I'm having trouble posting photos to the blog from my mother's computer. I'm not sure what the trouble is, but it is really frustrating!
I love having my little rental car. It's a Chevy Cobalt, and the most stripped-down car ever. The windows are manual, the door locks are manual -- there isn't even a "lock all doors" button, which means I have to remind the kids to lock their doors all the time. That's OK, we all fit, and it has a zippy little engine, handling highway speeds without a shudder or hesitation. Of course, highway speeds in MA means 65-75 mph, as opposed to Phoenix where highway speeds are 75-85 mph, but the car is in New England and it's suiting me just fine.
What is not suiting me at all, it turns out, is this haircut. I have to spend at least 20 minutes straightening it to get it to look somewhat decent, as in the pictures below -- but on beach days, it's all crazy-curly, to the point that even DD comments, "Mom, your hair looks wild." The problem is, the back is too short to control (after a month of growing out, it's barely two inches in some places with all the layering), even though the front is finally long enough to pin back. I will just have to put up with it until it grows out -- but I'm officially warning myself here never to get my hair cut that short again unless I am willing to commit myself to it being curly.
Friday, June 29, 2007
blur
I think I say the same thing every summer, but it really has all been rushing by. So let me hit the high points so far for sometime this winter when I will be tired of drab and dry and gray and brown...
We went east much earlier this year for Mom's 80th birthday celebration. Here I am with the birthday girl:
And here's nearly everyone (save for the brother who took this shot) who assembled for the momentous occasion:
Here's a nice picture of the family:
After the party, things start to become fuzzy. The weather has been fantastic, but cool. So we went to the Zooquarium one day, and to the beach another -- actually two beaches that day, and my niece found a whelk which, post cooking and bleaching, makes a beautiful addition to her shell collection:
We made our annual pilgrimmage to Beebe Woods (nearly dead link, there), the beautiful conservation land up behind the Falmouth branch of the Cape Cod Conservatory, on the most perfect day imaginable -- clear blue sky, no humidity, not a mosquito in sight (although I insisted on insect repellent for everyone, remembering previous trips into these woods.) It's not so much a hike as an enjoyable ramble, with a snack at the Punch Bowl, the little kettle pond at the end of the mostly-easy path.
The way back was more nature-walkish, as I was finally able to get the kids to slow down enough to look at the dessicated lady slippers, the wild pink orchids formerly impossible to find, but seemingly everywhere this year. We saw indian pipes and smelled sassafras leaves and roots, found nests in trees and avoided poison ivy.
The weather warmed up a bit and we went to Good Will Park, where the kids can both swim and exhaust themselves on the playground equipment.
Road trip! We all -- Mom included -- piled into two cars and drove up to the New England Aquarium, where we saw Deep Sea 3D at the IMAX (you wouldn't think there would be much difference from theater to theater, given the IMAX format, but there is, and the NEA's IMAX is awesome), then wandered around the aquarium for a while, had a snack, plundered the gift shop, and then braved the rush hour traffic to head to my brother's house for dinner. That was a day... if I thought I would ever forget the details of its myriad stresses, I'd write them all out, but no one should have to endure such things, even second hand. Gorgeous things to look at in the aquarium, though:
Back on the Cape, the weather continued to warm up and so we tried out Wood Neck beach -- a great beach for combing, but not for the kind of play the kids like, and so back we went to our favorite, Chapoquoit, where we all had a blast jumping in the humongous waves. I was, in fact, in the water having fun myself, and so have no pictures to show for it.
And now I'm here, finally having a chance to blog. This summer things are very different at my Mom's because my sister-in-law is there with her two kids. The positives far outweigh the negatives, namely that my brother and his wife permit their kids to do all manner of things I forbid or strongly discourage in my own. I wondered how that would go, but it's been great because my sis-in-law doesn't expect me to keep my mouth shut when her kids get uppity, and she has taken many pages from my book (nearly literally -- I printed out a copy of Mrs. H's class rules for her, and she loves them).
It's fantastic having another grown-up around, too, as neither me nor my sis-in-law wants to burden Mom with anything, so it's great to have someone who can watch the kids while one of us runs an errand or something -- and it's just very nice to have someone around to have a cup of tea with in the evening after the kids are in bed, to review the day and just chat. This living arrangement gives me a good idea of what living in a traditional extended family must have been like. I'm sure it could be hellish if the wrong people were involved, but when we're talking about someone as nice as my sister-in-law, it's pretty awesome.
We went east much earlier this year for Mom's 80th birthday celebration. Here I am with the birthday girl:
And here's nearly everyone (save for the brother who took this shot) who assembled for the momentous occasion:
Here's a nice picture of the family:
After the party, things start to become fuzzy. The weather has been fantastic, but cool. So we went to the Zooquarium one day, and to the beach another -- actually two beaches that day, and my niece found a whelk which, post cooking and bleaching, makes a beautiful addition to her shell collection:
We made our annual pilgrimmage to Beebe Woods (nearly dead link, there), the beautiful conservation land up behind the Falmouth branch of the Cape Cod Conservatory, on the most perfect day imaginable -- clear blue sky, no humidity, not a mosquito in sight (although I insisted on insect repellent for everyone, remembering previous trips into these woods.) It's not so much a hike as an enjoyable ramble, with a snack at the Punch Bowl, the little kettle pond at the end of the mostly-easy path.
The way back was more nature-walkish, as I was finally able to get the kids to slow down enough to look at the dessicated lady slippers, the wild pink orchids formerly impossible to find, but seemingly everywhere this year. We saw indian pipes and smelled sassafras leaves and roots, found nests in trees and avoided poison ivy.
The weather warmed up a bit and we went to Good Will Park, where the kids can both swim and exhaust themselves on the playground equipment.
Road trip! We all -- Mom included -- piled into two cars and drove up to the New England Aquarium, where we saw Deep Sea 3D at the IMAX (you wouldn't think there would be much difference from theater to theater, given the IMAX format, but there is, and the NEA's IMAX is awesome), then wandered around the aquarium for a while, had a snack, plundered the gift shop, and then braved the rush hour traffic to head to my brother's house for dinner. That was a day... if I thought I would ever forget the details of its myriad stresses, I'd write them all out, but no one should have to endure such things, even second hand. Gorgeous things to look at in the aquarium, though:
Back on the Cape, the weather continued to warm up and so we tried out Wood Neck beach -- a great beach for combing, but not for the kind of play the kids like, and so back we went to our favorite, Chapoquoit, where we all had a blast jumping in the humongous waves. I was, in fact, in the water having fun myself, and so have no pictures to show for it.
And now I'm here, finally having a chance to blog. This summer things are very different at my Mom's because my sister-in-law is there with her two kids. The positives far outweigh the negatives, namely that my brother and his wife permit their kids to do all manner of things I forbid or strongly discourage in my own. I wondered how that would go, but it's been great because my sis-in-law doesn't expect me to keep my mouth shut when her kids get uppity, and she has taken many pages from my book (nearly literally -- I printed out a copy of Mrs. H's class rules for her, and she loves them).
