Thursday, October 19, 2006

Project Runway, finale

I blame Ann Althouse for getting me hooked on Project Runway, Bravo's popular reality show which features fashion designers sketching, sewing, and frantically trying to put their "look" up on the runway on time, and without boring the judges.

It's a tall order.

This season has been replete with melodrama, and I think, like many PR fans, I was more relieved than anything that last night's finale would be the end of it.

The problem with this season of PR is that it took way too long to get to this point. The designers showed at Olympus Fashion Week ages ago, and photos of all the collections have been circulating on the web for just as long.

In the meantime, PR producers have been leaking snippets of gossip, and the last few episodes featured a rather lame melodrama: would Jeffrey be disqualified? Oh, please.

Jeffrey's on-screen rehabilitation took only a couple of episodes. We got to hear his recovery story again, and we got to meet his charming little boy and fierce (in a great way) girlfriend. The editors have been much, much kinder to him, and so you knew what was coming:

Jeffrey won.

He won for being "innovative" and "fresh" and having a signature look that wasn't boring (Laura, Uli), old (Laura), or trashy (Michael)-- as the judges say, "the taste was questionable." I wish they'd come right out and say "tacky" some time.

If you think that skinny jeans with fake holes with top-stitched patches are innovative, more power to you. Like Jeffrey's winning jet-setter outfit:

they are reminiscent of what the Rolling Stones have been wearing since the early 80s:

But someone must actually like them, because Jeffrey's Cosa Nostra line was doing very well even before he debuted on PR.

As for the rest of the collection, Jeffrey's blue dresses were both total misses: hideous. The long, flowing gown was like Uli-gone-wrong, and made me appreciate what she does all the more.
Jeffrey: wrong

Uli: right

And the short blue dress was Laura-gone-wrong! I thought that was pretty funny.
Jeffrey: wrong, again

Laura: proving short and straight doesn't have to mean "boxy and unattractive"

Even the judges agreed that both of these Jeffrey designs were disasterous.

I question Jeffrey's appreciation of the female body, when he puts up a dress like this one:

The model looks like a lollipop, and the dress is so short that anyone walking by at a brisk pace could easily rustle up enough breeze to show off her nethers to the world. But Jeffrey's taste is not "questionable," according to the judges. At least Michael Knight knows how to do a booty dress while keeping the most important bits covered.

While Jeffrey gets the $100K, the Saturn roadster (sweet!), and all the hoo-ha, it's not as if Michael, Laura, and Uli lost. They all have futures in fashion if they want them. I'm glad they all got to show.

Let me address a final note to parents, or parents-to-be, everywhere: do not tattoo the name of your first-born around your neck, unless you are 100% sure you will never have another child. If little Harrison Detroit ever has siblings, they are already doomed to an inferior status, since his dad doesn't have any more neck real estate to devote to them. And Jeffrey can't go and get his scrolling tattoo lasered off, either, because how would that make little Harrison feel? So, parents, at least learn this lesson from Jeffrey Sebelia, and eschew the prominent tattoo.

Many thanks to the stellar staff of Blogging Project Runway, who have fed my addiction in the nicest possible way throughout this season. They are a shining example of the quality that the citizen-journalists of the web can produce. Kudos!

No comments: