knitting break

...
So I've been working like a machine on the fuzzy-furry throw to wear to Friday night's dinner, and my hands are totally killing me. How funny is it that I am taking a break and relaxing my hands by coming over to the computer to type? Seriously, it's bad. I would take something but I can't because surgery is pending on Monday, and no aspirin or NSAIDs are allowed for a week beforehand.

I'm trying to figure out how I feel about this. I don't feel agitated, but I am down, I guess is the best way to describe it. It disturbs me that yet another part of my body is broken. I'm not that sick -- my liver and kidney functions are fine, I don't have any nausea -- but I do have this constant pain that is getting worse (from 2 on the pain scale up to 5 or so, on the 1-10 scale), so it will be great to be rid of it. But I still want to know why this shit is happening to me, and what I can do to stop it! I'm still pretty hopeful about celiac being the underlying cause, but I have to get through this cholecystectomy (I think that's the right spelling) and recovery, first.

Then if I'm still having all the weird digestive symptoms (but no pain) it will be clear that there's still something f'ed up with me and we can move on to diagnose that, and I will be ALL. FIXED. UP. Right? I hope so.

So I'm the world's most neglectful mom today, DS2 is watching Harry Potter 2 on one TV, and DD is watching "Stitch - The Movie" on the laptop. I don't have the energy to do anything interactive with them. I was up until 2AM, knitting. And watching the car chase in The Bourne Identity. That movie totally rocked.

In very good news, I got my first paycheck in the mail today. Happy happy happy. I sent DH a page, "Hey, only 19 more of these and we'll have enough to put in a pool." I don't know how long this job is going to last but I plan to enjoy it as long as it does. I doubt it will extend that long, though. And I still have to talk to the CPA about filing estimated taxes, and the self-employment taxes, too (FICA, etc). Too bad I don't get to keep it all, but I don't care all that much.

Man, the clock on this computer is totally screwed up. It's 25 minutes fast, which is so annoying. I reset it periodically but then it always goes off again. I just had a moment of panic when I saw the time and thought I was late for picking up DS1 at school...

I'm still thinking about Max's comment, and whether or not I want to deal with the 'overhead' of posting my journal in two places. I did really enjoy the support I got when I journaled at TLC (now defunct). One thing I found myself doing, though, was tailoring what I was writing about to that particular audience.

Now the only one I'm writing for is me, although I am aware that others can and do read here. I do really like to get comments, but I'm not actively seeking them, I guess, the way I started to when I journaled at TLC.

Another thing I'm working on is stepping back, just a little, from some of my more intense online involvements. I don't have time to spend hours posting and reading on forums anymore... if I take that time, I end up having to stay up late to finish up work, or ignoring the kids when I shouldn't be. It's just too easy to get lost online for me. When the TLC forums came down, it was a shock to me, but a good one, how much more time I had in the day. I know there will be times when my involvement goes up and down, but for now I'm trying to disciplined and keep my freelance job moving, as well as spending time finishing uploading old entries here, and getting the MakeItLowCarb.com website up and running, too.

I've got a blog over there but the more I think about it, the less I like that arrangement for what I want to do over there, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to kill it and start fresh. No big deal, but there's a simple design that has been percolating in the back of my head for a while now, that shouldn't be too hard to set up. I hope! It has been a while since I mucked around with HTML. We'll see, hmmm?

Time to wrap this up and go get DS2, for real, now...