It's fantastic having another grown-up around, too, as neither me nor my sis-in-law wants to burden Mom with anything, so it's great to have someone who can watch the kids while one of us runs an errand or something -- and it's just very nice to have someone around to have a cup of tea with in the evening after the kids are in bed, to review the day and just chat. This living arrangement gives me a good idea of what living in a traditional extended family must have been like. I'm sure it could be hellish if the wrong people were involved, but when we're talking about someone as nice as my sister-in-law, it's pretty awesome.
interlude
I'm home, the kids are with the in-laws, and it's very, very odd. And wonderful.
This is the longest time DH and I have ever been away from the kids, other than when I was in Houston at M. D. Anderson having my neck dissection surgery -- and that doesn't count, because I wasn't conscious for a lot of that time, and it certainly wasn't romantic.
But this is. It's important to remember that we were a couple before we were parents.
This is the longest time DH and I have ever been away from the kids, other than when I was in Houston at M. D. Anderson having my neck dissection surgery -- and that doesn't count, because I wasn't conscious for a lot of that time, and it certainly wasn't romantic.
But this is. It's important to remember that we were a couple before we were parents.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
mouselings
We relented today and took the kids to the beach, knowing full well it was going to be 1) too cold and 2) too windy to enjoy it. Of course, we were right, but they all went into the ocean anyway, and the larger ones stayed in for the better part of an hour, jumping in the huge waves. The smaller ones had to give up sooner, because the waves were so big they were knocking them over. DD got a nasty scrape on her knee when she tumbled into some rocks. When all four of the younger ones were huddled under their towels, trying to shield themselves from the thousands of tiny needles of the blowing sand, we finally called the older ones in and called it quits, packing up and carting everything back to the car.
That's when I found them, one on the walkway, one in the parking lot, and one actually being blown along the sand of the beach itself: three little mouse-babies, about an inch and a half long, utterly unable to cope with the impossible wind.
I noticed the one at the edge of the boardwalk first, and we all exclaimed over how cute it was, but it was clearly lost. I scooped it up with a shovel and put it near the wall of big rocks so it could find some shelter, but the first thing it did was climb out and head for the parking lot. We steered it towards the walkway and eventually it went beneath, out of the wind.
On the way back from the car to get more stuff, I noticed the poor wind-swept one on the beach. Every time the wind blew he tried to flatten himself out, but since the sand itself was blowing, the pathetic little thing couldn't get a hold on anything, and ended up being tumbled. I scooped him up and brought him up to the walkway, where he could get some shelter and some companionship. He was clearly dazed and even more loopy than the first mouseling had been. He had so much sand in his fur he was probably carrying twice his normal body weight, but that didn't stop him from trying to get somewhere... anywhere. He was literally going in (very small) circles.
The last mouse was lying flat in the parking lot, clinging for dear life as the wind whipped over him. I scooped him up with some difficulty as he was much more lively than either of his brothers, and he did end up scampering over my hand while I moved him to the walkway. He seemed to have his wits about him, though, and dived right under. His poor sand-covered brother was still shivering at the edge of the walkway.
Of course during all this time the kids were exclaiming over the cuteness of the little mice, and we all felt very sorry for them. Obviously they'd lost their mom; they just seemed too clueless to be running around the beach on their own like that. One thought just occurred to me, which is that they may have been nesting in our car (the beach and parking lot were nearly deserted), which would explain how they got to the beach/parking lot in the first place. Oh, no!
The odds that the mouselings will survive is very low, and I knew it was a futile effort to try and save them -- but I had to do it anyway. I suppose it would have been better (and kinder to the mice, too) if I had just scooped them up and tossed them in the trashcan. They would've been out of the wind entirely there, most likely with a supply of food as well. But that just seemed heartless, and as silly as it sounds, I wanted to give them a chance. There are far too many hungry gulls and a huge nest of ospreys near that beach for such tasty little mice snacks to last long in the open. What does it say about me that I can be realistic to the point of callousness about such things -- those mice aren't long for this world -- but that I still made the effort to make their likely final hours a little less unpleasant? Being wind blown to death just seems like such a dreadful, useless way to die.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
the same, only different
So, here we are again in Falmouth and adjusting to our summer life.
I remembered yesterday -- too late! -- that the delightful-sounding Coffee Toffee sundae at Friendly's has more candy than ice cream; the same thing happened last year. But when a whole year elapses before you see it on a menu again, you forget. Well, I did, anyway.
Today we all piled into two cars and visited the Zooquarium in West Yarmouth, where we learned to our dismay that the two sea lions had died last August. They both led long and happy lives, so it's difficult to be sad for them, but we were disappointed that we wouldn't see the show. We were nevertheless charmed by the two animal presentations we did see, one of a pot-bellied pig, and one of a pygmy African hedgehog, which has to be among the cutest animals in existence. The sneeze-bark sound is hysterical.
I'm trying to keep the kids on track with things like eating, sleeping, and not turning into snide, disrespectful jerks, with moderate success on all counts... it's a constant battle.
We've made a good beginning.
I remembered yesterday -- too late! -- that the delightful-sounding Coffee Toffee sundae at Friendly's has more candy than ice cream; the same thing happened last year. But when a whole year elapses before you see it on a menu again, you forget. Well, I did, anyway.
Today we all piled into two cars and visited the Zooquarium in West Yarmouth, where we learned to our dismay that the two sea lions had died last August. They both led long and happy lives, so it's difficult to be sad for them, but we were disappointed that we wouldn't see the show. We were nevertheless charmed by the two animal presentations we did see, one of a pot-bellied pig, and one of a pygmy African hedgehog, which has to be among the cutest animals in existence. The sneeze-bark sound is hysterical.
I'm trying to keep the kids on track with things like eating, sleeping, and not turning into snide, disrespectful jerks, with moderate success on all counts... it's a constant battle.
We've made a good beginning.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
time to go!
Actually, I still have about 7 hours or so.
Somehow, everything got done today -- the errands, the haircuts for the boys, the cleaning, the additional laundry, the packing. And with the exception of one long linen dress eaten by the washing machine, everything came together without a hitch. (Including being able to reschedule DS1's 8:30AM missed allergist appointment -- we all overslept -- for 4PM this afternoon. That never happens!)
Our bedroom was covered from one end to the other with stuff to be packed. I spent the entire day spiraling up and down the stairs, in and out of various rooms to assemble everything, so after we put the kids to bed, all we had to do was pile it into the various suitcases and duffle bags, and that was done shortly after 9PM, which must be some sort of record.
Now I'm second-guessing some of my packing decisions, but there's no point in doing anything about it now. Off to bed -- tomorrow will be a very, very long day.
Somehow, everything got done today -- the errands, the haircuts for the boys, the cleaning, the additional laundry, the packing. And with the exception of one long linen dress eaten by the washing machine, everything came together without a hitch. (Including being able to reschedule DS1's 8:30AM missed allergist appointment -- we all overslept -- for 4PM this afternoon. That never happens!)
Our bedroom was covered from one end to the other with stuff to be packed. I spent the entire day spiraling up and down the stairs, in and out of various rooms to assemble everything, so after we put the kids to bed, all we had to do was pile it into the various suitcases and duffle bags, and that was done shortly after 9PM, which must be some sort of record.
