the question, every day

At some point in the day, I'll take stock of the junk-strewn floor in the family room and start ordering the kids around, very specifically, with directions to put all their stuff away. I've learned to be specific because in cases like this -- toys everywhere -- a general "Clean this mess up!" leaves them overwhelmed. You need to break it down into small, easily accomplished tasks.

So it goes like this: [DS2], pick up those legos and put them away. [DD], pick up those stuffed animals and bring them back up to your room... You get the idea.

The older kids, being older, are used to this drill. DS2, being 4-and-three-quarters, should be used to this drill, but still thinks it shouldn't have to apply to him. So, eventually we come to this question, every day:

Why do you always make me do this?!

Ah, the fury of the nearly-5-year-old, it's a joy to behold -- only not. This is getting so old. I don't know how people who have more than a few kids deal with this. I'm tired of having all these same "discussions" (arguments, really -- who needs to argue with a not-yet-5-year-old? I don't argue. He does!) I've had them already a million times with DS1 and DD when they were nearly-5... do I really have to do it again? At times I think I'm really pushing the age-envelope here; 42-year-olds should not be having to deal with this, right? Then I think of my girlfriends who are older than me who have children younger than mine, and I shut right up. Except they're not dealing with The Cancer Thing, which could have something to do with my emotional exhaustion, and DS2's unwillingness to live by or with the Rules.

Here's what I don't get: DS2 is an extremely bright kid. He knows the Rules of the House, and yet he'll still throw that question-every-day at me for things like pick up your toys; put your shoes away; wash your hands before eating. Things he has been doing since before he was 2 years old! Actually, when he was 2, he was a lot mellower about doing all this stuff.

For the record, the answer to the question is: Because it's my job to make sure you grow up to become a decent human being. "Decent" encompasses all sorts of things, including being respectful and responsible, and being able to take care of yourself by washing up properly, and knowing where your shoes are.*

DS2 doesn't like it when I confront him with his own behavior when he's behaving badly, but I just tell him I'm doing my job. I know this is just a phase. The it's just a phase mantra has sustained me many times in the past, and I'm sure it will help me through this one. I just wish we could get through a day without that question being hurled at me.

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* Remember his shoes being lost last week? They were missing from Tuesday evening until Thursday night, when I found them in the hamper. When he put his socks in the hamper, he spaced out and put his shoes in there, too. I don't know what inspired me to look there, but I was very happy to find them! We went to ZooLights on Thursday night (perfect for walking off all that turkey and pie),and it was a little too cool for sandals, even when worn with socks.