typical day

...
Fridays are our fun day, after DS1's school gets out we all go to Border's for a snack in the cafe and then to the children's section where I read them books until I can't stand it anymore. Today, DS1 announced that he was really hungry when I picked him up so we stopped at Jack-in-the-Box on the way to Border's and I got them all jr. bacon cheeseburgers. Perhaps I am a bad mom, as I'm pretty sure there are hydrogenated oils in the buns, but really... it's meat and cheese, mostly, and it's better than something loaded with sugar, right? All 3 of them chowed those burgers right down, you'd think I never feed them.

At Border's they were training a new guy at the cafe. This would be OK but as I always order a "high maintenance mocha" it became pretty funny. Seriously, I get a the sf milano mocha, but decaf, with sf vanilla instead of the sf hazelnut, and with whole milk... it takes me 5 minutes just to order this one drink. The kids got one of those HUGE cinnamon rolls and I split it 3 ways, they were happy. DS1 spent the entire time there drooling over all the different action figures in a Toy Fare magazine. He is only 6, almost 7, but he knows all the characters even from movies/shows he's never seen ("Look mom, here's Freddy and Jason, and here's Predator!" Yikes. The joys of reading, right?

It was a really nice trip until the very end, when we were leaving but DS2 wandered over to a music station (only 2, but he loves listening to different music), and DD got impatient and actually left without us. I didn't think she had left the store, but DS1 went out and grabbed her, right by the curb to the parking lot -- I'm not sure where she thinks she was going, but I was completely freaked out by this. I harangued her all the way home. All I could think about was, what if someone had driven by and snatched her? It would have been so easy. I felt like Failure Mom.

I think my harsh words to her had good effect, but it's hard to know. Earlier this week she took a ride on the garage door, as it was going up -- she was supposed to be in the van already, and I hit the button to open the door and then turned to see her, holding onto the door and already a good 2 feet off the ground -- I screamed at her, she dropped, and was fine. The door was fine, the motor did not burn out on the opener or anything, but man, again, I was seriously freaked. It's all concrete under the door. She could've broken her ankle on landing or cracked her skull open if she'd falled over, or she could've broken the door or the opener... good thing she only weighs 34lbs.

I told DH that I feel like it has been a struggle just keeping her alive these 5 years, ever since she was born. When she was a newborn, she had a non-nutritive suck, as the lactation expert say -- she just wouldn't suck hard enough to get nutrients in or bring my milk down -- I went through 8 weeks of pumping while nursing, then bottle feeding, and I will never forget how it would take her like 45 minutes to drink 2 oz out of a bottle. After those first 2 months, though, she seemed to get the idea that she should eat, but it was rather touch-and-go there for a while. She's still only like 5th percentile for weight, even tho she's 75 percentil for height. You can imagine. She's my little twig.

The kids made do with leftover chicken, while DH and I had tomato-basil-mozzarella salad followed by shrimp scampi for dinner. The kids won't eat it so I don't pressure them at this point, it's more for us. I had 2 glasses of wine and that took a lot of the edge of the day, but of course then I fell alseep on the couch and now I am probably screwed for going back to sleep when I actually get to bed.

DH really loves those brownies, so much he actually took some to work with him today for an afternoon snack. I'm surprised but happy -- I don' t think he has ever done that before. He goes off plan a lot more than I do, and I know he would like to lose about 10 or 15 pounds. He has been working out more, doing Bowflex and the bike pretty regularly these days. I've learned that I have to let him do his thing, the most I can do is ask if there's anything he wants me to buy when I'm grocery shopping, or cook for him. He really likes all my LC cooking, specifically saying he likes my cauliflower puree better than mashed potatoes(!), and for Christmas he wants exactly everything that we had for Thanksgiving, which kind of cracks me up. All I want is for him to be healthy, because I would seriously fall apart if I ever lost him. When I'm counting my blessings he's always at the top of the list.

I was too busy today to think about larger life issues. I suppose that's good, but part of me thinks that's just procrastinating. I'm good at that. Seriously, though, it can wait until after the holidays. Nobody's going anywhere...

I'm so happy it's the weekend again.