Now I'm second-guessing some of my packing decisions, but there's no point in doing anything about it now. Off to bed -- tomorrow will be a very, very long day.
panic!
We're leaving Friday and will be gone for, oh, approximately 7 weeks. Haven't started packing yet, either.
What have I been doing? Hmmm, let me see -- we purged the bookcases, the playroom, and DD's room, and got rid of a huge amount outgrown books and toys, not to mention trash. That took a whole day.
Today was laundry day, plus getting our new cat caretaker acquainted with the kitties and their routine, plus doing stuff I should've done weeks ago -- loading the photos onto the digital photo frame we got for Mom's birthday, and doing the pages for her scrapbook.
Now I'm thinking that I need an entire extra suitcase for things I want to bring (like my knitting) that are not made for travel. But I'm going to be gone long enough that I want them with me. Maybe I'll pack them up and ship them? We'll see.
Oddly, I'm not panicked yet, because I have all day tomorrow, and the laundry is already finished, and now it's just a question of pulling things together. I'm off to check the long-range forecast to see how cold it will be, to help in the decision on how much cold-weather clothes we need to bring.
What have I been doing? Hmmm, let me see -- we purged the bookcases, the playroom, and DD's room, and got rid of a huge amount outgrown books and toys, not to mention trash. That took a whole day.
Today was laundry day, plus getting our new cat caretaker acquainted with the kitties and their routine, plus doing stuff I should've done weeks ago -- loading the photos onto the digital photo frame we got for Mom's birthday, and doing the pages for her scrapbook.
Now I'm thinking that I need an entire extra suitcase for things I want to bring (like my knitting) that are not made for travel. But I'm going to be gone long enough that I want them with me. Maybe I'll pack them up and ship them? We'll see.
Oddly, I'm not panicked yet, because I have all day tomorrow, and the laundry is already finished, and now it's just a question of pulling things together. I'm off to check the long-range forecast to see how cold it will be, to help in the decision on how much cold-weather clothes we need to bring.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
pathetic
DS2 came down with a stomach virus a few days ago, but bounced back quickly the next day. I was hit by the same horror yesterday, and after a day in bed doing my best not to puke, I'm better, but still pretty far along on the Ick scale. At least I don't feel like puking anymore.
I missed the Red Sox-Diamondbacks game yesterday, and I'm not fit to do anything today, either. I'm just hoping that I'll get better quickly, because Friday we're flying out.
When DS2 was sick he perfectly described the fear that always accompanies that kind of misery: I'm never going to get better! I don't know why he would say that -- yeah, he has had a couple of longer-running illnesses, but nothing you could categorize as chronic -- but I sympathized. I mean, I have conditions that won't ever get better, and right now I'm praying that what I'm going through really is temporary, and not some new manifestation of the interesting ways in which a body can break down without actually killing you.
I missed the Red Sox-Diamondbacks game yesterday, and I'm not fit to do anything today, either. I'm just hoping that I'll get better quickly, because Friday we're flying out.
When DS2 was sick he perfectly described the fear that always accompanies that kind of misery: I'm never going to get better! I don't know why he would say that -- yeah, he has had a couple of longer-running illnesses, but nothing you could categorize as chronic -- but I sympathized. I mean, I have conditions that won't ever get better, and right now I'm praying that what I'm going through really is temporary, and not some new manifestation of the interesting ways in which a body can break down without actually killing you.
Monday, June 04, 2007
that's better
I did finally get moving and managed to do just about everything I wanted to do today, but now I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm not used to manual labor, and loading up a van full of furniture definitely qualifies. Given the state of the van's floors prior to my cleaning them, I'm pretty sure vacuuming qualifies as manual labor, also.
The kids are all spun up, having only one and a half days left of school. DS1 checked his grades online today and rejoiced at having pulled out all A's, announcing, "I've got all A's and nothing can happen to change that now!" He was so happy. I was so happy because it was his accomplishment, not mine. Very minimal nagging happened in this last quarter of school.
Tomorrow: grocery shopping, laundry, and the last of the clean-up. I want to be able to enjoy Wednesday with the kids, and Thursday, late morning, my in-laws arrive for their long weekend here. Whee!
The kids are all spun up, having only one and a half days left of school. DS1 checked his grades online today and rejoiced at having pulled out all A's, announcing, "I've got all A's and nothing can happen to change that now!" He was so happy. I was so happy because it was his accomplishment, not mine. Very minimal nagging happened in this last quarter of school.
Tomorrow: grocery shopping, laundry, and the last of the clean-up. I want to be able to enjoy Wednesday with the kids, and Thursday, late morning, my in-laws arrive for their long weekend here. Whee!
typical
I've been up for two hours, and what have I done? Made breakfast for the kids, made lunches for the kids to take to school, read a number of blogs, posted comments on a few, made a few phone calls. Not much to show, and I haven't even eaten breakfast yet.
Meanwhile, my in-laws arrive on Thursday and the house is an absolute disaster. Partly because the guest room had become the "junk room" after my Mom left last winter, and I had been accumulating stuff to go to charity in there, all of which needs to be inventoried, packed up, and delivered to the donation center.
But more than that, there's furniture and bedding where it doesn't belong, also. Looking over the guest room Saturday morning, DH and I once again discussed how the over-sized furniture in there made it difficult to move around, and for the Nth time talked about getting some smaller, sleeker furniture which could be arranged to leave more floor space. We had a big cherry sleigh bed in there:
Along with two matching night stands that were more the size of end tables, and a humongous 6-drawer double-length dresser. All of this furniture is beautiful, but approached dysfunctional in the smallish guest room.
So yesterday we hauled the entire family off to Ikea and replaced the gorgeous solid wood cherry-stained furniture with way cheaper stuff, and DH spent most of the rest of the day putting it together. (I helped, but it was mostly him, so I'm not going to take any credit). We got this bed, these nightstands, and this dresser, which will fit in the walk-in closet. The double dresser was too big, and has been moved into an upstairs closet for now, which resulted in another large pile of stuff that needs to be sorted through and mostly disposed of, one way or another.
Furniture assembly is not yet complete, and that's another thing I could be working on, but really, I have to get rid of the stuff that's just haphazardly piled up all over the place. It's just too much! Maybe if I have some breakfast, it won't seem so bad...
Meanwhile, my in-laws arrive on Thursday and the house is an absolute disaster. Partly because the guest room had become the "junk room" after my Mom left last winter, and I had been accumulating stuff to go to charity in there, all of which needs to be inventoried, packed up, and delivered to the donation center.
But more than that, there's furniture and bedding where it doesn't belong, also. Looking over the guest room Saturday morning, DH and I once again discussed how the over-sized furniture in there made it difficult to move around, and for the Nth time talked about getting some smaller, sleeker furniture which could be arranged to leave more floor space. We had a big cherry sleigh bed in there:
Along with two matching night stands that were more the size of end tables, and a humongous 6-drawer double-length dresser. All of this furniture is beautiful, but approached dysfunctional in the smallish guest room. So yesterday we hauled the entire family off to Ikea and replaced the gorgeous solid wood cherry-stained furniture with way cheaper stuff, and DH spent most of the rest of the day putting it together. (I helped, but it was mostly him, so I'm not going to take any credit). We got this bed, these nightstands, and this dresser, which will fit in the walk-in closet. The double dresser was too big, and has been moved into an upstairs closet for now, which resulted in another large pile of stuff that needs to be sorted through and mostly disposed of, one way or another.
