Monday, October 02, 2006

fits and starts

That about sums it up, lately. I'm better than I was when I wrote that last post, but it comes and goes. On at least two occasions I have actually burst into tears but at least they're not the kind that I can't stop. (I hate that.)

I know I'm better because I cleaned the house today, things I had put off for way too long, that I am actually embarassed to admit how long they had been left undone. But now they're done and not weighing me down further, so that's good.

Friday typified the see-saw my life resembles lately. I had arranged to pick up my films (for my Monday morning appointment with the surgeon) at a local office. I called to confirm they had been sent; the local office didn't have them. I called the central office, and she swore they had been sent, but to the mammography center, which is a different office. That's OK.

I spent the afternoon over at school, and when we left, we headed over to the mammography center to pick up the films, but they were closed. Who closes at 3:00pm? OK, who that is not a bank? Please. Why did I not know they closed early? Fortunately they open at the crack of dawn so I can run over there early tomorrow and get the films, if they haven't sent them back because I failed to pick them up on Friday. (As you can see, I have a vivid imagination regarding potential screw ups.)

The whole day was like that: near-misses, things I forgot, things I should have known, things not being where they were supposed to be. But on the very same day I had a nice lunch with DH (I finally told him about the near-depression thing), and a nice outing with the kids to Borders, and the book I had ordered came in... for every thing that irked or irritated there was some upside. Nothing like getting jerked around all day... I didn't get anything done.

DS1 complained of headache Friday afternoon and by the evening was running a fever. That was the downside, the upside was discovering my pediatrician's office has Saturday and evening hours that I never knew about, so we were able to get the boy in on Saturday morning and onto an antibiotic (sinus infection, poor guy.) That was Saturday.

Today was a blur that started with making a big breakfast and then taking the boys for much-needed haircuts,and then later taking DD to buy shoes, which was a disaster. She hates everything, and wants pink shoes! Our problems are made worse by her very narrow feet; there are many styles which she literally cannot wear. I think the experience with her ("Never again," I vowed, "next time you're going shopping with Daddy.") gave me some energy because when DH took all three of them to buy cleats for soccer, I did not, for once, laze around doing nothing: I cleaned the house and started the laundry and all that.

And now I'm waiting for the last of the laundry to be out of the dryer, which is acting up again, but still works well for the most part. I'm happy for that. The past few months' medical expenses would've paid for a new washer and dryer -- it's a very good thing we don't need them.

1 comment:

Tracey said...

I have had plenty of days like this. You've been hit with issue after issue. You're human and this stuff takes its toll. I have been thinking about you and what you're going through. I had to read back through your posts to remind myself exactly what you chose to do regarding the lump. Are you getting the lumpectomy today or are you just taking the films somewhere today to show them to a doctor? Either way my thoughts are with you. I am waiting STILL for word on my MRI.