...
Feeling unwell, sad, overwhelmed.
There's nothing wrong at all, except with me.
There's some cyclical/hormonal stuff going on and that's not helping, I'm sure.
Gotta go sleep... I know it will help even though the nattering negative voice in my head is saying, "What's the use? It won't make a difference, you'll still feel this crummy in the morning."
Hate this.
Friday, August 06, 2004
failure mom
...
it was a dreadful day with the kids today. I screamed at all of them, all of them did scream-worthily bad things, like stomping on little brother's foot or not going to pee even after admitting the need, and ending up peeing all over the bathroom floor later because there wasn't enough time (or coordination) to make it to the toilet on time... oops just remembered wet laundry in the machine! Arg...
OK, well, now I'll have a load of wrinkled laundry in the morning, but at least it won't be growing anything. That stuff has been sitting in the washer for about 10 hours now, maybe 12...
Anyway. Days like today make me feel like a failure mom. Seriously, I must be pretty bad if my kids think it is OK to pitch blocks down the stairs, right? I was on the phone for about a half-an-hour with tech support, finally getting Outlook to work on this damn machine (and I think I have found a bug, whee!). Of course this entailed being on hold several times. At least 3 of those times I had to screech at the offspring to go play elsewhere, since they were being rowdy and I couldn't hear myself think. This is after I told them I needed them to be quiet because I was going to be on the phone.
They could see I was on the phone, they just didn't care. So when I got off the phone, finally, the first thing I see is the entire box of Jenga blocks all down the stairs and in the dining room (which is the room at the bottom of the stairs).
I did something interesting, though, perhaps it's twisted. I assembled them all and asked them if they thought it was OK to have blocks all down the stairs. I didn't scream or anything at that point, although I was pretty flinty. They agreed it was not a good thing, and offered to go and pick them up, but I said, "No, I want Daddy to see this when he gets home." Of course, they just freaked out.
So I tried to make the point to them that they seemed to think it was OK to pull this crap when I was around, but that they would never do it to their father. They don't get how they respect (or maybe it's just fear) their father more than they do me. I'm such a fucking push-over, they walk all over me and I am sooooo tired of it.
Eventually I took pictures of the block mess (purely an intimidation tactic, and it works really well with the digital camera) and then made them clean it up.
After the block incident, things went pretty much downhill, because then we had the foot-stomping incident and the peeing incident.
I made steak for dinner, at least that came out -- I must say -- awesome. Then we had cake and whipped cream and raspberries for dessert, so that was good too although I am hungry now, which is not surprising since I haven't eaten or drunk anything in 6 hours. It's only to be expected, right?
Bah. I'm struggling now -- mentally, physically -- because I don't want to be here. I don't want this life right now. I want to be back at the beach, but it's time to grow up and deal with things. Staying up late is only making it worse, but somehow it gives me the illusion of control, I can control this one aspect of my life even if I can't ever seem to control those children. Of course I can't control the children, they have to learn to control themselves, but honestly? I'm tired of having to smack them to get them to pay attention to me.
My left piriformis is killing me, having reached the throb stage. No amount of stretching/popping/whatever is giving me any relief these days, and I'm not lifting anything or sitting badly, although I do believe I sleep badly. Damned if I know how to prevent that. I fall asleep in a "safe" aligned position, and wake up with the left knee up and the right leg down. It feels comfortable but I'm sure it's rotating the joints out of alignment.
I put that hip back in at least twice a day and it's still killing me. I'm having some kind of flare or just a reaction to the lack of sleep, because hands and feet have crept up to 4 or 5 the past 2 days as well. I first attributed it to putting the chairs together Monday night (and that may indeed be a factor), but there isn't any swelling, just ... pain.
I'm sure the pain is related to the lack of sleep. That was one thing, over vacation I did get more sleep than I have allowed myself since I've been home. I still feel profoundly unsettled, and that's not helping anything.
I think this happens every year when I get back here. I freak out and it takes me a while to calm down. This year is worse because I actually got to go to the beach and I love it there, so i had that taste of heaven, yet simultaneously I still did not get to do a ton of stuff I wanted to: did not get into Boston once, didn't get to see friends R&S, didn't get to go to Kimble's for ice cream, or on the Swan Boats or... what is the point? The list is endless. I think, "Someday, someday..."
I did get to spend 2 awesome days with my sister. I think those were 2 of the best days of my whole summer. When I was very little we shared a room. I think I've been missing her ever since I moved out, even though I wanted to move out. She's got such a spark, so much life, even with all that is going on around her with her own family. Now, her older daughter is a lot like me, it's funny. DSis often calls me her DD's name, and her DD, mine... I can totally see why. It's funny to see so much of myself in my niece. I'm glad I waited until I was older to have my kids, I was finally able to relax and release some of my control freak tendencies. Her DD is still trying to control the uncontrollable... she'll figure it out someday.
Well, I have to do my teeth, get my meds together, and go to bed, or else tomorrow will be worse than today. For 2 days now I have put off taking the kids out because they have just been imps, but maybe tomorrow I will venture out with them. I want to finish getting this network setup, and that necessitates a trip to Circuit City to purchase another wireless adapter. I also need to do some more software tweaking, whee!
I made a bunch of appointments today, dentist for me and all 3 kids, and my mammogram. I really should call the dermatologist for a mole check, too, but I don't want to... I don't think it has been 6 months yet. I did notice two darker (approaching black) spots on the back of my right leg... damn them, I can't look at the back of my leg about the knee, do you know how hard that is? Everywhere else I see regularly (even my back, I give it a quick glance on the way out of the shower) but damn, not the backs of my thighs...I just thought to look the other day, and there were these 2 ugly spots. I don't want to get cut again, but I know it's coming. You should see the nasty marks I've got from where the cyst was removed in the spring. You can still see the 2-inch penumbra of bruising from the bandage. It has been 2 or 3 months now, I wonder when that will go away?
Over at LCT, someone asked, do you like how you look naked? In twilight, yes... you can't see the scars or the bruises or the various discolorations (dark and light), then. I'm about at my tiniest healthy weight, somewhere around 125lbs, having not really gained anything over vacation and losing again now that we're home and I'm apparently freaking out.
School starts next week. Not sure whether that will help or hurt, but it will be a change and it's certainly something to look forward to.
it was a dreadful day with the kids today. I screamed at all of them, all of them did scream-worthily bad things, like stomping on little brother's foot or not going to pee even after admitting the need, and ending up peeing all over the bathroom floor later because there wasn't enough time (or coordination) to make it to the toilet on time... oops just remembered wet laundry in the machine! Arg...
OK, well, now I'll have a load of wrinkled laundry in the morning, but at least it won't be growing anything. That stuff has been sitting in the washer for about 10 hours now, maybe 12...
Anyway. Days like today make me feel like a failure mom. Seriously, I must be pretty bad if my kids think it is OK to pitch blocks down the stairs, right? I was on the phone for about a half-an-hour with tech support, finally getting Outlook to work on this damn machine (and I think I have found a bug, whee!). Of course this entailed being on hold several times. At least 3 of those times I had to screech at the offspring to go play elsewhere, since they were being rowdy and I couldn't hear myself think. This is after I told them I needed them to be quiet because I was going to be on the phone.
They could see I was on the phone, they just didn't care. So when I got off the phone, finally, the first thing I see is the entire box of Jenga blocks all down the stairs and in the dining room (which is the room at the bottom of the stairs).
I did something interesting, though, perhaps it's twisted. I assembled them all and asked them if they thought it was OK to have blocks all down the stairs. I didn't scream or anything at that point, although I was pretty flinty. They agreed it was not a good thing, and offered to go and pick them up, but I said, "No, I want Daddy to see this when he gets home." Of course, they just freaked out.
So I tried to make the point to them that they seemed to think it was OK to pull this crap when I was around, but that they would never do it to their father. They don't get how they respect (or maybe it's just fear) their father more than they do me. I'm such a fucking push-over, they walk all over me and I am sooooo tired of it.
Eventually I took pictures of the block mess (purely an intimidation tactic, and it works really well with the digital camera) and then made them clean it up.
After the block incident, things went pretty much downhill, because then we had the foot-stomping incident and the peeing incident.
I made steak for dinner, at least that came out -- I must say -- awesome. Then we had cake and whipped cream and raspberries for dessert, so that was good too although I am hungry now, which is not surprising since I haven't eaten or drunk anything in 6 hours. It's only to be expected, right?
Bah. I'm struggling now -- mentally, physically -- because I don't want to be here. I don't want this life right now. I want to be back at the beach, but it's time to grow up and deal with things. Staying up late is only making it worse, but somehow it gives me the illusion of control, I can control this one aspect of my life even if I can't ever seem to control those children. Of course I can't control the children, they have to learn to control themselves, but honestly? I'm tired of having to smack them to get them to pay attention to me.
My left piriformis is killing me, having reached the throb stage. No amount of stretching/popping/whatever is giving me any relief these days, and I'm not lifting anything or sitting badly, although I do believe I sleep badly. Damned if I know how to prevent that. I fall asleep in a "safe" aligned position, and wake up with the left knee up and the right leg down. It feels comfortable but I'm sure it's rotating the joints out of alignment.
I put that hip back in at least twice a day and it's still killing me. I'm having some kind of flare or just a reaction to the lack of sleep, because hands and feet have crept up to 4 or 5 the past 2 days as well. I first attributed it to putting the chairs together Monday night (and that may indeed be a factor), but there isn't any swelling, just ... pain.
I'm sure the pain is related to the lack of sleep. That was one thing, over vacation I did get more sleep than I have allowed myself since I've been home. I still feel profoundly unsettled, and that's not helping anything.