Furniture assembly is not yet complete, and that's another thing I could be working on, but really, I have to get rid of the stuff that's just haphazardly piled up all over the place. It's just too much! Maybe if I have some breakfast, it won't seem so bad...
Saturday, June 02, 2007
a delightful day
The ultrasound was negative -- they didn't see anything unusual at all. I learned this news about 10AM, when the PA from my doctor's office called me. She was happy about the ultrasound, but with my history, she wanted to follow up with a CAT scan. I was able to talk her out of it very quickly, though -- I noted I can't have anything done with contrast, because I have a whole body scan scheduled for August, and the iodine would not have cleared my system by then. She seemed pleased that the WBS was already scheduled, and was satisfied to leave it at that. So, another expensive medical test was averted, at least for today.
In other news, my TSH is still too high (0.188) and my Tg is 0.6. I shall work on my endo to give my Levoxyl another uptick, and proceed with my life as planned. (whew!)
I spent the day engaged mostly in laundry and reading, for the first time, the delightful Pride and Prejudice. Having seen the mini-series and the newest movie countless times, I was very curious to see how much of the book each version had excised, and whether or not I would enjoy the book as much as I had the films.
Save for a minor irritation at Austen's propensity for italics in her dialog, I loved it. I'm amazed at the economy of her descriptions, which remain powerful nonetheless. I suspect my own electronic scribbles here will suffer from unconsciously imitating her style for some days, but then again, I've always written weirdly. At least I don't use as many semi-colons as Austen does. (usually!)
In other news, my TSH is still too high (0.188) and my Tg is 0.6. I shall work on my endo to give my Levoxyl another uptick, and proceed with my life as planned. (whew!)
I spent the day engaged mostly in laundry and reading, for the first time, the delightful Pride and Prejudice. Having seen the mini-series and the newest movie countless times, I was very curious to see how much of the book each version had excised, and whether or not I would enjoy the book as much as I had the films.
Save for a minor irritation at Austen's propensity for italics in her dialog, I loved it. I'm amazed at the economy of her descriptions, which remain powerful nonetheless. I suspect my own electronic scribbles here will suffer from unconsciously imitating her style for some days, but then again, I've always written weirdly. At least I don't use as many semi-colons as Austen does. (usually!)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
carpe diem
I had the ultrasound this morning, and it went as well as could be expected. I had prepared by finding a copy of one of my ultrasound reports from M.D.Anderson, and rehearsing in my head what I wanted to say to the technician.
He called me back with the usual pleasant chit-chat, and asked me to lie on the table. I took the reins then and said, "I'd like to talk to you first."
This kind of thing is always delicate, because you don't want to offend the person who is about to test you. So I did my best to just be calm and factual, and I told him about the thyroidectomy in 2004, and the neck dissections procedures in 2005, and then I told him I had had several post-op ultrasounds and gave him the report to look at.
I appreciated that he took the time to read the report very carefully, and then he asked if he could make a copy of it -- of course I said yes, the more information the radiologist has, the better. When he got back from copying, I told him about the recent lumpiness, and my theories -- could be nerve regeneration, could be scar tissue, could be... recurrence. And I told him with any enlarged nodes it was important to use the Doppler because increased vascularization is a good indicator of malignancy. He was amenable to all this and listened to me, which I appreciated.
Then it was time for the exam. The setup was good, with an extra monitor positioned in front of the exam table, up on the wall, in a perfect spot for me to see everything that was going on. I saw everything, and am satisfied that he did a thorough examination. One thing that was interesting to me was that he used two different wands. He explained that one can penetrate deeper but doesn't show as fine detail, while the other, smaller one shows finer details. I'd never seen that before.
What I saw -- who knows? I did see something that looked weird near the carotid artery (it's perfectly round and easy to spot). When he turned the Doppler on that one area, the carotid and the two lumpy masses near it all turned red -- not spots or streaks of red and blue, just straight red. I've never seen that before, either.
He didn't measure anything while I was on the table. I noted that to him, and he half-smiled and said, "I can't tell you anything," because he was just waiting for me to ask him -- how could I not? He knows I saw something in there. So I said, "Can I ask you a technique question? Do you have to measure live, or can you measure from the pictures?" He told me you could do it either way, so... I honestly think he didn't measure while I was on the table because he wanted to get it over for me as soon as possible.
Right now, I'm leaning towards scar tissue. But even if it is recurrence, I've decided, after a conversation with dear G, my mentor and co-facilitator, that there's no point in ruining my summer. The earliest they would probably be able to operate would be mid-July, so it can go till August, if need be.
Hence, seizing the day, and the really, really cheap airfare, I booked a ticket for a long weekend back here in AZ with DH -- the in-laws are psyched to have the kids, and DH and I can have what amounts to a vacation. It will just be Thursday night to Monday morning, but without the kids, and having been apart for two weeks? Perfect.
He called me back with the usual pleasant chit-chat, and asked me to lie on the table. I took the reins then and said, "I'd like to talk to you first."
This kind of thing is always delicate, because you don't want to offend the person who is about to test you. So I did my best to just be calm and factual, and I told him about the thyroidectomy in 2004, and the neck dissections procedures in 2005, and then I told him I had had several post-op ultrasounds and gave him the report to look at.
I appreciated that he took the time to read the report very carefully, and then he asked if he could make a copy of it -- of course I said yes, the more information the radiologist has, the better. When he got back from copying, I told him about the recent lumpiness, and my theories -- could be nerve regeneration, could be scar tissue, could be... recurrence. And I told him with any enlarged nodes it was important to use the Doppler because increased vascularization is a good indicator of malignancy. He was amenable to all this and listened to me, which I appreciated.
Then it was time for the exam. The setup was good, with an extra monitor positioned in front of the exam table, up on the wall, in a perfect spot for me to see everything that was going on. I saw everything, and am satisfied that he did a thorough examination. One thing that was interesting to me was that he used two different wands. He explained that one can penetrate deeper but doesn't show as fine detail, while the other, smaller one shows finer details. I'd never seen that before.
What I saw -- who knows? I did see something that looked weird near the carotid artery (it's perfectly round and easy to spot). When he turned the Doppler on that one area, the carotid and the two lumpy masses near it all turned red -- not spots or streaks of red and blue, just straight red. I've never seen that before, either.
He didn't measure anything while I was on the table. I noted that to him, and he half-smiled and said, "I can't tell you anything," because he was just waiting for me to ask him -- how could I not? He knows I saw something in there. So I said, "Can I ask you a technique question? Do you have to measure live, or can you measure from the pictures?" He told me you could do it either way, so... I honestly think he didn't measure while I was on the table because he wanted to get it over for me as soon as possible.
