oh no!

After a very long and mostly productive day, I turned on the oven to preheat while I mixed up the meatloaf.

Nothing happened.  Temperature did not change.  The broiler works fine.  The burners work fine. The oven has apparently stopped working.

Scheduled a repair during spring break and meanwhile am cooking the meatloaf in the big dutch oven.

Menu planning will be interesting, but how am I supposed to get by without my scones on the weekend?

today's exercise in frustration

I did not have my doctor's appointment today, and did not find out the results of my MRI.  My labs weren't back yet -- those labs that I took Friday morning off work for! -- and so the doctor wouldn't see me.

I'm rescheduled for next Monday, after school.  At least I won't have to take any more time off work for this nonsense.

it is what it is

Re-reading that last post, I see a number of typo's I'm not going to correct.  They accurately reflect my state at the time -- I think I fell asleep in the middle, woke up, finished it, and posted it before falling back to sleep.  A lot of days that's what things are like for me: falling asleep in the middle of some task just long enough so I can then wake up with enough energy to complete it before I can go to sleep for (whatever remains of) the rest of the night.

This week's overwhelming task was getting grades caught up for progress reports, up till 3:30. Of course the rest of the week was affected by that, but I made it through without anything horrible happening.  The highlight of most days was the bottle rocket launcher, even though we couldn't get the bottle to go very high.  We'll try again later.

I left school mid-morning to get a blood draw yesterday, because my endocrinologist had ordered it to be taken between 8 and 10AM, and when I went last Saturday, it was too close to 10 for them to do the draw in time.  I felt crushed, especially because I could have left earlier. I actually sat around reading emails for a while because I know how crowded the lab is early on Saturdays.  I didn't realize it was a timed order. My appointment with my endo is Monday, and I was thinking I would have to reschedule because I wouldn't be able to get the labs done in time, but I was very lucky in getting the appointment yesterday.  Of course I had to take time off work to do it, but it was actually good for me to be away for a little while.

I'm slightly upset in advance of the appointment, as usual.  I don't know if the change in my peripheral vision means anything or not.  The lab drew about eight tubes of blood from me yesterday -- I don't remember my endo ordering so many, or it being a timed test, before.  I hope I'll find out Monday what's going on, at least with the pituitary adenoma situation.  I hope the blood tests are back in time, too.  The staff at the lab last Saturday said they take 48 hours, but the staff yesterday said 2-5 days.  It's just another situation I have no control over.

Meanwhile, I still have way too much work to do and literally not enough time to do it.  This is a 3-day weekend and that will help tremendously.  I am constantly saying I need another day -- now I have it, I have to use it wisely!  I don't like this feeling of being oppressed by my work.  I chose it, and when I chose it, I thought it would be OK, but it has been more work than I anticipated.  Only 14 more weeks of school -- it's going to fly.

something's gotta give...

I have too much work to do!  And I haven't looked at, or thought about, my thesis in weeks.  I need to get something to my adviser before Monday.  Thursday was supposed to be my writing day, but I didn't get to thesis work.  Instead, I finished up the child study team paperwork for two students, and then wrote up the 3 math lessons I'm giving tomorrow, and then revised a power point presentation for 7th grade science.  t

Yesterday I plowed through about half my stack of grading, but that was because my students had math tests yesterday and needed their previous tests back.  So now I literally have a test (or quiz, or sometimes both) to grade in five of my six classes.  I know what I'm doing this weekend.

I keep thinking I got behind because of the science fair, and then the CST paper work, and then having to do bulletin boards (it's February!)  Thinking about how many hours I spent on those tasks (too many), perhaps I really will be OK.  Now I'm really regretting not doing more work over Christmas break, but I was so exhausted the thought of it left me cold.  I'm paying now!

At least planning is done for my 3 math classes, and I could conceivably finish planning out my science classes this weekend if I ever get through the grading.  I have this sense that every year I say this same thing -- I can't believe how busy I am.  Perhaps I have been just as busy before, and I jthikust don't remember it because it doesn't feel the same?  I never had to prep more than two classes before and now I've got six.  (I laugh.)

