the interview

Sandy over at the M.A.W.B. Squad recently submitted to an interview, and requested further victims... so, here I am. I volunteered because I liked the thought-provoking nature of the questions that Sandy was challenged with. I don't usually think about such things that are so far from my everyday realm, and it's good to stretch the mental muscles from time to time.

This morning, Sandy posted her questions for me and Night Writer; here are my replies. Update: and here are NightWriter's.

1. Pick a country, any country, to emigrate to for a year. What country did you pick and why? Given the opportunity would you make the move? Could you convince your family to do it?
I do a lot of reading and did a fair amount of travelling in my pre-kid days, so this is a tough question. My first instinct was to say Aruba but I know that in spite of the gorgeous weather, the tourist economy would get to me very quickly. I grew up on Cape Cod and was swamped with tourists every summer and couldn't wait for them all to go home come Labor Day. So, if I could, I'd move to Brittany (La Bretagne), France -- not Paris! I visited Brittany many years ago and I love the land, the sea, the people, and the food. There are ancient standing stones that attest to the continuing presence of humanity going back thousands of years. I'd go for a year but not forever -- and if a source of income was assured, as well as jobs when we got back, I think I could convince my family to come with me. At least, I like to think I could. I think my husband owes me, actually, since he's the one who convinced me to leave Massachusetts for Arizona, lo these many years ago.


2. What do you fear and why do you fear it? What helps you to cope with your fear?
My biggest fear is not being around to see my kids grow up. Since I have cancer, this is not a completely unfounded fear. OTOH, my cancer is highly treatable, and all my doctors keep telling me my life expectancy is unchanged. Still, when you're facing surgery and relatively benign but still nasty RadioActive Iodine treatments, it's hard not to think I'll be shuffling off this mortal coil sooner than I would like. I've had a few arguments about this with God already. The answer always comes back: you can stay, but it ain't gonna be easy.
My best coping mechanisms are spending time together as a family, and writing, especially if it's about something else. Ironically I wrote a post just last night (probably while these questions were being composed) entitled "coping".

3. Name a song that holds a special meaning for you and explain why you chose it. What event or time in your life does it remind you of?
This is a tough question just because I have to give only one song! I make very strong emotional ties to the soundtrack of my life, and music is very evocative for me. Since I have to choose, though, I'll go with Solsbury Hill from Peter Gabriel's Plays Live album. In the early 1990s, I was struggling in an emotionally abusive marriage. There seemed to be no clear path for me to the follow, and this song crystallized my own situation: so I went from day to day/ as though my life was in a rut/ until I thought of what I'd say/ which connection I should cut. I finally gathered up the courage to leave the bad marriage, but it took me many years to recover myself. Like the song's protagonist, I walked away from a lot of material wealth: Hey, I said, you can keep my things, they've come to take me home. Stuff is just stuff, after all, and there are a lot of things that are more important. Eventually I learned I had to take myself home, but that's OK.

4. From Bernard Pivot's quiz, made famous in the U.S. by James Lipton of the Actor's Studio: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? What profession would you not like to do?
I'd love to be a professional chef, or even someone who gets to moonlight in a professional's kitchen, like Nina. I'd love to have the physical stamina it would require! I would hate to be a dentist. The thought of having my hands in other people's mouths all day is just "Ewwww!"

5. You get to be dictator for a week. In this week, you have the power to make five changes in the world. The leaders and the people must obey your decisions. What five changes would you make to improve the world?
This is by far the hardest question. My answers assume I have one week to clean things up, but then things revert to the status quo. So, here goes:
1. Get all terrorist "masterminds" in custody, including but not limited to Osama bin Laden, al Zarqawi, the leaders of Hezbollah, Arafat's Martyrs Brigade, etc. Once the leaders are in custody, smash the organizations completely. Implement a global intelligence/security policy that prevents such organizations from forming and gaining power.

2. Replace the lunatic currently running North Korea into the the ground, and all of his lackeys, with a stable, fair, democratic government.

3. Address our porous border situation. Living in AZ, I should be much more knowledgeable about this situation than I am. I don't have a problem with a guest-worker system, wherein people who have been vetted get passes that allow them to work here. I do have a problem with anyone and everyone being able to just walk in. I also have a problem with giving citizenship to people who have been here illegally, even if they have been otherwise law-abiding. There has to be some consequence for that action.

4. Force all media to clearly distinguish editorial from factual content. I'm not sure how this would work -- different colored typefaces? Change in text size for fact vs opinions in news stories? On air, a different background graphic? A meter that swings back and forth between fact and opinion as the newscaster is talking? In reality I know none of these would work, but it really would be nice if the legacy media would own up to its own opinions... and recognize them as such. Of course, as Supreme Dictator, I'm the one that gets to say which facts are correct!

5. Small beans, comparatively speaking, but force all programming targetted at anyone younger than 20 to be strictly reviewed for disrespectful attitudes towards parents, teachers, clergy, or anyone else that isn't worthy of disrespect. (Let's face it -- some people are worthy of disrespect.) Nickelodean and the Disney Channel, among others, have contributed to an entire generation who think it's OK to diss anyone and everything -- that's what kids are supposed to do. When I was kid, Bugs Bunny was the resident wise-ass, but he wasn't a role model then and he isn't one, now. But he is funny. Why is today's idea of funny for kids always somehow connected with stupid or absent parents or other authority figures? I think it has something to do with lack of imagination.

Bonus: What embarrassing thing would your spouse, parents, or kids tell us about you?
My mom would tell the story about when I was learning to cook, I didn't realize I was supposed to drain the macaroni before adding the packet of powdered cheese sauce! Hey, I read the directions and somehow didn't see that one important word, "Drain." I was 11 or 12 at the time, I think. My brothers still like to tease me about that. They also get that story mixed up with the time that our pastor, Monsignor Souza, stopped by on a Friday afternoon during Lent. My Mom was up in Boston for the day, and I was on call to make dinner -- you guessed it, macaroni and cheese. By that time I had graduated from the blue box to using Velveeta, and I could turn out a very nice dish. Dad invited Monsignor for dinner! I could've died, "Dad! We're just having mac & cheese!" He assured me it was OK, and it was. With Monsignor, it was much more about the company than about the food, although he liked the food, too. Still, I did not screw up the mac&cheese when Monsignor came to dinner, and if anyone tells you I did, they are confused!

My kids would rag on me for getting lost turning around, literally. If we're driving to a place we haven't been before, I always use MapQuest or something similar, but we'll often end up getting lost anyway. If we pull into a shopping center, I'll hear the question, "Are we there, or are you turning around because we went the wrong way?" I figure it's good to acknowledge my shortcomings and deal with them in a positive way, right? (heh) On the way home from DisneyLand, we took a brief detour through the Anaheim Angel's parking lot... the police who were directing traffic into the stadium completely confused me. I knew we didn't want to go that way, but with cops everywhere, I didn't really have much choice, or at least that's how it seemed to me! LOL

My husband would never tell an embarrassing story about me. He has way too much class. He lets me do all the telling myself.


That's it from me. Anyone willing to be interviewed? Cribbing Sandy's directions, here's how to play:

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me”. The first five commenters will be the participants.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions.

3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions. Not to leave anyone out, if you don't have a blog I can interview you by e-mail and post your responses on my blog.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.