what is going on?

By this point, we all know that the lockdown, for the vast majority of the country, was never necessary, but no one in a position of power will ever admit that.  I just hope we can unwind out of this quickly and get back to some sense of normalcy.

I am, again, up way too late, but I'm not even going to pretend to be sorry.  I am never alone these days, and if staying up till 3am gives me a few hours of alone-time, I'll take 'em.  Besides, I was super-productive for most of this too-late time.  I need to unwind now or I'll just lie in bed, not sleeping.

Sleep has been terrible!  My hip is bad lately, and pain makes it hard to sleep.  I stretch it out and that helps but still, it hurts. Taking Tylenol is useless, taking ibuprofen helps but screws up my blood sugar, which is edging ever closer to diabetic even though I'm still fairly strict about carbs. 

A few days ago, I got to sleep very late, only to be woken by the plaintive cries of a cat before 7AM (when my alarm goes off); I shut off the alarm and fell back to sleep immediately, into a horrible nightmare that shook me awake at 7:30.  At least I wasn't late for work.

Besides nightmares, I'm waking up with swollen hands, hence the title of the post.  What is going on?  I noticed that I complained about my hands hurting a little while ago, but I also seem to recall that happened after a marathon session practicing juggling (still can't do it.) So maybe my hands only really hurt when I'm using them in unaccustomed ways? Yesterday I spent several hours tailoring and mending, which involved some close work with a stitch ripper.  It didn't bother my hands at the time at all, and it never occurred to me that it would, or could.  But even now, a zillion hours later, they feel stiff and sore.  We'll see if they're any better tomorrow.

I wonder if going off T3 (Cytomel) is starting to have an affect.  I've been off since mid-January, so it's about three and a half months.  I'd think if it were going to have an affect, it would've happened before this, and generally I have an impression that I've felt physically pretty good.

I seem to be undergoing some inflammatory process.  It would not be surprise me if it were depression-related, because I've been balanced on the edge of that pit for a while now.   I don't allow myself to dwell on it, and I have my defenses lined up, but I'm still running, Alice-like, as fast I can just to stay in the same place.