squirt! [TMI! TMI!]

Wednesday, what the heck happened Wednesday? It was just yesterday, you'd think I could remember it, huh?

I know what the problem is. Every time I think about yesterday, I remember what the cat did, and every other thought just flees in terror.

A little background about the cat. If TMI bothers you, leave now, this is going to get gross.

My cat has a stress disorder, or possibly feline hyperthyroidism. It doesn't really matter what causes it, what matters is how the symptoms manifest. The cat cannot form a solid stool. That's about as delicate a phrasing as I could manage. That wasn't too bad, I think.

One of the side effects of this problem was that the cat often, well, couldn't make it to the litter box. Now, it's one thing having to clean up cat shit where it's not supposed to be. It's another thing entirely to clean up liquid cat shit where it's not supposed to be, and usually on a carpet somewhere. This is not a tolerable situation.

After much testing and discussion with the vet, we decided to just try and add more fiber to her diet. To do this, we give her a couple of tablespoons of plain pureed pumpkin, mixed with a little plain yogurt (the kind with active cultures). We first tried this about a year ago, with excellent results. Normal poops! In the box! All the time! I don't have to put the cat down because she shits all over the house!

It's so horrible seeing that written out like that, but it's true. It was such a relief when the pumpkin worked. It was a miracle.

So, last month sometime when I needed to buy more food for the cat, I went to Sam's Club and they didn't have it any more. It was just Purina One, some easy-to-digest formula, and DH thought he got the same kind at the supermarket. It must not have been, though. The cat quit eating her pumpkin because she liked the taste of the new food better. The squirts returned with a vengeance.

I left the gym bag with our beach stuff in it a corner in the hallway, and she started using it as a litter box. We didn't notice at first because it was at the end of the hall, and we don't often go down there -- DH actually caught her in the act, and was so horrified he could barely speak to tell me what the problem was: "Oh MY GOD!" he said, leaving me terrified, asking, "What? What?!! What??!!!" until he could articulate what was going on. Fortunately the only thing left in the bag was some suntan lotion, which we washed off, but the bag we just tossed, it was beyond salvaging.

After the gym bag incident we realized the new food was definitely not agreeing with her. DH got a different kind of food (still Purina One) but the problem persisted, and to make matters worse, the cat was still snubbing the pumpkin. On the days she ate it, the problem was definitely not as severe. Still no normal poops, but at least they were somewhat formed. Progress was being made.

Then, DH leaves on his business trip. The cat, you must understand, is my cat, but DH is her human. She believes I married him to take care of her. Every night when he gets into bed, she climbs up on his chest and lies there and purrs for 5 or 10 minutes. She totally owns him. And now he's gone.

Being a cat, she doesn't realize that he'll come back any day now (Saturday, to be specific). She's upset. And we're out of pumpkin.

DS1 comes down with a stomach virus, we can't go to the super market to buy more pumpkin. The cat's intestines are useless. She's leaving puddles of poop in her box, but at least they are in her box.

Tuesday morning, the first thing I hear is DS2: "Mom, the cat pooped on the floor." Not just the floor, the carpet. In the family room. Ewww.

Tuesday we go and buy pumpkin, since DS1 is better. The cat snarfs it down happily, since she hadn't had any in several days.

Wednesday, more pumpkin in the AM, but still gooey poops. Hmmm, it should be working better by now. What gives?

Wednesday -- ah, I remember, we did go out and do a boatload of errands, came home, I cooked a steak for our dinner, we hung out for a while. I put the kids to bed (skipped baths), then came back down to watch the TiVO'd debate. I'm just settling in, getting comfy on the couch when I hear it:

squirrrt!

You never, ever want to hear that sound when you are sitting in a room with wall-to-wall carpeting. I look to my left and there she is, back in the same spot she'd hit the day before. I couldn't help it. I yelled:

"No! Bad cat! Bad girl! No!"

She took off... before she was finished.

She left a trail of flourescent orange cat poop on the carpet.

Should've kept my fool mouth shut. My only hope now is that I've freaked her out enough about that space that she won't ever go there again.

She got double pumpkin today, but I know what's really bothering her is that DH is still not back. And on top of that, I'm cleaning out the guest room to be ready when Mom arrives Wednesday, and I'm also going through closets and stuff, pulling out clothes for the charity pickup on Saturday. She hates anything related to packing or moving, and with DH gone, it's just adding insult to injury.

At least she's eating her pumpkin again. I hope it works to firm things up at least a little bit. If she's going to leave orange shit on the carpet, is it too much to ask that it be solid?

I know she doesn't have any control over what comes out of her, but she sure as anything has control over where she puts it. When she was truly sick before, we'd find it everywhere. Now she's picking out "spots" and claiming them, and it's just disgusting. I'm not sure how much more of this DH is willing to put up with.


The next home improvement project? Ripping all the carpet out of the house and putting down hardwood. I can't wait. Screw the new countertop, and I can live with my washer and dryer until they die natural deaths -- this carpet has got to go!