10:48, now

The clock caught my eye at 10:47(pm).

I have to write up math notes for (at least) 2 lessons, put together a science power point, and design a bulletin board for math.  And it's nearly 11PM.  How did that happen?

Well: I stayed at work until about 4:15, mostly in a meeting and then in meeting post-mortem and organizing.  Then I picked up the kids, got home, and went out to my physical therapy session.  Then I came home and unwound for about 20 minutes and then took the kids to their piano lessons.  On the way home, we stopped and got Chik-fil-A, and we had a nice dinner together talking about different bands.  Then DD and, to a much lesser extent, I helped DS2 with his math homework, just  a little. By then it was after 9 and I settled down to work, but didn't.

You know how it is when you get on the computer.  Anyway, I checked my work email and there was a message from a parent that required crafting a very careful response, which took me forever.  And now I'm procrastinating even more by writing this blog post. (Ha!)

I did finish my paper for my "zoo class," as I call it in real life. It's good that's over, but know I have to put together the display board and think about my presentation for Saturday.  I am so looking forward to being done with that class!

Off to work now, finally, very grateful I have already done the algebra notes for the rest of this week!

closing in

About 5 minutes ago, I uploaded my final draft of the research paper for my last content course.  Our last course meeting is this upcoming Saturday, and all I have to do now to prepare is make a poster board so I can present my research.  Yes, I am doing a science fair project!  I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this class, and it was fine.

Except the APA formatting, which makes me want to rip my hair out.  It's just so fussy. I admit, in the early days, it seemed completely arbitrary and non-intuitive, but I've been working with it for a few years now and it really isn't as arbitrary as I thought it was.  It's actually pretty consistent, and there's something nice about that.  I wish my students used it, but we are inexplicably using MLA format at school.  Still, reformatting my tables and putting appropriate captions on all my graphs (not to mention taking the titles off the graphs, they are including in the caption, so you don't put a title on the graph itself!) was tedious.  Glad it's over.

School is OK, too.  I have a huge stack of grades to put in, but I will whittle them down during the day tomorrow.  I brought them all home with me today, hoping I would get to them, but I decided to finish the paper first.  It wasn't due until Thursday but there was no point in putting it off, and now I have the sense of having a bit of a breather.  *whew*

End-of-term is rushing up to meet us.  I can't wait to be free of this feeling that I have 6 things pending at any given time.  I'll be happy if I can whittle it down to 4.

old & new, off & on

I resolved to scale back Thanksgiving baking this year and only sort-of succeeded.  Five pies is too many for a household of 5 people, even 5 pie-loving people.  I would invariably finish off the pumpkin and pecan long after my splurge window had closed.

This year, only two pies: from scratch apple, and blueberry  But two desserts isn't enough -- this is the one day a year when I actually, you know, plan, and consequently am able to make dessert. It does pay off.  So along with the apple and blueberry pies, this year we have pecan pie bars (easier to make than another pie, and very tasty) and a pumpkin jelly-roll style cake with cream cheese filling.

Yesterday began with me oversleeping -- typical, since DH didn't have to bring the kids to school today, his alarm was not set -- and didn't improve much from there until I got home.  Various fires kept springing up at school which had to be dealt with.  The one clear take-away from the day is how great my team is.  I am seasonally appropriate and very thankful.

Even though I was officially OK to leave school at 12;30, I didn't get out of there until after 2pm -- first there my team  and I met with our admin team about an ongoing concern we all share, and then, just as I was starting to pack up, I realized that it was last day of the week!  I had been focused so much on Thanksgiving at home that I had completely ignored the fact that I would be back in school on Monday.  So I did my end-of-week planning for the following week, and then wasted about half an hour trying to print something which inexplicably would not print.  The system kept telling me that the page printed, but it was disappearing into the ether somewhere.  And since the printer is at the other end of the building, finding this out necessitated a lot of running back and forth.  I finally gave up -- I'll deal with it on Monday.

I was so frazzled by all that by the time I got home I didn't want to do anything.  DD came out with me to get a quick lunch and that helped, and then I let myself decompress for a while.  Marathon cooking (and cleaning-as-we-go) ensued from 4:30 and the two pies went into the oven at 10:30.  Various children helped with different tasks, which was awesome -- DD has completely taken over making the stuffing, which really saves me a lot of time.

