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
something from nothing
After all that whining earlier, today turned out to be a really fantastic, productive day.
I'm at the beginning of a new adventure, but I'm not going to say more because the details are not nailed down yet. I will say that it's nice to be able to put my various talents to good use -- to shake myself out of the ridiculous funk I sometimes find myself in, of believing that I'm good-for-nothing. How absurd!
The further my surgeries recede into the past, the more willing I am to just do it. It's horrible to quote an athletic shoe ad but there it is -- there's nothing holding me back any more. From time to time I have a moment of paralyzing negative conjecture, but I let it go. Jump off that bridge when the time comes, right?
For now, I'm just thinking: I can do this.
I'm at the beginning of a new adventure, but I'm not going to say more because the details are not nailed down yet. I will say that it's nice to be able to put my various talents to good use -- to shake myself out of the ridiculous funk I sometimes find myself in, of believing that I'm good-for-nothing. How absurd!
The further my surgeries recede into the past, the more willing I am to just do it. It's horrible to quote an athletic shoe ad but there it is -- there's nothing holding me back any more. From time to time I have a moment of paralyzing negative conjecture, but I let it go. Jump off that bridge when the time comes, right?
For now, I'm just thinking: I can do this.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
losing days
I've just finished my third week on my new thyroid meds regimen (dropped my Cytomel completely, sticking with my previous level of Levoxyl.*) The entirety of this experiment, I've also had a sinus infection, and I also just started on a new med for my post-gallbladder-removal digestion problems.
Yesterday was my last day on my second round of antibiotics for the sinus junk, and much to my relief, the morning nausea I was experiencing hasn't shown up today. Evening nausea is definitely related to taking the Questran on an empty stomach, or too soon before eating: ideally, I take it right before dinner, then it works perfectly without making me feel sick. Actually, it works perfectly even when it makes me feel sick, but I can do without the feeling sick part.
The worst of what's going on relates, I have to believe, to the thyroid meds. I keep waking up not knowing what day it is. This has happened to me a few times over the years, but now it's getting to be a regular thing: I wake up in a panic, because I've overslept and the kids will be late for school and there's nothing already to go for breakfast or lunch... and then I realize it's Saturday. Or this morning, I panicked thinking it was Wednesday, which means that DS1 would be gone with DH to physical therapy, and oversleeping is a very big deal because I have to get the peewees off to school. But by the time my feet hit the floor I remember that it's Tuesday and there's no need to panic because I overslept by 15 minutes; DH has already got the kids up and they're all doing their morning stuff and everything is surprisingly calm and OK. Except inside my head, where the panic takes a while to subside.
I understand where the lost day feeling comes from, in part: yesterday I got called in to substitute at 7:35AM, needing to be there by 8AM, and needing to shower, dress, and eat as well! Remarkably, we made it, although only by breaking my previous record for fastest shower ever. The little ones made it much easier by actually being ready to go when I needed them to be, miraculously. It helped that DS1 was out at PT! There's always more friction when the three of them are around.
I'm functional for the most part, though the house is pretty much a disaster. I'm sure my meds could us an uptick, but I'm going to hold out for one more week before I go and have my blood drawn for the new labs. The sinus junk is as persistent as ever, although the Nasonex really does help. Now I must wrestle with whether or not to go to the ENT or just hope it goes away... while I chalk up my newest difficulty swallowing to the virulent post nasal-drip that just will not quit.
---
(*) I dropped the Cytomel because it's very expensive, and because I wanted to see if I really do need it, after all. My endo decided to keep my dosage of Levoxyl the same as what I was taking before (125mcg) because I was taking such a tiny dose of Cytomel (5mcg). I'm expecting to need an increase in the Levoxyl, but we wanted to see how much effect the Cytomel was having before adjusting the Levoxyl upwards.
I've already determined that if my endo won't increase my Levoxyl I'll just go back on the Cytomel -- I really don't like this fuzzy-headedness! Someday I'm going to forget something really important.
Yesterday was my last day on my second round of antibiotics for the sinus junk, and much to my relief, the morning nausea I was experiencing hasn't shown up today. Evening nausea is definitely related to taking the Questran on an empty stomach, or too soon before eating: ideally, I take it right before dinner, then it works perfectly without making me feel sick. Actually, it works perfectly even when it makes me feel sick, but I can do without the feeling sick part.
The worst of what's going on relates, I have to believe, to the thyroid meds. I keep waking up not knowing what day it is. This has happened to me a few times over the years, but now it's getting to be a regular thing: I wake up in a panic, because I've overslept and the kids will be late for school and there's nothing already to go for breakfast or lunch... and then I realize it's Saturday. Or this morning, I panicked thinking it was Wednesday, which means that DS1 would be gone with DH to physical therapy, and oversleeping is a very big deal because I have to get the peewees off to school. But by the time my feet hit the floor I remember that it's Tuesday and there's no need to panic because I overslept by 15 minutes; DH has already got the kids up and they're all doing their morning stuff and everything is surprisingly calm and OK. Except inside my head, where the panic takes a while to subside.
I understand where the lost day feeling comes from, in part: yesterday I got called in to substitute at 7:35AM, needing to be there by 8AM, and needing to shower, dress, and eat as well! Remarkably, we made it, although only by breaking my previous record for fastest shower ever. The little ones made it much easier by actually being ready to go when I needed them to be, miraculously. It helped that DS1 was out at PT! There's always more friction when the three of them are around.
