Tuesday, November 16, 2004

bloat

Oh, I hate typing on this keyboard. I had several nice paragraphs and then hit something and they disappeared! Grrrrr. I'll get used to it.

I'm water-logged. Ever since I took the pill, I have been drinking and peeing, but I don't think I've ever forced fluids to this extent before. It's important to keep flushing the body thoroughly to wash away the excess RAI as quickly as possible. The longer it sits around, the higher the chances of it hurting something else that it is not intended to hurt.

Case in point: salivary glands. Another thing I have to do frequently is suck on hard candies to flush them out, too. The Altoids Sours are fantastic. I have always loved sour candies since I was a tiny girl, and these are definitely the best I've ever had -- except maybe some Norwegian jellies I bought in Oslo, once. But it's not like those are readily available to me at this point.

The Jelly Belly Sours are OK but too small and too sticky to really do the trick. Maybe if I pop 4 or 5 at once I can get a good chew out of them? I'm probably better off with the Altoids. I stick them under my tongue and it's like Niagra Falls in there... excellent! So far, anyway.

The NucMed dr was insistent on this, especially as I took a pretty high dose for my size. He even wants me to get up at least once or twice overnight to drink and have more candy. I don't think it's going to be a problem, because I can't imagine going more than 3 hours without having to pee. My bladder just isn't up to it! (chug chug chug)

I took my first of several showers about 8:30, and used my new CVS lotion. Perhaps it's because of the RAI, which the doctor warned me will most likely alter my tastebuds, but this lotion smells like roses to me, which is my absolute favorite scent. I bought it because it was the CVS version of Lubriderm and it was quite a lot less expensive, so why not give it a try? I smelled it in the store and thought it was pleasant enough, but at this point I really love it.

Then again, I could just be crazy/bored.

I am pretty pooped. I was up late re-writing the book, and then spent about two hours this morning pencilling in the illustrations. It's 24 pages. The NucMed dr seemed quite impressed with it, he took the time to leaf through it a bit this afternoon. To tell the truth, the dr seemed quite impressed with me, which kind of flustered me a bit.

I've been through a lot but don't consider that I've done anything all that extraordinary, but what do I know? The dr said, "I know you'll do well. I don't think I've ever had a patient who was so well-informed and well-prepared." (blush)

I think it's very important to accept compliments graciously, and so I did. I was surprised that the dr actually stayed and chatted with me for 10 minutes or so after I took the RAI: it comes in a little round lead cylindrical box, and there are "warning: radioactive material" stickers all over it. I didn't actually get to see the capsule itself since he didn't want me to touch it, and neither did he -- he picked up the little cup the capsule was in (inside the lead cylinder), and tipped it right into my mouth. It felt small, just like one of my supplements. It was easy to swallow.

About a minute later, the dr took the Giger(sp? I always want to spell it Geiger but I think that is the artist who invented the Aliens Alien, very creepy stuff) counter and measured how much radiation I was emitting. Using a tape measure, at 1 meter I was generating a field of 28 miCu/hour; at 30 cm it was 124 miCU/hour. Radioactivity is a great real-world example of something that operates exponentially.

So then he shook my hand -- I said I would but I didn't think it was such a good idea, and he was supremely unconcerned and said, "Of course I'll shake your hand," and did so. Then off he went, and I had to sit there for an hour, which went by pleasantly enough with me sipping water and dozing. Then I went to the bathroom because the last thing I needed was to have to pee on the way home, when the traffic was going to be bad -- which it was, and I didn't, so that was good.

It's so odd being home and not out there.

DH didn't go back to work as by the time we got home it was after 4. He took them out to Boston's for dinner (pasta and pizza... is there anything on their menu I would even want to eat?) and then I went out to the kitchen and made my own dinner: diced up some fresh Romas, sauteed with garlic and Italian seasonings, threw in the cooked peppers and zucchini: instant almost ... what? brain lock, here... it's a Provencal dish that also usually has eggplant -- ah, there it is: ratatouille. I love it, except I usually leave out the eggplant. Hee.

I threw in some cooked chicken and that was supper. And since I've been swilling water and sucking hard candies all evening, the idea of actually eating anything is pretty repulsive to me. I don't think my body is purging this water as well as it could, which is probably a function of both the hypoT state and possibly the RAI itself. Still, I've seen my ankles lots puffier than they are now. Wonder how they'll look in the morning? My hands are a bit puffy, but not too bad: my rings are not sliding around the way they usually do, but they haven't become too tight, either.

Man, water retention sucks.

I'm blogging in my new pajamas. I love them, but they cost too much. DH really likes them (a lot!), and when I told him I felt guilty about how much I spent on them, he brushed it off immediately. Sweetheart.

It was bittersweet listening to DH help DD read "Hop on Pop" all by herself tonight. I should've started her on the Dr Seuss books earlier, but things have been so discombobulated. At least we've been reading "Little House" together, which is awesome. But she will progress very quickly now. I think she will soon be reading those Little House books herself!

It is lonely to be in a house full of people and not be able to get any hugs, or even pat the cat. I sat in the hallway and DH stood in the kitchen for a little while this evening after the kids were all in bed and we talked a little bit, but it is not very comfortable and there really isn't much going on that we haven't discussed already, since we've spent a good deal of time in the car together lately. He is such a blessing.

Oh: Dr T's office called this morning, pretty much first thing, and said there was a suspicious lymph node -- does not surprise me -- and the dr wanted a CT scan with contrast. I had to explain the RAI/WBS situation to the nurse, and to please have the dr call me if he has questions about it. I will make arrangements to get the U/S results up to the NucMed dr, and to get the scan results from the WBS to Dr T, and then everyone can decide what's going on with that lymph node.

I did ask the NucMed dr about whether or not further surgeries would be necessary, and he said we really have to wait and see what the scan says, and how my blood levels of Tg are post-ablation. I'm going for the scan next Wednesday, after my follow-up with my surgeon, who is right up the street.

It's hard to think that the thyroidectomy was already almost 4 weeks ago. Four weeks ago
I didn't know I have cancer. Four weeks ago, the election hadn't happened yet. A pretty momentous four weeks...

I went to St Mary's with DS2 just after 9 and received the Sacrament of the Sick. It was awesome, in the true sense of the word. Mom told me it would make me feel better. She was right. I think it's wonderful that you don't have to be at death's door to receive it anymore. I can certainly use all the help I can get. These days I do feel buoyed by all the prayers everyone is saying for me. I know they are helping sustain me through this.

I would like to work on my other book while I'm in here, too, but I think I may just veg out....we'll see if the ideas will leave me in peace, or whether they will pester me so much that I have to do some work!

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