Notes from this year's baking: 3 T of tapioca starch is not enough to set the blueberry filling.  Blueberry soup, again this year -- not that anyone's complaining, it really tastes good.  There is  a sweet spot between glue and soup and I have yet to find it.  We'll keep trying.   We're trying a whole turkey plus extra turkey breast this year, and it did all fit on the pans, (whew) The only other thing is to buy more than one package of  celery because I'm out and I'd like to have some for the soup stock that will go on the stove later.

With any luck everything will taste good.  It's just about time for me to go start working on the potatoes.  Other than making the gravy, that's the last significant cooking task of the day.  The other side dishes will go in the oven to warm when the turkey comes out, and we'll be good to go.  I looked up the schedule I posted here years ago to double-check when everything should happen, and I was shocked to see it was from 2006.  That was a fast ten  years!  But here we all are, and it's a beautiful day, and we are happy and thankful to be together.

There, there! It's OK...

It's a week and a half later, and the left is still throwing fits.  If anything, some of them are ratcheting up the volume, as if shouting louder can change events to suit them better.

It's embarrassing, really.

I remember when Obama won, 4 years ago, and DS1 was upset because he was worried about the direction the country would take. I was, too, but I told him: in the long run, it's not going to matter so much.  We'll get up, we'll go to work, we'll live our lives as best we can.  That's what we do.

And that's what we did, and we can see that some things really were pretty awful, but the country is still here in spite of everything, and we are still living our lives.

I understand that some on the left really do believe that Trump is the second coming of Hitler, but that's because they actually believe the press, which has been completely derelict in this election cycle.  I don't believe Hitler could run so many successful businesses in this day and age.

Anyway, I want to ask them, what kind of example are you setting for your children? You're a bunch of sore losers.  I suppose you think that you're in some sort of existential struggle for justice, but you're not.  You're just whining about an outcome  you don't like.  If you really want to change it, the next election's in 2 years, see if you can win back Congress.  Then 2 years after that, there's another presidential election.  Maybe by that time, they'll understand that the president is not the emperor of the world, and that the checks and balances written into the our constitution mean something.  The most recent President Bush and President Obama after him wielded far too much power -- the presidency should not be an imperial position.  If Trump's election means that gets scaled back a dozen or so notches, that will be a good thing.

***

In the meantime: caught up with my grad school work.  Am prepped for this week's teaching, still have a ton of grades to put in.  So very, very excited that this will be super short week!

coming down

The election is over, thank God.  Really, I do.  I hope we can move away from constant demonization of "the other" in this country and go back to society in which disagreement just means you have a different opinion, not that you're evil.

So after yesterday I feel as if I can finally unwind a bit.  I have a deep, deep sense of exhaustion that will take a solid week of sleep to work out.  I'm not likely to get that any time soon.

Teaching continues apace with various little fires that spring up, demanding attention and acting like emotional vampires because they suck the enjoyment right out of the job, sometimes. I taught a 45 minute lesson today on circumference and wanted to shoot myself because the students were just not paying attention.  There are only so many ways you can say "circumference equals 2 pi R" before you feel like throwing something (a fit, mostly).

Graduate school: still haven't written about controversies in evolution and that was due last Thursday.  Oops.  But did go out on Sunday with DH and measured all my trees, so I've got my data and can crunch it to finish up my report.  I haven't looked at my to-do list Saturday at the zoo.  Only one more zoo day left!  It's so hard to believe.  I'm going to be profoundly relieved when this class is over.  I just hope I get a decent grade because I will be screwed if I don't!  (Of course it would help if I would turn my assignments in on time, but my impression is that they are cutting us slack because they know we all have real lives and full time jobs.  Right now, being a full time student sounds so appealing to me!)