I'm functional for the most part, though the house is pretty much a disaster. I'm sure my meds could us an uptick, but I'm going to hold out for one more week before I go and have my blood drawn for the new labs. The sinus junk is as persistent as ever, although the Nasonex really does help. Now I must wrestle with whether or not to go to the ENT or just hope it goes away... while I chalk up my newest difficulty swallowing to the virulent post nasal-drip that just will not quit.
---
(*) I dropped the Cytomel because it's very expensive, and because I wanted to see if I really do need it, after all. My endo decided to keep my dosage of Levoxyl the same as what I was taking before (125mcg) because I was taking such a tiny dose of Cytomel (5mcg). I'm expecting to need an increase in the Levoxyl, but we wanted to see how much effect the Cytomel was having before adjusting the Levoxyl upwards.
I've already determined that if my endo won't increase my Levoxyl I'll just go back on the Cytomel -- I really don't like this fuzzy-headedness! Someday I'm going to forget something really important.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
lessons
Today, just one: no amount of dark chocolate, however luscious, can compensate for having managed to get only 4 or so hours of sleep for past three consecutive nights.
Yesterday's lessons:
1) A two-hour mid-day nap helps, but not that much.
2) Never, never eat corn chips out of the bag while reading. Eventually the bag will be empty and you will be wondering where the chips all went, and then you will realize that you've eaten them all quite without noticing. Always take out a bowl and dish yourself a serving. That way your clothes will still fit you in the morning.
3) Staying up late knitting is no more virtuous than staying up late doing any other mildly obsessive behavior. Especially when you're working on a sweater for yourself:
from Knit Simple Spring/Summer 2007
What? I need a new beach cover-up (my old denim shirt is falling apart), and I've had this yarn since before the Woolworth's in Boston's Downtown Crossing went out of business. I knew if I waited long enough, I'd find the right project for it.
Yesterday's lessons:
1) A two-hour mid-day nap helps, but not that much.
2) Never, never eat corn chips out of the bag while reading. Eventually the bag will be empty and you will be wondering where the chips all went, and then you will realize that you've eaten them all quite without noticing. Always take out a bowl and dish yourself a serving. That way your clothes will still fit you in the morning.
3) Staying up late knitting is no more virtuous than staying up late doing any other mildly obsessive behavior. Especially when you're working on a sweater for yourself:
What? I need a new beach cover-up (my old denim shirt is falling apart), and I've had this yarn since before the Woolworth's in Boston's Downtown Crossing went out of business. I knew if I waited long enough, I'd find the right project for it.
mantra
I started to say "new mantra", but honestly I've never had a mantra* before, that I can remember. So this is a first for me, and I'm hoping it will help me curb some of my self-destructive habits, such as staying up all hours watching Turner Classic Movies or obsessively scouring the web for delicious content:
Make good choices.
Easy enough, right?
If only.
----
(*) What is a mantra, anyway? I looked it up, and it seems that I'm somewhere between the two meanings, the first being a sacred verbal chant, the second being a commonly repeated phrase. Obviously "Make good choices" isn't explicitly spiritual. It is a directive to me (think about and do what's best) and an abbreviated plea for help (Lord, help me figure this out!), simultaneously. So it's not really a mantra in either meaning of the word, but I'm going to keep calling it my mantra anyway.
Make good choices.
Easy enough, right?
If only.
----
(*) What is a mantra, anyway? I looked it up, and it seems that I'm somewhere between the two meanings, the first being a sacred verbal chant, the second being a commonly repeated phrase. Obviously "Make good choices" isn't explicitly spiritual. It is a directive to me (think about and do what's best) and an abbreviated plea for help (Lord, help me figure this out!), simultaneously. So it's not really a mantra in either meaning of the word, but I'm going to keep calling it my mantra anyway.
a wee bit fiesty
On Monday nights, I teach a class of fifth graders Religious Education (RE). The majority of the class made their confirmations in early February; the remainder will do so in mid-April with their siblings. Due to the oddities of this scheduling (we're playing catch-up with these younger grades because of the newly Restored Order of the Sacraments (pdf)), we completed the sacramental preparation part of our course by the end of January, and since then, we've been working through a traditional fifth grade RE text.
There's no way we're getting through the whole book, so last week I reviewed the table of contents and the lessons and started pulling out which lessons we would go over. Last week we covered Lent and started the section on prayer. This week we finished the prayer lesson, and started the lesson on the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
And somehow or other, with about 10 minutes left to go in the class, we came around to one of the students asking me about the recently-aired documentary on the Tomb of Jesus.
(rolls eyes)
Don't get me started...
Fortunately, I had read enough around the web to be able to thoroughly refute the idea that the Jesus in the tomb was, you know, The Jesus. But I also managed to convey to them the very earliest history of the Church: if Jesus really was buried somewhere, that means the Resurrection is a lie. Why would the apostles lie about something like that? Why would St. Peter, and all the apostles, go to their deaths professing the truth of the Resurrection if it was just some bizarre joke they were playing?
And then we got started on the DaVinci Code... and I got a bit impassioned about what garbage that is, and even more impassioned over the Church's supposed suppression of women. Hmmm, let's take a look at that idea, shall we? Mary, the mother of Jesus, is the most revered human (aside from Jesus, who is also God), who ever lived. And she is? Yes, a woman! We can talk about countless saints who also happen to be female, but I prefer to go way, way back to the morning of the Resurrection. To whom did the Angel appear in the empty tomb, to announce what had happened? To the women, members of society viewed as property, valued only slightly above slaves, with very few rights of their own. At that time, women were not even allowed to testify in court.
