the question

In the last post, I got so caught up in the details of the day's suckitude that I forgot the point of the thing. I could edit it but I'm not in the mood, and besides, it stands perfectly well on its own.

The question is, what am I supposed to do when my kids break my heart?

That sounds all melodramatic and frankly, stupid, but DS1's sneering Who needs you? was as bad as a slap in the face. It quite took my breath away. I didn't know what to do, so I left.

I think maybe there are tears queuing up, but that's not going to help. I need to figure out what to do when I have been hurt to the quick by these tiny vicious things. When they are babies it's easier, because they don't realize they're hurting you. DS2 is still unaware for the most part, but the other two: they know exactly what they're doing. They are still children and can't restrain themselves from lashing out at someone who has pissed them off, or hurt them, or prevented them
from watching Cartoon Network for 10 consecutive hours. You know: me.

It's just that they are so good at it. I really have to develop thicker skin, but how? I'm 41 years old and tend to think, "well, this is it," in terms of personality traits. It's no good to say, "Oh, you're fine, really, you're just under a lot of stress right now," because I will pretty much always be under a lot of stress, so I better figure out a way to deal with this, and soon, or I'm going to end up with a completely adversarial relationship with my kids.

DH cooked dinner for the kids after we settled on salmon for us: "What are you going to make for the brats," I asked him, not giving him much choice. He didn't mind (or if he did, he didn't give me even the tiniest inkling). And he made me laugh, a lot, when it was time for the Tooth Fairy to collect DD's first lost tooth.

Lord, thank you for putting this man in my life, and opening my eyes to see him and my heart to love him. I wouldn't be the "me" I am now without him.

See, there's one thing I can do on days like today: ask for help, and trust that it'll be there. Sounds like a plan.