pending...

This week, I scheduled ten different medical appointments for myself.  In three weeks, I'm having another Thyrogen-stimulated whole body scan, and after that I'm getting a CT.  But before that, I'm having that red spot on my arm checked out.  It looks like a bug bite, but it has looked like a bug bite since July and hasn't changed a bit.  My ex's mother had small basal carcinoma in exactly the same place, so I'm a little worried that the same thing is going on there.  With any luck, it will be nothing. 

I can't be so complacent about the rest of the appointments.  I'll be amazed if they don't find anything, really.  I just hope they don't want to give me a treatment dose, because I don't want to miss the other tests I have coming up (the colonoscopy I've been putting off for years, and the above-mentioned CT scan.)  The maybe-muscle pain in my neck still kicks in from time to time.  It is so frustrating to exercise and stretch faithfully for months on end and not make any progress.  I think eventually I shouldn't need to do these exercises, right?  It should heal? Apparently not.

Since the mysterious nosebleed I've definitely had more front-of-the-head congestion.  It's behind but below my eyes, very weird.  Of course I haven't been to see my ENT because he has no appointments available and I don't have time to drive up to 44th & Camelback even if he did. So I'm just pretending everything is OK there, too.

Since this is a three-day weekend, I have given myself way too much time off.  I've finished my reading for Wednesday's class, but I still have to put together my presentation.  I've updated my lesson plans, materials, and website for this week's teaching, but I haven't even looked at my grading.  I would feel worse about that if I had other assignments coming in soon, but the next batch of grading won't be collected until this coming Friday, so some of the pressure is off. 

Yesterday I took the kids to brunch at Snooze(delightful), and we cruised the farmer's market in Gilbert while we waited for our table.  It was definitely a first because they encouraged me to buy vegetables to make ratatouille, which I did for supper last night.  I roasted all the vegetables separately and then combined them at the end with garlic, thyme, and rosemary (the last from our yard).  It was a spectacular success, and roasting them was so much easier than sauteing them all.

I spoke to Mom for the briefest exchange today.  She slept all day and didn't really want to talk but let me tell her I love her.  She sleeps through most days now, but occasionally is more wakeful.  She is hardly eating or drinking anything.  I saw a photo of Mom this week and she looked puffy to me, so I asked my sister what she thought and she said, yes, she is retaining fluids.  This is expected, part of the process.  My sister and I had a morbid conversation wherein we both hope that Mom hangs on until, for my sister, she gets back from her upcoming trip, and for me, until all my tests are done -- I can't bear the thought of having to reschedule them all.  But both of us know we will do what we have to do.  We must be content with knowing that Mom is comfortable and at home.  She says she is not having any pain and she is able to sleep, and those are good things.  Last weekend her breathing was very irregular but then it evened out again, so we're seeing the process advance like the tide -- waves coming in and going out, and the overall water level underneath changing almost imperceptibly, day by day.  

One more week before I'm back on the low iodine diet.  Sounds like a good excuse to go for sushi.