Saturday, October 29, 2005

in the now, nearly normal

I planned my day like this: housework, lunch, nap, shower, church, dinner, whatever.

And that's exactly how it went. The morning was very busy but DD (!!!) was an amazing little helper, and between the two of us we did what I would usually do on a typical Friday cleaning day frenzy. She dusted and ran the stick vaccuum, and helped clean the bathrooms and change bed linens, and helped bake the cake, too.

The nap was good. The shower was better. Funny how a shower can be scary, not knowing what's going to hurt, and worrying about incisions and whatnot. Exhausting on multiple levels, too. I hate that. Just being nervous is exhausting. Having (new) chronic pain is exhausting, too. The old ones, I'm used to those and they don't wear me out so much.

My neck feels like it's being squeezed sometimes, other times it feels as if it's paralyzed. Most of the time swallowing is easy, but every so often something mis-fires and it just doesn't work properly. My head/neck mobility is better without the drain, but there are all sorts of new ouches to contend with. Somehow I hadn't thought about that. Oh, and more of my ear has normal sensation, but my right neck and the side of my head behind my ear are still totally numb, unless they're all tingly and oww-ie.

Sorry to whine. I don't really feel whiny. I actually feel pretty OK, I have just a bit of a headache from muscle tension. I'm coming up on time for meds so that will dissipate soon...

I sang a little bit in church, not too much because my voice gets tired and sometimes plain just spazzes out. The woman sitting next to me made a point of telling me, You have a lovely voice, before she left our pew at the end of Mass. That was really nice.

1 comment:

Mamasita said...

Joan, if anyone has a right "to be a little whiney" it should be you right now. I'm amazed at all you've done right after the surgery. I'm going to give advice that I usually don't take and say REST! Your daughter sounds like a dreamboat. I'm glad she helped out. It may make her feel better about you being sick that she can help out around the house. It's something solid she can do and she can see the very obvious results.

I hope you have a restful weekend and that you recover fully very quickly. Your experience, even though it is much more severe in length of time and procedures, brings up a lot of memories in me. It's like you're saying everything I thought.