I've already signed my contract for next year, and my principal was very complimentary when we met about it.  I like to think I'm doing a good job, but I don't feel I have an accurate sense of that right now.  My students grades are abysmal, and I just found out yesterday that one of my 8th graders has been treating his math homework as a creative writing assignment and I've been giving him credit for it (it's a completion grade, and it looked reasonable...).  That took the wind out of my sails a bit, but I have to remind myself that it's not about me. It never is!  No reson to take it personally.

To end on an up note, I'm having a blast integrating the classroom computers into my lessons, and the students love them.  It's going far better than I anticipated, especially since I'm more or less making it up as I go along.  Come to think of it, that's another unscheduled thing I've been spending time on, putting me even further behind with my own stuff even while moving ahead in the classroom.

If I could just figure out how to balance all this... it's only 4 more months, and spring break and standardized testing are in there, so it's really only about 3.  With the amount of sleep I'm not getting, I wonder how long I can go without coming down with a significant illness... and there's the specter of surgery, too.  It's weird how my left peripheral vision is decreased -- I notice it because on the right, the entire rim of reading glasses is in my peripheral vision, but on the left, it's not.  Not a scientific test, I know, but it's consistent.  And annoying, because I really don't want to have brain surgery.

Anxiety always keeps me up till the wee hours.  At least these days I'm working while I'm at it.

A first.

I had my pituitary MRI this evening... and slept through most of it.  Now I'll do my best to forget about it until I get the results.

DH was called unexpectedly to the ground control center in Virginia and will be there through next week, consequently everything feels weird.  We are, of course, OK, but not exactly happy about this state of affairs.

"not a train wreck"

First-ever science fair at the new school; see post title.

I'm glad the event is over. It will take a while to catch up with all the grading and everything else that has been piling up, but eventually it will all sort itself all out.

So very glad that's over!

(not) funny

I took one of those online quiz things to see what percent OCD I am.  No surprise (to me)... 100%.

In my every day life, I don't obsess over things to the point where I become non-functional, but I've noticed just lately I do act compulsively about a few things: my lesson materials, and my daily online reading.  While engaged with those activities, I've definitely sensed "I should stop," but then kept going.  Even to the point where I'm up till 3AM, like yesterday, typing up the lab for my new Integrated Science class.

That was a bit crazy.  The only reason I'm still up now is I've had a couple of little naps here and there this evening, but I'm taking myself off to bed soon.  As soon as I finish this?  No, of course not, there are a few more websites I want to check...

I've never really thought of myself as OCD, just a control freak, and those are not the same thing, I think -- but I do think there's a very small something there.  Just something to think about.

Also: Last night when I was driving home from physical therapy, I could really tell that the peripheral vision in my left eye is not as good as in my right.  It may have been a circumstantial event, but I noticed it.  Orders for an MRI should be coming around within the next month, but I'm thinking about asking to move that up.

(self?) sabotage

I had a vision field test this morning.  This is a test that checks your peripheral vision.  I scheduled it 6 months ago.  At the time, I was blissfully unaware of how slammed I would be over this vacation.  I probably thought I would be all done with any work I had to do, therefore it was OK to make this appointment for the first thing in the morning.

The problem, of course, is I'm not at all close to being ready for school on Monday, and they never do just the visual field test.  They do a dilated eye exam and actually look at the optic nerve, too.  So: eyes dilated at about 8:30AM, finally able to read comfortably?  2:30PM, on a day I had specifically designated as my stay-home-and-write day.  Oops.

I did a lot of running-around type errands (4 dropping off, 1 picking up) because I could see well enough to drive -- it's always the close vision that suffers with the dilation.  DH met DS1 and I for a nice lunch, and then I brought DS1 up to campus so he could check in to his building (the key cards have to be reactivated each semester.)  Home for just a bit before having to pick up the two younger kids from school, and then home again.

