Saturday, November 19, 2005

past tense

I'm getting used to the idea that I can now say this: I had cancer.

I'm astonished at how feelings of near-joyful relief keep washing over me when I don't expect them. I tried not to fret about the situation consciously too much, but it was always there, weighing on me, from the afternoon of September 2 when my endo first told me she wanted me to go Houston. Two solid months' worth of uncertainty and stress are slowly, slowly lifting, like fog evaporating in the morning sun. It's awesome to recognize a surprising feeling and have it be happiness.

It's going to be an excellent Thanksgiving.

2 comments:

Sheik Yerbootie said...

YAY!!!!

nina said...

It's a banal statement, but it is certainly the case that you would not have been as happy this holiday season were it not for your health scare and the anxiety that you experienced surrounding it. I'm not saying at all that it was worth it, but I am saying that now is the time to revel in the bliss of having it behind you and your family around you! You so deserve a wonderful holiday!