If you were going to make up a story, why would you choose the most unreliable witnesses, according to your culture, to be the ones to receive the most important message ever? It doesn't make any sense at all as a lie, does it?
Anyway, there was some good question-and-answer stuff and many of the kids were actually engaged in the conversation -- we even ran over by about 2 minutes, which has never happened before. One of the other topics that came up was the subject of Mary's perpetual virginity. I struggled to explain how, if you truly believe that Jesus is God, it's the only thing that makes sense: what human is fit to occupy the space that once held God? Such a space is sacred, and always should remain so. As these things often go, the best analogy occurred to me much later:
The tabernacle isn't a breadbox.
There's no way we're getting through the whole book, so last week I reviewed the table of contents and the lessons and started pulling out which lessons we would go over. Last week we covered Lent and started the section on prayer. This week we finished the prayer lesson, and started the lesson on the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
And somehow or other, with about 10 minutes left to go in the class, we came around to one of the students asking me about the recently-aired documentary on the Tomb of Jesus.
(rolls eyes)
Don't get me started...
Fortunately, I had read enough around the web to be able to thoroughly refute the idea that the Jesus in the tomb was, you know, The Jesus. But I also managed to convey to them the very earliest history of the Church: if Jesus really was buried somewhere, that means the Resurrection is a lie. Why would the apostles lie about something like that? Why would St. Peter, and all the apostles, go to their deaths professing the truth of the Resurrection if it was just some bizarre joke they were playing?
And then we got started on the DaVinci Code... and I got a bit impassioned about what garbage that is, and even more impassioned over the Church's supposed suppression of women. Hmmm, let's take a look at that idea, shall we? Mary, the mother of Jesus, is the most revered human (aside from Jesus, who is also God), who ever lived. And she is? Yes, a woman! We can talk about countless saints who also happen to be female, but I prefer to go way, way back to the morning of the Resurrection. To whom did the Angel appear in the empty tomb, to announce what had happened? To the women, members of society viewed as property, valued only slightly above slaves, with very few rights of their own. At that time, women were not even allowed to testify in court.
If you were going to make up a story, why would you choose the most unreliable witnesses, according to your culture, to be the ones to receive the most important message ever? It doesn't make any sense at all as a lie, does it?
Anyway, there was some good question-and-answer stuff and many of the kids were actually engaged in the conversation -- we even ran over by about 2 minutes, which has never happened before. One of the other topics that came up was the subject of Mary's perpetual virginity. I struggled to explain how, if you truly believe that Jesus is God, it's the only thing that makes sense: what human is fit to occupy the space that once held God? Such a space is sacred, and always should remain so. As these things often go, the best analogy occurred to me much later:
The tabernacle isn't a breadbox.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
airhead
Yesterday, I used a knife to butter and cut up the kids' pancakes... and then I put it back in the silverware drawer instead of the dishwasher.
I don't feel spacey when I'm around people or actively working on something. I only seem to screw up auto-pilot things, like turning off the stove. I know, people do that sort of thing all the time, but I can't ever recall having done it myself. The burner was set to the lowest possible setting, so that it was difficult to see the flame. I only realized it was on later when I noticed the air was warmer over that burner. No harm done. (So far.)
Sinus meds are doing something because the big node under my jawline has subsided. But my face still feels clogged up. Is this a chicken-and-egg problem? Will the sinus thing ever resolve if my thyroid meds are whacked? How can I tell what's a sinus symptom and what's a thyroid symptom? This is annoying.
I have a sense of waiting for something to happen, and I was trying to figure out what that was. I think I know: I'm waiting for the sinus infection to resolve, and for my thyroid meds to be calibrated. I'm waiting to feel like me again.
I don't feel spacey when I'm around people or actively working on something. I only seem to screw up auto-pilot things, like turning off the stove. I know, people do that sort of thing all the time, but I can't ever recall having done it myself. The burner was set to the lowest possible setting, so that it was difficult to see the flame. I only realized it was on later when I noticed the air was warmer over that burner. No harm done. (So far.)
Sinus meds are doing something because the big node under my jawline has subsided. But my face still feels clogged up. Is this a chicken-and-egg problem? Will the sinus thing ever resolve if my thyroid meds are whacked? How can I tell what's a sinus symptom and what's a thyroid symptom? This is annoying.
I have a sense of waiting for something to happen, and I was trying to figure out what that was. I think I know: I'm waiting for the sinus infection to resolve, and for my thyroid meds to be calibrated. I'm waiting to feel like me again.
Friday, March 23, 2007
new meds status report
Thyroid hormones: it may be just my imagination, but I'm feeling brain fog settle in. I made a spectacular blunder this week -- no need to detail my embarrassments here, and I was able to reschedule -- and I can't blame that on not getting enough sleep. Last night I got 8+ hours and I still feel fuzzy-headed. Of course, that could just because the...
Sinus meds aren't working, and my PCP called in a new prescription for me today/ I'm clinging to the hope that this new antibiotic will knock the infection out, but just barely. I'm not in the mood for expensive tests and invasive treatments. But I am disappointed that regular use of my Nasonex and Mucinex, combined with the Biaxin, haven't had more of an effect. If anything, I'm worse today than earlier in the week. I have a headache, but it's more like my face hurts -- behind the eyes and nose. Ick.
Last but not least, the Questran seems to be doing its job, more or less. You really can't tell about that kind of thing when you've just started on a course of antibiotics. At least I can't, because antibiotics routinely screw up my digestive system. So while the situation isn't perfect, I will say that it is improved, and that is a very good thing.
