DD came down from Flagstaff for the weekend specifically to put up our Christmas tree and decorate the house. I told her bluntly when she was here for Thanksgiving that I need help, and so she came down. There's a sweetness to it that is tinged with worry for her, she's fretting about what to do after graduation this spring. DH is pushing her towards grad school but she is thoroughly burned out on academia and doesn't want to go. Given the circumstances, I don't blame her.
The world is such a mess.
My partner teacher discovered a new (to us) and pernicious form of cheating this week, and investigating that ate up hours of precious time. Now my team is trying to prevent administration from imposing a consequence on the student that is more of a punishment to us teachers. Nothing to do but wait to see how it plays out. I'm bracing myself for more unreasonable demands on my time.
This week I wracked my brain to figure out whether my 8th graders could do their thermal energy engineering challenge (build an insulating device) and I had to admit defeat. The students can't share materials, can't work in groups, and can't go to the science lab. For their static electricity and magnet labs, I was able to make little packets so everyone had their own materials. For this challenge, there's just too much stuff to do that -- and I have no way of testing >25 devices in a single class period! I thought about putting them into the (always nearly empty now) refrigerator in the staff lounge overnight, but there wouldn't be room.
The grading situation is so dire I literally can't assign my students anything else that's going to require lots of time to grade until I get clear. That may happen this weekend since DD came down -- I was able to finish my religion and 95% of 7th grade for this week (the lessons are done, just need to be scheduled in Google Classrooms.) That leaves 8th grade and writing a new test which will auto-grade instead of having the students design, build, and test devices, and then write it all up. With focus, I can finish it all before heading to Mass tomorrow afternoon, which leaves Saturday evening and all Sunday for tackling my grades.
At least I hope that all happens. I end up getting so burned out I have to just stop and do nothing for a while to recover. Sometimes my diversion is writing a letter to DS2 at boot camp. I believe this week started the more difficult parts of the training, including the 5-mile full-gear hike and perhaps the gas chamber.
Whenever I think of him, I get a fluttery feeling of worry that I have to tamp down. I remind myself to think, he's with good people, because my instinct is to think, he's safe. Oh, he's moderately safe where he is, but he's really not safe. He's learning how to be a soldier, and that's a life of inherent risk, and his MOS is insanely dangerous. So I have to get out of the habit of thinking of him as safe and move on to thinking about him as still alive, and more importantly, happy. because every time I hear from him he just sounds terrific: enlisting was the best decision he ever made.
This was such an odd week of ups and downs. I had a fantastic philosophical discussion with my class one day this week on the nature of time, and a great class today with one of the 8th grade sections. Unfortunately all the good vibes were squished by discussing how to deal with the cheater. I'm beginning to feel a bit manic. I have moments of feeling so light and hopeful but they don't last, and anxiety just crashes over everything.
I know I'm over-tired. I'm up now because I fell asleep working/reading. It was probably only 20 or 30 minutes but it was enough of a recharge that I'm still up now, but I'm going to bed asap and I'm not setting an alarm, for once!