Exhausted!  Did some reading.  Answered an email using this process:  honestly answer every question and provide all relevant information; walk away for 10 minutes; come back and ruthlessly edit so the reply is only a third of its original size and contains no potentially surprising or upsetting statements.

I'm trying to focus my attention on the must-do's since I can't possibly accomplish everything I put on my school to-do list.  I should just make a new list. Yesterday I productively avoided both the lesson plans and the lesson materials by creating my bulletin boards. Today I've run out of other, more fun, productive tasks. *sigh*

Oh, right, the test: A "slight change" in the left eye, but the doctor is not worried about it.  He literally said those words, but then asked about whether I was being followed with imaging scans, specifically an MRI.  I told him I was due for an MRI, and he was happy about that.  (I'm not.)  So another thing I accomplished was calling my endo to find out what's going on with that, and it turns out it won't get scheduled until sometime in February, so I have that delightful experience coming up.  I'm glad I'm doing it, because it will either confirm or refute the eye doctor's opinion pretty definitively.   I emphatically don't want to have sort-of-brain surgery, but I would also like to not have to go through this routine every six months.  Actually, in spite of the "slight change", the eye doctor is graduating me to only once a year with the vision field test, we'll do that in June, and then in the winter do the rest of the exam -- assuming everything stays the same.

Fortunately my vision is holding steady at only slightly impaired, and my lowest-power cheaters are totally up to the task of making small text readable for me.  I so appreciate not having to wear glasses, most of the time!

flipped

Spent all day today mostly spinning my wheels with not much to show for it. Suddenly, around 11PM, I finally feel as if I can focus and I get some things done.  This will never do, though -- I can't stay on this flipped schedule!  High hopes for tomorrow.

little things

Someone asked me what I got for Christmas, and I basically shrugged the question off -- Oh, you know, I have so much stuff!  DH has planned a get-away night for us...

Of course that's true.  What's also true is that when I shopped for everyone else, I picked up things here and there for myself, taking advantage of the end-of-year sales.  All in all, though, my stack of Christmas stuff is small but delightful, and the things I'm enjoying the most were a couple of "house" buys! Not presents, just a couple of things we picked up in the past month or so:

Instant Pot!

DH got us a pressure cooker.  I really want to end that sentence with several exclamation points: !!!!

I have the impression not too many people use these things, and I had literally zero experience with a pressure cooker before last month, but this thing is awesome if you like slow-cooked foods and don't want to wait hours for the slow-cooking to happen.  I can make Greek chicken (stewed with cinnamon, onion, and tomato paste) in about an hour, and it tastes as if it had been simmering for three. So far I have used it to make chicken and beef dishes, and also, just yesterday, chili.  It is totally awesome to be able to cook food that we really love and have it ready at a semi-reasonable time for dinner.  By the time we get home most week days, it's nearly 5PM, but I can still make basically anything I want, now.  It also helps tremendously that it's electric, so it doesn't heat up the whole house the way using the oven does.  (This particular model also slow cooks, makes yogurt, can be a rice cooker, and also, wonderfully, has a saute setting, so I can brown the meat, deglaze the pot, then put everything back in to cook.  Less cleanup = extra awesomeness.)

The other innovation? 

KitchenAid Dish Rack

This seems kind of dumb, perhaps, but we've always had one of the small Rubbermaid dish racks because there isn't that much space next to the sink. I never considered a larger one, even though the small one was constantly a problem.  I saw this dish rack at Sam's Club last month for $20 and stopped to look at it.  DD was with me and encouraged me to buy it.  I didn't think it would fit, but it does, and having more space there is such a small thing, but with all the cooking (and eating) we do, it really is lovely.  I mean, I was always having to precariously balance the baking sheets and the platters and the various glasses that were hand-washed... and now I don't.  Everything fits, nothing falls out or falls over or gets broken!  

So, my two favorite new things were not Christmas presents, and that's fine with me. It's funny to me how these two little things make me so happy.

