nope

I took the T3 for just a few days and noticed many more palpitations and no slacking of the hand pain, so I've ditched it.  Well, it's still in the cupboard, but I'm not taking anymore.

Last night's insomnia was the worst, and I'm blaming the T3.  I think I got maybe 4 hours of sleep?  Ridiculous, just lying there, listening to all the parts of my body saying "ow" at various levels of insistence... after I'd taken Tylenol to take the edge off, too.  I thought it would help, and I'd be able to sleep, but no.

Today I went out (gasp) to Sprouts and bought some oil of oregano capsules, because I've heard they're good anti-inflammatories and what do I have to lose?  I thought I might be burping oregano all day, but I wasn't, but I did get killer heart burn, but they may have been from my coffee, and not drinking enough water.  At times today I actually forgot that my hands hurt, but now is not one of them. 

If this keeps up I'm going to need to do something about it, because living with chronic pain is bad on so many levels.  And it's not just the hands... it's the feet, too.  Hands are much worse though, the feet I can mostly ignore.  But if I was going to blame my hand situation on carpal tunnel, how would that explain the feet hurting, too?  (Right, it doesn't!) 

So I'm hoping the oil of oregano knocks me out of this flare because I don't want to have to deal with this.  My diagnostic mammogram is a week from tomorrow, and I'm trying not to freak about it (as usual), but there really are some noticeable differences that need to be investigated there.  One thing at a time.

Speaking of... I am a complete failure at parenting my youngest.  When the lock down started, I sunk into a minor depression and put myself on a strict regimen of doing certain things to keep myself sane and able to do my own work, but I really didn't give him any particular attention, and I stopped checking in with his schoolwork every week.  His spring break was extended a ridiculously long time, and to be honest, I'm not even sure what week they went back.  But here's the thing: because I stopped checking in with him, I didn't catch that he had fallen into an even deeper pit than the one I was (am) in.  So, he's failing all his classes because he hasn't handed in a single thing since spring break/corona virus lock down.  What a mess. Of course it's not all on me, and he lied (again, repeatedly) to me about his school work.  I hate that, but I have to let all that go. So now he'll be looking for some kind of full-time work when the economy re-opens and he'll be trying to figure out what he wants to do, long term.  God only knows. 

Meanwhile, DD continues to live a performative life online and makes a point of posting at least one or two articles a day to Facebook to show that she is politically and philosophically emancipated from her parents, if not financially so.  Today's entry, from the Atlantic, about how the US is a failed state.  I cheekily commented that she was free to move somewhere else.  Is she trying to pique me?  Of course.  Is it working? Today on Facebook I hid her posts for 30 days.

Yesterday was really not a good day, but we have only one more week of instructional time at school left, and that helps a lot.   I've been telling people, I was a software developer for years before I became I teacher.  I quit that job because I don't want to spend all day in front of a computer, and what am I doing now? No wonder I'm losing my mind.

Also yesterday: canceled our summer flight to the east coast to visit family.  Since they live in COVID hotspots, there's no telling when we'll actually be able to visit there and, you know, do the things we'd like to do. There is zero point in flying across country to sit isolated in someone else's house!

Summer heat has arrived already!  No word yet on whether this year's STEM camp (first week of June) is on or off.  Hoping to have an answer to that by the end of next week.  I don't like how much wait-and-see has been going on lately.  It is just not my style, but then, I am enough of an adult that I can suck it up and muddle through this until we get back to some sort of normalcy.  It can't come soon enough.