On the family front, two brothers and one nephew jointly purchased my mother's house from the estate, so that should be closed out soon.  I suppose it will be nice to have it all done and settled, but it all still feels a bit weird.  It's not my house anymore, but I suppose I will get to visit it again at some point. We have no idea what we are doing this summer, except going out to Ohio for a family wedding over Memorial Day weekend.  May is going to be very busy:  I graduate (God willing) on May 13 (booked the hotel rooms already!), then DD graduates two weeks later, and we head out to Ohio pretty much immediately.

Then after that, life will be delightfully boring, because it will be summer and I will not be taking any classes or having to do extra planning or anything.  I think.  I hope!  Perhaps I could... read a book, just for fun? What a delightful idea.

Oh, yeah, I volunteered to teach a STEM elective next semester to give the schedule more flexibility so I could get algebra in their own class room.  So I'll be teaching six different classes with six different preps.

I am officially insane.... but I think it will be fun, and I'm going to be a very good girl over winter break and do as much planning as I can.

Even with all that, I have a sense of things getting better.  One thing that is definitely better is my back, because I finally figured out which particular bad posture was causing my horrible pain, and I've been relatively back pain-free for the last 5 days now.  That's something of a miracle in and of itself.

almost there

I saw my endocrinologist yesterday (well, Wednesday) and got my tumor marker results: stable, or perhaps a tiny uptick (?) to 3.5.  I'll take it, especially with the clean scan.

I discussed with her the possibility of not having a whole body scan every year, and she agreed I don't have to have one next year: Hallelujah!  I will still get Thyrogen but just the two shots and then bloodwork.

That was the good news.  Regarding my pituitary adenoma, she would like me to have another MRI.  *sigh*  I really, really hate MRIs.  It's the noise, I just feel like I'm under attack.  And of course you can't have an "open" MRI of your brain.  We'll see when that gets scheduled.  My ultrasound and follow up with Dr. S are coming up on Monday, and I was hoping that would be the end of this round of testing.

Also: diagnostic mammogram last week since the girls are painful and quite different sizes now.  No indications of anything cancer-related there, so that was good -- just a colossal waste of time doing an ultrasound even though the x-rays were perfectly normal.  That was a completely unnecessary manufactured stress.  They could have just said, your x-rays look fine, but we want to do the ultrasound anyway because of your family history, and that would have helped a lot.  But at least I don't have to do that for another year.

P/T for back and neck are slowly starting to make a difference.  I just have to build muscles again, I let everything fall to pieces last spring when I had that persistent pelvic pain.  I am looking forward to finishing up that treatment and getting back those 3-4 hours each week.  On the other hand, those hours are high-quality "me time" and I'm glad I have them!

School and grad school are holding steady so far.  So glad to be at my new school! I love my team and my students and am finally in a groove, it seems.  I did just tell my thesis adviser that I feel like all heck could break loose at any moment, and I do.  I'm just not going to worry about that until it actually happens.

good intentions

After dinner, I'm working, and I think, I'll stop at 10, do my puttering around, and get to bed at a decent hour.

What happens is this: I fall asleep before ten, wake up sometime after 11, and suddenly the necessity of going to bed at a decent hour just doesn't exist anymore.   That explains why it's nearly 2AM and I'm still up.

Hey, here's a photo of a leaf I took in Falmouth before we left:

Oak leaves don't usually get this red. 

I love how the hydrangeas morph to purple in the fall.

there & back

Went to Massachusetts, had a splendid time, did lots of work, lots of driving, lots of eating!  Not much sleep, though.

Now I'm confronting a huge amount of stuff to do, and realizing the only way I can do this is if I put myself on a strict schedule.  I'm working on it.

I have a million appointments coming up.  Not particularly happy about any of them.  We'll see how it goes.

in which I have plans

In spite of being swamped with work, or perhaps because of it, I have been making plans to do things that take hours or days that I perhaps should not be sacrificing.

I'll manage.

This weekend DH and I are taking the two boys to see HMS Pinafore at ASU's Lyric Opera.  DS2 has to do a vocal performance review, and it was on the list of approved concerts, so we're going.  It has been quite a while since I've seen a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta, but I am deeply fond of them from all my summers at the College Light Opera Company in Falmouth.  It should be a fun night out.