I think this happens every year when I get back here. I freak out and it takes me a while to calm down. This year is worse because I actually got to go to the beach and I love it there, so i had that taste of heaven, yet simultaneously I still did not get to do a ton of stuff I wanted to: did not get into Boston once, didn't get to see friends R&S, didn't get to go to Kimble's for ice cream, or on the Swan Boats or... what is the point? The list is endless. I think, "Someday, someday..."
I did get to spend 2 awesome days with my sister. I think those were 2 of the best days of my whole summer. When I was very little we shared a room. I think I've been missing her ever since I moved out, even though I wanted to move out. She's got such a spark, so much life, even with all that is going on around her with her own family. Now, her older daughter is a lot like me, it's funny. DSis often calls me her DD's name, and her DD, mine... I can totally see why. It's funny to see so much of myself in my niece. I'm glad I waited until I was older to have my kids, I was finally able to relax and release some of my control freak tendencies. Her DD is still trying to control the uncontrollable... she'll figure it out someday.
Well, I have to do my teeth, get my meds together, and go to bed, or else tomorrow will be worse than today. For 2 days now I have put off taking the kids out because they have just been imps, but maybe tomorrow I will venture out with them. I want to finish getting this network setup, and that necessitates a trip to Circuit City to purchase another wireless adapter. I also need to do some more software tweaking, whee!
I made a bunch of appointments today, dentist for me and all 3 kids, and my mammogram. I really should call the dermatologist for a mole check, too, but I don't want to... I don't think it has been 6 months yet. I did notice two darker (approaching black) spots on the back of my right leg... damn them, I can't look at the back of my leg about the knee, do you know how hard that is? Everywhere else I see regularly (even my back, I give it a quick glance on the way out of the shower) but damn, not the backs of my thighs...I just thought to look the other day, and there were these 2 ugly spots. I don't want to get cut again, but I know it's coming. You should see the nasty marks I've got from where the cyst was removed in the spring. You can still see the 2-inch penumbra of bruising from the bandage. It has been 2 or 3 months now, I wonder when that will go away?
Over at LCT, someone asked, do you like how you look naked? In twilight, yes... you can't see the scars or the bruises or the various discolorations (dark and light), then. I'm about at my tiniest healthy weight, somewhere around 125lbs, having not really gained anything over vacation and losing again now that we're home and I'm apparently freaking out.
School starts next week. Not sure whether that will help or hurt, but it will be a change and it's certainly something to look forward to.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
home again, home again
...
I'm still not settled in, even now that we have been home a week.
And I'm 41 years old now! Whoo-hoo! I'm really hoping that 41 will be a way better year. 39 completely sucked, and 40 was only marginally better (incorporating as it did 2 major surgeries), but now with the minocycline therapy I am feeling much better.
Or, I would be feeling much better if I didn't keep staying up stupid late (that is, later than 2AM, so late I'm ashamed to admit it even to myself, much less DH or anyone else) watching TiVO'd shows or movies on STARZ or something equally stupid. In my own defense, the past couple of days I have had naps in the evening, and that seems to set me up for not wanting to go to bed at a decent hour. Today I got my nap in around 3:30, so hopefully I can get to bed at a human time.
So, I'm not settled because of this stupid new PC. I do love it, but the setup has just been a PITA. I can't get the mail rules to run properly in either Outlook or Outlook Express, when they worked just fine on the old PC. Stupid Microsoft products.
Last weekend I did major shopping for back to school, but also new office chairs -- 3 student chairs for the kids, and a back chair for me. I put them together Monday night, and my hands have been sore the past couple of days as a result. I know this chair is supposed to be good for my back and hips etc but I'm still not sold. The problem is what to do with my feet. I need to pad the bottom bar, where I end up resting the top of my feet... it's kinda hard to describe (and not worth the effort), but for long periods of time, I'm OK, except for my toes/feet! Definitely need to do something about that. It would probably be OK if I had on socks but I'm not about to wear socks when it's 100+ outside. Hee!
My overall energy level has been pretty good (especially considering I've been getting less than 6 hours of sleep a night.)
I've got lots of stuff rumbling around in my brain but no clear desire to express it. I've been frustrated with the kids lately and with my own response to them... it's just something we all need to work through. I'm not looking forward to school, really, since it means a lot of running around. But it will give the kids something else to do besides pick on each other when they get bored!
I'm still not settled in, even now that we have been home a week.
And I'm 41 years old now! Whoo-hoo! I'm really hoping that 41 will be a way better year. 39 completely sucked, and 40 was only marginally better (incorporating as it did 2 major surgeries), but now with the minocycline therapy I am feeling much better.
Or, I would be feeling much better if I didn't keep staying up stupid late (that is, later than 2AM, so late I'm ashamed to admit it even to myself, much less DH or anyone else) watching TiVO'd shows or movies on STARZ or something equally stupid. In my own defense, the past couple of days I have had naps in the evening, and that seems to set me up for not wanting to go to bed at a decent hour. Today I got my nap in around 3:30, so hopefully I can get to bed at a human time.
So, I'm not settled because of this stupid new PC. I do love it, but the setup has just been a PITA. I can't get the mail rules to run properly in either Outlook or Outlook Express, when they worked just fine on the old PC. Stupid Microsoft products.
Last weekend I did major shopping for back to school, but also new office chairs -- 3 student chairs for the kids, and a back chair for me. I put them together Monday night, and my hands have been sore the past couple of days as a result. I know this chair is supposed to be good for my back and hips etc but I'm still not sold. The problem is what to do with my feet. I need to pad the bottom bar, where I end up resting the top of my feet... it's kinda hard to describe (and not worth the effort), but for long periods of time, I'm OK, except for my toes/feet! Definitely need to do something about that. It would probably be OK if I had on socks but I'm not about to wear socks when it's 100+ outside. Hee!
My overall energy level has been pretty good (especially considering I've been getting less than 6 hours of sleep a night.)
I've got lots of stuff rumbling around in my brain but no clear desire to express it. I've been frustrated with the kids lately and with my own response to them... it's just something we all need to work through. I'm not looking forward to school, really, since it means a lot of running around. But it will give the kids something else to do besides pick on each other when they get bored!
Monday, July 26, 2004
winding down
...
Only one full day of vacation left, now. *sigh*
It was cool today, just over 70 degrees, and the sun was off-and-on, but we finally said, OK, let's go to the beach, in the late afternoon... surprisingly, it was calm and there were no waves to speak of when we got there. DS2 had such fun marching in and out of the water, even though the air felt very cold once you got out of the warm water. I didn't swim today, DH went in with the kids and I looked for shells for a dear friend back in AZ... slim pickings, but I did find her some small pretty ones.
On the beach today I was overcome with resistance to the idea of leaving. See, I know, really and truly, that living here is not the same as visiting on vacation. It isn't always summer. It doesn't always look this glorious. Even though we haven't had idyllic weather, it has still been nice... no hot humid muggy days except for when we were in CT which was OK because the ILs have a/c! Timing is everything...
I told DH I didn't want to leave. He said, "Well, get your writing career going so we can buy a house out here," and he was only half-kidding, or perhaps not kidding at all. He likes it here, too. So that's an interesting thought, a new goal, past the kids' college educations and just keeping everything paid up and saving for the eventual new cars and vacations and what not: what would it really take for us to get a house out here? Lots and lots o' cash, that's for sure...
Still, I think this vacation has gone very well, and I don't see any reason why I can't do it again next year. That's something to look forward to... I'm sad I didn't get into Boston at all, but with the DNC starting, it was a mess anyway, it was just not a good idea. And with DS2 getting sick that threw a wrench into the works as well. But we've had a splendid time and we'll be able to do more and more as the kids get older.
I'm thrilled with my arthritis meds. Sleeping could be better, but I'm going to wait and see how it is at home before upping the Ambien. I only take a half now, so I have a lot of leeway there. I do think my thyroid meds will need further adjustments, too, but we'll just wait and see. Right now I know there are a lot of things to be done when we get home, so I'm just going to relax for the next two days until we actually get there, and then start worrying about all that!
Last blog till we get home!
Only one full day of vacation left, now. *sigh*
It was cool today, just over 70 degrees, and the sun was off-and-on, but we finally said, OK, let's go to the beach, in the late afternoon... surprisingly, it was calm and there were no waves to speak of when we got there. DS2 had such fun marching in and out of the water, even though the air felt very cold once you got out of the warm water. I didn't swim today, DH went in with the kids and I looked for shells for a dear friend back in AZ... slim pickings, but I did find her some small pretty ones.
On the beach today I was overcome with resistance to the idea of leaving. See, I know, really and truly, that living here is not the same as visiting on vacation. It isn't always summer. It doesn't always look this glorious. Even though we haven't had idyllic weather, it has still been nice... no hot humid muggy days except for when we were in CT which was OK because the ILs have a/c! Timing is everything...
I told DH I didn't want to leave. He said, "Well, get your writing career going so we can buy a house out here," and he was only half-kidding, or perhaps not kidding at all. He likes it here, too. So that's an interesting thought, a new goal, past the kids' college educations and just keeping everything paid up and saving for the eventual new cars and vacations and what not: what would it really take for us to get a house out here? Lots and lots o' cash, that's for sure...
Still, I think this vacation has gone very well, and I don't see any reason why I can't do it again next year. That's something to look forward to... I'm sad I didn't get into Boston at all, but with the DNC starting, it was a mess anyway, it was just not a good idea. And with DS2 getting sick that threw a wrench into the works as well. But we've had a splendid time and we'll be able to do more and more as the kids get older.