Right now, I'm leaning towards scar tissue. But even if it is recurrence, I've decided, after a conversation with dear G, my mentor and co-facilitator, that there's no point in ruining my summer. The earliest they would probably be able to operate would be mid-July, so it can go till August, if need be.
Hence, seizing the day, and the really, really cheap airfare, I booked a ticket for a long weekend back here in AZ with DH -- the in-laws are psyched to have the kids, and DH and I can have what amounts to a vacation. It will just be Thursday night to Monday morning, but without the kids, and having been apart for two weeks? Perfect.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
the adventures of Flat Stanley in AZ
You know how, in a job interview, you'll sometimes be asked, "What's your biggest flaw?"
The standard advice is to take some positive characteristic and turn it around: "I care too much," or some such.
It's all pretty much garbage, right? Verbal filler to get you through that interminable length of time before you can shake the applicant's hand and usher him or her out, pleasantly, yes, but with profound relief. (I once did a college recruiting tour for my first employer -- I would rather be stuck with hot pokers than ever have to do that again.)
As a veteran interviewer, I routinely ignored those standard "too much of a good thing" replies. But today I realized maybe I was too hasty all those years ago, because today was proof that I really can be insanely meticulous about some things. Witness the 13-printed-page Flat Stanley letter I just wrote to send back to my godson.
DH thinks I went overboard, and I probably did. But it is a really awesome, quick overview of some of the cool history, and natural history, of Arizona. It is by no means complete but it does cover a lot of topics, and it's mostly photos, anyway. Of course putting this together necessitated a trip to the Mesa Southwest Museum, but that's not something anyone around here ever complains about.
What a day. Ultrasound tomorrow morning at 6:50; I'm pretty sure this borderline obsessive behavior was unconsciously done to keep my mind off it.
The standard advice is to take some positive characteristic and turn it around: "I care too much," or some such.
It's all pretty much garbage, right? Verbal filler to get you through that interminable length of time before you can shake the applicant's hand and usher him or her out, pleasantly, yes, but with profound relief. (I once did a college recruiting tour for my first employer -- I would rather be stuck with hot pokers than ever have to do that again.)
As a veteran interviewer, I routinely ignored those standard "too much of a good thing" replies. But today I realized maybe I was too hasty all those years ago, because today was proof that I really can be insanely meticulous about some things. Witness the 13-printed-page Flat Stanley letter I just wrote to send back to my godson.
DH thinks I went overboard, and I probably did. But it is a really awesome, quick overview of some of the cool history, and natural history, of Arizona. It is by no means complete but it does cover a lot of topics, and it's mostly photos, anyway. Of course putting this together necessitated a trip to the Mesa Southwest Museum, but that's not something anyone around here ever complains about.
What a day. Ultrasound tomorrow morning at 6:50; I'm pretty sure this borderline obsessive behavior was unconsciously done to keep my mind off it.
one weekend, summer
Friday morning I called my endo's office to tell them about the lumpiness in my throat. I spoke to the doctor's assistant, who brightly informed me that the doctor had two cancellations for that afternoon -- one at 3PM, and one at 4PM.
The kids get out of school at 3:15, so technically, the 4PM appointment was feasible. However, it was the Friday before the long weekend, DS1 needed to work on his research report, and I had already made a long, long drive that morning up to N. Phoenix for a different appointment.
Plus, I wanted to be able to go to the resort and have fun and not think about the possibility of recurrence for a couple of days.
This, I was able to do -- it was a wonderful two days, and I enjoyed being able to hoist myself out of the pool without trouble, and being able to pick up DS2 and throw him into the water, and letting DD clamber up onto my shoulders to jump back into the pool. I'd never done that last, before, and it surprised me that the hardest part was not lifting her onto my shoulders, but helping her to keep steady so she could stand up without falling back in.
Turns out that I can't get in to see the endo, or anyone in that practice, until June 7, so I called my gp's office and have an appointment for tomorrow morning. They'll write up an order for an ultasound at one of those imaging labs, which could be useless but not if I get a technician I can talk to beforehand -- I know what they need to look for, after all.
So we'll see how it goes. A friend told me I was foolish not to take the appointment on Friday, because then I would know already -- but I just couldn't do it. As frivolous as it sounds, I didn't want to ruin the weekend. Faced with the possibility that last weekend may have been the best part of the summer, the only real "summer" I'd get, there was no way I was going to let anything taint it.
The kids get out of school at 3:15, so technically, the 4PM appointment was feasible. However, it was the Friday before the long weekend, DS1 needed to work on his research report, and I had already made a long, long drive that morning up to N. Phoenix for a different appointment.
Plus, I wanted to be able to go to the resort and have fun and not think about the possibility of recurrence for a couple of days.
This, I was able to do -- it was a wonderful two days, and I enjoyed being able to hoist myself out of the pool without trouble, and being able to pick up DS2 and throw him into the water, and letting DD clamber up onto my shoulders to jump back into the pool. I'd never done that last, before, and it surprised me that the hardest part was not lifting her onto my shoulders, but helping her to keep steady so she could stand up without falling back in.
Turns out that I can't get in to see the endo, or anyone in that practice, until June 7, so I called my gp's office and have an appointment for tomorrow morning. They'll write up an order for an ultasound at one of those imaging labs, which could be useless but not if I get a technician I can talk to beforehand -- I know what they need to look for, after all.
So we'll see how it goes. A friend told me I was foolish not to take the appointment on Friday, because then I would know already -- but I just couldn't do it. As frivolous as it sounds, I didn't want to ruin the weekend. Faced with the possibility that last weekend may have been the best part of the summer, the only real "summer" I'd get, there was no way I was going to let anything taint it.
Friday, May 25, 2007
such times we live in
Over at The House Next Door, a link to a particularly sarcasm-laden review of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End led me to comment on the critic's behavior:
Further down in the comment thread, we got into a discussion of critics and criticism in general. I've given a lot of thought to this, over several years, and here's how I think about it:
Another commenter jumped all over me for calling critics parasites, and a whole host of other things -- I eventually gave it another try, because I don't think what I'm saying here is inaccurate in the least:
Am I really so wrong about this? How so?
If you admit, up front, that you're bored and/or unimpressed with the spectacle, that you went in knowing it would suck, then I'm going to discount you and your review. Don't review PotC:AWE as if it's Bergman -- it's not pretending to be. It's supposed to be big, stupid fun, and I can't tell whether or not it succeeds at that because Lee's attitude is piss-poor from the minute he planted his seat in the theater. You can feel his resentment of this franchise, cluttering up his cineplexes, thwarting his desires that every screen be showing something more worthy.
Further down in the comment thread, we got into a discussion of critics and criticism in general. I've given a lot of thought to this, over several years, and here's how I think about it:
[O]rdinary people don't work as film critics [...] -- it's as simple as that. Your income is tied to your opinions, and your ability to express them, and therefore you're a member of an elite cadre, even if you're not willing to admit it. What percentage of the population do you think is made up of people who support themselves as critics? I'm sure its infinitesimal. Ordinary people go to work and make things (in this, factory workers are not so different from software engineers), or serve others, or a cause (waitresses, cabbies, CPAs, politicians).I'm sure you've noticed how many critics -- not at all of them, but a lot -- can't help telling you how much smarter than everyone else they are? Not explicitly, usually, but they find ways to make sure you know it. That's the attitude I'm talking about. Even the ones that don't have a superior attitude have to believe, by definition, that their opinions are so valuable that a larger audience should read them.