OK, that's just Saturday night (we'll go to mass and dinner before, so it really is half the day, it seems).  Talking with DD the other day we both got nostalgic for fall in New England, so we're going back for a few days over fall break.  DS2 surprised me by saying he'd like to come, too.  Our plan is to visit Salem and perhaps do the Freedom Trail if the weather allows, and perhaps see family if anyone is around and available.  We are all going in so many different directions these days, it's hard to say what we'll actually end up doing, but we're looking forward to having a little time away.

I do need to get myself somewhat organized before we go so I don't miss any deadlines, but I'm planning on doing my data collection (measuring mesquite trees!) for my grad school project this weekend just to get it over with.  Only five more teaching days of school before break!

made it!

Part of me wants to recap everything I did this week just so I can say, See, I did all that!  But I don't want to type it all out.  

So, yeah, I did everything I needed to for the teaching part of my job, and for the admin part of my job, except sending out an email to parents who were interested in helping out in the junior high, which I will do in the morning. (maybe)

What I didn't do is my grad school work -- a bunch of reading, another short write-up, and prep for the 9a-4p day at the zoo tomorrow.  I'm pretty excited about that, in spite of my exhaustion.  It's only 7:30-ish now.  I can get through what I need to do tonight and get a decent night's sleep, and then, well, I'm thinking it should be easier from now on.

Why? Because I won't have to spend 9+ hours driving back and forth to Phoenix, and my therapy has dropped back to twice a week which gives me back another 2 hours.  Plus we only have 8 more teaching days of school, plus a day of conferences, before fall break. 

That will be lovely.

Oh, yeah: the scan was clean, but blood work won't be back from California for 3 more weeks, so I won't get the official all-clear until then.  But that's more time I get back: I don't have to cook everything from scratch anymore.  It's remarkable what a hassle it is to make gravy when you have to make the stock, too.  Also, it is really delightful to let others prepare food for you.  DH & DD have gone to pick up our take-out sushi dinner, which I hope will be as delightful as it is when we eat in-house... I just have too much homework right now to be able to enjoy that. 

the great wave

Everyone knows this painting:

Hokusai's Great Wave off Kanagawa

I think most people focus on the wave.  I'm one of the guys in the boats.

***

Thank God I planned out my math classes because I've barely been keeping up with everything.  OK, let me backtrack a bit.  If there is nothing unusual going on, I can keep up if I am diligent, meaning I don't take any days or nights off from work.  

Of course there is always something unusual going on, some other demand on my time.  Let's see: First, I had not one but two district meetings to attend, one all-day, one only a few hours, but both required me to write up sub plans and that in itself takes hours.   

Then, DS2 received a deficiency notice in humane letters and that set off a whole chain reaction of events, ending with me attending a meeting with his teacher and the dean of the high school yesterday.  There's a novel's worth of material to explain everything, but I'll sum up by saying simply that I got upset (justifiably), there was miscommunication, and everything's good now.  And, miraculously, DS2 is no longer deficient because he is doing his work.  Part of that work has been another time-sink for me, coaching him  on his Utopia essay.  

In an effort to hold off crashing-and-burning, I'm in treatment for my neck and lower back.  Every time I go, which is three times a week, I think, "I don't have time for this," but I have to make the time.  I can't teach four classes in a row without my back screaming at me, and I've already learned stretches that magically fix that.  The neck is work in progress; somehow I've lost nearly all the curvature I'm supposed to have - 45%.  My curvature? 4%.  Yikes.  I didn't even know, of course, but that perhaps explains the numbness and tingling I was getting in my right arm: nerve entrapment.  That is so much better since I've been going, it's a miracle -- it was preventing me from sleeping, and that's not something I can afford.  So, progress.  But also a huge time sink, and I should be spending even more time on in it because I'm not doing my stretches and exercises at home much at all, and I should be spending at least a half hour a day on them.  Typing that, I think, why can't I find a half hour?  If I do, I will feel better.  It's because when I get home I have so much else to do, and when I finish that, I'm exhausted.  I think I will bump up the exercises to the top of the to-do list so they get done first.

Grad class? Excellent... but I was up way too late doing the readings, and then up way-way-too-late writing my first real assignment, which wasn't even that long. My first in-person class at the Phoenix Zoo is a week from today, and my goal there is to have completed the first assignment comments by then.  (They were due two days ago, but there is a grace period.  I feel bad that I'm starting off this way, but it is what it is.)