I'm thrilled with my arthritis meds. Sleeping could be better, but I'm going to wait and see how it is at home before upping the Ambien. I only take a half now, so I have a lot of leeway there. I do think my thyroid meds will need further adjustments, too, but we'll just wait and see. Right now I know there are a lot of things to be done when we get home, so I'm just going to relax for the next two days until we actually get there, and then start worrying about all that!
Last blog till we get home!
Thursday, July 22, 2004
adrift amidst the charms of New England
...
it's lovely here.
We alternating doing too much with doing nothing, and there has been way too much eating going on, too.
Took the kids to Mystic Aquarium with my MIL today, as DH and FIL drove into Boston to go to Fenway and watch the Sox lose the first half of a double-header. It was a long day, but fun. DS2 is getting heavy! The drive was really pretty, and I even glimpsed a few masts and some riggings of the tall ships as we drove over the bridge in New London.
I'll have to fill in later, there's too much to say and not much time to say it in...
it's lovely here.
We alternating doing too much with doing nothing, and there has been way too much eating going on, too.
Took the kids to Mystic Aquarium with my MIL today, as DH and FIL drove into Boston to go to Fenway and watch the Sox lose the first half of a double-header. It was a long day, but fun. DS2 is getting heavy! The drive was really pretty, and I even glimpsed a few masts and some riggings of the tall ships as we drove over the bridge in New London.
I'll have to fill in later, there's too much to say and not much time to say it in...
Friday, July 16, 2004
unexpected beach
...
The weather cleared out yesterday afternoon, so I was hopeful we'd be able to go to the beach today. Success!
The kids were up around 6:30AM. How cruel. Especially since they didn't get to bed very early, either.
At any rate, we went out for lunch to Seafood Sam's (not as good as Sandy's, but good) and then to Chappaquoit, where it was very very windy and the waves were huge. DS1 had a blast jumping in the waves again, and DD joined him periodically. I was afraid she would get washed out to sea, she's such a little thing. I was right out there with them for most of the time, even though it was pretty chilly... there was quite a strong push to the waves and they kept moving down the beach, so I kept an eye on where we were and made sure we didn't go to far away from where DH was sitting with DS2. Poor little guy. He was very sleep and didn't like the wind at all, and the waves were much too rough for him.
We let them get a treat from the ice cream truck again, and again DS2 picks a superhero thing that melted all over him... fortunately I remembered that Mom had some paper towels in her trunk so that made it a little easier to deal with. Still, he was covered with goo. When they finished their snacks we loaded them up to go check out Wood Neck, hoping it would be less windy and so we could relax and they would perhaps nap on the beach (DS2, at least -- ) all 3 of them fell asleep in the car. So I took a very leisurely route home and let them nap, and then we hung out all afternoon (DH did early baths). DS1 watched The Two Towers, and it was great to see all the extra scenes, although I really wasn't able to pay it sufficient attention. DD and DS2 kept busy playing games and drawing with their new markers (I love them!)... it was a really nice day.
Tomorrow: get up, have breakfast, pack, drive to CT. Who knows what we'll be doing while we're there, DH says the forecast is not that great. Oh well... at least we got in one more really nice beach day. My hands are so tan, it's weird. But I like it. Hee!
Thank God the sun came out today because I was beginning to doubt I would ever be warm again... no such problems today.
The weather cleared out yesterday afternoon, so I was hopeful we'd be able to go to the beach today. Success!
The kids were up around 6:30AM. How cruel. Especially since they didn't get to bed very early, either.
At any rate, we went out for lunch to Seafood Sam's (not as good as Sandy's, but good) and then to Chappaquoit, where it was very very windy and the waves were huge. DS1 had a blast jumping in the waves again, and DD joined him periodically. I was afraid she would get washed out to sea, she's such a little thing. I was right out there with them for most of the time, even though it was pretty chilly... there was quite a strong push to the waves and they kept moving down the beach, so I kept an eye on where we were and made sure we didn't go to far away from where DH was sitting with DS2. Poor little guy. He was very sleep and didn't like the wind at all, and the waves were much too rough for him.
We let them get a treat from the ice cream truck again, and again DS2 picks a superhero thing that melted all over him... fortunately I remembered that Mom had some paper towels in her trunk so that made it a little easier to deal with. Still, he was covered with goo. When they finished their snacks we loaded them up to go check out Wood Neck, hoping it would be less windy and so we could relax and they would perhaps nap on the beach (DS2, at least -- ) all 3 of them fell asleep in the car. So I took a very leisurely route home and let them nap, and then we hung out all afternoon (DH did early baths). DS1 watched The Two Towers, and it was great to see all the extra scenes, although I really wasn't able to pay it sufficient attention. DD and DS2 kept busy playing games and drawing with their new markers (I love them!)... it was a really nice day.
Tomorrow: get up, have breakfast, pack, drive to CT. Who knows what we'll be doing while we're there, DH says the forecast is not that great. Oh well... at least we got in one more really nice beach day. My hands are so tan, it's weird. But I like it. Hee!
Thank God the sun came out today because I was beginning to doubt I would ever be warm again... no such problems today.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
whirlwind, or tilt-a-whirl?
...
DH came in on Tuesday, tihngs have been non-stop since then, it seems...
Kids are doing great. Weather has been pretty lousy, until this afternoon when the clouds and drizzle finally blew out. We're hoping for beach weather tomorrow, please please please?
We've been eating, driving, playing... took the kids to Battleship Cove today, that was cool. A good thing to do on a not-beach day. We're heading to CT on Saturday morning. I think I will cry if it's beach weather. Seriously.
Other things... the air mattress sprung a leak! Fortunately there are others... kids love DS1's new card game, Hisss! (DF recommends Set for when they are a little older...) Even though the weather has been pretty dreadful, the kids are wonderful, really getting along well. They haven't even been too much glued to the TV, which is amazing. They poke around outside in all the nature, or play with their animal friends from home, or draw pictures, or play games... they really are extraordinary.
We're seeing some major attitude problems with DD lately, and I'm trying to get through them without going negative on her. She needs a ton of patience and lots of hugs & kisses to get out of these goofy little funks of hers. This evening we drew some pictures together. She liked that a lot. I was surprised, but I don't know exactly why. I had a lot of fun just sitting and making a picture with markers, I don't remember the last time I did that -- used to all the time, when I was a kid/teen-ager. Hmmmm.
It's not so bad (quite wonderful, really) having DH here. I have to try and remember not to make negative assumptions about what he's going to do/think/say -- because he isn't negative. I don't know exactly why I should be doing that anyway. I think there is some pre-emptive resentment of the fact that I'm not in complete control anymore? Hee! Anyway, he's great, and the kids are so happy to have him here. And I am sleeping so much better!
Speaking of which, off to bed... I wonder if this mattress will deflate under me tonight? Always another adventure...
DH came in on Tuesday, tihngs have been non-stop since then, it seems...
Kids are doing great. Weather has been pretty lousy, until this afternoon when the clouds and drizzle finally blew out. We're hoping for beach weather tomorrow, please please please?
We've been eating, driving, playing... took the kids to Battleship Cove today, that was cool. A good thing to do on a not-beach day. We're heading to CT on Saturday morning. I think I will cry if it's beach weather. Seriously.
Other things... the air mattress sprung a leak! Fortunately there are others... kids love DS1's new card game, Hisss! (DF recommends Set for when they are a little older...) Even though the weather has been pretty dreadful, the kids are wonderful, really getting along well. They haven't even been too much glued to the TV, which is amazing. They poke around outside in all the nature, or play with their animal friends from home, or draw pictures, or play games... they really are extraordinary.
We're seeing some major attitude problems with DD lately, and I'm trying to get through them without going negative on her. She needs a ton of patience and lots of hugs & kisses to get out of these goofy little funks of hers. This evening we drew some pictures together. She liked that a lot. I was surprised, but I don't know exactly why. I had a lot of fun just sitting and making a picture with markers, I don't remember the last time I did that -- used to all the time, when I was a kid/teen-ager. Hmmmm.
It's not so bad (quite wonderful, really) having DH here. I have to try and remember not to make negative assumptions about what he's going to do/think/say -- because he isn't negative. I don't know exactly why I should be doing that anyway. I think there is some pre-emptive resentment of the fact that I'm not in complete control anymore? Hee! Anyway, he's great, and the kids are so happy to have him here. And I am sleeping so much better!
Speaking of which, off to bed... I wonder if this mattress will deflate under me tonight? Always another adventure...
Monday, July 12, 2004
end of vacation, part 1
...
Tomorrow afternoon, DH arrives. Things are going to be a lot different with him here. When it's just me & the kids, we're a lot more relaxed and go-with-the-flow. At least it seems that way. I'm not sure how we're all going to adjust to having DH here. We're in a pretty good routine now...
We're all excited about his arrival though. We have all really missed him a lot. Still, since it was our last night of vacation-from-DH, I let the kids stay up until 10 watching Pirates of the Caribbean. Say what you will, I contend that is a near-perfect movie.
Having said that, though, it was a quite a shock to me to find that my mother couldn't stand it. Yes, it's violent -- but the violence is very clean, there's barely a drop of blood in the entire movie... I'd say it's on par with any Errol Flynn movie. It's basically a live action cartoon. But Mom gave up on it after the first really good sword fight between Jack and Will at the blacksmith's workshop. I believe the word she used was "barbaric", and she was kind of annoyed at me for letting the kids watch it. (DS2 pegged it, though: "This reminds me of Peter Pan," he said.) This is the same woman who intends to screen the literally hundreds of movies she has on VHS tapes (long story) before getting rid of them... she never watches movies, and if PotC is too violent for her, the idea of her going through all those tapes becomes even more absurd. That was a telling moment.
