After all that travelogue, I find I'm not mentioning the shadow hovering just at the edge of my vision: I so wish my mother could have been here for this weekend, especially. She was always, always encouraging me to go to back to school, and I know she would have been proud of me. Then of course yesterday was Mother's Day, which is a Hallmark Holiday, wholly manufactured, sure, but still, a day when my family would get together and "open" the summer season with a big cookout at the Cape house, year after year. That's how it was: Dad's birthday (May 4) and Mother's Day celebrated together, and Mom's birthday (June 13) and Father's Day, celebrated together. Forever. No wonder I wanted bbq yesterday...
All 7 of us siblings were actively texting each other in the morning, and I had a good talk with one of my brothers, but this is a time that feels lonely for people I'll never see again. I am more used to the feeling now. I wish I didn't have to be.
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