I've played hooky today: not working, and nothing pressing that really needed to get done. I haven't been a total slug, though -- I've got some laundry going, and I made some primitive efforts to save the rose bushes that have flopped over.
March 2005: DD fleeing from the monster rose bush...
Recent high winds combined with the heaviness of the bushes led to trellis failure for three of our Lady Banks. Fortunately, we were planning on de-trellising them anyway and training them along the privacy wall, so it's not that big a deal. Except that now we basically have no choice!
Sometimes life just makes decisions for you that way.
Sinus meds aren't working, and my PCP called in a new prescription for me today/ I'm clinging to the hope that this new antibiotic will knock the infection out, but just barely. I'm not in the mood for expensive tests and invasive treatments. But I am disappointed that regular use of my Nasonex and Mucinex, combined with the Biaxin, haven't had more of an effect. If anything, I'm worse today than earlier in the week. I have a headache, but it's more like my face hurts -- behind the eyes and nose. Ick.
Last but not least, the Questran seems to be doing its job, more or less. You really can't tell about that kind of thing when you've just started on a course of antibiotics. At least I can't, because antibiotics routinely screw up my digestive system. So while the situation isn't perfect, I will say that it is improved, and that is a very good thing.
I've played hooky today: not working, and nothing pressing that really needed to get done. I haven't been a total slug, though -- I've got some laundry going, and I made some primitive efforts to save the rose bushes that have flopped over.
Recent high winds combined with the heaviness of the bushes led to trellis failure for three of our Lady Banks. Fortunately, we were planning on de-trellising them anyway and training them along the privacy wall, so it's not that big a deal. Except that now we basically have no choice!
Sometimes life just makes decisions for you that way.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
I really don't want to know
I don't understand tattoos, or the impulse to get one, at all, and I wrote about it some time ago, here.
At the time, my friend Tom joked in the comments that I should "copyright and patent the term Tattoo Taxidermy right now," and I would become rich beyond my wildest dreams.
So... should I be disturbed by the recent Google searches for "tattoo taxidermy" that have brought new readers to my blog?
Like I said, I really don't want to know.
At the time, my friend Tom joked in the comments that I should "copyright and patent the term Tattoo Taxidermy right now," and I would become rich beyond my wildest dreams.
So... should I be disturbed by the recent Google searches for "tattoo taxidermy" that have brought new readers to my blog?
Like I said, I really don't want to know.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
continuing education
Over the past week or so I've learned the following interesting medical facts:
Bones grow faster than muscles. I knew that bone growth occurred at the bone plates, but I never gave a thought to the fact that the musculature often doesn't keep up. This is a big part of DS1's gait/coordination problem: about the time of my original cancer diagnosis, he was going through a major growth spurt, and because of all my medical dramas, he wasn't enrolled in any kind of organized physical activity. He lost ground there, and has been playing catch-up ever since. (Here's an article by Dr. Sears which talks about this problem.)
Vitamin D deficiency is the latest buzz in early detection and treatment. I was surprised when my endo ordered a whole Vitamin D panel on my last bloodwork. I'm coming in on the low side of normal, but still within range -- the value we're shooting for is 50, and I was at 39, which isn't too far off. (The dr was not concerned). What's the big deal? From Science News Online:
Yoga is probably not the best exercise for preventing osteoporosis. I talked this one over with my endocrinologist also. I'm at high risk for osteoporosis because I'm tall, on the thin side (not so much these day!), and I'm on that suppressive dose of thyroid hormones to keep my cancer at bay. The new dr stressed that the joints really need to be pounded -- she suggested jumping jacks -- to get the bones to respond the way they should. It's the repeated stress on the bones that makes them grow stronger. But strength training exercises are important also.
Acute sinus infections left untreated can become chronic conditions requiring more invasive measures to resolve. The entirely personal information I learned today on this topic is that I've been to my primary care physician 5 times since August of 2006 for sinus infections. He (PCP) suggested I take this to my ENT, it may be time for a CT scan of my sinuses. But what I'm really going to do is take the vile anti-biotic he prescribed (14 days! ick!), use my Nasonex faithfully every day, and just try to get over this one and prevent another one. CT scans are expensive and I'd rather not unless I absolutely have to. Fortunately I have a good game plan and rather comprehensive information.
Sometimes, the intended use of the drug is "off-label" even though it's exactly on point. Case in point: bile acid sequestrants are often prescribed to post-cholecystecomy (gallbladder removal) patients, because without a gallbladder, too much bile flows into the intestines causing various "digestive transit" problems. My g/e doc prescribed some Cholestyramine for me. Reading the drug information sheet, I noticed there was not a word on it -- not anywhere -- about this use. The closest it came was noting that it can relieve itching associated with liver disease. Fortunately, the web comes through and backs up the g/e dr's treatment plan with the first hit from my "cholestryamine gallbladder" search. (You really have to know how to construct those queries!)
It's a good thing I read that sheet, too: the cholestyramine can interfere with thyroid hormones when taken too close together. Fortunately, I take my thryoid meds first thing in the morning, and the Questran will be an afternoon thing. It's not sticky or goopy like fiber drinks -- it's more fuzzy. This, I'm sure, is because it's a resin, and resins simply do not dissolve in water (what they will dissolve in, you would definitely not want to drink.)
So now I'm on a boatload of new drugs:
1)Mucinex, for the sinus infection
2) Nasonex, for the sinus infection
3) Biaxin, for the sinus infection
(damn sinus infection!)