We had a pleasant day today, even though it was cool and cloudy. We went out and did a litte shopping, got DD a beginning piano book, and then went downtown to the splendid Eight Cousins Bookshop, where I got the kids some books and a really cute card game called Hisss, where you have to build snakes. It all depends on luck, and in the last game we played I felt really guilty because I kept on drawing heads or tail pieces and I ended up with 5 snakes and DS1 had none. He handled this loss impressively well, though -- not even the slightest sign of a tantrum. I found DS2 and adorable Kipper pop-up book so of course I had to buy it even though it was $16. Yes, he's spoiled, but the truth is we all really love those books, so it's not like it was just for him.
We took a very long route home, past Wood Neck beach which is gorgeous. I hope we get to go with there with DH at least once... the forecast for the next few days is pretty bleak. C'mon, I want my beach weather back! At least with DH here, I have someone to spell me on the driving if we head up to Boston for the day...
DS2 seems to finally have turned the corner on his illness. He threw a couple of major tantrums this evening but they were just that, tantrums, not indicators of illness or anything. You can always tell when they switch from crying and screaming to laughing like turning a page... it's remarkable. He ate a little more today, too, mostly sweets of course but we'll work on real food more tomorrow. I'm relieved because I was wondering when the antibiotic was going to kick in. Seems as if it's finally working... I didn't have to give DS2 any Motrin or Tylenol today at all.
Well, now I truly have no idea what's in store for the next 2 weeks... this should be interesting, and fun, I hope!
Tomorrow afternoon, DH arrives. Things are going to be a lot different with him here. When it's just me & the kids, we're a lot more relaxed and go-with-the-flow. At least it seems that way. I'm not sure how we're all going to adjust to having DH here. We're in a pretty good routine now...
We're all excited about his arrival though. We have all really missed him a lot. Still, since it was our last night of vacation-from-DH, I let the kids stay up until 10 watching Pirates of the Caribbean. Say what you will, I contend that is a near-perfect movie.
Having said that, though, it was a quite a shock to me to find that my mother couldn't stand it. Yes, it's violent -- but the violence is very clean, there's barely a drop of blood in the entire movie... I'd say it's on par with any Errol Flynn movie. It's basically a live action cartoon. But Mom gave up on it after the first really good sword fight between Jack and Will at the blacksmith's workshop. I believe the word she used was "barbaric", and she was kind of annoyed at me for letting the kids watch it. (DS2 pegged it, though: "This reminds me of Peter Pan," he said.) This is the same woman who intends to screen the literally hundreds of movies she has on VHS tapes (long story) before getting rid of them... she never watches movies, and if PotC is too violent for her, the idea of her going through all those tapes becomes even more absurd. That was a telling moment.
We had a pleasant day today, even though it was cool and cloudy. We went out and did a litte shopping, got DD a beginning piano book, and then went downtown to the splendid Eight Cousins Bookshop, where I got the kids some books and a really cute card game called Hisss, where you have to build snakes. It all depends on luck, and in the last game we played I felt really guilty because I kept on drawing heads or tail pieces and I ended up with 5 snakes and DS1 had none. He handled this loss impressively well, though -- not even the slightest sign of a tantrum. I found DS2 and adorable Kipper pop-up book so of course I had to buy it even though it was $16. Yes, he's spoiled, but the truth is we all really love those books, so it's not like it was just for him.
We took a very long route home, past Wood Neck beach which is gorgeous. I hope we get to go with there with DH at least once... the forecast for the next few days is pretty bleak. C'mon, I want my beach weather back! At least with DH here, I have someone to spell me on the driving if we head up to Boston for the day...
DS2 seems to finally have turned the corner on his illness. He threw a couple of major tantrums this evening but they were just that, tantrums, not indicators of illness or anything. You can always tell when they switch from crying and screaming to laughing like turning a page... it's remarkable. He ate a little more today, too, mostly sweets of course but we'll work on real food more tomorrow. I'm relieved because I was wondering when the antibiotic was going to kick in. Seems as if it's finally working... I didn't have to give DS2 any Motrin or Tylenol today at all.
Well, now I truly have no idea what's in store for the next 2 weeks... this should be interesting, and fun, I hope!
Saturday, July 10, 2004
nostalgia run amok
...
Or something like that.
Today I drove up with the kids to Sudbury and visited with P&C and their two kids. Their DS has ADHD and some associated OCD and other socialization problems, but he's a sweet boy who actually has a lot in common with DS1 when they can connect. Their DD is just a half-year younger than my DS1 and she is very much like my DD... the girls had a very good time.
Poor DS2, it is very hard for him to be the little guy all the time, and he phased in and out of feeling well all day long. We probably stayed over-long but it had been such a long time since I had a chance to talk to P that it felt good just to veg out with her while the kids entertained themselves... there were no dust-ups, other than DS2's occasional whines... it was nice.
When we left, we drove over to S Natick to go past my old house. That was a trip and a half. It all seemed simultaneously familiar and strange, and not that deja-vu "strangely familiar" feeling, either. Like, I recognized everything but couldn't believe I used to travel that route dozens of times a week, for 2 and a half years. It just didn't seem possible. When we got to the house I was quite ticked because whoever is living there now really needs to do some work on the yard, the bushes are running wild. They un-screened the porch which made it look quite nice, but other than that, it looked just the same. It was weird.
We had dinner at Bertucci's in Wellesley, which went fine until I told DS1 he couldn't save his Hoodsie cup ice cream for later. For some reason, he didn't believe me, and he had a minor breakdown, so I hustled them out of there... so quickly I forgot the leftovers on the table! I hate it when I do that. The waitress must've thought I was a total ditz, since I made her box up the leftovers, and then bring the ice creams, which the kids barely touched before I dragged them out of there. I felt a tiny bit awkward but I knew it was better to get DS1 out of there than to have him create a huge scene. I didn't have the energy to manage that.
On the way to our car, I witnessed a fender-bender in the parking lot: the driver hit a parked Honda Odyssey, trying to park his own car. It was the weirdest thing. I saw it, but there wasn't a chance that I was going to do anything about it with the 3 kids to handle. So I stuck them in the car and we headed down to Rte 9 to find a Radio Shack to buy a car adapter for the portable DVD player.
I think the battery on the new one is not the full 6 hours, but it could be that I didn't prep it properly... I have to check that out, maybe tomorrow. I found a Radio Shack pretty quickly and the clerk there was really nice and helpful and we found one with the appropriate voltage and amps (my old one was too weak -- correct voltage, not enough amps)... so the kids watched "Spy Kids" all the way home. Of course there was junk on the disc or something that made it go wonky when we were only about 15 minutes away, though. So I pulled over to fix the disc and in that 2 minutes a police car pulled up to make sure we were OK. I thought that was really nice and thanked the officer for stopping.
I keep using the word weird tonight but that's how today was. It was weird being back in my old stomping grounds. Unlike here on the Cape, there was absolutely no tugging on my heart strings. I talked a little with P&C about their kids' school and curriculums and whatnot, and realized even more how happy I am with my kids' schools. I'm glad I drove by my old place because I had been wanting to do that for quite a while, it was good to finally scratch that particular itch... but now that I have, I have no desire to ever drive through Wellesley or Natick again. I've been gone nearly 10 years but it seems as if nothing has really changed there, and I have changed a lot. I can't imagine having kids and living there! Eeek.
So... a good, strange day, and the kids were terrific. Didn't talk to DH at all, though. Another oddity.
Or something like that.
Today I drove up with the kids to Sudbury and visited with P&C and their two kids. Their DS has ADHD and some associated OCD and other socialization problems, but he's a sweet boy who actually has a lot in common with DS1 when they can connect. Their DD is just a half-year younger than my DS1 and she is very much like my DD... the girls had a very good time.
Poor DS2, it is very hard for him to be the little guy all the time, and he phased in and out of feeling well all day long. We probably stayed over-long but it had been such a long time since I had a chance to talk to P that it felt good just to veg out with her while the kids entertained themselves... there were no dust-ups, other than DS2's occasional whines... it was nice.
When we left, we drove over to S Natick to go past my old house. That was a trip and a half. It all seemed simultaneously familiar and strange, and not that deja-vu "strangely familiar" feeling, either. Like, I recognized everything but couldn't believe I used to travel that route dozens of times a week, for 2 and a half years. It just didn't seem possible. When we got to the house I was quite ticked because whoever is living there now really needs to do some work on the yard, the bushes are running wild. They un-screened the porch which made it look quite nice, but other than that, it looked just the same. It was weird.
We had dinner at Bertucci's in Wellesley, which went fine until I told DS1 he couldn't save his Hoodsie cup ice cream for later. For some reason, he didn't believe me, and he had a minor breakdown, so I hustled them out of there... so quickly I forgot the leftovers on the table! I hate it when I do that. The waitress must've thought I was a total ditz, since I made her box up the leftovers, and then bring the ice creams, which the kids barely touched before I dragged them out of there. I felt a tiny bit awkward but I knew it was better to get DS1 out of there than to have him create a huge scene. I didn't have the energy to manage that.
On the way to our car, I witnessed a fender-bender in the parking lot: the driver hit a parked Honda Odyssey, trying to park his own car. It was the weirdest thing. I saw it, but there wasn't a chance that I was going to do anything about it with the 3 kids to handle. So I stuck them in the car and we headed down to Rte 9 to find a Radio Shack to buy a car adapter for the portable DVD player.
