I called the endo's office and was able to speak to Y to see how things are going. Dr. M, having been out of the office for 2 days last week, is swamped, and so I probably won't hear from her until much later today or tomorrow.
I did ask Y for my Tg (thyroglobulin) number, and it's up to 1.7 from 1.4.
That is bad news, and there is no way to spin it into something else. Tg is not supposed to rise while the patient is on a suppressive dose. I was so hoping that the lymph nodes were related to the sinus junk I've been enduring lately, but now that seems unlikely. Note that I completely chickened out and didn't ask about the FNA biopsy results... I literally didn't want to hear it.
This weekend, thinking about the possible courses my life will take in the immediate future, I felt gripped by a near-panic. I don't want any more surgery, ever. I have no way of saying this strongly enough: DO NOT COME NEAR ME WITH A BLADE. I have enough scars. I have enough musculo-skeletal problems resulting from previous surgeries. I'm on enough daily medication. I've had enough pain for a lifetime, thankyouverymuch, and I'm only 42.
This is developing into a phobia -- well, not really a phobia, because no rational person wants to be dissected -- and I have no idea how to calm down about it. So I find myself contemplating asking for a prescription for something Valium-like. I need to not freak out, that's not helpful. But I'm not sure I can keep myself from freaking out. Do they make a drug that will keep me from falling over the edge while still enabling me to drive?
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