Tuesday, July 11, 2006

also noted



That lump on the right side of my neck, the one that came back with a negative biopsy?

It's as hard as a rock and killing me, and it's definitely bigger. I feel like someone transplanted a large marble into the side of my neck. I can feel it when I swallow, which is weird -- I'm used to having a lumpy sensation lower down in my throat (which I still do, even when I'm not swallowing, I feel like there's something there), but it's odd to have this feeling like someone is poking the side of my neck when I swallow. This feels new, and I'm not inspired to go read the archives right now to see if it is new or not.

Needless to say, metastases is the first explanation that jumps to my mind, just because that's the kind of person I am.

However, my nose is kind of stuffy so I may have some sinus thing going on -- so the size and the pain could just be due to reactive nodes. However, again, reactive nodes aren't usually as hard as rocks.

Salivaries are weirding out again, my eyes feel like sandpaper a good deal of the time, but my RA has been dormant except for a little hand-stiffness in the mornings. Given the amount of unusual physical activities I've been participating in (moving dryers and furniture, jumping in humungous waves, vaccuuming way more than usual), I'd expect to feel totally lousy. But so far, I don't.

My digestive system is working a lot better but mornings are generally bad. Any given day, at 10AM I feel horrid and sure I won't be able to get anything done because my stomach is so bad, but by 11AM that's passed and we've managed to have great days nearly every day. In fact I can''t think of a single flat-out bad day yet.

Sleeping is going pretty much OK, but I am constantly battling fatigue. Between the fatigue and the digestive issues, I've been happy to stick around here and not go driving all over the place.

And if I'm totally spoiling the kids because I have a sense of impending doom (see: Houston, late August), well, that's just because that's the kind of person I am.

1 comment:

ALEX SUPERTRAMP said...

JOAN,
I do Nuclear medicine for a living, so I know what you are going through. (strictly proffesional knowledge), of what you are going through. No one can know, but you.
This I will add though, my best wishes to you!
What I have found with the patients that I see is the ones with a positive outlook, a love for life, and good selfesteem are the ones that do the best.
I don't want to pretend to be a medicle Budda, but outside of things like cancer, diabetes etc, a persons health is a state of mind.
expect that your going to be better, and positve things will happen. What I teach my daughter is: If you smile at the world.....The world will smile back.....after all, the sun will shine in everyones backdoor someday.
My hopes and thoughts are with you.