I think the battery on the new one is not the full 6 hours, but it could be that I didn't prep it properly... I have to check that out, maybe tomorrow. I found a Radio Shack pretty quickly and the clerk there was really nice and helpful and we found one with the appropriate voltage and amps (my old one was too weak -- correct voltage, not enough amps)... so the kids watched "Spy Kids" all the way home. Of course there was junk on the disc or something that made it go wonky when we were only about 15 minutes away, though. So I pulled over to fix the disc and in that 2 minutes a police car pulled up to make sure we were OK. I thought that was really nice and thanked the officer for stopping.
I keep using the word weird tonight but that's how today was. It was weird being back in my old stomping grounds. Unlike here on the Cape, there was absolutely no tugging on my heart strings. I talked a little with P&C about their kids' school and curriculums and whatnot, and realized even more how happy I am with my kids' schools. I'm glad I drove by my old place because I had been wanting to do that for quite a while, it was good to finally scratch that particular itch... but now that I have, I have no desire to ever drive through Wellesley or Natick again. I've been gone nearly 10 years but it seems as if nothing has really changed there, and I have changed a lot. I can't imagine having kids and living there! Eeek.
So... a good, strange day, and the kids were terrific. Didn't talk to DH at all, though. Another oddity.
Friday, July 09, 2004
beachin', bitchin'
...
DS2 was only marginally better today, until late this evening when he really perked up. That was strange but welcome.
Went to the beach today with the kiddos and my godson, the pharmacist, and his girlfriend. They make pleasant conversation. I'm afraid they think I'm a right-wing whacko now, though, because they mentioned that they had seen "Farenheit 9/11" and asked me if I had seen it or would see it, and I replied, no, because I am as opposed to Michael Moore as it is possible to be. Girlfriend asked me, "Why is that?" and I gave a rather impassioned and lengthy reply as to how he lies and manipulates the media (the whole distribution flap) but I was pleased because when Girlfriend mentioned that, well, wasn't it odd that the bin Laden family got to leave the country when no one else was, I said I didn't know, she'd have to take that up with Richard Clarke because he's the one who gave them clearance to leave... then I changed the topic to "Spider-Man 2" which is much safer, of course.
The beach was wonderful even though DS2 got a bit cranky. Poor dear. DS1 and DD had so much fun playing in the waves. I got them all their first-ever ice cream truck treats. That was a lot of fun.
Tomorrow, driving up to Sudbury to see P&C and their kids. I am really looking forward to it.
Oh, had a long and somewhat upsetting conversation with DH last night where I realized once again that I just can't ever question what he does, no matter what my tone or circumstances, because he just gets all defensive and nasty. He has been so happy lately because we don't have these fights, and I realized we haven't been fighting because I have just learned to let it all go, because I don't need to understand him, and there's no point in rehashing something that has already happened if there's nothing to be learned from it... perspective, timing, etc. But yesterday I forgot that "no questioning" rule I had imposed on myself (to keep the peace) and so of course there was a fight.
That's all surprisingly OK, because I don't need to pick fights with my DH. I can get everything I need to know from him in other ways... it's just a matter of my own discipline. I know what sets him off, so I (usually) just don't do it.
It was hard talking last night because he brought up the time when, he says, I was "completely insane." That's rough to hear, although there is some truth to it, but I'm better now. But even writing about it makes me sad, because I don't think I have ever been a vindictive or mean person, and he said I was vicious. Or something like that. I never meant to be mean. I have honestly never done anything intentionally to hurt him (a few other people, yes, but him, no --) I have thoughtlessly, carelessly hurt him probably many times but I have never said or done anything deliberately to cause him pain, and I don't think he believes that.
Anyway, he attributes our current peaceful era to the advent of my thyroid treatment. I thought that was interesting. Depression was a huge deep pit for me and it took me a lot longer to climb out of it than I realized at that time. I would reach a certain level of recovery and look back and think, "Wow, I'm so much better now," but then a few months later, I would,could, and did honestly think the same thing again.
I don't know now if I'm completely well yet. I think I'm pretty close but there are a few odd things, here and there, strange paranoid/fearful patterns of thought that I attribute to my thyroid being out of whack again, or lack of sleep, I don't know. So far they are not preventing me from living my life so I am not stressing about it.
To bed now, but first, SI exercises, I can feel how "out" my hip is from carrying DS2 around all day...
DS2 was only marginally better today, until late this evening when he really perked up. That was strange but welcome.
Went to the beach today with the kiddos and my godson, the pharmacist, and his girlfriend. They make pleasant conversation. I'm afraid they think I'm a right-wing whacko now, though, because they mentioned that they had seen "Farenheit 9/11" and asked me if I had seen it or would see it, and I replied, no, because I am as opposed to Michael Moore as it is possible to be. Girlfriend asked me, "Why is that?" and I gave a rather impassioned and lengthy reply as to how he lies and manipulates the media (the whole distribution flap) but I was pleased because when Girlfriend mentioned that, well, wasn't it odd that the bin Laden family got to leave the country when no one else was, I said I didn't know, she'd have to take that up with Richard Clarke because he's the one who gave them clearance to leave... then I changed the topic to "Spider-Man 2" which is much safer, of course.
The beach was wonderful even though DS2 got a bit cranky. Poor dear. DS1 and DD had so much fun playing in the waves. I got them all their first-ever ice cream truck treats. That was a lot of fun.
Tomorrow, driving up to Sudbury to see P&C and their kids. I am really looking forward to it.
Oh, had a long and somewhat upsetting conversation with DH last night where I realized once again that I just can't ever question what he does, no matter what my tone or circumstances, because he just gets all defensive and nasty. He has been so happy lately because we don't have these fights, and I realized we haven't been fighting because I have just learned to let it all go, because I don't need to understand him, and there's no point in rehashing something that has already happened if there's nothing to be learned from it... perspective, timing, etc. But yesterday I forgot that "no questioning" rule I had imposed on myself (to keep the peace) and so of course there was a fight.
That's all surprisingly OK, because I don't need to pick fights with my DH. I can get everything I need to know from him in other ways... it's just a matter of my own discipline. I know what sets him off, so I (usually) just don't do it.
It was hard talking last night because he brought up the time when, he says, I was "completely insane." That's rough to hear, although there is some truth to it, but I'm better now. But even writing about it makes me sad, because I don't think I have ever been a vindictive or mean person, and he said I was vicious. Or something like that. I never meant to be mean. I have honestly never done anything intentionally to hurt him (a few other people, yes, but him, no --) I have thoughtlessly, carelessly hurt him probably many times but I have never said or done anything deliberately to cause him pain, and I don't think he believes that.
Anyway, he attributes our current peaceful era to the advent of my thyroid treatment. I thought that was interesting. Depression was a huge deep pit for me and it took me a lot longer to climb out of it than I realized at that time. I would reach a certain level of recovery and look back and think, "Wow, I'm so much better now," but then a few months later, I would,could, and did honestly think the same thing again.
I don't know now if I'm completely well yet. I think I'm pretty close but there are a few odd things, here and there, strange paranoid/fearful patterns of thought that I attribute to my thyroid being out of whack again, or lack of sleep, I don't know. So far they are not preventing me from living my life so I am not stressing about it.
To bed now, but first, SI exercises, I can feel how "out" my hip is from carrying DS2 around all day...
Thursday, July 08, 2004
doctors, prescriptions, screaming
...
Took DS2 to the urgent care center this morning. As predicted, his right ear is still infected. The dr prescribed another round of Omnicef ($60), this time at the higher dose. Apparently DS2 is right on the cusp of needing the higher dose, last time he did the lower dose...
We were actually there for only about 45 minutes which is extraordinary for a walk-in clinic, but DD didn't seem to think so. She was an imp after about the first 10 minutes: lying on the floor, flopping about, complaining about everything. Her uncle had given her a pretty little toe ring he had found on the beach, and she threw it at me, saying she didn't want it anymore... "I don't want anything!" I retrieved it. When I was trying to pay, she ran out and I had to send DS1 after her to keep her from going into the parking lot. Then when it was time to go (30 seconds later), she refused... I ended up taking the boys to the car, then I had to come back in and carry her out. It was ridiculous. Sometimes she has to make everything about HER, and at times like those, I could just as well leave her there. (*gasp*! child abandonment!)
Not that I'd ever do it, but sometimes she makes it seem like an attractive alternative.
DS1's Motrin stopped working about 11:30, as we were in the dr's office, and then we had to go get the Rx... there was a long line at the local CVS. After about 10 minutes (which is a really long time if you are carrying a 30+ pound 3 year old), we get to the head of the line only to find out that they are out of Omnicef. They call down to the downtown branch, and they have it... so back in the car, back through the traffic to downtown. The downtown branch has a drive-thru! Yay.
Drop off the scrip, then take the kids through the drive-thru at BK which was just around the corner, but the backway, and so avoided the traffic... after enduring the line at BK, we got back to the pharmacy and picked up the Rx. Nothing like dropping $100 in an hour, huh? Eeesh.
I ended up running out again at 8:45 tonight to pick up some Tylenol for DS2 because the Motrin just isn't getting his fever down. It's weird how sometimes the Motrin works better and sometimes the Tylenol does. I got him the Tylenol at 9 and by 9:30 he was practically chipper. Of course then I hustled him into bed. I'm hoping with the 2 doses of Omnicef and the Tylenol he'll sleep better tonight...