Another time sink has been cooking for the low iodine diet, which is mostly the same as usual except when it's not.  If we want gravy or something with a flavorful broth I have to put a lot more effort into it, because I can't just scoop out a little Better Than Bouillon to give it some depth.  I obsess over food when I'm on this diet because I feel so constrained.  Not deprived! I've been eating very well -- I just have to make every single thing, because its nigh impossible to ensure that commercially prepared food is made without iodized or sea salt. I also can't have any dairy or seafood or soy.  It's remarkable how much of my diet has at least one of those things in it.   Also, guacamole is a perfectly acceptable dinner, and Guinness makes a fine base for beef stew.

***

Now, the Great Wave: I have my Thyrogen trial this week, which means I'm driving up to Phoenix four days out of five.  I'm using my prep hours and driving up mid-day, so with any luck the traffic will be light.  But it will be stressful and exhausting, simply because I'm driving an extra hour (or more) each day, I'm being injected with synthetic TSH which always makes me feel weird, and I'm back into the cancer testing cycle.  There's no way not to be stressed!  But it's especially stressful this year because I'm taking 2 hours a day out of my available time.  I don't want to give up those 8 hours!  Hence, the feeling of impending doom.  

I created a planning document for myself so I don't forget anything.  Well, really, so I don't go crazy. I have been doing something similar each week so far just on random pieces of paper, and that gets messy and I find myself, like this week on Wednesday night at 11PM, realizing that I actually don't have the Course 3 Lesson 18 notes done, and having to type them up while struggling to keep my eyes open.  I'd love to prepare everything for the week in advance, but the reality is I usually get Monday and Tuesday done,  and then the rest of the week gets done the night before.  Eventually, when I'm out of physical therapy and all this testing nonsense is done, I will be able to get there.  I hope. 

I would like the visual metaphor for my life to be a canoe ride down a wide, gently flowing river through beautiful woods and meadows full of wildflowers, but right now, I'm off Kanagawa watching that wave come toward me, rowing for survival. 

wish I had a photo...

DS2 made garam masala while I prepped chicken for chicken masala tonight.  The herbs and spices looked and smelled heavenly while toasting in the pan on the stove, and I swear I asked him to take a photo but we didn't get one.  Next time, then -- although we have enough garam masala to last quite a while now. Cooking was a nice break from the planning I had been doing all day, and am now returning to after a little break.

I'm trying to balance work and life better this year.  In past years, whenever I've had any outstanding task, I've just willed my way through it at the expense of everything else.  This year I'm purposely looking at everything and saying, "That can wait," and so far, it has been OK.

That said, today I planned out all 3 of my math classes for the rest of the quarter, and barring surprises, I shouldn't need to touch those again.  I'm about to tackle my science classes and try for at least another few weeks out, but with the new textbooks, it's not as easy.  I love the complete lack of ambiguity in math, how the lessons follow one after the other, with predictable interval for tests and quizzes.  All I have to do is match it up against our calendar (and shuffle it around again when I lose instructional days to unexpected events...)  It's a fussy process but not difficult, and I suppose I could include less detail to make it easier if it has to change.  But the details help me stay on track in the classroom, so I kept them in.  Now with q1 planning done, the rest of the quarters will be easier, too.

Now I'm left pondering how best to make my suggestions and comments about those new science textbooks.  I have a bit of an edge after last year's failed proposal, but I'll try.  We'll see how it goes.

very quickly --

I should be showering, or making a Power Point, but I'll just post this little update.  So far I am so impressed with my students.   One of my concerns was what kind of kids we would get, but it is such a great group.  Obviously we're still at the beginning of the year and I'm sure various ugly things will raise their heads from time to time, but overall, they are the "motivated students" our mission statement talks about.

The registrar from my old campus was at our school today for the district registrars' meeting, and she popped in to visit me.  I told her without really even thinking about it that I love my new school and things are going very well (because they are!)  She said that they're very full back at the old campus -- all the classes have 35 students!  The thought of it makes me cringe.  I just don't have the energy for that.