One more thing was a Christmas present, from my "secret Santa" at work: a miniature herb garden! We have all the rosemary we need outside, but the addition of fresh thyme and sage are wonderful!  Now I just have to make sure the cats don't eat it. 

feelin' feline

Yes, I am feeling very cat-like these days.  I sleep late, get up, putter around a bit, eat something... then nap.  For hours -- and then I get up and do the same thing.  I think I've been averaging about 16 hours of sleep a day since Christmas.

The thing is, with that much sleep, I should be feeling great, but every time I wake up I have this vague, getting-over-an-illness feeling.  It's probably correct, but I wasn't really sick, just chronically exhausted.

Anyway, I have to start putting some time in to work or I'll find myself right back on the hamster wheel.  Little things are getting done around the house, so it hasn't been a complete festival of laziness, and we went to see Rogue One (yay!) and a Coyotes game (sigh).  We celebrated our 22nd anniversary (!) by going out for dinner with the kids, and it was lovely.  So, it has been a really nice, vacation-y vacation, so far.  Nine days to go, though, and I better have something to show for it!

a tiny list of accomplishments

Saturday, Christmas Eve: slept late, gloriously, and then spent the day mostly cleaning up and prepping dinner.  I got the presents sorted and DH handled getting everything wrapped, God bless the man.  We went to the 7PM Latin mass which didn't start until 7:15 because the 5:30 Spanish mass was concelebrated by the bishop and was absolutely packed to the rafters.  The Latin mass was not, and the music was spectacular, and I loved it.  We ate dinner after (only slightly later than usual, lol) and watched a Mission Impossible movie and it was fine.

Christmas Day: kids were up about 8AM, the earliest we'd seen them (voluntarily) in a week.  Opened presents first, not such a big deal anymore! Then I made scones and scrambled eggs (the boys made the bacon) and it was lovely.  Lunch was just salamis and cheeses and olives and pickles and the most delicious artichoke hearts, and a glass or two of DH's Christmas scotch-on-the-rocks, which was really delicious. Dinner?  I researched prime rib recipes for far too long but to good end, I think: I used the herb butter recipe that DD had recommended but not that cooking method, and it came out spectacular.  It turns out that poaching enormous lobster tails in butter really only works for the main part. I should have trimmed off all those little weird pieces around the edges because they just turned to rubber.  Still, it was yummy and yes, basically all I did was cook and eat. And talk on the phone -- both days, to various family members around the country, and that was lovely even though I miss everyone fiercely on these days. I see the photos from the big gatherings and remember what they're like -- wonderful and crazy -- and I wonder if there will come a year when we will make the effort to travel back East.  It could happen.

Today? My official day off -- I have too much to do to not-work the rest of the days I'm off school.  But today, my accomplishments include sleeping late (again), emptying the dishwasher, and applying for my transfer credit for my Project Dragonfly class, which involved jumping through several hoops.  I solved another puzzle in WordBrain (Clown level is killing me) and I read the entire internet.  Twice.

Tomorrow (later today, actually); DD has a quick appointment for a sleep study, and then trying to get into some sort of routine where some work gets done.  We'll see. Other plans for this week? Seeing Rogue One with the family on Wednesday morning, and going overnight with DH for a hockey game up in Glendale.  I'm starting to panic a little that I don't have enough time to do everything I'd like to do before I go back, even though I have all of next week off, too - and the kids don't!  First thing to do is make my lists...

new goal

I'm writing about this as a way to hold myself accountable.

I am often confronted with unwanted student opinions about assignments, directions, rules, or what-have-you.  Typically, my response has been along the lines of, "I don't care if [you don't like it], this is what we're doing."

While factually correct, it's a pretty cold response, and I've always known it's not particularly effective.  It may redirect the student's behavior, but it doesn't do anything to redirect the student's attitude, and that's arguably more important.

I'm so pleased to have finally identified an alternative response that does just that:  "That's not what's important right now," or some variation on that theme.  This response does not invalidate the student's feelings, and even gives me space to acknowledge them: "I know you don't particularly feel like doing this right now, but that's not what's important..."

