Willful daughter

...

Took DD to her cheer practice tonight, and it was a disaster on a few levels. First, the squad leader didn't show up. After missing last night's picture appointment, she's not looking too good right now. The remaining squad moms decided we'll go to football at 10AM on Saturday instead of 9.

DD did well learning the new cheers but decided to pitch a fit and not practice the old ones -- the ones that she complained about not knowing last week! She threw her poms on the floor and stomped on them. Then she threw them across the room (at me). Then she sat on the floor while the other girls practiced around her. Then she laid down on the floor full out. Ay. Yi. Yi.

She got majorly lectured by me about the whole team responsibility, respect for coaches, etc. She did apologize to her coach for being rude before we left (I made her do it, of course.) Once home I also made her tell DH what she did, and that made her cry because she was so sure she was going to get spanked. She deserved a spanking... with her, it really works. Instead DH nixied her chocolate for an entire week. This is a huge hardship for her, and it's such a great idea that I can't believe I didn't think of it.

I told the other moms that I would call and get the roster and make sure everyone knows the plan for Saturday. If the squad leader is going to drop out I have no problem stepping in. I'm regretting not doing it from the get-go. At this point we have no idea whether the trophies were ordered or not.

Today sucked for me. My digestion is in overdrive and it has -- literally -- taken a lot out of me. Having the cheer practice and no real dinner until very late wasn't good, either. God bless DH for cleaning up all the dishes. I was such a slug today, all I did was drive the kids around and hang out online...

Actually, I did let DD make her own grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. She was delighted. And she did a good job.

But again, I go back to being afraid of what she'll be like when she grows up. She honestly seems to believe she should never have to work for anything... it is really tough. She's only 5, but she can't develop an attitude like that. I'll do everything in my power to struggle against it -- I know that much. Both DH and I really came down hard on her for her attitude. Seriously, what kind of life can she ever have if she never tries? We warned her that we have no intention of supporting her as an adult, so she had better get her head straight on the fact that Life Requires Work. I don't care if she is only 5, it's not too soon to learn that lesson.

Today was one of those days I would label myself as "failure mom". Physically present but otherwise unavailable to my kids, didn't do a lick of housework or writing work, major brouhaha with DD. This health crap is getting me down. I have to watch I don't descend all the way into depression.

I wonder when I will get my blood test results?
I wonder if I will ever hear back from the Princeton Review?
I wonder when my freelance job will rear its ugly head again?
I wonder if I need to tell my dermatologist about the 3 or 4 other "suspicious" spots I've spotted?

Definitely starting to freak out here.