Ironically, I'm doing about five times the prep work I had to at the old campus, but because we have so few students, it's OK.  I'm not trying to prep all those classes and grade 200 students' worth of work.  I actually love the planning and curriculum development part, so it's actually kind of a bonus.  And I love teaching the higher math classes, but the 7th grade math is a bit of a snooze.  (For me, not them.)  We'll see how this goes, but we're off to really great start.

definitely swimming in the deep end now...

Yikes, I have a lot of work!

Prepping for five different classes a day is a new experience for me.  Content-wise I'm fine, but process wise?  I can't do it without my notes & power points, and that's what's keeping me busy.

I'm a few lessons ahead in math, and I'm going to try to do some every day so I work up a reasonable buffer.  My class starts in a couple of weeks and I'm going to need to carve out some time for that!

Today I thought, why did I do this to myself?  But I do love the new school, the team is great there, and so far - one week in - the students are great, too.  Of course we'll see how it goes as we all become accustomed to each other, but so far so good, and I'm not looking for trouble.

FDoS

First day of school!

It was a great day, but I'm exhausted and praying I don't get sick.  I worked frantically the last 5 days to get both my classrooms ready, with success... but of course nothing is organized.

Fortunately I don't have to teach content this week, because my planning is not done (that's for this weekend); we're just doing policies, procedures, and practice this week.  I'm looking forward to getting back into a groove.

Meanwhile, I jumped through all the hoops and will be taking the course at the zoo, beginning in just a couple of weeks.

Off to revise last year's power point to make it relevant to the new school...

53!

How did that happen?

I have no idea where all that time went.   I certainly don't feel any older.

Today I started back to work, my pre-service days for the new school I'm helping open.   I'm starting to think I'm crazy: I'm teaching 5 subjects and I'm team lead.  On the other hand, I'll have roughly 55 students total, and that will surely help with the grading and give me time to prep all those classes.  Two aren't completely new, they're just different versions of the same material (that would be the science classes) and three are new to me, but the content is beautifully laid out for me already (that would be the math classes).

I'm up late because I finally started to hammer out my final project for my History of Science class, and I have a solid outline and a believable activity to present tomorrow in class.  I may even have time to write it up before the end of the evening.  We'll be having surf & turf at home with desserts from our favorite, Euro Cafe.  (I don't have time to bake this year, and that's OK.)

Bad news today: the PT referral I got from my urologist will not work at all for me, they are too far away and their hours are too restrictive.  I called the office to see if they could recommend anyone else.  In the meantime, I'm trying to ease back into some sort of exercise routine.  Part of me thinks if I just start doing squats and stretches again I'll be OK.  For the most part, I am.  I felt weirdly dizzy this afternoon for a little while, but it didn't last too long and hasn't returned.  The pelvic pain comes and goes but stretching does seem to help with the radiating pain, so that's good.

We'll see how it goes.

not cancer!

Of course this is great news.  I spent the last 2 weeks trying not to spin myself up into a frantic mess over this and did a pretty good job.  It helped that yesterday the kids and I went to an early matinee of Star Trek Beyond and then out for a nice lunch at Nico Heirloom Kitchen, the new restaurant in Gilbert's downtown area.  But I was still pretty nervous about this one.

The diagnosis itself surprised me, because I don't think it ever came up in any of the symptom checkers: interstitial cystitis.  I had always thought symptoms associated with IC were like those of a urinary tract infection, and that's not what's going on with me at all.   The doctor said this is usually a diagnosis of exclusion, what you get stuck with when all the tests come back negative and you're still in pain.  However, in my case, my bladder actually demonstrated the hallmark "weepy" behavior when she hyper-inflated it while I was under anesthesia, so this is not one of those "we don't know what else to say, so we'll say this," situations.

Treatment, for now, is physical therapy, just once a week for six weeks to try and strengthen my pelvic floor muscles (which are operating well from my perspective, but once again, I don't know what I don't know here.)  I've had great results with physical therapy in the past, so I'm hopeful.

pre-prep

Yes, I know the title is redundant.