Had a screaming match with DH today. He called me early to say that the pharmacy called and said he had to pick up my prescription by Saturday. I thought that was weird but realized that it must've been the minocycline. So later, he called to say he got it but it cost $64 because it was too soon to be getting a refill and have it be covered by our prescription drug plan. I asked him why he did that -- I'm sure I was snippy if not downright bitchy -- but he ended up going completely berserk and screamed at me about doing all sorts of errands for me (which is complete bullshit) and he did it because I asked him to, blah blah blah.
Well: yes, I asked him to get my prescription, but not to drop $64 on it unnecessarily. He could've waited and called BC/BS and seen if there was something to be done, right? Turns out when I called BC/BS they said they would reimburse us the difference , we just have to send them the info and explain that we are traveling out of state. I emailed DH this info and he replied quite snippily that he had already made 2 trips to my PT because when he brought them their check he forgot to bring the statement of benefits...
You know what? I don't care! It's not like he has a whole heckuva lot to do there. The only thing he's responsible for besides himself is the CAT and she can be problematic but honestly? She's not that big a deal. He knows I'm dealing with all 3 kids here and trying to keep them sane while DS2 is sick and does he cut me ANY slack today? No, he jumps all over me. I know I shouldn't have been bitchy but seriously, I admitted I was wrong and apologized and he still acted like a complete jerk.
Now I'm really looking forward to his arrival Tuesday... NOT. It's nice being here without him, because we can do what we want to do instead of having to do what he wants. Generally he is much more reluctant to actually DO anything with the kids, at least he is at home, which sucks. So I am trying to get in as much as possible before he gets here, which is tough because now DS2 is sick and we don't have that many more days left.
Saturday we are going up to Sudbury to visit P&C and their kids, just for the day. I have to call other friends too and see when we can get together... it seemed like I had so much time, but I don't, really, between family visits and the trip last weekend to CT and now DS2 down for a few days, it's impossible. There's never enough time. Of course we will have 2 more weeks once DH gets here, but I'm not counting on being able to do anything I want to during those 2 weeks.
Wow, that's an incredibly negative attitude, but I am really mad at him right now. I know that he's waiting for another apology/admission of guilt from me before he softens and apologizes himself, but I'm just not in the mood. I know this was my choice to travel with the kids on my own, and so I am dealing with it, but you know, it wouldn't kill him to acknowledge that he is getting TWO vacations: one on his own, and then the one with us. Sure, he has to work now, but he also doesn't have anything or anyone else to deal with while he's there.
He seems to be having a fun enough time buying himself a new cell phone and surround sound system... man we have run through a lot of money lately. Sheesh.
Now I'm online so he can't call on the landline. Heh. I really am being bad but I'm allowed from time to time. I think the kids are doing really well (notwithstanding DS2's illness) and they are having a good time, too. I don't regret being here, and I refuse to accept being screamed at.
Took DS2 to the urgent care center this morning. As predicted, his right ear is still infected. The dr prescribed another round of Omnicef ($60), this time at the higher dose. Apparently DS2 is right on the cusp of needing the higher dose, last time he did the lower dose...
We were actually there for only about 45 minutes which is extraordinary for a walk-in clinic, but DD didn't seem to think so. She was an imp after about the first 10 minutes: lying on the floor, flopping about, complaining about everything. Her uncle had given her a pretty little toe ring he had found on the beach, and she threw it at me, saying she didn't want it anymore... "I don't want anything!" I retrieved it. When I was trying to pay, she ran out and I had to send DS1 after her to keep her from going into the parking lot. Then when it was time to go (30 seconds later), she refused... I ended up taking the boys to the car, then I had to come back in and carry her out. It was ridiculous. Sometimes she has to make everything about HER, and at times like those, I could just as well leave her there. (*gasp*! child abandonment!)
Not that I'd ever do it, but sometimes she makes it seem like an attractive alternative.
DS1's Motrin stopped working about 11:30, as we were in the dr's office, and then we had to go get the Rx... there was a long line at the local CVS. After about 10 minutes (which is a really long time if you are carrying a 30+ pound 3 year old), we get to the head of the line only to find out that they are out of Omnicef. They call down to the downtown branch, and they have it... so back in the car, back through the traffic to downtown. The downtown branch has a drive-thru! Yay.
Drop off the scrip, then take the kids through the drive-thru at BK which was just around the corner, but the backway, and so avoided the traffic... after enduring the line at BK, we got back to the pharmacy and picked up the Rx. Nothing like dropping $100 in an hour, huh? Eeesh.
I ended up running out again at 8:45 tonight to pick up some Tylenol for DS2 because the Motrin just isn't getting his fever down. It's weird how sometimes the Motrin works better and sometimes the Tylenol does. I got him the Tylenol at 9 and by 9:30 he was practically chipper. Of course then I hustled him into bed. I'm hoping with the 2 doses of Omnicef and the Tylenol he'll sleep better tonight...
Had a screaming match with DH today. He called me early to say that the pharmacy called and said he had to pick up my prescription by Saturday. I thought that was weird but realized that it must've been the minocycline. So later, he called to say he got it but it cost $64 because it was too soon to be getting a refill and have it be covered by our prescription drug plan. I asked him why he did that -- I'm sure I was snippy if not downright bitchy -- but he ended up going completely berserk and screamed at me about doing all sorts of errands for me (which is complete bullshit) and he did it because I asked him to, blah blah blah.
Well: yes, I asked him to get my prescription, but not to drop $64 on it unnecessarily. He could've waited and called BC/BS and seen if there was something to be done, right? Turns out when I called BC/BS they said they would reimburse us the difference , we just have to send them the info and explain that we are traveling out of state. I emailed DH this info and he replied quite snippily that he had already made 2 trips to my PT because when he brought them their check he forgot to bring the statement of benefits...
You know what? I don't care! It's not like he has a whole heckuva lot to do there. The only thing he's responsible for besides himself is the CAT and she can be problematic but honestly? She's not that big a deal. He knows I'm dealing with all 3 kids here and trying to keep them sane while DS2 is sick and does he cut me ANY slack today? No, he jumps all over me. I know I shouldn't have been bitchy but seriously, I admitted I was wrong and apologized and he still acted like a complete jerk.
Now I'm really looking forward to his arrival Tuesday... NOT. It's nice being here without him, because we can do what we want to do instead of having to do what he wants. Generally he is much more reluctant to actually DO anything with the kids, at least he is at home, which sucks. So I am trying to get in as much as possible before he gets here, which is tough because now DS2 is sick and we don't have that many more days left.
Saturday we are going up to Sudbury to visit P&C and their kids, just for the day. I have to call other friends too and see when we can get together... it seemed like I had so much time, but I don't, really, between family visits and the trip last weekend to CT and now DS2 down for a few days, it's impossible. There's never enough time. Of course we will have 2 more weeks once DH gets here, but I'm not counting on being able to do anything I want to during those 2 weeks.
Wow, that's an incredibly negative attitude, but I am really mad at him right now. I know that he's waiting for another apology/admission of guilt from me before he softens and apologizes himself, but I'm just not in the mood. I know this was my choice to travel with the kids on my own, and so I am dealing with it, but you know, it wouldn't kill him to acknowledge that he is getting TWO vacations: one on his own, and then the one with us. Sure, he has to work now, but he also doesn't have anything or anyone else to deal with while he's there.
He seems to be having a fun enough time buying himself a new cell phone and surround sound system... man we have run through a lot of money lately. Sheesh.
Now I'm online so he can't call on the landline. Heh. I really am being bad but I'm allowed from time to time. I think the kids are doing really well (notwithstanding DS2's illness) and they are having a good time, too. I don't regret being here, and I refuse to accept being screamed at.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
now what?
...
DS2 spiked a fever this afternoon. He fell asleep on the way home from lunch, slept all afternoon, woke feverish. After meds, he was fine this evening. If he follows his usual pattern, tomorrow he will be miserable. I'm taking him to the walk-in clinic in the morning... it seems I have to do this every summer. *sigh*
Everyone else is gone, it's just Mom, me, and the kids. The house is quiet. I like it.
Weather has been beautiful, and we have been busy doing lots of vacation-y things. I bought marshmallows today and made the kids s'mores for snacks. They are in love. Hee!
Time for bed.
DS2 spiked a fever this afternoon. He fell asleep on the way home from lunch, slept all afternoon, woke feverish. After meds, he was fine this evening. If he follows his usual pattern, tomorrow he will be miserable. I'm taking him to the walk-in clinic in the morning... it seems I have to do this every summer. *sigh*
Everyone else is gone, it's just Mom, me, and the kids. The house is quiet. I like it.
Weather has been beautiful, and we have been busy doing lots of vacation-y things. I bought marshmallows today and made the kids s'mores for snacks. They are in love. Hee!
Time for bed.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
my heart is happy here
...
It sounds so sappy, but there is a deep contentment I'm feeling now, just being here.
I talked to a friend today and told her how just being here makes me so happy, and she asked me if I would consider moving back. My answer was an immediate "No," because I know that this is an idyll, a time out of real time, and that's what is making this really magical for me. Which is not to say it's one big dream, as I do have 3 kiddos to look after and I'm missing DH fiercely, and I'm tired for any number of reasons. But I can handle all those things because I am just so happy to be here.
I wonder, though, how I will feel when it's time to go home again? Will this visit be long enough to satiate me for a while? Or will it just make me miserable because I'll get into a real groove here and not want to leave? (Doubtful -- very doubtful!)