I've actually remembered to use it two or three times over the past couple of days.  I'm expecting more deployment in the future, especially as break time draws near.  And so far, the students are responding more positively, too.  I'm allowing myself to feel a tiny bit proud of this one.

pre-lief?

I packed & shipped our Christmas boxes yesterday, so today, I felt much less pressured, almost buoyant...  which was a mistake, because I'm not done yet!

Well, I did grind through my literature review and make a round of edits before the end of the semester,  and it didn't even require a complete all-nighter. The number of times I've found myself running on 2 or 3 hours of sleep is just way too high this year.  Last night I got 5 hours -- perhaps that explains how good I felt today.

Anyway: I do have some grading to do, but it's not due until January.  I just have this sense that things will take care of themselves, which may or may not be accurate.  I have mental lists of things to accomplish but I can't seem to settle down and get them all crossed off.  I think I need to make an actual physical list for them to start happening...

Christmas in 4 days (3 now, actually...)!!!  Really, really looking forward to vacation.

10:48, now

The clock caught my eye at 10:47(pm).

I have to write up math notes for (at least) 2 lessons, put together a science power point, and design a bulletin board for math.  And it's nearly 11PM.  How did that happen?

Well: I stayed at work until about 4:15, mostly in a meeting and then in meeting post-mortem and organizing.  Then I picked up the kids, got home, and went out to my physical therapy session.  Then I came home and unwound for about 20 minutes and then took the kids to their piano lessons.  On the way home, we stopped and got Chik-fil-A, and we had a nice dinner together talking about different bands.  Then DD and, to a much lesser extent, I helped DS2 with his math homework, just  a little. By then it was after 9 and I settled down to work, but didn't.

You know how it is when you get on the computer.  Anyway, I checked my work email and there was a message from a parent that required crafting a very careful response, which took me forever.  And now I'm procrastinating even more by writing this blog post. (Ha!)

I did finish my paper for my "zoo class," as I call it in real life. It's good that's over, but know I have to put together the display board and think about my presentation for Saturday.  I am so looking forward to being done with that class!

Off to work now, finally, very grateful I have already done the algebra notes for the rest of this week!

closing in

About 5 minutes ago, I uploaded my final draft of the research paper for my last content course.  Our last course meeting is this upcoming Saturday, and all I have to do now to prepare is make a poster board so I can present my research.  Yes, I am doing a science fair project!  I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this class, and it was fine.

Except the APA formatting, which makes me want to rip my hair out.  It's just so fussy. I admit, in the early days, it seemed completely arbitrary and non-intuitive, but I've been working with it for a few years now and it really isn't as arbitrary as I thought it was.  It's actually pretty consistent, and there's something nice about that.  I wish my students used it, but we are inexplicably using MLA format at school.  Still, reformatting my tables and putting appropriate captions on all my graphs (not to mention taking the titles off the graphs, they are including in the caption, so you don't put a title on the graph itself!) was tedious.  Glad it's over.

School is OK, too.  I have a huge stack of grades to put in, but I will whittle them down during the day tomorrow.  I brought them all home with me today, hoping I would get to them, but I decided to finish the paper first.  It wasn't due until Thursday but there was no point in putting it off, and now I have the sense of having a bit of a breather.  *whew*

End-of-term is rushing up to meet us.  I can't wait to be free of this feeling that I have 6 things pending at any given time.  I'll be happy if I can whittle it down to 4.

old & new, off & on

I resolved to scale back Thanksgiving baking this year and only sort-of succeeded.  Five pies is too many for a household of 5 people, even 5 pie-loving people.  I would invariably finish off the pumpkin and pecan long after my splurge window had closed.

This year, only two pies: from scratch apple, and blueberry  But two desserts isn't enough -- this is the one day a year when I actually, you know, plan, and consequently am able to make dessert. It does pay off.  So along with the apple and blueberry pies, this year we have pecan pie bars (easier to make than another pie, and very tasty) and a pumpkin jelly-roll style cake with cream cheese filling.

