Tuesday, July 29, 2008

the problem with volunteering...

You can't quit -- or you feel really, really bad about quitting -- unless you have an ironclad excuse/reason.

That leaves you (me) somewhat stuck when the people/person you (me) are volunteer-working with are less than professional, taking every opportunity to disrespect you (me) and being passive-aggressive to boot.

DH thinks I should quit, and cites the continuous dissing as reason enough. I'm trying to be pragmatic about it: I'm helping people, doing good work, and does it really matter if I'm treated like a 12-year-old? Most of the time, it doesn't.

Thinking about this now, I'm embarrassed over how I allow myself to be treated. I'm trying to help people by giving them information, and I'm being told not to! I should stop being such a milk toast and stand up for myself, but I honestly don't see this changing. You can't change a habit or a personality that has been formed over decades. Well, I certainly can't, and it's not worth the aggravation to try.

In my defense I realize that I said what I wanted to say anyway, and when told, "Don't talk about that!" I asked, "Why not?"

I can see myself snapping, eventually. There will come a time when I'm told to be quiet or not discuss something and I'll reply, "Why is it that you want me to work with you, again? If you want me to do this work, let me do it, and stop trying to shut me up."

That's a great bit of dialog. I'll have to remember it for next time.

1 comment:

Papercollector said...

Jo,

we got to spend little time together, my schedule, your schedule, life... it is worth the living.... i quit volunteering all except one day a year... and for the precise situations you face... and just think of how many of them you have faced. looking forward to seeing you this weekend

love j