I'm up now because I had a little nap, and I had a little nap because I was exhausted.  I've worked the last 3 days at my old school, even though my new school in-service doesn't start until next week.

The junior high has grown so much at my old school that they have hired more teachers, and the person they hired to teach the overflow math and science classes bailed just days before school started.  Since I will be teaching those subjects at my new school, I offered to help out.  A new teacher was hired almost immediately, and she started on Monday, but there was so much district-specific orientation to go through that the administration had me come in and teach her classes Monday through Wednesday.

This was cool for a number of reasons, the first being it was really nice to see everyone again.  It really is a great team there, and the new people they've brought on board fit right in and have the right spirit.  Since I will be team lead at the new school, it was good to get a preview of what to expect in terms of new requirements from the administration, etc, too.

It was especially cool to get some practice in teaching math.  I haven't done it before, but compared to teaching science, it's a pip: every class has the same format.  I don't have to go scrounging around the web looking for content or songs or labs, I just deliver the curriculum.  I can see how it could get boring, but I'm surprised by how much I'm looking forward to it.  It was really good to be able to practice with my old colleague right there across the hall to pester whenever I had a question.  She was very patient with me, and I really appreciated that.

Of course I am thoroughly exhausted now, and the only reason I'm up is the aforementioned nap.  I wasn't bothered by pains while at school, mostly because I was too busy, but by the time I got home in the afternoon I felt horrible.  I'm still bleeding a tiny bit, too, but not as much, and the bladder pain has almost completely subsided.  I'm glad to have had the distraction these past three days.  Now I just have to keep busy until my appointment on Friday when I find out (I hope!) what's going on with me.  I think it's ridiculous, having to wait two whole weeks for the results, but not everyone can give one-day turn-around the way they do at M. D. Anderson.  (Some part of me believes I'll be back there soon for treatment, but the rest of me is just carrying on as if that's ridiculous.  It's not quite ridiculous, or even really unlikely, but I like to think it is.)

I have that good sense of exhaustion that comes from having done good work.  Tomorrow I start (again) my last week of vacation, and I have to make calls to arrange my last content class, plus I have plans with the kids.  This is a good way to end the summer.

Flagstaff wildflowers

DD and I took off yesterday afternoon for an overnight in Flagstaff.   My Thursday class had been rescheduled, so I had the evening off, and we hiked the trail behind Little America.  It was peak wildflower season, with tiny but mighty flowers everywhere.

in-between time

I'm much more comfortable after removing the catheter on Monday.  Somewhere I have a little diatribe to deliver about that, concerning such things as taping it to my right leg, which would have made driving very uncomfortable if I'd had to do it, and taping it rather tightly, so that it was difficult for me to really pick that leg up to do anything, like, say, go upstairs.  I survived.  Now I'm just sore and my gastroparesis is back and I'm hoping that goes away soon.

I still have ten more days before I find out if anything good (or actionable) came from this process.  The only information I have is that the weird area was much more vascular than the doctor expected.  That, of course, freaks me out, because cancer cells build their own blood supply.  But there were no abnormal cells before, so I'm holding on to that, for now.

I had a break from my usual pains because I was on round-the-clock ibuprofen just so I could sit down or lay down while I had the catheter.  I'm off it now and see that the crab is still in residence, so whatever has been going on is still going on.

My school email is picking up with all sorts of start-of-the-year information, because some of our schools started pre-service today.  I don't have to go back until August 3, and that's good, because I need to get my act in gear and get my lesson plans done as much as possible -- at least spend an hour or so just changing the dates, etc.  Tomorrow afternoon I'm going back to my old school to meet the math teacher and get some help from her -- this is going to be a trip.  Right now I'm feeling like I'm going to enjoy teaching math more than science, because the science curriculum is being re-written in a way that's just a huge lost opportunity.  I'm not letting myself get involved.

I'm staying away from watching the politics and only reading a little.  I just can't go there this time.

Tomorrow: do my History of Science mid-term in the morning, visit school in the afternoon.  That class is coming to an end quickly, and I'm going to have to put together a final project for that, too.   I sense the walls closing in, so to speak: soon I'll have way too much to do, and not enough time to do it in.

Onward.