"Buy lottery tickets."

I got a Christmas card today from someone I used to know ("X"), someone I used to be very good friends with 25 years ago.

I didn't want to open it. DH kind of laughed at me and opened it and said, "It's harmless, what were you worried about?" But that's because he had only read the inside of the card, and not the densely packed script on the back. X has this long-standing habit of writing long, chatty letters giving me the 3rd degree on my life and asking my advice. X's life is spent lurching from one set of crises to another. About 15 years ago, I used to take great care and write long replies with updates on my own life, as well as careful advice about my concerns and how I thought things should be handled. Needless to say, X ignored everything and did whatever X wanted to do, with frequently disasterous results.

X is one of those people with a profound sense of entitlement. I could never understand it, or where it came from. I remember a conversation we had once. I asked, "What do you want from your life? What kind of lifestyle would you like to lead?" X's response included a big house, nice car, a boat, etc etc. My next question: "Well, what are you willing to do so you can achieve those goals?" X's reply? Buy lottery tickets. X also mentioned that marrying someone with a lot of money would be OK, too. X was never that interested in working. Somehow, it was the Universe's job to provide all these things.

That was the moment I realized I could not be friends with this person.

It's pretty obvious that DH and I have a very comfortable life. DH earns a great salary, and I spent many years working and earning a very good salary, myself. We are not uncharitable people, but our earnings, and our savings, will be spent on our own family and on charities we agree on. X, on the other hand, thinks that because I've "got money," and because we're "old friends," that I should be willing to spend some of it on X. Or maybe give X free room and board for a few weeks or months. Or maybe pay off some of X's debts.

I've been asked to do all of these things in the past, and it was only by exercising my backbone to the utmost that I got out of it after putting X up for two weeks -- two weeks in which my household was completely turned upside down. That was 20 years ago, and my life now is so different that I wouldn't consider even an overnight visit.

It is somewhat distressing to me that X has my address, but that's public knowledge so there's little to be done about it. It's not that I think I will be stalked, or threatened, or anything like that. My biggest fear is that X will one day show up on my doorstep and expect "hospitality."

Maybe I'm harsh, and maybe I'm a poor Christian. X had a rough childhood but over the last 20 or so years I'd say that any difficulties were mostly due to choices X has made. I can't fix X's life and I've long since given up trying. Why is it that X won't stop asking me to, anyway? I haven't written to or spoken to X in well over 10 years now, and I'm not about to change that. Eventually, X will get the message... I hope.

The card's in the trash. I never did read the whole thing, either.