little green eyes

I haven't been writing... I've been reading, and running around, and about dying in the heat here. 113 degrees today (forecast). I bet it makes it, and then some. DH and I were trying to figure out why we were so hot yesterday -- perhaps because it was 10th-circle-of-Hell hot outside. Funny how the thermostat reads the same but the closer you get to the walls the warmer you feel.

Running around: we joined the Y. DS1's swim team practices are there 2x/week, and they have a lot of other stuff going on as well, so we signed up. DH took the kids over there to swim this weekend, and they had a blast.

I've intently watched big chunks of two swim practices now, paying far more attention than I would've expected. Yes, I want to see how my son is doing -- and he's doing great, he really likes it. But there was something more to it: I'm jealous.

I want to swim, really well. I want to be in great shape. I want to feel strong and healthy.

So, do it, I think, and then I think of all the obstacles in my way. The first, of course, is my health, which has sucked during this hiatus as well. My RA is still kicking my butt (relief when it comes is short duration) and my digestion is totally screwed up. But I can ignore those things for the most part. At least, I think I can.

There are two possibilities for me: first, adult swim lessons, but I'm not really sure I need them. I can swim, just not well, and of course I have no stamina. The second is master swim team -- swim team for grown-ups. Practice is every morning M-F from 6-7AM. Yikes! That would mean getting up at 5:30AM. DH thinks that would be impossible for me and the way I am lately he's right -- but I did remind him that I can nap during the day if I need to. He remains skeptical.

So I'm off to the Y to get advice: lessons first, or just try out the swim team? Then we'll see where it goes from here. I can't go on like this. I need to do something physical to get back into shape, and the idea of getting on workout machines or even walking makes me cringe. Swimming, on the other hand, just sounds lovely: at least my creaky joints will be spared all those nasty impacts that come with all land-based exercise.

If swim team is too much I can just do lap swimming myself at the pool -- but it's so much better for me to have external motivation. But I may have to face the fact that I'm not up to it yet, and keep swim team as a goal.

Damn: I just remembered I have a dermatology appointment next week, and if the doctor needs to slice off any more suspicious bits then I will not be able to swim while I have stitches. I haven't seen anything that I think is weird, but that doesn't mean the doctor won't. Last year's 10 biopsies about killed me, so I'm hoping we won't have to do any... but I will have to put off swim team until I know whether or not I'm going under the knife again, at least.

There's always yoga.