I love the way the air smells here, the way it feels on my skin. I love the 4 million different shades of true green -- not gray-green, blue-green, but real rich green that is everywhere. I love the flowers, wild and cultivated, that are exploding all over, the lilies and impatiens and petunias, and roses! Oh, the roses are glorious this year... I love the crazy bird noises every morning. I love that a family of skunks tumbled through the backyard a few nights ago, oblivious to us (we immediately fell silent, of course). I love looking out into the yard at sunset and seeing fireflies twinkling at the edge of the woods. I love driving by the ocean every single time I go out for an errand. I love buying my kids ice cream every day (hee!). I love swimming with them and watching them master the water. I loved having to drag DS2 out of the pond today because his lips were blue and his teeth were chattering.
I know I can't do this forever, though. Although I did tell my friend, I can see making long-term career choices that would enable me to do 4-6 week summer visits every year. My poor husband. But honestly, anything that makes me happier and healthier, he is very likely to support. Six weeks might be too long though, that would be 4 whole weeks without him! Too much.
In the day or two before I left, I was stricken by a panicky thought that I had made a terrible mistake, I could never manage all 3 kids by myself for so long, what was I thinking? What if they didn't like it? Now I know I was right when I made the plans, that this was a really good thing -- a great thing -- to do. Even if I never get to do this ever again, I will have had this time.
I am so blessed.
It sounds so sappy, but there is a deep contentment I'm feeling now, just being here.
I talked to a friend today and told her how just being here makes me so happy, and she asked me if I would consider moving back. My answer was an immediate "No," because I know that this is an idyll, a time out of real time, and that's what is making this really magical for me. Which is not to say it's one big dream, as I do have 3 kiddos to look after and I'm missing DH fiercely, and I'm tired for any number of reasons. But I can handle all those things because I am just so happy to be here.
I wonder, though, how I will feel when it's time to go home again? Will this visit be long enough to satiate me for a while? Or will it just make me miserable because I'll get into a real groove here and not want to leave? (Doubtful -- very doubtful!)
I love the way the air smells here, the way it feels on my skin. I love the 4 million different shades of true green -- not gray-green, blue-green, but real rich green that is everywhere. I love the flowers, wild and cultivated, that are exploding all over, the lilies and impatiens and petunias, and roses! Oh, the roses are glorious this year... I love the crazy bird noises every morning. I love that a family of skunks tumbled through the backyard a few nights ago, oblivious to us (we immediately fell silent, of course). I love looking out into the yard at sunset and seeing fireflies twinkling at the edge of the woods. I love driving by the ocean every single time I go out for an errand. I love buying my kids ice cream every day (hee!). I love swimming with them and watching them master the water. I loved having to drag DS2 out of the pond today because his lips were blue and his teeth were chattering.
I know I can't do this forever, though. Although I did tell my friend, I can see making long-term career choices that would enable me to do 4-6 week summer visits every year. My poor husband. But honestly, anything that makes me happier and healthier, he is very likely to support. Six weeks might be too long though, that would be 4 whole weeks without him! Too much.
In the day or two before I left, I was stricken by a panicky thought that I had made a terrible mistake, I could never manage all 3 kids by myself for so long, what was I thinking? What if they didn't like it? Now I know I was right when I made the plans, that this was a really good thing -- a great thing -- to do. Even if I never get to do this ever again, I will have had this time.
I am so blessed.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
health update
...
Wanted to mention before I forget: my RA is not bothering me one bit. I am seriously impressed with the minocycline. It rained last night and this morning, and I have no swelling or joint pain at all. It really is remarkable. This evening, I opened a coffee can using one of those sadistic old-fashioned turn-key can openers... last year, or even two months ago, I wouldn't have been able to do that at all, yet tonight I did it easily, with no after-effects.
I did manage to tweak my piriformis yesterday rushing DS2 to the bathroom at Good Will Park... rest and stretching are helping it, though. I am being a good girl and doing my SI strengthening/stabilizing exercises both in the morning and in the evening. I think that is helping a lot.
I still have considerable fatigue, but it's impossible to tell whether that is from the thyroid or from the time change or just constantly having to be "on" with the 3 kids and no one to hand them off to... I've been getting to bed at decent hours (especially considering the 3 hour time difference), but haven't been taking the Ambien because I need to hear the kids if they have trouble in the middle of the night, and I need to be able to get up! I'm afraid if I take the Ambien I might not be able to do either... still, the fatigue is not unbearable. Once DH arrives I can go back to taking the Ambien and see if it helps.
Diet was great until today, when I had ice cream in Woods Hole and then some of my Mom's fried potatoes with dinner, and then some popcorn after dinner. What is up with that? I have no idea. The ice cream was divine, though, as were the potatoes. I'm having my coffee now and thoroughly enjoying it. The rapid transit problem is a thing of the past, yay! It's so nice to have normal digestion again.
Wanted to mention before I forget: my RA is not bothering me one bit. I am seriously impressed with the minocycline. It rained last night and this morning, and I have no swelling or joint pain at all. It really is remarkable. This evening, I opened a coffee can using one of those sadistic old-fashioned turn-key can openers... last year, or even two months ago, I wouldn't have been able to do that at all, yet tonight I did it easily, with no after-effects.
I did manage to tweak my piriformis yesterday rushing DS2 to the bathroom at Good Will Park... rest and stretching are helping it, though. I am being a good girl and doing my SI strengthening/stabilizing exercises both in the morning and in the evening. I think that is helping a lot.
I still have considerable fatigue, but it's impossible to tell whether that is from the thyroid or from the time change or just constantly having to be "on" with the 3 kids and no one to hand them off to... I've been getting to bed at decent hours (especially considering the 3 hour time difference), but haven't been taking the Ambien because I need to hear the kids if they have trouble in the middle of the night, and I need to be able to get up! I'm afraid if I take the Ambien I might not be able to do either... still, the fatigue is not unbearable. Once DH arrives I can go back to taking the Ambien and see if it helps.
Diet was great until today, when I had ice cream in Woods Hole and then some of my Mom's fried potatoes with dinner, and then some popcorn after dinner. What is up with that? I have no idea. The ice cream was divine, though, as were the potatoes. I'm having my coffee now and thoroughly enjoying it. The rapid transit problem is a thing of the past, yay! It's so nice to have normal digestion again.
beautiful disorder
...
Today I looked out the window of my Mom's kitchen while I was washing dishes. The window looks into the front yard, which is more or less a constant struggle against various natural elements trying to restake their claim to this territory. It occurred to me then that about 90% of what I was looking at was stuff that no person had put there, whereas, when I look out into my own yard back home, literally everything that I usually see is there because I put it there. The landscaping, the hardscaping, etc etc. Such a totally different world here.
I like that the chaos here is beautiful and less deadly than the chaos at home. There is little danger of rapid dehydration here (at least with our current weather), and while it's still quite possible to get a nasty sunburn, it would take a lot longer for it to happen. It just seems so mild and benign here near the ocean, whereas back home everything seems so dry and harsh in comparison.
I feel very lucky that I am here and able to have the kids here for this time. It's hard being away from home for a long time,and hard being away from their dad, but this is a very special place. It is so beautiful and unique that I hope they will always look back on these vacations as really wonderful times... heaven forbid they look back on them as "those times Mom dragged us to the Cape"!!!
DS1 had a blast body-surfing the other day, while DS2 played happily in the sand but DD bundled up on the blanket against the wind. I can totally see DS1 going off to college in CA and becoming a surfer dude. He could really fit the swimmer/surfer profile he wanted to... such an excellent swimmer. We have managed to do fun things every day, and I think we're maintaining a good balance of normal routine -- breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime -- and vacation weirdness. Only three days done, though, so we'll see how it goes once everyone is accustomized to the time change. It should get easier from here on out.
This is quite long enough... I hope it survives being published over a dial-up line...
Today I looked out the window of my Mom's kitchen while I was washing dishes. The window looks into the front yard, which is more or less a constant struggle against various natural elements trying to restake their claim to this territory. It occurred to me then that about 90% of what I was looking at was stuff that no person had put there, whereas, when I look out into my own yard back home, literally everything that I usually see is there because I put it there. The landscaping, the hardscaping, etc etc. Such a totally different world here.
I like that the chaos here is beautiful and less deadly than the chaos at home. There is little danger of rapid dehydration here (at least with our current weather), and while it's still quite possible to get a nasty sunburn, it would take a lot longer for it to happen. It just seems so mild and benign here near the ocean, whereas back home everything seems so dry and harsh in comparison.
I feel very lucky that I am here and able to have the kids here for this time. It's hard being away from home for a long time,and hard being away from their dad, but this is a very special place. It is so beautiful and unique that I hope they will always look back on these vacations as really wonderful times... heaven forbid they look back on them as "those times Mom dragged us to the Cape"!!!
DS1 had a blast body-surfing the other day, while DS2 played happily in the sand but DD bundled up on the blanket against the wind. I can totally see DS1 going off to college in CA and becoming a surfer dude. He could really fit the swimmer/surfer profile he wanted to... such an excellent swimmer. We have managed to do fun things every day, and I think we're maintaining a good balance of normal routine -- breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime -- and vacation weirdness. Only three days done, though, so we'll see how it goes once everyone is accustomized to the time change. It should get easier from here on out.
This is quite long enough... I hope it survives being published over a dial-up line...
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
motor's running
... finally!
I cranked out the LCL Mag article and knocked off all the copy for one milestone, plus some, tonight... finished by 12:30.
Of course, I'm still up puttering around, but hey... it's only 1AM and I am done and managed to GET STUFF DONE today.
YAY!
I cranked out the LCL Mag article and knocked off all the copy for one milestone, plus some, tonight... finished by 12:30.
Of course, I'm still up puttering around, but hey... it's only 1AM and I am done and managed to GET STUFF DONE today.