4) Questran, for the rapid transit issue
In addition to all that, I'm still taking all my other usual meds, plus ibuprofen every four hours to take the edge of this never-ending flare.
Meds, meds, meds. What I really need to do is 1) consistently exercise and 2) consistently get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. On point 1, I'm not doing badly at all -- even swam today. Point 2 is my undoing, and I'm sure is contributing to my upwardly-creeping weight as well.
There's always tomorrow (notes time). (Ahem) Well, the rest of today...
Bones grow faster than muscles. I knew that bone growth occurred at the bone plates, but I never gave a thought to the fact that the musculature often doesn't keep up. This is a big part of DS1's gait/coordination problem: about the time of my original cancer diagnosis, he was going through a major growth spurt, and because of all my medical dramas, he wasn't enrolled in any kind of organized physical activity. He lost ground there, and has been playing catch-up ever since. (Here's an article by Dr. Sears which talks about this problem.)
Vitamin D deficiency is the latest buzz in early detection and treatment. I was surprised when my endo ordered a whole Vitamin D panel on my last bloodwork. I'm coming in on the low side of normal, but still within range -- the value we're shooting for is 50, and I was at 39, which isn't too far off. (The dr was not concerned). What's the big deal? From Science News Online:
over the past decade and especially the past 5 years, research has linked a broad range of additional benefits to having ample vitamin D. It's shown that the nutrient fights cancers and diabetes, is the pivotal feedstock for a hormone that protects muscle, and inhibits autoimmune disorders from multiple sclerosis and lupus to inflammatory bowel disease.Who knew? Not me, and I thought I was relatively on top of this stuff.
Yoga is probably not the best exercise for preventing osteoporosis. I talked this one over with my endocrinologist also. I'm at high risk for osteoporosis because I'm tall, on the thin side (not so much these day!), and I'm on that suppressive dose of thyroid hormones to keep my cancer at bay. The new dr stressed that the joints really need to be pounded -- she suggested jumping jacks -- to get the bones to respond the way they should. It's the repeated stress on the bones that makes them grow stronger. But strength training exercises are important also.
Acute sinus infections left untreated can become chronic conditions requiring more invasive measures to resolve. The entirely personal information I learned today on this topic is that I've been to my primary care physician 5 times since August of 2006 for sinus infections. He (PCP) suggested I take this to my ENT, it may be time for a CT scan of my sinuses. But what I'm really going to do is take the vile anti-biotic he prescribed (14 days! ick!), use my Nasonex faithfully every day, and just try to get over this one and prevent another one. CT scans are expensive and I'd rather not unless I absolutely have to. Fortunately I have a good game plan and rather comprehensive information.
Sometimes, the intended use of the drug is "off-label" even though it's exactly on point. Case in point: bile acid sequestrants are often prescribed to post-cholecystecomy (gallbladder removal) patients, because without a gallbladder, too much bile flows into the intestines causing various "digestive transit" problems. My g/e doc prescribed some Cholestyramine for me. Reading the drug information sheet, I noticed there was not a word on it -- not anywhere -- about this use. The closest it came was noting that it can relieve itching associated with liver disease. Fortunately, the web comes through and backs up the g/e dr's treatment plan with the first hit from my "cholestryamine gallbladder" search. (You really have to know how to construct those queries!)
It's a good thing I read that sheet, too: the cholestyramine can interfere with thyroid hormones when taken too close together. Fortunately, I take my thryoid meds first thing in the morning, and the Questran will be an afternoon thing. It's not sticky or goopy like fiber drinks -- it's more fuzzy. This, I'm sure, is because it's a resin, and resins simply do not dissolve in water (what they will dissolve in, you would definitely not want to drink.)
So now I'm on a boatload of new drugs:
1)Mucinex, for the sinus infection
2) Nasonex, for the sinus infection
3) Biaxin, for the sinus infection
(damn sinus infection!)
4) Questran, for the rapid transit issue
In addition to all that, I'm still taking all my other usual meds, plus ibuprofen every four hours to take the edge of this never-ending flare.
Meds, meds, meds. What I really need to do is 1) consistently exercise and 2) consistently get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. On point 1, I'm not doing badly at all -- even swam today. Point 2 is my undoing, and I'm sure is contributing to my upwardly-creeping weight as well.
There's always tomorrow (notes time). (Ahem) Well, the rest of today...
Friday, March 16, 2007
spring breakdown
That has to be one of the most over-used puns this time of year... I don't care.
I'm up too late and wondering why and realizing it's because I'm going crazy, having to deal with the kids literally all day long.
We're not used to it. I'm not used to it, in a major way.
The real problem is that I have been going non-stop since before the workshop, and I really need a day (a school day) at home to just get everything in order without anyone else around. I can do the straightening up when there are other people around, I just prefer to do it when I'm alone and uninterrupted.
It's stupid to be taking "alone time" from sleep hours. I will pay, I know. But (ha!) it's too late now (literally).
Maybe more sleep would reduce the need for alone time? Hmmmm.
I'm up too late and wondering why and realizing it's because I'm going crazy, having to deal with the kids literally all day long.
We're not used to it. I'm not used to it, in a major way.
The real problem is that I have been going non-stop since before the workshop, and I really need a day (a school day) at home to just get everything in order without anyone else around. I can do the straightening up when there are other people around, I just prefer to do it when I'm alone and uninterrupted.
It's stupid to be taking "alone time" from sleep hours. I will pay, I know. But (ha!) it's too late now (literally).
