Before we left home, I had all these grand ideas about jaunting up to Boston with the kids for this or that great cultural experience.
Now that we're here, I don't feel like leaving. We manage to find things to do, and having friends next door is so awesome for the kids that I want them to experience that as much as they can.
Today, another rainy day, we planned to go to the movies in the afternoon. But the weather cleared about 2, and all the kids went out to play, and I just let them. Why should I hustle my kids into a movie theater to sit in front of a screen when they can spend that time playing (or arguing, as the case may be) with other kids?
People are always more important than things, especially things like movies, television, or computers.
* * *
I wonder if it's inertia I'm feeling or frustration. There is a lot of work to be done around this house, and most of it I am positively prohibited from doing. I want to do it anyway, but I also don't want to upset my mother. The problem is, there is a lot of stuff that she hasn't used or looked at in more than ten years, and in all likelihood she won't do either, ever. But she won't let me sort through it and dispose of it, either -- even though it's taking up precious space in the room my three kids are living in this summer.
People are more important than things, I think -- but I also think I need to respect my Mom's decisions, but then I think she's not making decisions, she's punting on the decisions that should have been made years ago because she doesn't want to deal. So let me! Let me deal with it all! Really, it would be quite painless for her.
Now I'm being a pushy daughter again. I have to find some way to let go of this feeling of constantly being thwarted. It's not a good feeling.