After all that whining earlier, today turned out to be a really fantastic, productive day.
I'm at the beginning of a new adventure, but I'm not going to say more because the details are not nailed down yet. I will say that it's nice to be able to put my various talents to good use -- to shake myself out of the ridiculous funk I sometimes find myself in, of believing that I'm good-for-nothing. How absurd!
The further my surgeries recede into the past, the more willing I am to just do it. It's horrible to quote an athletic shoe ad but there it is -- there's nothing holding me back any more. From time to time I have a moment of paralyzing negative conjecture, but I let it go. Jump off that bridge when the time comes, right?
For now, I'm just thinking: I can do this.