Maybe more sleep would reduce the need for alone time? Hmmmm.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
the great experiment
It's always interesting when the subject is yourself. The current experiment involves dropping the Cytomel (T3) from my drug regimen and seeing how I do on a straight T4 (Levoxyl) regimen. I have been on a combined T4/T3 dosage since 2002, because I believed that the T3 would help with all my auto-immune issues (Hashimoto's thyroiditis, rheumatoid arthritis, etc).
To date, my RA has been remarkably mild and stable, for the most part. I have been flaring for the past 3 or 4 weeks, but I've also been under a lot of extra stress and I have also, sadly, fallen out of the habit of doing my daily exercises. The exercises make a huge difference, as does getting enough sleep. So even though I'm feeling rather crummy these days, RA-wise, I'm tending to blame it on lack of exercise and lack of sleep, rather than the disease advancing or anything like that.
So, after all these years on the T4/T3 combination, why am I doing this now? Well, the T3 costs me more than $800/year. If I can safely drop it, and still feel well, that's $800 (actually closer to $900) I don't have to spend on T3. I honestly don't know whether or not it's helping, and I won't know until I'm off for a while -- hence, the experiment. As a long-time champion of the combined T4/T3 regimen, I have a sense that I should feel guilty about going off the T3 -- but I don't. If I don't need it, why take it?
Today is day 2 off the T3. I'll go for bloodwork in about 6 weeks to see how all my thyroid hormone levels are doing; my T4 may need a little tweaking to make up for the absence of T3. That's OK -- I can get a year's supply of T4 for $60, including shipping charges.
Note that I'm doing this under my new endocrinologist's supervision -- it's a very bad idea for thyca patients to tinker with their meds without talking to their doctors, first. Happily, my last ultrasound came back unremarkable, and my Tg was OK, too. We'll gear up for another round of Thyrogen and a nuclear scan in August, just to keep an eye on things -- and if that one's clear, I'm hoping we can scale the testing back to every 2 or 3 years with periodic bloodwork monitoring.
It's quite a relief to have this feeling that I'm over the active phase of my cancer. Even if it's not true (the doubt still creeps in occasionally), it's still nice to feel like it's OK to get on with life and not worry so much all the time.
To date, my RA has been remarkably mild and stable, for the most part. I have been flaring for the past 3 or 4 weeks, but I've also been under a lot of extra stress and I have also, sadly, fallen out of the habit of doing my daily exercises. The exercises make a huge difference, as does getting enough sleep. So even though I'm feeling rather crummy these days, RA-wise, I'm tending to blame it on lack of exercise and lack of sleep, rather than the disease advancing or anything like that.
So, after all these years on the T4/T3 combination, why am I doing this now? Well, the T3 costs me more than $800/year. If I can safely drop it, and still feel well, that's $800 (actually closer to $900) I don't have to spend on T3. I honestly don't know whether or not it's helping, and I won't know until I'm off for a while -- hence, the experiment. As a long-time champion of the combined T4/T3 regimen, I have a sense that I should feel guilty about going off the T3 -- but I don't. If I don't need it, why take it?
Today is day 2 off the T3. I'll go for bloodwork in about 6 weeks to see how all my thyroid hormone levels are doing; my T4 may need a little tweaking to make up for the absence of T3. That's OK -- I can get a year's supply of T4 for $60, including shipping charges.
Note that I'm doing this under my new endocrinologist's supervision -- it's a very bad idea for thyca patients to tinker with their meds without talking to their doctors, first. Happily, my last ultrasound came back unremarkable, and my Tg was OK, too. We'll gear up for another round of Thyrogen and a nuclear scan in August, just to keep an eye on things -- and if that one's clear, I'm hoping we can scale the testing back to every 2 or 3 years with periodic bloodwork monitoring.
It's quite a relief to have this feeling that I'm over the active phase of my cancer. Even if it's not true (the doubt still creeps in occasionally), it's still nice to feel like it's OK to get on with life and not worry so much all the time.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
half past busy, quarter til dead
I'm exhausted.
Mom left Monday morning, and it feels like my responsibilities exploded at the same time.
Work: Monday, Wednesday, today and tomorrow -- but tomorrow is an early release day, so that's not too bad. Monday was fifth grade, OK. Yesterday was middle school language arts, and that was a pip because all the classes had library/computer time. Today and tomorrow: second grade. Oy. Even though the class is small, it's still frazzling.
I'd been trying to figure out why that is and I realized that part of the problem is that DD, who is in second grade, is more mature than most of these kids. Of course she's older than most of them, having a birthday in early November, but that's not all that's going on. Some of it is personality and capabilities, and some of it I can chalk up to "behaviors I will not put up with," like baby talk. I can't imagine using baby talk to a teacher ever, but I've run into it a few times this week, and not just in second grade. Weird.
When I haven't been at work, I've been trying to get other stuff done like taking DH's car to have the tires rotated and balanced, or grocery shopping, or finally trekking over to the swim shop in Tempe for DD's fins and stuff for the swim team. Also house cleaning, which went long neglected in the run-up to the workshop, and laundry, which falls back to me since Mom isn't here to do it anymore.
I'm ready for spring break! And I'm ready to find out my test results. I choked on my own spit twice today, once in class -- fortunately not while I was doing a class lesson. I can't have that thing happening in school with any frequency, it's too disturbing. It's not that I'm actually choking or in any danger at all (not even in danger of having a panic attack), it just looks and sounds very bad. Can't go scaring the little ones! So if it's not recurrence then I shall try to get in to see my ENT to hear what he says.