But a critic exists only in symbiotic relationship with the industry he critiques, and whether or not he survives is entirely dependent on the goodwill of the audience, and to a certain extent, the industry itself. It's a perilous position, and to survive it you have to convince yourself that you are adding value, providing a service, doing something besides hitching a ride on the back of someone else's hard work. And that gives you an attitude[.]
Another commenter jumped all over me for calling critics parasites, and a whole host of other things -- I eventually gave it another try, because I don't think what I'm saying here is inaccurate in the least:
[I] see where criticism, as a whole, fits into society and the economy, what role it plays, and its relevance to the population at large.
In short: it's not all that important. Before you go getting all shirty with me again, think about it. In spite of how silly much of criticism is -- and you have to admit that there's a lot of useless cheer leading masquerading as criticism -- people can still make a living off it. It's awesome. It amazes me, really -- the same way I'm amazed when I get paid for a column. But even though one of my jobs is about the coolest thing I could ever hope to get paid for, I'm not about to start thinking that it has any significance in the grand scheme of things. We're living in an extremely prosperous time, and that allows many of us to get paid for stuff that no one would have dreamed of a couple of generations ago.
You can't seriously mean to argue that criticism exists independent of its target industries. I don't view critics as parasites (although some producers probably do); I used "symbiont" because constructive criticism is useful to target industries, as it shines light on the problems and praises what it gets right.
Am I really so wrong about this? How so?
Thursday, May 24, 2007
one more thing
Two days ago, and again today, I felt a very weird lumpiness in my throat. It's on the right side (of course), but not down near the thyroid bed, it's about 2 or 3 inches below my jawline. It wasn't there yesterday, but back again this morning.
Could have something to do with the exercises, but I wanted to make a note of it in case it doesn't go away. I do have a sore throat, too, but it looks like my usual post-nasal drip rather than anything strep-related. I'm finally off the antibiotic for that last sinus infection, and back on my iron, and I don't feel quite so exhausted the past few days. (Tomorrow, all best are off, since I'm up late doing this. Idiot!)
Could have something to do with the exercises, but I wanted to make a note of it in case it doesn't go away. I do have a sore throat, too, but it looks like my usual post-nasal drip rather than anything strep-related. I'm finally off the antibiotic for that last sinus infection, and back on my iron, and I don't feel quite so exhausted the past few days. (Tomorrow, all best are off, since I'm up late doing this. Idiot!)
struggles
There's nothing major going on, just a lot of minor, kind of irritating things that are keeping me not so much grounded as submerged.
It may sound like a good thing, but it's very, very bad to have skinny mirrors in your dressing area. I always forget that the mirrored doors in our bathroom are, indeed, skinny -- so it was quite a shock when I got a look at my backside's actual dimensions in the dressing room at Eddie Bauer last week. (No wonder those jeans didn't fit!) The tape measure at home confirmed it, my hips are now wider than they have ever been, other than when I was pregnant or recovering from delivery. Yikes!
Time to get serious and stop and eating so much carborific food (I'm looking at you, Trader Joe's Veggie and Flaxseed Chips) and get back into an exercise routine.
The first three days of doing lunges put me in a state where walking and sitting were about equally painful, but that's worn off now.
Interestingly, I found that exercising at night before bed does not interfere at all with my sleep; I think I fall asleep more easily since I've released any tensions. I also wake up more or less without pain, which is astonishing. This leads me to my latest rule for life: exercise is not optional. I'm sure I'll blow it off from time to time, and for longer stretches here and there, but for now I'm sold on the benefits.
Windows Vista has several annoying quirks. I'm still not used to all the software that came with this machine, and I miss the stuff we had on the XP machine that had simple, clear interfaces. The new Vista HP PhotoSmart is horribly non-intuitive -- why do I have to put a check mark under the photos I want to edit? Isn't that ridiculously clunky? Why can't I just click on the Edit tab and have it edit the photo that is currently highlighted? Who designed this hideously unfriendly interface? Can I slap them? Oh -- is there no unzip utility for Vista? Because Vista is entirely ignorant of files with the ".zip" extension, and that's inexcusable as far as I'm concerned.
There's just too much new. In addition to the new Vista computers, there's my new camera, which takes forever to store photos -- seriously, about 4 seconds, which is way too long. Is it the memory card, which is supposed to be high speed but is some brand I never heard of? I have no idea. I need to check the settings. But it's really annoying.
Then there's the new all-in-one printer/scanner/fax, which doesn't communicate properly with Vista even though they are all HP machines. I've had to re-install the software twice, and I've had to "add a printer" from the Network page about a dozen times. I'm sorry, but WTF? Jeez. At least the people on the online chat at HP Service are knowledgeable and have been able to get everything working again... so far.
Remember I had to port my website a few weeks ago? Well, now I have new website management software which reports everything in a completely different format than the old software. It's way better, of course, but it doesn't seem to have the one report that let me figure out what images of mine had been hijacked into discussion forums. I'll figure it out... eventually.
Even freakin' SiteMeter went and upgraded over this same time period!
School is rapidly drawing to a close. My in-laws are arriving the day after school lets out for another of their whirlwind visits, this time made even more crazy by the fact that DH and my FIL will be attending all three Diamondbacks-Red Sox games over the weekend. Whee! A few days after they leave, we leave for the summer.
I'm not ready for any of it, and a bigger part of me than usual is actually dreading going. DH will be back home here for nearly a month! That's too long for us to be apart. I'm worried about my mom and what the situation will be at her house, with us, plus my sister-in-law and her children, and the random nephew or two. I'm sure it will be fine when we get there, but there are too many things squeezing me right now for me to look forward to the trip with nothing but pleasurable anticipation.
Sorry for the extended lament -- it's all small potatoes, and I know that. We just have to get through the next couple of weeks, and then I can exhale.
It may sound like a good thing, but it's very, very bad to have skinny mirrors in your dressing area. I always forget that the mirrored doors in our bathroom are, indeed, skinny -- so it was quite a shock when I got a look at my backside's actual dimensions in the dressing room at Eddie Bauer last week. (No wonder those jeans didn't fit!) The tape measure at home confirmed it, my hips are now wider than they have ever been, other than when I was pregnant or recovering from delivery. Yikes!
Time to get serious and stop and eating so much carborific food (I'm looking at you, Trader Joe's Veggie and Flaxseed Chips) and get back into an exercise routine.
The first three days of doing lunges put me in a state where walking and sitting were about equally painful, but that's worn off now.
Interestingly, I found that exercising at night before bed does not interfere at all with my sleep; I think I fall asleep more easily since I've released any tensions. I also wake up more or less without pain, which is astonishing. This leads me to my latest rule for life: exercise is not optional. I'm sure I'll blow it off from time to time, and for longer stretches here and there, but for now I'm sold on the benefits.