Yesterday began with me oversleeping -- typical, since DH didn't have to bring the kids to school today, his alarm was not set -- and didn't improve much from there until I got home.  Various fires kept springing up at school which had to be dealt with.  The one clear take-away from the day is how great my team is.  I am seasonally appropriate and very thankful.

Even though I was officially OK to leave school at 12;30, I didn't get out of there until after 2pm -- first there my team  and I met with our admin team about an ongoing concern we all share, and then, just as I was starting to pack up, I realized that it was last day of the week!  I had been focused so much on Thanksgiving at home that I had completely ignored the fact that I would be back in school on Monday.  So I did my end-of-week planning for the following week, and then wasted about half an hour trying to print something which inexplicably would not print.  The system kept telling me that the page printed, but it was disappearing into the ether somewhere.  And since the printer is at the other end of the building, finding this out necessitated a lot of running back and forth.  I finally gave up -- I'll deal with it on Monday.

I was so frazzled by all that by the time I got home I didn't want to do anything.  DD came out with me to get a quick lunch and that helped, and then I let myself decompress for a while.  Marathon cooking (and cleaning-as-we-go) ensued from 4:30 and the two pies went into the oven at 10:30.  Various children helped with different tasks, which was awesome -- DD has completely taken over making the stuffing, which really saves me a lot of time.

Notes from this year's baking: 3 T of tapioca starch is not enough to set the blueberry filling.  Blueberry soup, again this year -- not that anyone's complaining, it really tastes good.  There is  a sweet spot between glue and soup and I have yet to find it.  We'll keep trying.   We're trying a whole turkey plus extra turkey breast this year, and it did all fit on the pans, (whew) The only other thing is to buy more than one package of  celery because I'm out and I'd like to have some for the soup stock that will go on the stove later.

With any luck everything will taste good.  It's just about time for me to go start working on the potatoes.  Other than making the gravy, that's the last significant cooking task of the day.  The other side dishes will go in the oven to warm when the turkey comes out, and we'll be good to go.  I looked up the schedule I posted here years ago to double-check when everything should happen, and I was shocked to see it was from 2006.  That was a fast ten  years!  But here we all are, and it's a beautiful day, and we are happy and thankful to be together.

There, there! It's OK...

It's a week and a half later, and the left is still throwing fits.  If anything, some of them are ratcheting up the volume, as if shouting louder can change events to suit them better.

It's embarrassing, really.

I remember when Obama won, 4 years ago, and DS1 was upset because he was worried about the direction the country would take. I was, too, but I told him: in the long run, it's not going to matter so much.  We'll get up, we'll go to work, we'll live our lives as best we can.  That's what we do.

And that's what we did, and we can see that some things really were pretty awful, but the country is still here in spite of everything, and we are still living our lives.

I understand that some on the left really do believe that Trump is the second coming of Hitler, but that's because they actually believe the press, which has been completely derelict in this election cycle.  I don't believe Hitler could run so many successful businesses in this day and age.

Anyway, I want to ask them, what kind of example are you setting for your children? You're a bunch of sore losers.  I suppose you think that you're in some sort of existential struggle for justice, but you're not.  You're just whining about an outcome  you don't like.  If you really want to change it, the next election's in 2 years, see if you can win back Congress.  Then 2 years after that, there's another presidential election.  Maybe by that time, they'll understand that the president is not the emperor of the world, and that the checks and balances written into the our constitution mean something.  The most recent President Bush and President Obama after him wielded far too much power -- the presidency should not be an imperial position.  If Trump's election means that gets scaled back a dozen or so notches, that will be a good thing.

***

In the meantime: caught up with my grad school work.  Am prepped for this week's teaching, still have a ton of grades to put in.  So very, very excited that this will be super short week!

coming down

The election is over, thank God.  Really, I do.  I hope we can move away from constant demonization of "the other" in this country and go back to society in which disagreement just means you have a different opinion, not that you're evil.

