compare, contrast

I had my second follow-up ultrasound today, of my neck.  The experience could not have been more different from last Friday's pelvic ultrasound.  On the positive side, I wasn't exhausted from only three hours of sleep and a long day of travel the day before. I was only the tiniest bit uncomfortable during the exam but that's because frankly I'm not very comfortable anywhere these days.

The pelvic u/s was mercifully short, whereas today's seemed to go on a while.  I've had longer ones, but I've had much shorter neck ultrasounds, too.  There was the usual clicking and typing and beeping as images were recorded.  The technician spent about ten times longer on the right side than on the left.

Of course I know what it means that she spent so much longer (10 minutes versus 1 minute) on the right: there was something to look at there.   This is still just a suspicion, of course, but my anxiety increased when the tech asked, "When is the last time you had a CT of your neck?" 

That is not what a thyroid cancer patient wants to hear. 

I told her I had had a PET/CT scan in February or March (can't remember exactly when, now. Sheesh.)  "Did they see anything?" 

Again, with the questions I don't want to hear.  Response: No, not in my neck.  They biopsied one of those nodes on the right side, too, and it was negative.

Of course, the tech can't say anything at all at this point and probably shouldn't even have said what she did, so she just said, "OK." 

And then I went home, and now I'm waiting until my appointment with Dr. B on Monday afternoon to find out what, if anything, is going on.  I should hear the results of my pelvic u/s with any luck on Wednesday.

I am not good at waiting.  My RA is still flaring along with my gastroparesis.   I was very unpleasant to the receptionist at my rheumatologist's office today (I did apologize, but still feel guilty about it), because she was insisting I had to be treated like a new patient and thus would have to go on a waiting list to get an appointment. The compromise was she would check with the doctor to see if a 15 minute appointment would be OK; I will call tomorrow to see what the outcome is.  While all this is going on I keep thinking I need to get into a regular exercise routine because it would probably help tremendously but everything hurts and I feel pukey and who wants to work out feeling like this?  Not me.

I just want to feel better by the time school starts.  I'm not even letting myself imagine teaching while feeling like this.  I'll be better by then.