-- You're irritating me...
--You are easily irritated.
Leaving aside (for a moment) the truthfulness of the statement, I can assure you that there are very few situations in which saying something like that will be perceived as kind or helpful.
Maybe I was over-sensitive this evening. But I recognized my own rising temper; by saying "You're irritating me," I was trying to issue a warning shot.
I could've said it better: "I'm getting irritated." It's always bad to start out with that accusatory "you."
However, if I warn someone that they're irritating me, and the immediate reply (didn't skip a beat) is that I am an easily irritated person -- well. That's just unacceptable. It places all the responsibility for my irritated state squarely back on me, which is absurd. I'll take some of the blame, but not all of it, especially since I was contented just prior to the exchange leading up to this.
Went for a longish drive under the huge full moon. Got an apology. Feel better, mostly.