Thursday, December 23, 2004

it's all too much

I am seesawing between feeling very Christmas-y, and then feeling nothing much at all. It's weird.

I've been so exhausted lately, it's amazing I feel anything, I think... I pushed to get the cards addressed, etc last night, and mailed them this afternoon. So at least that's done. But everything has been so odd lately with me. I have no idea what's going on.

DS2 was like me, today, only without the overlay of adult ability to control himself. He was alternately joyous and miserable, often melting down into tears over seeming nothings. At Border's, the idea that he would have to wait until I read DD her book first before reading him another (he had just heard one), set him off terribly. And at bedtime, he cried and cried and cried.

I think he's just overwhelmed by it all. I vaguely recall both DS1 and DD going through similar meltdowns over holidays -- they just can't handle it.

I held him on my lap and rubbed his back and sang to him, "Baa Baa Black Sheep", and then "The 12 Bugs of Christmas":
twelve angel bugs a-rising
eleven dainty bugs a-dancing
ten festive bugs a-flying
nine nimble bugs a-nibbling
eight popcorn bugs a-popping
seven yuletide bugs a-yodeling
six tinsel bugs a-tangling
five glowing bugs
four snowflake bugs
three sneaky bugs
two cuckoo bugs
and a fruitcake bug in a pear tree!


My throat, already raw from the day, was not too happy with this exertion. But over the course of the song I could feel my baby relax and let go of all his frantic energy. He sat on my lap for prayers, and he went to bed with no fuss at all.

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