Meanwhile, Cooper had ear mites but no urinary tract infection, so there's no explanation for him peeing on the clean laundry other than him marking it for his own (ewww).
Yes, I'm quite comfortable. Why do you ask?
We've just determined Alice (above) is deaf, and that will necessitate another trip to the vet for a check-up to see if there's anything we can do for her. She's a happy cat so I shouldn't feel sad for her, I know, but at this point in the week I am so depleted that every little thing falls like an anvil.
Obviously I need to work on both my physical and emotional stamina.
Mom left Monday morning, and it feels like my responsibilities exploded at the same time.
Work: Monday, Wednesday, today and tomorrow -- but tomorrow is an early release day, so that's not too bad. Monday was fifth grade, OK. Yesterday was middle school language arts, and that was a pip because all the classes had library/computer time. Today and tomorrow: second grade. Oy. Even though the class is small, it's still frazzling.
I'd been trying to figure out why that is and I realized that part of the problem is that DD, who is in second grade, is more mature than most of these kids. Of course she's older than most of them, having a birthday in early November, but that's not all that's going on. Some of it is personality and capabilities, and some of it I can chalk up to "behaviors I will not put up with," like baby talk. I can't imagine using baby talk to a teacher ever, but I've run into it a few times this week, and not just in second grade. Weird.
When I haven't been at work, I've been trying to get other stuff done like taking DH's car to have the tires rotated and balanced, or grocery shopping, or finally trekking over to the swim shop in Tempe for DD's fins and stuff for the swim team. Also house cleaning, which went long neglected in the run-up to the workshop, and laundry, which falls back to me since Mom isn't here to do it anymore.
I'm ready for spring break! And I'm ready to find out my test results. I choked on my own spit twice today, once in class -- fortunately not while I was doing a class lesson. I can't have that thing happening in school with any frequency, it's too disturbing. It's not that I'm actually choking or in any danger at all (not even in danger of having a panic attack), it just looks and sounds very bad. Can't go scaring the little ones! So if it's not recurrence then I shall try to get in to see my ENT to hear what he says.
Meanwhile, Cooper had ear mites but no urinary tract infection, so there's no explanation for him peeing on the clean laundry other than him marking it for his own (ewww).
We've just determined Alice (above) is deaf, and that will necessitate another trip to the vet for a check-up to see if there's anything we can do for her. She's a happy cat so I shouldn't feel sad for her, I know, but at this point in the week I am so depleted that every little thing falls like an anvil.
Obviously I need to work on both my physical and emotional stamina.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
"I heard there's a riot going on down here"
So sayeth the security guard, late yesterday morning, as he sauntered down the hall towards our conference rooms.
Yes, I replied, but we've got all them all safely contained in there now.
We all cracked up. ("We" being me and the other two or three women who were staffing the registration desk and generally rounding up stragglers.)
To say the workshop (the first Arizona Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Workshop, that is) was a success would be an understatement. Apparently, our first time out of the gate, we managed to hold the largest regional ThyCa workshop ever, with 118 registered attendees.
It was just an unbelievable day. So many people saying things like, "I never knew anything like this existed," and "No one has ever even heard of this disease," and "I am my doctor's only thyroid cancer patient, I get to be his teaching case," and on and on and on. So many "thank you"s, so many "This is fantastic!"
We were all quite overwhelmed -- and that includes the speakers. The sense of gratitude and relief among the survivors and their families and friends was palpable. Everyone was talking to their neighbors and sharing their stories, giving advice or just commiserating. It was awesome.
I remember the relief I felt when I found real live people to talk to about my thyroid cancer. Yesterday, I saw that look mirrored in dozens of people's eyes, the recognition: I am not alone.
We worked hard and we helped a lot of people.
Sure feels good.
Yes, I replied, but we've got all them all safely contained in there now.
We all cracked up. ("We" being me and the other two or three women who were staffing the registration desk and generally rounding up stragglers.)
To say the workshop (the first Arizona Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Workshop, that is) was a success would be an understatement. Apparently, our first time out of the gate, we managed to hold the largest regional ThyCa workshop ever, with 118 registered attendees.
It was just an unbelievable day. So many people saying things like, "I never knew anything like this existed," and "No one has ever even heard of this disease," and "I am my doctor's only thyroid cancer patient, I get to be his teaching case," and on and on and on. So many "thank you"s, so many "This is fantastic!"
We were all quite overwhelmed -- and that includes the speakers. The sense of gratitude and relief among the survivors and their families and friends was palpable. Everyone was talking to their neighbors and sharing their stories, giving advice or just commiserating. It was awesome.
I remember the relief I felt when I found real live people to talk to about my thyroid cancer. Yesterday, I saw that look mirrored in dozens of people's eyes, the recognition: I am not alone.
We worked hard and we helped a lot of people.
Sure feels good.
Friday, March 02, 2007
ready?
The van's all packed up, my lunch is waiting for me in the fridge, and as far as I can tell, I haven't forgotten anything, and I've managed to think of some things to bring that might be helpful in emergencies (kleenex, tape, scissors, that kind of thing. And chocolate.) I've even written my intro speech.
Tomorrow's the big day: the first ever Arizona Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Workshop.
Even with traffic closures on Loop 101, I'm sure we'll have a great day.
Tomorrow's the big day: the first ever Arizona Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Workshop.
Even with traffic closures on Loop 101, I'm sure we'll have a great day.
Doctors: how to annoy your new patient
First Visit
When she arrives in the office, make sure the reception desk staff ignores her completely for one to two minutes while they finish up whatever tasks they are doing.