Windows Vista has several annoying quirks. I'm still not used to all the software that came with this machine, and I miss the stuff we had on the XP machine that had simple, clear interfaces. The new Vista HP PhotoSmart is horribly non-intuitive -- why do I have to put a check mark under the photos I want to edit? Isn't that ridiculously clunky? Why can't I just click on the Edit tab and have it edit the photo that is currently highlighted? Who designed this hideously unfriendly interface? Can I slap them? Oh -- is there no unzip utility for Vista? Because Vista is entirely ignorant of files with the ".zip" extension, and that's inexcusable as far as I'm concerned.
There's just too much new. In addition to the new Vista computers, there's my new camera, which takes forever to store photos -- seriously, about 4 seconds, which is way too long. Is it the memory card, which is supposed to be high speed but is some brand I never heard of? I have no idea. I need to check the settings. But it's really annoying.
Then there's the new all-in-one printer/scanner/fax, which doesn't communicate properly with Vista even though they are all HP machines. I've had to re-install the software twice, and I've had to "add a printer" from the Network page about a dozen times. I'm sorry, but WTF? Jeez. At least the people on the online chat at HP Service are knowledgeable and have been able to get everything working again... so far.
Remember I had to port my website a few weeks ago? Well, now I have new website management software which reports everything in a completely different format than the old software. It's way better, of course, but it doesn't seem to have the one report that let me figure out what images of mine had been hijacked into discussion forums. I'll figure it out... eventually.
Even freakin' SiteMeter went and upgraded over this same time period!
School is rapidly drawing to a close. My in-laws are arriving the day after school lets out for another of their whirlwind visits, this time made even more crazy by the fact that DH and my FIL will be attending all three Diamondbacks-Red Sox games over the weekend. Whee! A few days after they leave, we leave for the summer.
I'm not ready for any of it, and a bigger part of me than usual is actually dreading going. DH will be back home here for nearly a month! That's too long for us to be apart. I'm worried about my mom and what the situation will be at her house, with us, plus my sister-in-law and her children, and the random nephew or two. I'm sure it will be fine when we get there, but there are too many things squeezing me right now for me to look forward to the trip with nothing but pleasurable anticipation.
Sorry for the extended lament -- it's all small potatoes, and I know that. We just have to get through the next couple of weeks, and then I can exhale.
Friday, May 18, 2007
last summer
Definitive news came yesterday that, starting with the 2008-2009 academic year, our school is moving to a modified year-round schedule. We'll be 9 weeks on, 2 weeks off, with school starting in July. That gives 2 week breaks in October, December/January, and March. Summer will be 4-5 weeks, mostly June.
sigh
I knew they'd come to an end someday, my deliciously long New England summers. We'll have to make the most of this one.
sigh
I knew they'd come to an end someday, my deliciously long New England summers. We'll have to make the most of this one.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
top 10 things full-time teachers should tell their substitutes
I had another one of those days subbing today, and it completely took me by surprise. The teacher I worked for is one that had one of my own kids in recent years, so I thought I was familiar with her classroom style; I wasn't expecting any great difficulties.
What I failed to consider is that the teacher's style is only part of the equation, and that the make-up of the class is another, equally important part. The culture of the class won't just be determined by the teacher, because let's face it, no one has that much control. A lot of it depends on the kids, their capabilities, and their personalities. My biggest problem today was expecting this class to be like my kid's class, and it wasn't.
I ran into a multitude of small issues today, along with one issue -- actually, one child -- that was a constant source of disruption and (I'll admit it) irritation. So here's my list of the top 10 things that full-time teachers should tell their subs, to help avoid the problems I had today. (I didn't include lesson plans; this is the stuff besides lesson plans that subs need to know.)
10) The full names of the teachers and aides that the sub will be interacting with, along with the room numbers where you can expect to find them. Abbreviations don't cut it with subs that are not familiar with all the staff at the school. We have a pretty small school, relatively, but there are still some teachers' and aides' names I don't know. Today, since I don't know who the aide was, I couldn't ask about her whereabouts when she wasn't there to get the kids out to morning recess. So I had to take them out, which was OK but still left me wondering what was up with her.
9) A list of permissable activities for the kids to do when/if they've finished all their work. A recent in-class project involved curling ribbon, and I guess some kids hadn't finished, and so were working on it today. But at least a third of the class was cutting off lengths of curling ribbon at various times, completely independent of any activity. I put the curling ribbon away at least twice, and told the class at least twice "No more curling ribbon today," but apparently the lure of the curling ribbon was impossible to resist.
8) A list of activities the kids should not be doing when/if they've finished all their work. I let some kids use the computer workstations today, and many of them logged in to EdHeads to do virtual knee reconstruction surgery. About 10 minutes later I heard more than one (non-computer-using) kid declare, "We're not supposed to go on EdHeads!" (Of course that was after I'd tried to get them onto Frog Guts, and failed -- the computers are too slow and too old to handle all the Flash graphics.) I have no idea whether or not there was a ban on EdHeads, but I couldn't see the harm in it.
7) Details on whether or not work is to be turned in, and if so, where. Over the course of the day, we completed a number of assignments. For some, I had directions: turn in. For others, nothing at all, so I assumed the kids should hang onto them. Also include with the lesson plan instructions for whether or not to correct any work before handing it in -- some classes have the kids swap their worksheets with a partner, and then correct them; this saves the teacher a great deal of time down the line, I understand -- but I do need to know if that's something you want me to do.
6) Details on whether a lesson needs to be taught to the whole class, can be tackled by small groups on their own, or whether some subset of the class should be broken out to cover a topic that a lot of kids get on their own. In my experience, given a math assignment, the class, if given a choice, will never choose instruction, preferring to guess on every single answer rather than sitting through instructions. If you ask the class, "Have you studied probabilities before?" Some significant fraction of the class will say "yes" while the rest insist "no," and as a sub, it's nearly impossible to tell one way or another. So "Math journal, pages x and y," is a good start but needs more information, like "They can work on this in small groups," or "They need instruction on these topics before tackling the worksheets."
5) Class rules for seat-changing or special locations. Most classrooms have special places, usually comfy places for reading, that students get to use certain times. Several classrooms I've worked in let one or two, possibly three groups work out in the hall. Rarely, if ever, do teachers let me know what the rules are regarding these special places, which results in ugly competition among the kids to score a good spot for whatever it is they're doing. So, if the rule is "you get to work in the hall once a day," I need to know that. And I also need to know when to open the in-class comfy places, if at all; just tell me the rules so I can enforce them uniformly and keep the kids on-task. Today I had to chase my problem kid out of the rocking chair three times. I had no argument from authority because I didn't know what the rule was.
4) A brief run-down on classroom incentives and disciplinary measures. Some incentives I've seen are "table points" and extra recess minutes, but disciplinary measures have a lot more variety and are often very difficult for a sub to apply. The teacher I subbed for today has a good system when kids go astray; she makes them clean up the schoolyard during recess. But I forgot about that while dealing with my one problem kid, and so ended up imposing my default consequence -- sitting out recess -- instead. But this teacher also has an incentive plan which she mentioned to me, very briefly -- so briefly I didn't know how to use it! How many points would I give to a table, and how often? Maybe the class would've responded to the positive incentive of table points, rather than to the negative incentive of losing recess? It's hard for me to believe at this point that they would've responded to any incentive for very long.
