Wednesday, October 12, 2005

by the way

To everyone out there that's praying for me, pulling for me, sending good karma my way or just rolling your eyes at me because you know I'm crazy but I'll really be OK: Thank You.

A couple of people in my yoga class know about my upcoming trek, and all my kids' teachers, too. The administrator in the Church office knows, as do the folks in the office at my kids' elementary. Without exception, everyone wishes me well. Nearly everyone says, "I'm praying for you," and not a few say, "I pray for you every day."

It's really overwhelming. It's impossible to say how much I appreciate it. I know there are people who are skeptical about the power of prayer, but I am not one of them. Because even though I have been through an ubelievable amount of medical crap over the past four years, in all honesty I can say it could have been a LOT worse.

I've had 3 major surgeries but snappy recoveries from each. I've had a jillion skin biopsies, but not one came back requiring anything more serious than a little more cutting, and what's a slightly bigger scar in the grand scheme of things? It's nothing. I have rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia but I can still haul all 3 of my kids to DisneyLand and around DisneyLand and have a great time and not be bed-ridden for a week in recovery.

I have cancer but I still have all my hair, and my hair is awesome. I don't have a thyroid but I also don't have a weight problem, which is something of a minor miracle. Yeah, the cancer is still hanging around and being a pain in the neck (ha! I joke, but no.) But I am the most blessed woman in the world, because even though I have these "issues," I can still take care of my family, my husband and I love each other more than ever, and there's a whole future out there in which I know cancer will play a much reduced role.

I say my own prayers, of course, and thankfulness for what I have is always right near the top of the list. I also petition and rail and bargain. I have a rich and varied (some might say deranged) prayer life. What I ask for, for myself, is just this: to see the path that God has set for me, for the wisdom to recognize it for what it is, and for the strength to follow it. That about covers it for me -- for everyone else, I'm much more demanding. Since I have a whole amazing group of people who pray for me, I kinda think I'm covered.

So, thanks, everyone in the pulling-for-Joan pool. You're awesome.

I'm not going to bring the laptop but the hotel has free 'net access on their own PCs. I may have to camp out in the lobby at odd hours to get access to a machine, but I can deal with that. It's not like I'm going to have much else to do. If I knew there would be wireless access, I'd go ahead and bring the laptop -- but I don't know about it that, and I don't want to deal with dialup for a few-day trip if I have other options. It'll be OK! Really.


Sheik Yerbootie said...

Count me in the "rolling of eyes" category.

Good luck kid. :>)

nina said...

Okay, I am not the praying type so I cannot give you that. But I give you my heartfelt wishes, my most earnest warm thoughts and my offers to do anything to lighten your mood if you need that. You're my blogger pal and I am with you there in that great big state of texas. Best of luck, kid.