When she gives her name -- and hands over her insurance card -- make sure the receptionist can't find her appointment. If the patient then corrects the spelling of her last name and points out her time slot to the receptionist, instruct the receptionist to say nothing more than, "Oh."
Accept only the office's new patient information forms from the patient. Require a blank stare in answer to all questions regarding other medical records the patient has brought with her. Make the patient ask several times what to do with the records before finally telling her to hold onto them and give them to the doctor during the appointment.
Do not call the patient in for her appointment until at least 45 minutes past her appointment time.
Kick off the appointment with the obviously-correct-nearly-all-the-time assertion that the patient is "a typical case and just needs the usual follow-up." After all, there was no need to even skim through that new patient information packet, right?
Allow the office staff to interrupt you when with a patient as much as they like. Can't find an insurance code? No problem! The patient can wait.
Insist on scheduling scan appointments and follow-up appointments separately, without consideration for the fact that the patient lives well over an hour's drive away.
Send the patient off with an incomplete lab slip for blood draws, and have office staff call her on her cell phone to tell her what other tests need to be ordered.
(Blood work was done a few days after the first appointment.)
Second Visit, about 2 weeks after the first
Once again, make sure office staff focus only on their very important phone calls, and do not acknowledge the physically-present patient with even a flicker of eye contact. The fact that they are on the phone gives them license to ignore a patient for up to a full five minutes.
Make sure that the patient waits for a minimum of 30 minutes past her appointment time, again -- consistency is key!
Make sure the financial responsibility form states that the patient will be having a test that is no longer possible because the organ to be scanned was removed a year and a half ago.
When the patient informs the tech that the release form is wholly inapplicable, make sure the technician responds, "Oh, I didn't look at your history" so that the patient knows just how thorough your practice is.
During a scan, never ever give any information to the patient regarding what you're seeing.
If the patient asks for a copy of her lab test results, ask her if you have reviewed them with her yet. If the answer is "No, but I want them for my personal records anyway," refuse to comply and state that you will give her a copy at the follow-up appointment in two weeks.
Leave the examination room while the patient is still straightening up, post-exam, so that you don't have to deal with any potentially troublesome questions.
* * *
Every single one of these things has happened to me recently with a doctor who came very, very highly recommended. I'm giving this doc one more shot -- the aforementioned follow-up meeting in two weeks. We'll see how that goes. My expectations are set very low. I just want to get my tests results and get out.
Of course, if the test results reveal anything requiring treatment, I'll be needing to deal with this doctor a lot more. But I'm going to remain optimistic and say everything's fine, in which case I won't need to go back for six months. I think I can live with that. It's a pain but less of a pain than going all the way to Houston.
When she arrives in the office, make sure the reception desk staff ignores her completely for one to two minutes while they finish up whatever tasks they are doing.
When she gives her name -- and hands over her insurance card -- make sure the receptionist can't find her appointment. If the patient then corrects the spelling of her last name and points out her time slot to the receptionist, instruct the receptionist to say nothing more than, "Oh."
Accept only the office's new patient information forms from the patient. Require a blank stare in answer to all questions regarding other medical records the patient has brought with her. Make the patient ask several times what to do with the records before finally telling her to hold onto them and give them to the doctor during the appointment.
Do not call the patient in for her appointment until at least 45 minutes past her appointment time.
Kick off the appointment with the obviously-correct-nearly-all-the-time assertion that the patient is "a typical case and just needs the usual follow-up." After all, there was no need to even skim through that new patient information packet, right?
Allow the office staff to interrupt you when with a patient as much as they like. Can't find an insurance code? No problem! The patient can wait.
Insist on scheduling scan appointments and follow-up appointments separately, without consideration for the fact that the patient lives well over an hour's drive away.
Send the patient off with an incomplete lab slip for blood draws, and have office staff call her on her cell phone to tell her what other tests need to be ordered.
(Blood work was done a few days after the first appointment.)
Second Visit, about 2 weeks after the first
Once again, make sure office staff focus only on their very important phone calls, and do not acknowledge the physically-present patient with even a flicker of eye contact. The fact that they are on the phone gives them license to ignore a patient for up to a full five minutes.
Make sure that the patient waits for a minimum of 30 minutes past her appointment time, again -- consistency is key!
Make sure the financial responsibility form states that the patient will be having a test that is no longer possible because the organ to be scanned was removed a year and a half ago.
When the patient informs the tech that the release form is wholly inapplicable, make sure the technician responds, "Oh, I didn't look at your history" so that the patient knows just how thorough your practice is.
During a scan, never ever give any information to the patient regarding what you're seeing.
If the patient asks for a copy of her lab test results, ask her if you have reviewed them with her yet. If the answer is "No, but I want them for my personal records anyway," refuse to comply and state that you will give her a copy at the follow-up appointment in two weeks.
Leave the examination room while the patient is still straightening up, post-exam, so that you don't have to deal with any potentially troublesome questions.
* * *
Every single one of these things has happened to me recently with a doctor who came very, very highly recommended. I'm giving this doc one more shot -- the aforementioned follow-up meeting in two weeks. We'll see how that goes. My expectations are set very low. I just want to get my tests results and get out.
Of course, if the test results reveal anything requiring treatment, I'll be needing to deal with this doctor a lot more. But I'm going to remain optimistic and say everything's fine, in which case I won't need to go back for six months. I think I can live with that. It's a pain but less of a pain than going all the way to Houston.
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