still not there yet

Well, I did fall unconscious (that is, I took a nap) after our late dinner this evening, but I was just feeling really tired.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning but dozed until sometime after 7, after which it was pretty much go-go-go until I crashed for the post-prandial nap.

So I'm wondering, when am I going to start feeling really, really crummy, the way everyone expects me to? I'm feeling the cold a bit more now, that's true. And I don't have a heckuva lot of spunk, either. But I managed to do a lot today, anyway. DH, foreseeing a week in which his working hours are incredibly disordered, put in about 5 hours at the office this morning, leaving me with the kiddos.

I made them bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast for breakfast, and then made myself an apple pancake. Then I played Yahtzee with the two older ones after cleaning up the kitchen. I puttered for a while and then made us all lunch, then cleaned up the kitchen again.

I think there must be more fogginess, now that I'm thinking of it, because there are big stretches of the day where I think, what was I doing, then? But it's just as likely that I was reading the newspaper (which I did) or online here and there (which I also did, always do).

When DH got home we took everyone out to the Mall and bought new shoes for DD and more pants at the Gap for DS1 -- alas, having brought the pants home for the try-on, they are cut much too slim! So much for that "regular" labeling, at least in this case. Grrrr. The kids were very good in the Mall and enjoyed their food court snacks. All 3 of them are in various stages of colds. DS2 has a faucet nose, poor dear. He keeps running over to the tissue box to grab one. Then he wipes his nose and throws the tissue wherever, which is just so annoying since there is literally a wastebasket directly underneath the desk on which the box of tissues is sitting! We're working on that one.

DS1 has a drippy nose, too, but he doesn't bother with tissues, he just sniffles and uses his sleeves. I know, I know, Ewww. We're working on it.

DD's cold is more settled in her throat/chest. She is fastidious, at least, and would no more leave mucous-y tissues around than I would. Bless her!

So perhaps I will just continue on this particular plateau on the Descent, until I can get my treatment -- I hope so. I am snippy but not unbearably so (I hope). I am more ready for this to be over, now, that's for sure!

Today:
breakfast: 1/4 apple pancake (too salty! What was I thinking?), coffee with Designer Whey protein powder, cinnamon, gingerbread syrup, which actually was not that bad. Not what I wanted, though.
lunch: sandwich made with two thin slices of Italian bread, brushed with olive oil, the last of the pork roast, lettuce and tomato, drizzled with more oil and some vinegar, salt & pepper
snack: a few sips of a dreadful tea at the Mall ("Calm"? Some nasty chamomile concoction; keep that stuff away from me!), a handful of pecans much later
dinner: salad with tomato and romain, o&v&s&p; steamed broccoli sauteed in olive oil with garlic, red pepper flakes, and lots of salt and black pepper; broiled flank steak. Yes, I made that dinner, the whole thing, after trudging around the Mall with the kids for a couple of hours. Where am I stealing this energy from?
dessert: 2 squares organic chocolate

Hands today the same, bothersome on waking but unremarkable otherwise.
My throat is a little more sore today, and the glands are still swollen and tender. Day 2 on Zithromax. I wonder when the glands will come down? If it's cancer there, will they have to be surgically removed, or will the RAI be sufficient?
Skin is starting to feel more lizard-like, especially the hands if I do any amount of dishes or cleanup, as I did today. At least for today my back wasn't itching. I think the hydrocortisone cream I slathered on after the shower helped a lot.

I'm out of my B-vitamin complex and must go to Trader Joe's tomorrow and get some more, should've gone today, but I'm feeling just a little too loopy/spacey to drive. I could if I had to, but I don't want to go that far and suddenly feel incapable of moving, as I did after dinner.

Some part of me is annoyed right now. I cooked dinner because DH decided to give the kids early bath tonight, so he went right up to draw the baths when we got home from the Mall. Which left me to make dinner, or else everyone starve or eat, what? Toast? I don't know what he was thinking. I did not (do not) have the energy to pick a fight with him over that decision: it's Saturday, couldn't they skip a day? Or did they already skip yesterday? That's possible, we really don't like to skip more than a day... See, there's evidence of somewhat muddled brain function. Anyway, I had a feeling I shouldn't have to make dinner tonight, but since there wasn't anyone else around to do it, I did.

How fortunate I was actually able to accomplish it! (sarcasm off, now)

IOW, can I ever catch a break?

OTOH, it's not like we could've just gone out for dinner. DH could've taken the kids out, for sure, but what was I supposed to do? Sit there and watch them eat? Not fun.

Eh. I'm still highly functional but definitely not normal. I think perhaps I'm feeling more emotional effects than I was initially willing to admit to. Yesterday I wore makeup because I felt I looked horribly pale (I do), today I didn't bother. I didn't bother to get dressed to go out, either, I just wore my gray yoga pants, blank turtleneck and orangey hoodie that I've been hanging out in all day. Not one of my better outfits. And my black boots are trashed, I really need to polish them, but I wore them anyway. My entire demeanor screamed, here is a woman who does not care how she looks, which is a big neon indicator that there is something wrong with me, ya think? Oh, yeah. Little Miss Vanity here would not usually be caught dead out-of-house in that outfit, unless it was a 30-second trip to the mailbox to fetch in the mail. I may slack on the makeup thing about 98% of the time, but I usually do much, much better on the clothes, mostly because I have a tremendous wardrobe of comfortable, well-fitting pieces. There was no reason for me to look like a schlub today, other than the fact I didn't care.

BP is holding up well, better than at the dr's yesterday AM -- in the low 100s/60s. And temp is holding steady at around 97 degrees. I don't want to fall into a myexdema coma, after all: my TSH has been rising so rapidly, I actually looked into the signs and symptoms of what dangerously low T4/T3 would be ("altered mentation" being the most likely first symptom). Ironically, myexdema comas rarely involve being comatose. I love how precise medical terms have much more general associations in common usage. (again with the sarcasm) It messes up perceptions quite a bit. But typically, temps drop to around 95, and BP bottoms around 80s/50s (which is where mine was yesterday morning, but maybe that was because it was before breakfast?) I've alerted DH what to do and what to tell the medical folks if I fall off that cliff. Could happen. Doubt it will, though. You never know. I've been pushing myself hard, even though it doesn't really feel that way.

This is just really, really odd.