YAY!
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
eek
...
OK, I just got a reminder email that I hadn't sent in my July column for LCL mag yet. Whoopsy.
And I have tons and tons of real paying work, too! Whee!
On the upside, only 2 more drawers left on DD's furniture. I've spent wayyyy too much time on that, but it is looking pretty nifty even if I do say so myself. I will post pics when it's done (sometime in August, it's not getting finished any time before then...)
I know that on Saturday morning, no matter what, I'll be getting on that plane with the kids. It's just getting what needs to get done between now and then that's a bit problematical.
This is a classic case of over-committing myself... but I never expected this job to go on this long! This is just ridiculous. I was up until 2:30 this morning re-working the home page for the nth time. Why why why (imagine accompanying "bonk" sound effects, as head hits desk)?!?
On the upside, the new computer came today. Not that I have time to set it up and enjoy it or anything like that.
My dearest sis (DS) is meeting me & the kids at the airport. Just to complicate things a wee bit, one of my dear bros (DB4) asked DH if I needed help at the airport. So I called DB4 and had a chat with him today about stuff, but we got into this weird "yes she is, no she isn't" conversation about our Mom. DB4 sees Mom a lot, he spends a lot of weekends at her place... but I also spend a lot of time with Mom, as she lives with us for 2 months every winter. It was very odd for DB4 to flat-out contradict me and say "Ma does not wig out," when in fact, she does wig out. Not drastically or anything, but she can definitely get worked up about stuff... anyway, I just caught a weird vibe off that part of the conversation. Also, I caught the definite vibe of "relief" that he's off the hook for meeting me at the airport.
The whole thing was kind icky, now that I think about it. DB4 says Mom is so excited that I'm "coming home for the summer" or something like that... he said she's making a really big deal of it. That's OK, I guess... but I still don't know why she had to call me at 7:45AM the other day (she knows I don't get up until 8 unless I have to) to ask me what to buy for groceries while we're there. First of all, I don't expect her to feed my entire family while we're there (but she will want to), we can go shopping, too, and hopefully, she'll let us... and second of all, she knows what my kids and I eat because she lives with us every winter and when she does, she takes over a big chunk of the cooking! Oh, I don't know what's going on in her head, but she's making a deal of this, for sure...
I gotta go try and get some work done. I feel like crap but don't know whether it's side effects from the minocycline persisting, or what -- throat and ears feel nasty, so I'll try and get an appointment with the PA tomorrow. Life is too complicated, but if I do have an ear infection, I want to be on meds for it before I leave!
Yikes. Don't know when I'll be back here. This was a good rant. Gotta run.
OK, I just got a reminder email that I hadn't sent in my July column for LCL mag yet. Whoopsy.
And I have tons and tons of real paying work, too! Whee!
On the upside, only 2 more drawers left on DD's furniture. I've spent wayyyy too much time on that, but it is looking pretty nifty even if I do say so myself. I will post pics when it's done (sometime in August, it's not getting finished any time before then...)
I know that on Saturday morning, no matter what, I'll be getting on that plane with the kids. It's just getting what needs to get done between now and then that's a bit problematical.
This is a classic case of over-committing myself... but I never expected this job to go on this long! This is just ridiculous. I was up until 2:30 this morning re-working the home page for the nth time. Why why why (imagine accompanying "bonk" sound effects, as head hits desk)?!?
On the upside, the new computer came today. Not that I have time to set it up and enjoy it or anything like that.
My dearest sis (DS) is meeting me & the kids at the airport. Just to complicate things a wee bit, one of my dear bros (DB4) asked DH if I needed help at the airport. So I called DB4 and had a chat with him today about stuff, but we got into this weird "yes she is, no she isn't" conversation about our Mom. DB4 sees Mom a lot, he spends a lot of weekends at her place... but I also spend a lot of time with Mom, as she lives with us for 2 months every winter. It was very odd for DB4 to flat-out contradict me and say "Ma does not wig out," when in fact, she does wig out. Not drastically or anything, but she can definitely get worked up about stuff... anyway, I just caught a weird vibe off that part of the conversation. Also, I caught the definite vibe of "relief" that he's off the hook for meeting me at the airport.
The whole thing was kind icky, now that I think about it. DB4 says Mom is so excited that I'm "coming home for the summer" or something like that... he said she's making a really big deal of it. That's OK, I guess... but I still don't know why she had to call me at 7:45AM the other day (she knows I don't get up until 8 unless I have to) to ask me what to buy for groceries while we're there. First of all, I don't expect her to feed my entire family while we're there (but she will want to), we can go shopping, too, and hopefully, she'll let us... and second of all, she knows what my kids and I eat because she lives with us every winter and when she does, she takes over a big chunk of the cooking! Oh, I don't know what's going on in her head, but she's making a deal of this, for sure...
I gotta go try and get some work done. I feel like crap but don't know whether it's side effects from the minocycline persisting, or what -- throat and ears feel nasty, so I'll try and get an appointment with the PA tomorrow. Life is too complicated, but if I do have an ear infection, I want to be on meds for it before I leave!
Yikes. Don't know when I'll be back here. This was a good rant. Gotta run.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
progress
...
I spent all day working on DD's furniture yesterday. Steps: Drill holes for knobs, then light sanding, washing down, priming, painting (3 coats... so much for priming), gluing batting to the fronts of the doors and drawers with spray adhesive, upholstering door and drawer fronts (fabric and staples).
It sounds easy, but I swear, I never get the right tool first time out, or something similarly screwy happens. The pilot holes I drilled for the knobs were too small, but that didn't matter because the screws were too short anyway. I hope I have made my last trip to Home Depot for this project today, to get the longer screws. So far I have 2 drawers done and the doors to the highboy. This is the project from "I have no idea how much work is involved in this stuff, so it's stupid for me to undertake projects like this." Hee.
Today I expected to be in major agony from overdoing it with my hands and whatnot, and indeed my hands are achey but I paid enough attention to my sciatica so that I didn't make it worse. I have writing work to do later but for now I'm just going to take a break. The furniture is at the point now where I can wrap it up during the week. I need to save some energy for writing!
DH has decided to go out to eat tonight but not where, and I know it will be mobbed wherever we go because it's Father's Day... oh well. We'll manage. I love him and if he wants to go out to eat, that's fine with me.
I think I'll go start the laundry.
I spent all day working on DD's furniture yesterday. Steps: Drill holes for knobs, then light sanding, washing down, priming, painting (3 coats... so much for priming), gluing batting to the fronts of the doors and drawers with spray adhesive, upholstering door and drawer fronts (fabric and staples).
It sounds easy, but I swear, I never get the right tool first time out, or something similarly screwy happens. The pilot holes I drilled for the knobs were too small, but that didn't matter because the screws were too short anyway. I hope I have made my last trip to Home Depot for this project today, to get the longer screws. So far I have 2 drawers done and the doors to the highboy. This is the project from "I have no idea how much work is involved in this stuff, so it's stupid for me to undertake projects like this." Hee.
Today I expected to be in major agony from overdoing it with my hands and whatnot, and indeed my hands are achey but I paid enough attention to my sciatica so that I didn't make it worse. I have writing work to do later but for now I'm just going to take a break. The furniture is at the point now where I can wrap it up during the week. I need to save some energy for writing!
DH has decided to go out to eat tonight but not where, and I know it will be mobbed wherever we go because it's Father's Day... oh well. We'll manage. I love him and if he wants to go out to eat, that's fine with me.
I think I'll go start the laundry.
Saturday, June 19, 2004
aaaaaauuuuggggghhhhh
...
too much going on, not enough time for everything, stress.
That about sums up my week. Details are irrelevant at this point.
Whee!
too much going on, not enough time for everything, stress.
That about sums up my week. Details are irrelevant at this point.
Whee!
Friday, June 18, 2004
fly by
...
Don't have time to think these days!
Swimming lessons, doctor's appointments, sick kids... but managed to have a great date with DH last night, when to early dinner at Majerle's, then to the DBacks-Yankees game, and we actually won, 6-1, it was awesome. Very nice evening, we both really savored it since it's our last date before I leave with the kids.
More good news: our desk is coming tomorrow, and the new computer has already shipped! Yay!!! That means we will be able to get everything all set up before I leave. I hope!
I re-worked the home page and sent it off to my boss, and he really liked it... whew! Tons more work to do for this weekend. Before I go on vacation, i should've earned enough to pay for the new computer, the desk, the car rental, and maybe eve the plane tickets. But not all the taxes I owe on my earnings, LOL! It's a cash flow thing, mostly... heh. Anyway, I'm glad to be getting the stuff done, producing things they like, and earning.
Gotta run... DS1 goes to the allergest now...
Don't have time to think these days!
Swimming lessons, doctor's appointments, sick kids... but managed to have a great date with DH last night, when to early dinner at Majerle's, then to the DBacks-Yankees game, and we actually won, 6-1, it was awesome. Very nice evening, we both really savored it since it's our last date before I leave with the kids.
More good news: our desk is coming tomorrow, and the new computer has already shipped! Yay!!! That means we will be able to get everything all set up before I leave. I hope!
I re-worked the home page and sent it off to my boss, and he really liked it... whew! Tons more work to do for this weekend. Before I go on vacation, i should've earned enough to pay for the new computer, the desk, the car rental, and maybe eve the plane tickets. But not all the taxes I owe on my earnings, LOL! It's a cash flow thing, mostly... heh. Anyway, I'm glad to be getting the stuff done, producing things they like, and earning.
Gotta run... DS1 goes to the allergest now...
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