Whew!

...
Home from the visit/dinner... it's always exhausting when there are so many kids around. There were 7 total, and I am just going to have a nice vent here and get it all out, since it's just not done to bitch about the way other people raise their kids, is it?

DF (dear friend) has four boys, ages between 7 and 1, roughly about 2 years between each. The oldest has been a bit of an instigator in the past but fortunately I didn't see any of that today. Actually, today is the first time, ever, that we've gone over for a visit and there were no fights or crying or fits. That's a major accomplishment.

Part of that is because DD took off to play with one of DF's neighbor's daughters, they are around the same age, and I've been acquainted with them for quite a few years now. This is the first time that DD has gone over to someone's house to play all by herself! I actually was pleased with how comfortable she was about it. She's really growing up. Not having the odd-girl out helped prevent conflicts, I'm sure.

DS1 is also growing up, because he managed to diffuse any situations the could've turned ugly -- I know simply because there weren't any incidences! They all spent a lot of time running around playing outside (yay!) and I'm sure that helped, too. In the past, DS1 has been sensitive to teasing and that can really be a nightmare. Today things went so well it was amazing.

So, what is it that I want to vent about? Oh, I've got a few things... DF's DS2 (who is 5) is a constant "grazer", literally every time he sees food, he tries to grab it and eat it. DH told me he was seriously eyeing the cheesecake when it was cooling on the counter, before we put it in the fridge... DH had to tell him to leave it alone, he had his mouth on the springform!. Yikes. Before supper he was snacking on the plate of sugar cookies... after supper, he raided the pantry for Halloween candy leftovers (twice), then had a couple of brownies, then some of the cheesecake, then came back later for more brownies! I freely admit that my kids had cookies and brownies, too, but they never, never take food without asking me first, especially sweets. I don't know why DF doesn't put a hook&eye on her pantry door, or put the candy someplace her DS can't get to it... she always says this is a rare thing, her DS getting into the pantry, but it happens literally every time we go over there, it's cookies or candy or marshmallows or something. The kid is a walking carb addiction timebomb. I feel really sorry for him.

And honestly? DF trained him to be this way. When he was first born she nursed him every 1-1/2 to 2 hours, like most of us do, trying to satiate our starving newborns... except she kept that up, I swear to you, until she weaned him at 16 months. After nursing 3 kids, you'd think she'd understand that you don't feed a baby until they're hungry, but she nurses depending on how full her breasts are feeling! Ai yi yi. Of course none of us even bother trying to tell her she's perhaps taking the wrong approach -- there's no point, they are her kids and she is free to raise them as she sees fit. But this is precisely the kind of thing a journal is perfect for, even a public one like this, that I know she will never, ever see.

So, there's the obsessive nursing thing, that drives me crazy. We were there from about 4 until 8:30, and she nursed DS4 (who turned 1 in November) THREE times. It may even have been four. WTF? The kid is one year old, there is no way he needs to nurse that often. I felt bad for the little guy, he was obviously exhausted. DF nursed him and he passed out, so she put him down to sleep... on a pillow on the floor in the middle of the family room! Under normal circumstances (no company), that may be OK, but when there are 3 extra kids running around the house? Um, no. My DD came within about an inch of stepping on him -- poor thing got scared when I yelled at her, but she didn't see him on the floor or didn't realize that thing on the floor in the blanket was the baby!

So of course poor baby wakes up after the tiniest of naps, with all the commotion going on in the room, and then was very cranky, poor dear. I asked DF if I could help do anything, and she insisted on peeling potatoes (didn't eat any!) while I tried to calm down poor little guy. Seriously, I could've peeled those potatoes, I'm quite good at it, but she's got this "I have to do it" mentality. And her DS4 is screaming his little head off, he didn't want any piece of me (and my DS3 is following me around with this expression, "What are you doing with that baby? That is NOT your baby, Mom!" It was funny.) So finally she finishes the potatoes and takes the baby and instantly he calms down. When that kid is fussy, the ONLY person he wants is his mom... his dad is useless. So useless, in fact, that he didn't even try to pick up the baby and comfort him.

I'll give DF's DH brownie points for helping with the dishes tonight. I know for a fact that he never does squat around the house, so it's good when we go there, he makes an effort and gives DF a hand with at least some things.

Then there's DF's DS3, who is just a little older than my own DS3, but is barely socialized IMO. DF had to repeatedly get him out of cabinets and whatnot. Why don't they install cabinet locks? Who, in a house basically full of toddlers, puts the good china in a lower cabinet without a lock? Talk about making life difficult for yourself! That's the kind of thing that makes me crazy.

DF is a nice person but she is not someone I can ever be "close" to, and I never reveal anything particularly personal or meaningful to her. I've heard what she says about other people we know, and I just don't want to give her any ammo. She's very generous and will go out of her way to help, but I always get the impression that she's keeping score in some "Big Book of Good Deeds", you know? I've had other "friends" who are similarly competitive or score-keeping and I don't like who I become when I engage in that kind of stuff... so we spend the evening talking about what the kids got for Christmas, clothes our husbands will or won't wear (see previous journal entries, hehehe), great shopping bargains to be had after Christmas, etc. IOW, b-o-r-i-n-g. Yawn.


However, she's a great cook! She made corned beef and told us that it's considered insurance for good luck throughout the year to eat it on New Year's Day. I can definitely see making that a tradition in our family, as DH and I both love corned beef. She had told us she was making corned beef & cabbage, which I love, and I was expecting cabbage boiled with the beef (yum), but instead she made a kind of stewed cabbage dish with onions, chicken broth, and tomatoes that was extremely delicious. I'll be trying that one. She also did the boiled potatoes and made some cornbread... I had a piece of the cornbread which was very tasty, but that's the only non-LC thing I had. Of course the cheesecake didn't taste LC but it was! YAY!

OK, I'm running into my time limit! Off to bed before I break my resolution on the very first day of the year!