So after yesterday I feel as if I can finally unwind a bit.  I have a deep, deep sense of exhaustion that will take a solid week of sleep to work out.  I'm not likely to get that any time soon.

Teaching continues apace with various little fires that spring up, demanding attention and acting like emotional vampires because they suck the enjoyment right out of the job, sometimes. I taught a 45 minute lesson today on circumference and wanted to shoot myself because the students were just not paying attention.  There are only so many ways you can say "circumference equals 2 pi R" before you feel like throwing something (a fit, mostly).

Graduate school: still haven't written about controversies in evolution and that was due last Thursday.  Oops.  But did go out on Sunday with DH and measured all my trees, so I've got my data and can crunch it to finish up my report.  I haven't looked at my to-do list Saturday at the zoo.  Only one more zoo day left!  It's so hard to believe.  I'm going to be profoundly relieved when this class is over.  I just hope I get a decent grade because I will be screwed if I don't!  (Of course it would help if I would turn my assignments in on time, but my impression is that they are cutting us slack because they know we all have real lives and full time jobs.  Right now, being a full time student sounds so appealing to me!)

On the family front, two brothers and one nephew jointly purchased my mother's house from the estate, so that should be closed out soon.  I suppose it will be nice to have it all done and settled, but it all still feels a bit weird.  It's not my house anymore, but I suppose I will get to visit it again at some point. We have no idea what we are doing this summer, except going out to Ohio for a family wedding over Memorial Day weekend.  May is going to be very busy:  I graduate (God willing) on May 13 (booked the hotel rooms already!), then DD graduates two weeks later, and we head out to Ohio pretty much immediately.

Then after that, life will be delightfully boring, because it will be summer and I will not be taking any classes or having to do extra planning or anything.  I think.  I hope!  Perhaps I could... read a book, just for fun? What a delightful idea.

Oh, yeah, I volunteered to teach a STEM elective next semester to give the schedule more flexibility so I could get algebra in their own class room.  So I'll be teaching six different classes with six different preps.

I am officially insane.... but I think it will be fun, and I'm going to be a very good girl over winter break and do as much planning as I can.

Even with all that, I have a sense of things getting better.  One thing that is definitely better is my back, because I finally figured out which particular bad posture was causing my horrible pain, and I've been relatively back pain-free for the last 5 days now.  That's something of a miracle in and of itself.

almost there

I saw my endocrinologist yesterday (well, Wednesday) and got my tumor marker results: stable, or perhaps a tiny uptick (?) to 3.5.  I'll take it, especially with the clean scan.

I discussed with her the possibility of not having a whole body scan every year, and she agreed I don't have to have one next year: Hallelujah!  I will still get Thyrogen but just the two shots and then bloodwork.

That was the good news.  Regarding my pituitary adenoma, she would like me to have another MRI.  *sigh*  I really, really hate MRIs.  It's the noise, I just feel like I'm under attack.  And of course you can't have an "open" MRI of your brain.  We'll see when that gets scheduled.  My ultrasound and follow up with Dr. S are coming up on Monday, and I was hoping that would be the end of this round of testing.

Also: diagnostic mammogram last week since the girls are painful and quite different sizes now.  No indications of anything cancer-related there, so that was good -- just a colossal waste of time doing an ultrasound even though the x-rays were perfectly normal.  That was a completely unnecessary manufactured stress.  They could have just said, your x-rays look fine, but we want to do the ultrasound anyway because of your family history, and that would have helped a lot.  But at least I don't have to do that for another year.

P/T for back and neck are slowly starting to make a difference.  I just have to build muscles again, I let everything fall to pieces last spring when I had that persistent pelvic pain.  I am looking forward to finishing up that treatment and getting back those 3-4 hours each week.  On the other hand, those hours are high-quality "me time" and I'm glad I have them!

School and grad school are holding steady so far.  So glad to be at my new school! I love my team and my students and am finally in a groove, it seems.  I did just tell my thesis adviser that I feel like all heck could break loose at any moment, and I do.  I'm just not going to worry about that until it actually happens.