I had hoped that after all my testing was over and I finally had my answer that I would have some kind of peace. It turns out that whatever relief I got from the resolution of the medical situation was replaced with other stresses, so it was all a wash.
Kids are fine, husband is fine, house is fine. School oscillates between being deeply satisfying and unbelievably frustrating. I'm struggling with lesson plans that work beautifully with two classes and fail utterly with two others. I don't get it. I remind myself of the Chinese proverb defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different to happen. Me, I hope that when I do the same thing -- teach a particular lesson -- I get the same results, or at least something similar. No luck.
I remain at a loss for how to deal with certain students. "I didn't know you wanted us to learn this, I thought we just had to take the notes," one student said to me today. Of course the entire purpose of taking the notes is to help the students learn, and I have -- innumerable times -- explicitly told them that, just as I have explained why I ask them to do each particular task or assignment. Everything I ask them to do is to help them learn, but at this point, I'm left with no alternative but to assume they are being willfully oppositional. Of course that's exhausting, and sad -- they don't trust me, or care enough to try, and that's very hard to deal with.
In among all this foolishness is an ovarian cyst I have been dealing with since Easter. I hope it resolves soon. Standard medical advice says to wait 4 weeks before contacting the doctor. I really don't want to deal with yet another round of medical testing.
Tomorrow is May, and the whirlwind begins in earnest: a concert with DD, Feed My Starving Children, the last debate tournament of year, ASP testing for the kids, graduation recital, awards dinners, finals, etc and so forth, straight through to Memorial Day. I don't finish school until June 1st... only one more month.
Many plans have been made for the summer, very few for beyond that. We'll see.