3) Seating charts are a godsend.
2) If any children leave the classroom for special instruction, please tell me who they are, when and for how long they are gone, and where they are going. Do I need to escort them wherever, or just send them? Do I need to pick them up?
1) Absolutely, the most important: if there are any children with learning disabilities or behavioral issues in the classroom, please let me know so I don't have to waste time trying to figure them out. When a child is acting out in class, I need to assess immediately what's happening so I can deal with it. If the acting out is temperamental rather than manipulative, that's going to make a big difference in how I handle it. Also, give a moment's thought to the class dynamic. If you know about any testy relationships that are likely to heat up without policing, please let me know.
My biggest mistake today was getting entangled in the problem kid's arguments against everything. (Seriously, everything -- when DS1 said, at the end of the day, "I've played kickball with you," this kid immediately said, "Nuh-uh, I've never played tetherball with you," which is of course not what DS1 said -- but this kid goes into argument mode automatically.) I like to think that, if I'd had a head's up, I would've known better than to get drawn in the way I was.
On top of that issue, there were a few others, like kids using crude humor or just being obnoxious to each other. These were for the most part harmless if disruptive, but once or twice they threatened to mushroom into something more serious. As a sub it's hard to know when a tiff is going to explode into something much larger, so any advice on danger signs is very, very useful.
What I failed to consider is that the teacher's style is only part of the equation, and that the make-up of the class is another, equally important part. The culture of the class won't just be determined by the teacher, because let's face it, no one has that much control. A lot of it depends on the kids, their capabilities, and their personalities. My biggest problem today was expecting this class to be like my kid's class, and it wasn't.
I ran into a multitude of small issues today, along with one issue -- actually, one child -- that was a constant source of disruption and (I'll admit it) irritation. So here's my list of the top 10 things that full-time teachers should tell their subs, to help avoid the problems I had today. (I didn't include lesson plans; this is the stuff besides lesson plans that subs need to know.)
10) The full names of the teachers and aides that the sub will be interacting with, along with the room numbers where you can expect to find them. Abbreviations don't cut it with subs that are not familiar with all the staff at the school. We have a pretty small school, relatively, but there are still some teachers' and aides' names I don't know. Today, since I don't know who the aide was, I couldn't ask about her whereabouts when she wasn't there to get the kids out to morning recess. So I had to take them out, which was OK but still left me wondering what was up with her.
9) A list of permissable activities for the kids to do when/if they've finished all their work. A recent in-class project involved curling ribbon, and I guess some kids hadn't finished, and so were working on it today. But at least a third of the class was cutting off lengths of curling ribbon at various times, completely independent of any activity. I put the curling ribbon away at least twice, and told the class at least twice "No more curling ribbon today," but apparently the lure of the curling ribbon was impossible to resist.
8) A list of activities the kids should not be doing when/if they've finished all their work. I let some kids use the computer workstations today, and many of them logged in to EdHeads to do virtual knee reconstruction surgery. About 10 minutes later I heard more than one (non-computer-using) kid declare, "We're not supposed to go on EdHeads!" (Of course that was after I'd tried to get them onto Frog Guts, and failed -- the computers are too slow and too old to handle all the Flash graphics.) I have no idea whether or not there was a ban on EdHeads, but I couldn't see the harm in it.
7) Details on whether or not work is to be turned in, and if so, where. Over the course of the day, we completed a number of assignments. For some, I had directions: turn in. For others, nothing at all, so I assumed the kids should hang onto them. Also include with the lesson plan instructions for whether or not to correct any work before handing it in -- some classes have the kids swap their worksheets with a partner, and then correct them; this saves the teacher a great deal of time down the line, I understand -- but I do need to know if that's something you want me to do.
6) Details on whether a lesson needs to be taught to the whole class, can be tackled by small groups on their own, or whether some subset of the class should be broken out to cover a topic that a lot of kids get on their own. In my experience, given a math assignment, the class, if given a choice, will never choose instruction, preferring to guess on every single answer rather than sitting through instructions. If you ask the class, "Have you studied probabilities before?" Some significant fraction of the class will say "yes" while the rest insist "no," and as a sub, it's nearly impossible to tell one way or another. So "Math journal, pages x and y," is a good start but needs more information, like "They can work on this in small groups," or "They need instruction on these topics before tackling the worksheets."
5) Class rules for seat-changing or special locations. Most classrooms have special places, usually comfy places for reading, that students get to use certain times. Several classrooms I've worked in let one or two, possibly three groups work out in the hall. Rarely, if ever, do teachers let me know what the rules are regarding these special places, which results in ugly competition among the kids to score a good spot for whatever it is they're doing. So, if the rule is "you get to work in the hall once a day," I need to know that. And I also need to know when to open the in-class comfy places, if at all; just tell me the rules so I can enforce them uniformly and keep the kids on-task. Today I had to chase my problem kid out of the rocking chair three times. I had no argument from authority because I didn't know what the rule was.
4) A brief run-down on classroom incentives and disciplinary measures. Some incentives I've seen are "table points" and extra recess minutes, but disciplinary measures have a lot more variety and are often very difficult for a sub to apply. The teacher I subbed for today has a good system when kids go astray; she makes them clean up the schoolyard during recess. But I forgot about that while dealing with my one problem kid, and so ended up imposing my default consequence -- sitting out recess -- instead. But this teacher also has an incentive plan which she mentioned to me, very briefly -- so briefly I didn't know how to use it! How many points would I give to a table, and how often? Maybe the class would've responded to the positive incentive of table points, rather than to the negative incentive of losing recess? It's hard for me to believe at this point that they would've responded to any incentive for very long.
3) Seating charts are a godsend.
2) If any children leave the classroom for special instruction, please tell me who they are, when and for how long they are gone, and where they are going. Do I need to escort them wherever, or just send them? Do I need to pick them up?
1) Absolutely, the most important: if there are any children with learning disabilities or behavioral issues in the classroom, please let me know so I don't have to waste time trying to figure them out. When a child is acting out in class, I need to assess immediately what's happening so I can deal with it. If the acting out is temperamental rather than manipulative, that's going to make a big difference in how I handle it. Also, give a moment's thought to the class dynamic. If you know about any testy relationships that are likely to heat up without policing, please let me know.
My biggest mistake today was getting entangled in the problem kid's arguments against everything. (Seriously, everything -- when DS1 said, at the end of the day, "I've played kickball with you," this kid immediately said, "Nuh-uh, I've never played tetherball with you," which is of course not what DS1 said -- but this kid goes into argument mode automatically.) I like to think that, if I'd had a head's up, I would've known better than to get drawn in the way I was.
On top of that issue, there were a few others, like kids using crude humor or just being obnoxious to each other. These were for the most part harmless if disruptive, but once or twice they threatened to mushroom into something more serious. As a sub it's hard to know when a tiff is going to explode into something much larger, so any advice on danger signs is very, very useful.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)