The rhythmic sloshing cycles of the dishwasher somehow
preserve the stillness of the house.
The others drift in sleep, even the cat
breathes evenly amidst the familiar white noise.
Only I remain, grasping
Or failing, rather --
What is this vague shadow, hovering
elusive in the corner of my mind's eye?
Indistinct, it looms, yet patiently.
This hour, shadows take form.
Through this bright day I sailed, skimming the breezes,
a child's hand in each of mine.
Something terrible is going to happen...
Something terrible always does happen, somewhere. So?
So, far from home,
a woman lingers, dying by court order,
hearsay hardened into law.
Many issues here perturb.
Love, law, life, all disturbed. Lost in all
the words, a woman starves, alone.
While in a file cabinet, unread
lie alphabet soup and my Tuesday numbers:
TSH, Tg, WBC, Ca
Therein, my future. The knife a certainty, temporary
reprieve, or... nothing at all.
It's just one test.
We really don't know.
For me, more tests will come, regardless.
None for Terri.
Two sides of the Coin: Heads, I don't know
Tails, It is certain.
Here are my two shadows, then:
For me, Heads;
the not-knowing gnaws away my calm resolve.
Tails for Terri.
Sorrow comes in a storm of anger,
regret, and disbelief at what is sure.
Time brings its resolutions.
The coin will be tossed again, and again.